Parents are divorced, mom's bf won't accept me or my gf

[~SG~]

Yes. They say I'm being stupid and that I should just go home after class.

Oh and the college interpreters scheme with my fiancee's mom and believe her, so they treat her like she's stupid too (obviously in violation of the ADA), so they're not helping her either. (And I caught these interpreters lying to my fiancee on every meeting with her involved on this.)

Far out, that the worst people who working at college for not believing ya, other option is to look in white page phone book...to find an safe home places and contact them via relay... and explain them about your and your fiancee suituation family issues etc.

 

[deafmedicalpoet]

agreed

they sound like one of the worst people ever lived on Earth.

Agreed and life will be hell no matter what happens until me and my fiance get married.

Deaflinuxgeek

 

[Steel X]

Agreed and life will be hell no matter what happens until me and my fiance get married.

Deaflinuxgeek

True. Love is what important.

 

[deafmedicalpoet]

might be hard

Far out, that the worst people who working at college for not believing ya, other option is to look in white page phone book...to find an safe home places and contact them via relay... and explain them about your and your fiancee suituation family issues etc.

That might be difficult but we'll try....dont count on it working though!!

Deaflinuxgeek

 

[deafmedicalpoet]

Love is important always

True. Love is what important.

Oh yeah!!! Love is so important especially in a time like this


Deaflinuxgeek

 

[gnulinuxman]

Far out, that the worst people who working at college for not believing ya, other option is to look in white page phone book...to find an safe home places and contact them via relay... and explain them about your and your fiancee suituation family issues etc.

How would we go about this?

 

[gnulinuxman]

True. Love is what important.

Even if it's deaf/hearing couple love??? But we actually sign to each other every day we see each other most of the time, so, ...

 

[~SG~]

How would we go about this?

Im not from USA etc, but i googled around etc since ya mention your fiancee was abused by her family and yourself going thru it as well with your mom's boyfriend etc.. there an 24 hours crisis line number in there.

http://www.thebridgetohope.com/free_and_confidential_services.htm

Hopes that helps eh.

 

[gnulinuxman]

Im not from USA etc, but i googled around etc since ya mention your fiancee was abused by her family and yourself going thru it as well with your mom's boyfriend etc.. there an 24 hours crisis line number in there.

http://www.thebridgetohope.com/free_and_confidential_services.htm

Hopes that helps eh.

We tried it... ended up ultimately with same old "advice" to get a job and move out, which I am not able to do yet.

 

[coloravalanche]

I think it's cruel of you mother's b/f thinking you are abnormal for being engaged to your deaf financee...

At first, I thought you were deaf and I was gonna advised for you to apply for SSI or SSDI - you could receive them during at college but unfortunately you are hearing...

Let me ask you few questions...

1). Do you have drivers license?

2). Didnt you say that VR pays for your college?

3). Why dont you get videotape and put hidden to catch what your mother's b/f threating you? Then show it to your mom out of the blue...

4). Why dont you go ahead and apply at HUD housing authority,,,tell them you are student? I live under HUD and last year, when I didnt have enuff income...I didnt have to pay rent but only with the bills...

5). Why dont you call the HUD and ask for them to meet with you at college or your home or someplace at the park or whatever? or they can mail it to you?

6). Why not your financee apply for HUD right now? She is deaf so it should be no problem for her getting a place quickly...I suggest to apply for "Public Housing" program at HUD not Section 8...I am under public housing and when i applied...it took me 3 mths to move in!

I dont mean to sound so harsh but your friend is obviously lying to you that you both cant stay at his/her place because of HUD rules...I had friends stayed with me for temporary times...I didnt report to the HUD so it was my business...simple is not to go outside during day time walking around...use common sense..

You both can do it...you both can find a way...good luck and hope everything works out for you...

 

[Esbats]

I totally agreed with coloravalanche.. get the video tape to prove it.. even if you haven't got one.. asked your g/f.. or b/f.. to borrow it for little while,.. make sure it got remote control though..easy for you to do it..but do it a.s.a.p.. before it get worse.. I feel sorry for you. .. hope it doesn't affect your studying?..take care Esbats

 

[gnulinuxman]

I think it's cruel of you mother's b/f thinking you are abnormal for being engaged to your deaf financee...

He also thinks I'm too girly/sissy. (I don't know how to fix cars, I hate sports, most of my friends are female, I can't lift heavy things, etc. This is part of the reason I like having a cartoon girl in my avatar--I'm PROUD I fit the female stereotype more closely.)

At first, I thought you were deaf and I was gonna advised for you to apply for SSI or SSDI - you could receive them during at college but unfortunately you are hearing...

Yeah, it's both a benefit and a drawback. But I am autistic and have ADHD.

Let me ask you few questions...

OK

1). Do you have drivers license?

Yes, but the car isn't mine, and my mom's boyfriend said if I drive away, he'll destroy my stuff and call the police to have me arrested for stealing the car.

2). Didnt you say that VR pays for your college?

No, but they are directing my schooling (I'm confused myself about this)

3). Why dont you get videotape and put hidden to catch what your mother's b/f threating you? Then show it to your mom out of the blue...

I don't have access to a camera, but will an audio tape work? I have an audio tape recorder.

4). Why dont you go ahead and apply at HUD housing authority,,,tell them you are student? I live under HUD and last year, when I didnt have enuff income...I didnt have to pay rent but only with the bills...

I don't know how to do that.

5). Why dont you call the HUD and ask for them to meet with you at college or your home or someplace at the park or whatever? or they can mail it to you?

I am on an EXTREMELY strict schedule, with my mom's boyfriend monitoring the car with a GPS and I have strict times I can come and go. If I break any of them, I'm kicked out for good and stranded.

6). Why not your financee apply for HUD right now? She is deaf so it should be no problem for her getting a place quickly...I suggest to apply for "Public Housing" program at HUD not Section 8...I am under public housing and when i applied...it took me 3 mths to move in!

She is, but she's been waiting for MONTHS now. (I think more than 3.)

I dont mean to sound so harsh but your friend is obviously lying to you that you both cant stay at his/her place because of HUD rules...I had friends stayed with me for temporary times...I didnt report to the HUD so it was my business...simple is not to go outside during day time walking around...use common sense..

She has some serious psychological problems and is currently having surgery to correct them (and her CCLS (whatever that is) is monitoring the apartment currently).

You both can do it...you both can find a way...good luck and hope everything works out for you...

Thanks; I hope I answered your questions.

 

[coloravalanche]

He also thinks I'm too girly/sissy. (I don't know how to fix cars, I hate sports, most of my friends are female, I can't lift heavy things, etc. This is part of the reason I like having a cartoon girl in my avatar--I'm PROUD I fit the female stereotype more closely.)

You are not sissy! It is OK not to like sports or fix cars...this guy is weirdo!

Yes, but the car isn't mine, and my mom's boyfriend said if I drive away, he'll destroy my stuff and call the police to have me arrested for stealing the car.

This is ridiculous! Can't you talk with your mom alone and tell her that her boyfriend ISNT your father? Why dont you live with your real father?

I don't have access to a camera, but will an audio tape work? I have an audio tape recorder.

Try that...hope it works! Have you told your mom about the way he has been threatened you?

She is, but she's been waiting for MONTHS now. (I think more than 3.)

Great! Tell her to call the HUD and remind them that she really needs to move out soon because of abusive home...

I suggest for your girlfriend to let the HUD know that she wants two bedroom...it is the rules for 2 people to live in 2 bedrooms..not 1 bedroom for 2 people...or you can ask your girlfriend to help you to apply at HUD?

 

[GalaxyAngel]

I read whole thing.. Break my heart.
I've been ther experience in my past..
Okay. I'm willing open my heart for you everything details..

Deeper.. *exhales* okay.
When I got abused by my Adopt father and ran away have no place to live... Went to downtown and asking for help seek place to stay... The lady tells me go shelter.. I do not understand what is all about it.. Next day, I refused return home because I'm 16 yrs old.. and went to Deaf Agency ask for seek a help... Finally gave me info about Hostel youth shelter centre.. I went there.. I'm so very happy and secure safe place.. They did helped me goes through lot and got income support living by welfare and everything foods and clothes ... Provide me Bus Fare goes to school...

I never forget that place was so good helps me.. Thanked to Hostel youth shelter centre.. called "Under 21 youth Hostel" in Toronto, Ontario. Canada

*exhale* I'm okay now.. not easy for me bring my hell memories about my Adopt parent.

Anyway I encourge you GO ...
http://www.timeoutabuseshelter.com/
or
http://www.baddteddy.com/abuse/abuse_shelters_wisconson.html

That where near your home area or other town.. TRY GO
WHERE YOU NEED SAFE PLACE better than sorry you stay your mom's home around mom's bf there.. isn't good place for you stay stick w/it. You'll suffer more..
not good health for you.. Honestly..
Please listen me I suggest you DO IT.
I beg you do it.. pretty please..

 

[RainGurl]

Well I would get a job, most college students do live on their own or atleast with roomates. If your fiancee is able to work maybe the two of you can live together. You can share the finanical responsiblities of the household and what not. But seriousily you don't need that aggrivation and the abuse. Time to step up and do what is necessary. Pack your bags, get some support from those friends of yours and find a job atleast part time. Get a group of friends together and rent that way.

I see no other choice, but getting away from the situation. Yea, sure the police can get involved, that won't make "her" stop seeing him in any way. So you have no other choice than to leave and get a job to support yourself.

Sorry hun, but this is the real world. As much as they are wrong, and you are right. Things don't come to you easily.

Trust me, I was in a situation like you long time ago.
I had to start all over again. It was tough, but you know I got through it. You will to!

 

[Reba]

IMO:

1. He is just mom's boyfriend, not her husband, not your dad. He has no authority over you.

2. You are old enough to live on your own. If you really don't like the home situation, move out. Not easy, but possible.

3. If you decide to stay, then you have to accept the whole situation package deal. Just try to avoid getting into conversations with the bf.

4. If violence happens, then call the police.

 

[Reba]

... Unfortunately, until I finish college, I can't get out. I tried running away twice, but I got punished worse at home when they sent the cops after me. Both times they blamed it on my fiancee, not the real cause (my mom's boyfriend).

You are 19 years old. How can you "run away"? You are not a minor, so that is not "running away from home."

Don't say, "until I finish college, I can't get out." You can get out. You don't want to get out and support yourself. That's your choice. So really, you can't complain.

 

[Reba]

Yes, I'm in Wisconsin.

Unfortunately, I have no job (not allowed to get one), I live in the middle of NOWHERE (Muskego area), and the ONLY way for me to get anywhere is the car my mom makes me drive to school.

What do you mean you are "not allowed" to get a job?

 

[Reba]

He has run away with me twice and the 2nd time he ran away, his mom and her boyfriend threatened to throw his stuff out. he needs his meds and if he moves out there is no way he will be able to get his meds.

Why can't he get his meds if he moves out?

Why does he have "run away"? Why doesn't he just pack his stuff and move out?

 

[Reba]

Why don't you and your fiancee get married, and start a new life together? If you both work, you can survive. Also, sometimes there are more things available to married couples, such as low-income housing.