worried woman

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Hear Again said:
byrdie,

first you say that you gave your 3 year old $1.00 or $2.00 to stop her from crying in the grocery store, then you say you didn't reward her for bad behavior. wasn't that exactly what you were doing by giving her money to make her stop crying?
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Secondly--you are assuming again....read the post:

Byrdie714 said:
That's what happens when you bring a "highly-charged" issue such as Abortion to the thread. It explodes as you can see how many pages have been discussed about this.



Well--I remember when she was 3 years old and had a fit at the grocery store. Crying like 'bloody murder' with everyone staring at you, I was at my wit's end and pulled out my wallet and when she saw the money-she stopped that fast!

Anytime that I wanted/needed her to be on her best behavior, I rewarded her with money. Amazing--kids at that age, understand money is a good thing! Like I said....sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. :lol:



I would remind her that I was not going to be financially responsible for it. I would support her emotionally, etc, but not financially.
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I didn't say if I gave her money or not......:cool2: All I said was that I pulled out my wallet and when she saw the money--she stopped that fast.

Nothing about giving her money. So after that episode, anytime I wanted her to be on her best behavior--I reminded her that she would get paid. :)

It worked.

People always complimented on how well behave and well mannered she was. If they only knew....:cool2:
 
Hear Again said:
i *did* read that post. you're *still* bribing her by giving her money for good behavior.
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DUH!

Children are also a financial investment. Nothing wrong with a little "trickle-down" economics. :roll:
 
Byrdie714 said:
DUH!

Children are also a financial investment. Nothing wrong with a little "trickle-down" economics. :roll:
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by making them feel like they deserve money for everything they do right? talk about being materialistic. :roll:

my parents never bribed me with money and yet i learned the difference between right and wrong.
 
Byrdie714 said:
Secondly--you are assuming again....read the post:



I didn't say if I gave her money or not......:cool2: All I said was that I pulled out my wallet and when she saw the money--she stopped that fast.

Nothing about giving her money. So after that episode, anytime I wanted her to be on her best behavior--I reminded her that she would get paid. :)

It worked.

People always complimented on how well behave and well mannered she was. If they only knew....:cool2:
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:cheers: Smart tip, daddy. :D

*take a note*
 
Hear Again said:
by making them feel like they deserve money for everything they do right? talk about being materialistic. :roll:

my parents never bribed me with money and yet i learned the difference between right and wrong.
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And so did she.

If there was any infraction--I deducted her amount and explained to her and still tell her that her Daddy still loves her. :)
 
KarissaMann05 said:
:cheers: Smart tip, daddy. :D

*take a note*
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when i have children, i don't plan on bribing them with money -- whether their behavior is good or bad. i was never given money for good grades or good behavior and yet i never did drugs, alcohol or smoked. i turned out just fine.
 
Hear Again said:
when i have children, i don't plan on bribing them with money -- whether their behavior is good or bad. i was never given money for good grades or good behavior and yet i never did drugs, alcohol or smoked. i turned out just fine.
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I understand that. Each parents have a different parenting style to rise a child, I suppose so. :)
 
Byrdie714 said:
Secondly--you are assuming again....read the post:



I didn't say if I gave her money or not......:cool2: All I said was that I pulled out my wallet and when she saw the money--she stopped that fast.

Nothing about giving her money. So after that episode, anytime I wanted her to be on her best behavior--I reminded her that she would get paid. :)

It worked.

People always complimented on how well behave and well mannered she was. If they only knew....:cool2:
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With all due respect. This is still a bribe. It suggests a reward or pay off. What lesson does that teach? Don't get me wrong, I am a sucker for my kids too! But we must try to teach principals and this can not be achieved with the promise or suggestion of money. But on merits and behavior.
 
Hear Again said:
when i have children, i don't plan on bribing them with money -- whether their behavior is good or bad. i was never given money for good grades or good behavior and yet i never did drugs, alcohol or smoked. i turned out just fine.
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Good for you.
 
IndieVisible said:
With all due respect. This is still a bribe. It suggests a reward or pay off. What lesson does that teach? Don't get me wrong, I am a sucker for my kids too! But we must try to teach principals and this can not be achieved with the promise or suggestion of money. But on merits and behavior.
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It's reward for good behavior and hard work. Not only she got financial rewards but praise as well.

It teaches them the lesson of good behavior and hard work pays off in life and that they would be successful. And she was.
 
Byrdie714 said:
It's reward for good behavior and hard work. Not only she got financial rewards but praise as well.

It teaches them the lesson of good behavior and hard work pays off in life and that they would be successful. And she was.
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Or if she stops crying she gets money :)

please note: I am a sucker with my kids so I should not talk. My wife says I give in too easy to them too!
 
IndieVisible said:
Or if she stops crying she gets money :)

please note: I am a sucker with my kids so I should not talk. My wife says I give in too easy to them too!
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After that episode--she never threw temper tantrum in public again. :)
 
I paid my daughter $100 each time to stop her tantrum when she was 3 years old.


















*just kidding!*
 
Liebling:-))) said:
:ty:

Welcome :)

No, I am not suggest that my both nephew and niece deserve to be aborted
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I actually didn't said both of your sister's kids, one of her kids, I meant. ^_^;

No, I am not suggest that my both nephew and niece deserve to be aborted but I only said that they do not deserve to have kind of life with their mother like that. They often said that they wish other mother, not my sister. It´s really sad to know that they say such thing like that to their own mother because their mother was my sister. They hate their own mother... They envied my boys who have better life than them... Can you image how terrible it was. How they suffer as the same as how my sister suffered to receive hatre from their own children... My sister told me herself that she regretted to have babies at her age and accept the fact that she was a bad mother.

My sister is dead with know that her children hated her... which is most hurtful. No once, loving and comfort.... no even attention.... just dead with hatre feeling which is not right. My both nephews and niece were attended her funeral... They have no feeling toward her... Few days before her funeral, we went straight to see my sister from London Airport to say goodbye before they have to shut the coffin because part of her body disappeared and part of her nose also disappeared, too, no good for everyone to view her... Suddenly, my niece asked us to leave her alone with her mother for few minutes... She came out of room and cried... with no word to say to us... It look like that she really don´t know what should she say...

Is it fair like that?

Wow, your sister and my sister were pretty similar situations in an opposite way (my sister used to hate her mother, now not anymore). Again, I'm truly sorry about everything, but hey - at the least, you did the best thing to support her and tried do your best for her. Right?

Okay - you said, "I only said that they do not deserve to have kind of life with their mother like that." If she do not deserve it, then why did you say, "I guess it would be different story IF we all suggest her to abort a child [your nephew or niece; not sure which one is your sister's firstborn child] without make her feel bad.... She would act like me... get job, education, married, travel, house, later to have children when she feel ready... etc. " So, whole of your own post (#197) is sounds it would be much better life of your own sister if she choose an abortion. Well, I would understand if you think her life will be much better if one of two kids is not there... You are just... near-excatly said what my sister said in an ooposite way too. :(

That´s why I offer my suggestion to not force anyone´s decision to keep baby or make them feel bad/guilty over those word "murder" or "crime"... but support their decision and advise them cons/pros if they need my advice and then would advise them to see counsellor... to compare with my advice. I am not an Expert but counsellor. That´s why I support an abortion as a legal and support woman´s choice because it´s their body and responsble to either they can raise a child or not... it´s their own decision, not us. I personally would not abort a baby but I has to respect women´s choice.

*nods in understandment* Respect & support are pretty importance.

I have seen your posts in abortion debate threads... You are a neutral person and make positive and suggestion posts and tell us what you think, not like some pro-lifers who don´t want to see it and label mothers as a murder... what they label mothers as a murder and negative women´s decision is an intolerant and a judgment.

wow, I didn´t know that you was being called those word "anti-woman Bible-thumper...pro-lifetard" It´s an ignorant to say like that to you... *shake my head*
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Actually, I referred to general people who called me like that but I'm just not surprise at all. I could less care if they hate me. Embrace pro choicers, heh! :D
 
KarissaMann05 said:
I understand that. Each parents have a different parenting style to rise a child, I suppose so. :)
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It's true that parents have different parents style but parenting bribes is not teaching the children from right and wrong, that means the child is not capable of good behavior without bribery. Is that how you want to teach your child? It won't teach the children about respect and responsibilities. You're only teaching that child to do things to get $$
 
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