worried woman

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Maria said:
Okay...here's a story about what happened to my sister. My parents took her to shoppin' to buy things for baby before her baby was born. They took her to places and gave my sister a plenty of attention and stuff. They also taught her how to take care of baby ( to prepare her before the baby was born ) and everythin'. They were soo excited.

Somethin' changed their plans without a warnin'. I woke up around 1 am in the mornin' when the light flashin' started. It came from the phone ( tty ). It was my dad. He called me to tell me about my sister. My sister's unborn baby was dead in her womb and she was only 8 1/2 months pregnant. The fetus didn't move in her womb for a month and it was dead on her right side. I started to realize that it came from me, my " ripples " that hit her hard. It hit parents hard, too because they weren't goin' to be this baby's grandparents.

You may be wonderin' how it came from me. Well, remember this famous quote " You sow what you reap " ? It wasn't exactly from me and, yet it still was part of me. It have made them all 3 to REMEMBER back what happened to me. They saw my sister's dead baby in her arms at the hospital when the doctor gave her meds to force labor and gave birth. It was a boy. Of course, my sister cried but, she got all the comfort from my parents while I was in grief without comfort. They buried her dead son while the nurse flushed mine in the toilet. They took her to Canada to cheer her up while I was seein' a psychologist for a year for trauma.

My sister was dropped out of high school when she got pregnant at that time and I graduated with a diploma. I left high school one month earlier due to high credit while the other senior students stayed to catch up their credit to graduate. The principal told me to come back for my graduation on June 26th in 1979 so I did.
I came back after havin' a good time with my old friends for a month in Blewett Pass, Washington -- all my senior deaf friends asked me where I was. :lol: So, I told them about my little vacation. I was soo excited but, at the same time I was sad to see that my parents and siblings were not there to see me graduate. I was alone. I don't receive anythin' to celebrate for passin' my grade, like gettin' a nice car or somethin' from my parents. There was none.

I would love to share " somethin' " because, it was ALSO involved in this story, but I CAN'T because, it was not allowed. I mean from this AD site. :(

At the end before I departed Washington state to start my new chapter of life, my old counselor told my parents that my IQ was superior than all senior students and would like to see me to attend Gally after I graduated. I declined.

I have a good reason not to go. I had to cut their " cycle of abuse " by movin' out of Washington state and created somethin' new of my own path. I want to avoid their " bad ripples " or " you sow what you reap ". I don't share my new chapter of life with them. I kept my lips in seal. So far, I am very happy to have all that peace in my life and that I realized I am very lovin' person IRL. Very affectionate. Love to hugs and kisses. :lol: I don't want them to destroy my geninue personality.
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Wow.. :(
::hugs: hardly:

At the least, you are okay and have your own family, right?
 
Cheri said:
Of course public tantrums are every parents nightmare. But, bribing a child is gonna not solve anything, It means that you gave in your daughter's demands because you respond to her tantrums by paying her to be quiet. Doctors would tell you not to pay attention to their tantrums, they will stop eventually on their own. I hope you had enough money in your bank every time she threw her temper tantrums. :giggle:
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Byrdie714 said:
Mostly it was a $1.00 or two.....
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Cheri said:
Cheap daddy. :lol:
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Byrdie714 said:
She was never rewarded for bad behavior. After that episode, I reminded her that if she was on her best behavior--she would get paid. Simple as that!

And.....it worked! She became a darling little princess after that.
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:rofl: Sorry, you guys, but you just make me laugh. :D
 
Liebling:-))) said:
I guess it would be different story IF we all suggest her to abort a child without make her feel bad.... She would act like me... get job, education, married, travel, house, later to have children when she feel ready... etc.
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First of all, I'm very sorry for your loss of your dear sister. :hugs: At the least, she was in peace now, no more suffering, right? :)

As for that quote from your own post -
Are you suggested that your (nephew/neice [Sorry, I can't remember which one]) deserves to be aborted? Are you saying his/her life is not that importance/matter, just because of how awful his life is? Is that right? Just wonder.

Liebling:-))) said:
No, you can't compare judgemental and intolerant with murder... Those word "judgment and intolerant" is not an insult or a bash because it's truth that pro-lifers have no right to inference women's decision/choice and tell them what to do because their decision are none of pro-lifer's business. Pro-Lifers call them murder is an insult and a bash because they did not break the law to commit murders but legal fetus removal.

That's the huge difference.
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Er, Liebling. Without doubt, I too was called an intolerant and a judgment (by various people). Even I also called an "anti-woman Bible-thumper pro-lifetard" for what my belief is. I got a plenty of judgments for what I believe and how I live my life if I am just a pro-life woman. =/
 
KarissaMann05 said:
First of all, I'm very sorry for your loss of your dear sister. :hugs: At the least, she was in peace now, no more suffering, right? :)
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:ty:

As for that quote from your own post -
Are you suggested that your (nephew/neice [Sorry, I can't remember which one]) deserves to be aborted? Are you saying his/her life is not that importance/matter, just because of how awful his life is? Is that right? Just wonder.
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No, I am not suggest that my both nephew and niece deserve to be aborted but I only said that they do not deserve to have kind of life with their mother like that. They often said that they wish other mother, not my sister. It´s really sad to know that they say such thing like that to their own mother because their mother was my sister. They hate their own mother... They envied my boys who have better life than them... Can you image how terrible it was. How they suffer as the same as how my sister suffered to receive hatre from their own children... My sister told me herself that she regretted to have babies at her age and accept the fact that she was a bad mother.

My sister is dead with know that her children hated her... which is most hurtful. No once, loving and comfort.... no even attention.... just dead with hatre feeling which is not right. My both nephews and niece were attended her funeral... They have no feeling toward her... Few days before her funeral, we went straight to see my sister from London Airport to say goodbye before they have to shut the coffin because part of her body disappeared and part of her nose also disappeared, too, no good for everyone to view her... Suddenly, my niece asked us to leave her alone with her mother for few minutes... She came out of room and cried... with no word to say to us... It look like that she really don´t know what should she say...

Is it fair like that?

That´s why I offer my suggestion to not force anyone´s decision to keep baby or make them feel bad/guilty over those word "murder" or "crime"... but support their decision and advise them cons/pros if they need my advice and then would advise them to see counsellor... to compare with my advice. I am not an Expert but counsellor. That´s why I support an abortion as a legal and support woman´s choice because it´s their body and responsble to either they can raise a child or not... it´s their own decision, not us. I personally would not abort a baby but I has to respect women´s choice.

Er, Liebling. Without doubt, I too was called an intolerant and a judgment (by various people). Even I also called an "anti-woman Bible-thumper pro-lifetard" for what my belief is. I got a plenty of judgments for what I believe and how I live my life if I am just a pro-life woman. =/
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I have seen your posts in abortion debate threads... You are a neutral person and make positive and suggestion posts and tell us what you think, not like some pro-lifers who don´t want to see it and label mothers as a murder... what they label mothers as a murder and negative women´s decision is an intolerant and a judgment.

wow, I didn´t know that you was being called those word "anti-woman Bible-thumper...pro-lifetard" It´s an ignorant to say like that to you... *shake my head*
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KarissaMann05 said:
Wow.. :(
::hugs: hardly:

At the least, you are okay and have your own family, right?
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:ty: KarrissaMann

Yes, I am okay so far. My grown-up children and I still keep in touch. :)

Thanks again :hug:
 
Byrdie714 said:
Did you ever forgive your parents?
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Oh, yes. I even sent a medium size vase of flowers in it to my mother to show her that I still love her. She never apologized to me since that day ( abortion ).
 
It's easy to forgive but harder to forget. You know what I mean? ;)
 
Cheri said:
It's easy to forgive but harder to forget. You know what I mean? ;)
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Oh, yes of course. I only have one mother. I still love her to this day as still.
 
Hear Again said:
you're welcome.

preemies deserve to live just as much as "normal" babies do.

by the way, if you don't mind my asking, how much did you weigh at birth and how many months premature were you? i was 4 months premature (and weighed 2 pounds at birth).
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Just one month Premmie. I've no idea how much I weighed. Just that I was very sick at birth.

So you were a lot more premature then me. It's amazing you survive. I'm glad very glad you did though.
 
dreama said:
Just one month Premmie. I've no idea how much I weighed. Just that I was very sick at birth.

So you were a lot more premature then me. It's amazing you survive. I'm glad very glad you did though.
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thanks, dreama. <smile> i'm glad you survived, too.

as i mentioned in a previous post, i almost died 3 times. doctors said my prognosis was quite poor and they didn't think i would live.

i have no idea how i did it, but i beat the odds. that's not common for preemies who were born as premature as i was.

i'm *so* thankful my birth mother didn't decide to abort me because even though i can't see or hear ("normally"), i love my life and plan to live it to the fullest extent possible.
 
byrdie,

first you say that you gave your 3 year old $1.00 or $2.00 to stop her from crying in the grocery store, then you say you didn't reward her for bad behavior. wasn't that exactly what you were doing by giving her money to make her stop crying?
 
Hear Again said:
thanks, dreama. <smile> i'm glad you survived, too.

as i mentioned in a previous post, i almost died 3 times. doctors said my prognosis was quite poor and they didn't think i would live.

i have no idea how i did it, but i beat the odds. that's not common for preemies who were born as premature as i was.

i'm *so* thankful my birth mother didn't decide to abort me because even though i can't see or hear ("normally"), i love my life and plan to live it to the fullest extent possible.
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I guess that you are just a survivor. It's great that you have such a possitive attitude to life. (smile)

A lot of normal people don't have positive atitudes like this. It's not always what you've been dealt with, but wether you choose to look at what you HAVE got rather then what you haven't.
 
Liebling:-))) said:
They hate their own mother... They envied my boys who have better life than them... Can you image how terrible it was. How they suffer as the same as how my sister suffered to receive hatre from their own children...
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I can understand that situation. It's sad when children can't like or respect their parents. However, I also think that you make your own life eventually. whatever your upbringing.

Some people have a really good upbringing. They have a good parents and a good life yet they still end up as criminials. I've known people like that.
 
damienmommy said:
(Just thought maybe some of u want to know the story. I copy it from facebook, my friend posted there. I don't know where she gets it but I just find a interesting story here, sorry if I post it in wrong place..)

A worried woman went to her Gynecologist and said: 'Doctor, I have a serious problem and desperately
need your help! My baby is not even 1 yr. old and I'm pregnant again. I don't want kids so close together.'

So the doctor said: 'Ok, and what do you want me to do?'

She said: 'I want you to end my pregnancy, and I'm counting on your help with this.'

The doctor thought for a little, and after some silence he said to the lady: 'I think I have a better solution for your problem. It's less dangerous for
you too.'

She smiled, thinking that the doctor was going to accept her request.

Then he continued: 'You see, in order for you not to have to take care of 2 babies at the same time, let's kill the one in your arms. This way, you could rest some before the other one is born. If we're going to kill one of them, it doesn't matter which one it is. There would be no risk for your body if you chose the one in your arms.'

The lady was horrified and said: 'No doctor! How terrible for you to think of killing my child!ʼ

'I agree', the doctor replied. 'But you seemed to be ok with it, so I thought maybe that was the best solution.'

The doctor smiled, realizing that he had made his point. He convinced the mom that there Is no difference in killing a child that's already been born and one that's still in the womb. The crime is the same!
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Good story! I agree.
 
dreama said:
I guess that you are just a survivor. It's great that you have such a possitive attitude to life. (smile)

A lot of normal people don't have positive atitudes like this. It's not always what you've been dealt with, but wether you choose to look at what you HAVE got rather then what you haven't.
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i couldn't agree with you more, dreama!
 
Hear Again said:
byrdie,

first you say that you gave your 3 year old $1.00 or $2.00 to stop her from crying in the grocery store, then you say you didn't reward her for bad behavior. wasn't that exactly what you were doing by giving her money to make her stop crying?
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Re-read the post as it says: After that episode....

Byrdie714 said:
She was never rewarded for bad behavior. After that episode, I reminded her that if she was on her best behavior--she would get paid. Simple as that!

And.....it worked! She became a darling little princess after that.
Click to expand...
 
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