not that its a bad thing but...

mbrek said:
I'm on the fence. I can understand having your own special area where you can relax and vent about issues pertaining to your own kind without worry of outside/clueless opinion. But then you have to have some sort of "bouncer" at the door to turn away undesirables... and frankly, I had enough of that in junior and senior high.

Then you have to decide who gets let in, what criteria they need meet. Personally, I don't want to go back in time in the area of my life when I went through "What are you guys talking about? Can I play, too? Why not?".

At that point I'll take my ball and go home.
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Well said. It should be about inclusion, not exclusion. Am I deaf enough? Who arbitrates our audi charts? Do they need notarizing? What dB level loss qualifies? I have no beef against anyone that comes here and accepts that this site was developed for deaf/HOH people. It is called AllDeaf for a reason. It does not discriminate against anyone. The members can choose to discriminate on their own.

If you are hearing, do NOT come to this site and tell us we need our own deaf-only site. If you do, expect to be "hived" by the masses.
 
It can be like going home or to a safe place for a while to unwind and get your center back. But, look at the various social groups here, they really are not used much. I think the reason is because the deaf are already so isolated that we like to come to a crowded room where we can understand everybody and... here, we are already accepted.
 
Besides, I hate to admit it :giggle:...

I love it when we gang up and throw people out due to good cause. Why eliminate an already good sport?
 
naisho said:
Meanwhile, a hearing parent comes and needs help from anyone who knows about hearing loss because they don't know what to do with their child.
Naturally the topic is open for everyone to reply. Hearing, deaf, Deaf, HH, whatever can join and offer their opinions.

So, hearing makes an opinion that Deaf don't agree with. Deaf make an opinion that deaf don't agree with. Everyone argues over what the OP should do. Whose advice should OP take? It is controversial.

Maybe it would be better if the OP would post specifically from who they are looking for advice from. "I would like advice from signers only" or "I would like advice from anyone" etc. that would cause less frustration over a decision to do, but not everyone is going to think about posting this before they talk... :sadwave:
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I confess that I like the free for all where everyone gives their opinions as long as everyone states clearly who they are, what their background and experience is, and why they came to the forum.

Sometimes hearing advice from someone who doesn't actually have the experience to give it can be helpful to in a way that they probably don't realize. As in, OK ... don't do this but run in the other direction. Also, hearing them explaining their opinions helps me understand the influential people in my childhood better. And that is useful to me also, but again probably not in a way that some advise givers are expecting. Hope that makes sense.
 
saywhatkid said:
You and your story are one of the good things about this site. You did not show up and push your agenda on AD; you let AD educate you. Don't say you are not educated. Your story was one of getting information from people living with hearing loss. You were open to becoming educated, and you were educated. It makes all the difference. Hearing people that show up and tell us to find a new site do nothing but make me shudder that I share air with them. I mean, hello?
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I hope The bolded above wasn't directed at me. I was simply responding to the comments that some don't want the "hearies butting in" etc. I'm not saying anyone should leave. I appreciate the different insight/perspectives we get from different posters. I think the majority, if not all of us here have something to contribute.
 
CSign said:
If it's so bothersome to people to have "hearies" here with a connection to the d/Deaf community, why not see if Alex can create a forum called "OnlyDeaf.com" where only individuals who are DHH can participate. That would likely solve the issue. I think most of the "hearies" here (who stick it out) have a vested interest in the d/Deaf community.
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Creating a place and say that only a specific group of people can enter... is kinda like being selfish and discriminating.

Is it really just "deaf" or "hearing"?

Nope, there's more...

There are many different kinds of deaf people... the ones that call themselves "Deaf"... the ones that call themselves "deaf"... the ones that call themselves "hard-of-hearing"... the ones that call themselves "oral"... etc.

Then there's many different kinds of Deaf people... the ones that claim they follow Deaf Culture (according to their definition)... the ones that claim that the first group isn't part of Deaf Culture, but are part of one themselves... the ones who don't care about Deaf Culture, but acknowledge that they're DEAF... etc.

Then there's many different kinds of hearing people... the ones that refuse to do anything with deaf people... the ones that feel obligated to work with deaf people... the ones who love working with deaf people... the ones who have a "thing" (or fetish) for deaf people... etc.

So, creating a place only for deaf people is still going to cause problems. What if a deaf person wanted to come in and bring his hearing friend in as well since he wanted his hearing friend to join in on a conversation? Oh, wait... his hearing friend isn't allowed to join.

By saying that we need a place only for deaf people is like those whites from years ago who said the bus was for whites only... that restaurants were whites only... etc.

We're all part of one big community. There's no need to separate everyone.
 
naisho said:
I understand the issue from all sides.

There are some topics here people would prefer only Deaf input, other topics where they would prefer Deaf and deaf, other topics that everyone deaf including hoh, and finally topics that include anyone can join.

It's sort of like there's a city council meeting going on discussing an issue about deaf baby. All the members are Deaf and good signers, their input is highly valued for the decision.

A HoH guy walks in the door and joins in sharing his opinions, they might not like it.
A hearing person walks in the door and starts sharing their opinions, they might not like it even further.

It's something they wish to keep the topic selective for people who are an active member of that community, no different than a selective posse like:
- Kids club
- 'Members Only'
- Shareholders discussion for stock owners in X stock
- KKK: ok, very bad example but I hope the meaning is understood (not what the group does), they wouldn't let a black person in a KKK rally would they? They are only looking for the opinion of certain individuals not that it is right or wrong
- CI Parents only

Ultimately, I think the site has stood on neutral grounds. There are sites out there that target specific audience, alldeaf has sort of been like a wikipedia where everyone looks up for something about deafness or discusses about it.
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I would rather take advice from everyone than only deaf people. Sometimes, it takes a different kind of person who see things from a different perspective. We all improve ourselves that way. Sticking with my own "kind" is like saying to those outside of my circle, "Hey, you're not part of us... so we don't want your ideas. Leave!" :(
 
CSign said:
If it's so bothersome to people to have "hearies" here with a connection to the d/Deaf community, why not see if Alex can create a forum called "OnlyDeaf.com" where only individuals who are DHH can participate. That would likely solve the issue. I think most of the "hearies" here (who stick it out) have a vested interest in the d/Deaf community.
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saywhatkid said:
You and your story are one of the good things about this site. You did not show up and push your agenda on AD; you let AD educate you. Don't say you are not educated. Your story was one of getting information from people living with hearing loss. You were open to becoming educated, and you were educated. It makes all the difference. Hearing people that show up and tell us to find a new site do nothing but make me shudder that I share air with them. I mean, hello?
Click to expand...

saywhatkid said:
Well said. It should be about inclusion, not exclusion. Am I deaf enough? Who arbitrates our audi charts? Do they need notarizing? What dB level loss qualifies? I have no beef against anyone that comes here and accepts that this site was developed for deaf/HOH people. It is called AllDeaf for a reason. It does not discriminate against anyone. The members can choose to discriminate on their own.

If you are hearing, do NOT come to this site and tell us we need our own deaf-only site. If you do, expect to be "hived" by the masses.
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CSign said:
I hope The bolded above wasn't directed at me. I was simply responding to the comments that some don't want the "hearies butting in" etc. I'm not saying anyone should leave. I appreciate the different insight/perspectives we get from different posters. I think the majority, if not all of us here have something to contribute.
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I see my original response to you has been removed, and that is probably for the best. I am not usually that way, and I apologize to AD members.

The bolded was directed to anyone that suggests we start a new site. Seems you did just that in the first post, the one I replied to before. I bolded it for you. How else would anyone read it? Accept your viewpoint. Embrace it. But don't expect the rest of us to just move along and find another site. We found one already. It is called.....AllDeaf. :wave:
 
VamPyroX- I completely agree with you. It just seems that there may be some who don't want the "hearies" and ASL students participating in certain discussions. I was just offering up an idea that would serve those individuals desires.

Like I said, I value and appreciate the different perspectives posters here have to offer. Whether they be deaf/hearing/HH/whatever.
 
saywhatkid said:
I see my original response to you has been removed, and that is probably for the best. I am not usually that way, and I apologize to AD members.

The bolded was directed to anyone that suggests we start a new site. Seems you did just that in the first post, the one I replied to before. I bolded it for you. How else would anyone read it? Accept your viewpoint. Embrace it. But don't expect the rest of us to just move along and find another site. We found one already. It is called.....AllDeaf. :wave:
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So I gather you had a not so kind response to me- yet you're apologizing to other AD members? Ok.

Let's be clear on this- I wasn't telling anyone to find another website. I was simply saying that if some people don't want "the hearies butting in", then another site (in addition to AD) would serve that
purpose.
I'm really not sure why you're bent out of shape over my innocuous comment- I was responding t
o what other posters were saying. Maybe their posts were removed too- I don't know. I'd be willing to
bet though, that you saw the same posts I did.

Again- I'm not saying for people to leave this site.
 
CSign said:
So I gather you had a not so kind response to me- yet you're apologizing to other AD members? Ok.

Let's be clear on this- I wasn't telling anyone to find another website. I was simply saying that if some people don't want "the hearies butting in", then another site (in addition to AD) would serve that
purpose.
I'm really not sure why you're bent out of shape over my innocuous comment- I was responding t
o what other posters were saying. Maybe their posts were removed too- I don't know. I'd be willing to
bet though, that you saw the same posts I did.

Again- I'm not saying for people to leave this site.
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You gather correctly. Might be the first time a post of mine was singled out and removed. Not going to debate this any further. Embrace your viewpoint. Own it.
 
I don't mind one bit that there are a good number of hearing people here. There's all levels of experience -- or none, for that matter -- (whether with ASL, or having a deaf child, or being in ASL classes, etc).

What I think many of us Deaf mind are the hearing who actually correct us on things 1) our grammar, 2) what our experiences are -- i.e. we've had parents tell us "no, no, that's just not how it is" after we share school experiences -- excuse me? We LIVED it. We know how it is! Many of our stories hurt us to our very core, and 3) correcting us on terminology - we had one parent who took such offense to how the Deaf refer to their speaking skills. Again, excuse me? We lived with certain terminology all our lives -- you don't get to come in and tell us how WE can refer to ourselves. The sheer ego of some is astounding.

For those who come in and want to interact with this forum positively, you are MORE than welcome as far as I'm concerned.
 
saywhatkid said:
You gather correctly. Might be the first time a post of mine was singled out and removed. Not going to debate this any further. Embrace your viewpoint. Own it.
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I absolutely embrace my viewpoint. It's unfortunate you're misinterpreting my comment. A comment that was in direct response to other posters comments. Perhaps if you looked at it for what it was, you wouldn't be so hostile towards me. I don't want anyone to leave this site. I'm sorry you don't understand that.
 
AlleyCat said:
I don't mind one bit that there are a good number of hearing people here. There's all levels of experience -- or none, for that matter -- (whether with ASL, or having a deaf child, or being in ASL classes, etc).

What I think many of us Deaf mind are the hearing who actually correct us on things 1) our grammar, 2) what our experiences are -- i.e. we've had parents tell us "no, no, that's just not how it is" after we share school experiences -- excuse me? We LIVED it. We know how it is! Many of our stories hurt us to our very core, and 3) correcting us on terminology - we had one parent who took such offense to how the Deaf refer to their speaking skills. Again, excuse me? We lived with certain terminology all our lives -- you don't get to come in and tell us how WE can refer to ourselves. The sheer ego of some is astounding.

For those who come in and want to interact with this forum positively, you are MORE than welcome as far as I'm concerned.
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100% with you on all counts!
 
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