worried woman

[Maria]

I agree. :|

Sorry to hear about that.

Thanks.

There's more, too about what happened one year later after my sister got pregnant. I will share this story in this thread in a bit.

 

[Maria]

Huh!? Why your parents wanted u to get abort it but not your sister?

My mother feels that I wasn't ready to take my responsibility to raise baby, because I am deaf. But, what really hit her, father and sister harder ? It came from me. I will share my story in this thread in a few mins.

 

[Cheri]

I can't speak for him, but seeing as he would respect his daughters' wishes to abort I think it's safe to say he would respect her choice to have the baby.

How do you see it? You haven't particular in all the abortion threads. He said he would choose abortion for his daughter, I don't know where you getting that he would "respect" his daughter's wishes if she wanted to keep the baby. I would prefer to hear it directly from Byrdie714.

 

[Byrdie714]

By the way, when I copy this post story from facebook to paste in here, and I wasn't expect the argument around here. I didn't even know that people would debate about abortion and stuff. I only posted in here because it made me realized more about abortion so I thought maybe show the mothers who haven't decide about abortion or not. I am not here to make people debate about this story. If you don't like it, then don't waste ur time to debate in here because the doctor may never say anything to this mother. Just ignore my post and enjoying your time in other threads if you don't like this story.

Attacking, hurt, smartmouth to others. All this things is offense most of people's feel, it's not good for their health by fighting a lot on the threads. I am sure most of you in here feel so stress and it's not good. Try get free-stress which ignore this post. Ugh! I just don't mean to make this debate on threads. So people who don't like this post then please move on, go to other threads. Thanks.

You could say "I disagree with what doctor said.". That's all instead of yelling at me or trying to make me and other people to support abortion and stuff. I don't want anybody to trying to change my opinion.

That's what happens when you bring a "highly-charged" issue such as Abortion to the thread. It explodes as you can see how many pages have been discussed about this.

You're bad!

Well--I remember when she was 3 years old and had a fit at the grocery store. Crying like 'bloody murder' with everyone staring at you, I was at my wit's end and pulled out my wallet and when she saw the money-she stopped that fast!

Anytime that I wanted/needed her to be on her best behavior, I rewarded her with money. Amazing--kids at that age, understand money is a good thing! Like I said....sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.

What would you react if she reject and want to keep a child?

I would remind her that I was not going to be financially responsible for it. I would support her emotionally, etc, but not financially.

 

[Hear Again]

off-topic...

i'm sorry, but giving money to a 3 year old child in order to make them stop crying is spoiling them -- not to mention materialistic.

if it were me, i would have left the store immediately and gone home.

children shouldn't be rewarded for bad behavior.

 

[Pepsi]

off-topic...

i'm sorry, but giving money to a 3 year old child in order to make them stop crying is spoiling them -- not to mention materialistic.

if it were me, i would have left the store immediately and gone home.

children shouldn't be rewarded for bad behavior.

I'm so guilty of this when the kids were small I would do anything to shut them up

 

[Hear Again]

I'm so guilty of this when the kids were small I would do anything to shut them up

i understand, but i still think it's materialistic.

if you teach your children what good behavior means by rewarding them with positive reinforcement (i.e. being able to watch a favorite tv program, enjoy a favorite snack, spend time on the computer playing an educational game, read a favorite bedtime story, invite friends over, etc.), they will quickly learn what is expected of them and will behave accordingly.

i apologize for going off-topic, but i just had to say something.

 

[Maria]

Okay...here's a story about what happened to my sister. My parents took her to shoppin' to buy things for baby before her baby was born. They took her to places and gave my sister a plenty of attention and stuff. They also taught her how to take care of baby ( to prepare her before the baby was born ) and everythin'. They were soo excited.

Somethin' changed their plans without a warnin'. I woke up around 1 am in the mornin' when the light flashin' started. It came from the phone ( tty ). It was my dad. He called me to tell me about my sister. My sister's unborn baby was dead in her womb and she was only 8 1/2 months pregnant. The fetus didn't move in her womb for a month and it was dead on her right side. I started to realize that it came from me, my " ripples " that hit her hard. It hit parents hard, too because they weren't goin' to be this baby's grandparents.

You may be wonderin' how it came from me. Well, remember this famous quote " You sow what you reap " ? It wasn't exactly from me and, yet it still was part of me. It have made them all 3 to REMEMBER back what happened to me. They saw my sister's dead baby in her arms at the hospital when the doctor gave her meds to force labor and gave birth. It was a boy. Of course, my sister cried but, she got all the comfort from my parents while I was in grief without comfort. They buried her dead son while the nurse flushed mine in the toilet. They took her to Canada to cheer her up while I was seein' a psychologist for a year for trauma.

My sister was dropped out of high school when she got pregnant at that time and I graduated with a diploma. I left high school one month earlier due to high credit while the other senior students stayed to catch up their credit to graduate. The principal told me to come back for my graduation on June 26th in 1979 so I did.
I came back after havin' a good time with my old friends for a month in Blewett Pass, Washington -- all my senior deaf friends asked me where I was. So, I told them about my little vacation. I was soo excited but, at the same time I was sad to see that my parents and siblings were not there to see me graduate. I was alone. I don't receive anythin' to celebrate for passin' my grade, like gettin' a nice car or somethin' from my parents. There was none.

I would love to share " somethin' " because, it was ALSO involved in this story, but I CAN'T because, it was not allowed. I mean from this AD site.

At the end before I departed Washington state to start my new chapter of life, my old counselor told my parents that my IQ was superior than all senior students and would like to see me to attend Gally after I graduated. I declined.

I have a good reason not to go. I had to cut their " cycle of abuse " by movin' out of Washington state and created somethin' new of my own path. I want to avoid their " bad ripples " or " you sow what you reap ". I don't share my new chapter of life with them. I kept my lips in seal. So far, I am very happy to have all that peace in my life and that I realized I am very lovin' person IRL. Very affectionate. Love to hugs and kisses. I don't want them to destroy my geninue personality.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

off-topic...

i'm sorry, but giving money to a 3 year old child in order to make them stop crying is spoiling them -- not to mention materialistic.

if it were me, i would have left the store immediately and gone home.

children shouldn't be rewarded for bad behavior.

I experienced both boys with terrible two when they were toddlers... but I don't rewarded them or left the store immedicately to home... but just stand and watch my toddlers cries and stamp on the floor.... Of course everyone stared and gave me friendly smile or pat on my or my hubby's shoulder... their impression tell that it reminds them of their children, too... We stayed until we noticed they gave up...and worn out then I walked slowly ... they followed me.... I comforted them and went back to car to home.... and fall sleep in the car... Good patience works pretty good... We saw the couple did the same thing to their toddlers... We smiled at them... and pat their shoulder... give them impression that we did the same thing...

 

[Cheri]

Well--I remember when she was 3 years old and had a fit at the grocery store. Crying like 'bloody murder' with everyone staring at you, I was at my wit's end and pulled out my wallet and when she saw the money-she stopped that fast!

Of course public tantrums are every parents nightmare. But, bribing a child is gonna not solve anything, It means that you gave in your daughter's demands because you respond to her tantrums by paying her to be quiet. Doctors would tell you not to pay attention to their tantrums, they will stop eventually on their own. I hope you had enough money in your bank every time she threw her temper tantrums.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Of course public tantrums are every parents nightmare. But, bribing a child is gonna not solve anything, It means that you gave in your daughter's demands because you respond to her tantrums by paying her to be quiet. Doctors would tell you not to pay attention to their tantrums, they will stop eventually on their own.

True, that's how I did with my both sons...

I hope you had enough money in your bank every time she threw her temper tantrums.

 

[Cheri]

if it were me, i would have left the store immediately and gone home. .

That's what I did, I had a full cart of food, and once my son went out of control, I picked him up, left the cart behind and went home.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Maria, I support you and Cheri's bad experience for being forced by parents in my previous post...

Now your last post make me sad... Your parents were unfair to treat you and your sister differently. It make you feel unloved and unwanted to know that your parents love and support your sister more...

Yes, I remember your posts over religious issue over your Dad in relgious thread.

 

[Byrdie714]

off-topic...

i'm sorry, but giving money to a 3 year old child in order to make them stop crying is spoiling them -- not to mention materialistic.

if it were me, i would have left the store immediately and gone home.

children shouldn't be rewarded for bad behavior.

Yeah well children came without instructions on how to raise them!

Of course public tantrums are every parents nightmare. But, bribing a child is gonna not solve anything, It means that you gave in your daughter's demands because you respond to her tantrums by paying her to be quiet. Doctors would tell you not to pay attention to their tantrums, they will stop eventually on their own. I hope you had enough money in your bank every time she threw her temper tantrums.

Mostly it was a $1.00 or two.....

 

[Cheri]

Mostly it was a $1.00 or two.....

Cheap daddy.

 

[Hear Again]

That's what I did, I had a full cart of food, and once my son went out of control, I picked him up, left the cart behind and went home.

yep. that's what i would have done too. i don't have children myself, but my mother used to take care of foster children and i used to help her raise them while growing up, so i do know a *little* about discipline.

 

[Hear Again]

Yeah well children came without instructions on how to raise them!

that's not an excuse to reward them for bad behavior.

Mostly it was a $1.00 or two.....

$1.00 or $2.00 for a 3 year old child??? geez, when i was 12 years old the most i received for a weekly allowance was $5 and my parents were very well off financially.

i

 

[Hear Again]

Of course public tantrums are every parents nightmare. But, bribing a child is gonna not solve anything, It means that you gave in your daughter's demands because you respond to her tantrums by paying her to be quiet. Doctors would tell you not to pay attention to their tantrums, they will stop eventually on their own. I hope you had enough money in your bank every time she threw her temper tantrums.

exactly.

i remember when i used to throw a tantrum while at the dinner table because i didn't want to eat my vegetables. my mother wouldn't tolerate it and made me sit at the table until i ate all of them. sometimes i'd end up sitting at the table for 2-3 hours at a time. it wasn't long before i stopped having temper tantrums and started eating my vegetables without complaint.

 

[Cheri]

exactly.

i remember when i used to throw a tantrum while at the dinner table because i didn't want to eat my vegetables. my mother wouldn't tolerate it and made me sit at the table until i ate all of them. sometimes i'd end up sitting at the table for 2-3 hours at a time. it wasn't long before i stopped having temper tantrums and started eating my vegetables without complaint.

I remember when my son was crying because he was having trouble putting his shoes on, and he started kicking the walls, lying on the floor screaming, I ignored it, and then he stopped and brought over his shoes to me, I helped him put those shoes on. You see? There's no reason for all that tantrums. All he had to do was ask me to help him, but he didn't at first, but when he saw that I ignored him, he went to me for help. That's how it should be done. But, that's how kids expressed their frustrate by using their emotions to express their anger.

 

[Byrdie714]

Cheap daddy.

But understand to a 3 year-old, $1.00 or two is a lot of money.

Originally Posted by Byrdie714
Yeah well children came without instructions on how to raise them!

that's not an excuse to reward them for bad behavior.

Mostly it was a $1.00 or two.....

$1.00 or $2.00 for a 3 year old child??? geez, when i was 12 years old the most i received for a weekly allowance was $5 and my parents were very well off financially

.

She was never rewarded for bad behavior. After that episode, I reminded her that if she was on her best behavior--she would get paid. Simple as that!

And.....it worked! She became a darling little princess after that.