When are we allowed to let Hearing people join our culture and all.

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Sweetmind said:
Dont tell me that I dont know nothing since I have had been talking with CIer or Ex CIers s sides who explained it to me. Also I have showed the fact of Deaf girl with CI who complained there is no BSL from the start. Thats the problem the parents doesnt listen those Deaf children s needs or want d/Deaf chlidren to be happy. Thats very wrongdoing, parent whoever did this.

No more secretive. Thanks!

Sweetmind


Why is it that you have to continue to criticize parents who choose CI for their deaf children? and Why do you think that you know so much better on how to decide for their deaf children? Parents are given the moral and legal responsibility to make decisions on their children's behalf, This is not an issue where you should be making a value judgment upon and of course there will be some children who are going to be angry at their parents for whatever decisions they do make for them or how they were raised, but that what parents are for, we do what we feel is best for them and their future as well too...
 
Fragmenter said:
Man, I'm very paranoid and I'd shoot down anything that I feel is threatening. My bad.

I don't know if they'll accept my apology since I have very strong opinions.

Well, I have to swallow my pride and apologize for being an asscircle.

I accept your apology :hug:
 
Boult said:
Fragmenter, ease up she's good lady.. we should not be ganging on her and Angel.

Aww you're so sweet! :mrgreen:
 
^Angel^ said:
Why is it that you have to continue to criticize parents who choose CI for their deaf children? and Why do you think that you know so much better on how to decide for their deaf children? Parents are given the moral and legal responsibility to make decisions on their children's behalf, This is not an issue where you should be making a value judgment upon and of course there will be some children who are going to be angry at their parents for whatever decisions they do make for them or how they were raised, but that what parents are for, we do what we feel is best for them and their future as well too...


Now you are asking for it again.. Thats what I meant by this quote that I have posted it over and over. :repost:

It is one thing to allow a person to choose to use an auditory device, but I see that it is unfair to decide for any individual to have a surgery that changes their physical properties. Once a person is mature enough to decide to have a CI surgically implanted, the decision should be made. To have a parent/guardian etc.choose this for a child is ridiculous. Why should it be ok to force a person into a surgery that they may rely on for their entire life.

Once a child has become accustomed to these devices it is something that they expect to have for the rest of their life. If the device fails or does not continue to work in the same way for their entire life, then they no longer can use what they have been expected to rely on. This is totally unfair to any child or adult. If they have the choice to decide whether to use an auditory device or not then they can make that decision for themselves. It is wrong to force anyone to depend on something when naturally they are not going to have that. Children cannot make that decision. They should have the choice to decide on adapting their physical properties on their own. This should not take place unless they have been fully educated on ALL of the possibilities...positive and negative.

If a child relies on the auditory device and then it suddenly isn’t working anymore, then it is something that they have no choice but to have taken from them. These surgeries are not inexpensive. It takes money to maintain these devices and not all people are able to keep up with this. What happens when a child decides that they do not want to utilize this technology?

It is wrong to force a person to rely on something each day, when naturally they may be better off without a device being implanted into their bodies. Insurance does not cover a CI removal. If a person chooses that route then more power to them,but it is not an issue that should be decided by a person that will not have to live with it. The person that is getting a surgery of this type or any other surgery should be allowed to choose for themselves. It is something that will have impact, whether positive or negative, a person for the rest of their life.

By forcing an individual into a life altering procedure it is the same as saying you are not “good” enough the way that you were born. You must change physically for you to be accepted by the real world. Is this really the impression we want to make on deaf children.

It is a huge put down to deaf childrens true identity. People must have a choice, it is only fair! We should appreciate the differences in all people. If we were all the same, then the world would be a very boring place.

Therefore we have the right to maintain the status we were born with...people need to learn to accept that. Any adaptation that needs to be made should be made within the faultfinders, not the children. Acceptance is KEY! Need I say more?

"Tell the mothers I said, "Don't try to change your child; you are the adult, you bear the burden of change" - Harlan Lane Thats what it needs to get through your head.

Seeing as how there are more cons than pros to getting a CI, ( as such stated in other topics), It is more responsible to NOT implant a child. You dont need to hear to be alive. And if a d/Deaf child is not good enough for you then you need to reconsider your morals and prejudices. Like it, love it, or leave it alone.

Thank you! ;)
Sweetmind
 
Ok, then look at it this way SweetMind, would you allow your young child to get a tattoo all over her body even though she wants one?...
 
Cheri said:
Well, Thank-you! :hug: You have one of the strongest opinion, and what's more you're only 19 years old. Man you know so much! I'm impressed. :thumb:
:ty: I asked lots of questions and did a ton of research before I signed up for this forum. I still do that today...
 
This story may debunk hers but it doesn't matter how old the person is but implant device can be removed and go on without for a while like few years then get reimplanted again in same ear.
http://www.cici.org/vol17n2.html

and check this story out where there are some telling this parent not to seek out oral or ci: http://www.cici.org/vol16n4.html

check this others too:
http://www.cici.org/martin.html

this one who is successful deaf person who worked as CPA for Fed Energy Reg. Comm. for more than 20 yrs then later on get CI
http://www.cici.org/vol16n2.html
doesn't matter who is successful I applaud him for successful as deaf in tough field. but in the end he got CI.
After I got CI, i don't have to strain to speechread! I agree with him.
before I had to use paper and pen with whoever. now I don't.
 
Boult said:
This story may debunk hers but it doesn't matter how old the person is but implant device can be removed and go on without for a while like few years then get reimplanted again in same ear.
http://www.cici.org/vol17n2.html

and check this story out where there are some telling this parent not to seek out oral or ci: http://www.cici.org/vol16n4.html

check this others too:
http://www.cici.org/martin.html

this one who is successful deaf person who worked as CPA for Fed Energy Reg. Comm. for more than 20 yrs then later on get CI
http://www.cici.org/vol16n2.html
doesn't matter who is successful I applaud him for successful as deaf in tough field. but in the end he got CI.
After I got CI, i don't have to strain to speechread! I agree with him.
before I had to use paper and pen with whoever. now I don't.
CIAI is a CI organization. It isn't about Deaf Culture.
 
gnulinuxman said:
CIAI is a CI organization. It isn't about Deaf Culture.


The topic is about Deaf culture that we like to have hearing people who want to learn ASL and other deaf languages for many good reasons. We are happy to have them all along if they have a good positive attitude toward d/Deaf people. Also it helps for their hearing children who cant speak for many reasons, too. It s also help the parent who can educate their children about our different Deaf cultures in this society after all they can learn from us and the good books. They will adapt and accept the way who we are. Thats our diverse world as Unity! ;)

Thank you for point that out.
Sweetmind
 
Originally Posted by Cheri


I'm most certainly you are. Everyone wants best for their children, What is best anyways? We think we know what's best for our children, but we don't always make the right decision. I am a parent myself, Do I know I've made the best choice for my children? I dunno, at least I gave them life, I love them unconditional, that's what's most important.

:gpost: I has the same feeling as you.


Some of you know that I was in London for 9 days last month. I thought about hearing parents's posts here so I tested my Dad. I questioned my Dad about CI issues and how he feeling after discover that I'm deaf etc. (I know my parents found out I'm deaf when I was 1 year old).

Anyway, Dad told me that he would of implant me STRAIGHT WAY with CI after found out I'm deaf. I was like eh? and ask him why? He said that he like to whisper me. It look like that he only think himself, not learn to accept me... (?) To me, I feel that the parents do not give the best for their child but themselves after learn from my Dad. I thank Dad for wake me up and know now how parents feeling.

Dad said that he & my mom were upset after learn that I'm deaf and need to find out about my future etc. The doctor insured them to not worry about my future because deafies can lead normal life like hearing but can't hear anything. Doctor advised them to not wear HA on me until I'm 5 years old.... (That's doctor's opinion). Doctor positived my parents about my deafness... Many years later my Dad heard about CI and questioned doctor cons and pros about CI issues. Doctor want to examine me but Dad told him that I'm married and live in Germany. Doctor told my Dad in his opinion that I'm too old to have CI - it's best to have CI on young children and talk positive all the time to my Dad about CI. I was like eh?

My Dad told me that he suggest my mom to go class to learn sign language but mom reject and said that I have to learn oral and read lipread. (honestly, they never have time to learn me but got my one year young sister Sue to interpret for me all the time).

Anyway, I listen until he finish with his talk then I told my Dad that his description about doctor at my time and CI issues at present time sounds hypocrisy to me. Dad asked me why? I told him that every doctors insured the parents to not worry about deaf children's future etc... until new CI tech. comes.... the doctor said different and then positive CI issues. :ugh2:
 
Sweetmind? said:
Now you are asking for it again.. Thats what I meant by this quote that I have posted it over and over. :repost:

It is one thing to allow a person to choose to use an auditory device, but I see that it is unfair to decide for any individual to have a surgery that changes their physical properties. Once a person is mature enough to decide to have a CI surgically implanted, the decision should be made. To have a parent/guardian etc.choose this for a child is ridiculous.
No, it's called PARENTING!
Why should it be ok to force a person into a surgery that they may rely on for their entire life.
In order have the best possible benefit of today's technology.

Once a child has become accustomed to these devices it is something that they expect to have for the rest of their life. If the device fails or does not continue to work in the same way for their entire life, then they no longer can use what they have been expected to rely on. This is totally unfair to any child or adult.
No, it's unfair to withhold a child opportunities. When it does not work, as in some cases happens, then the child will be .... deaf. Nothing changed.
If they have the choice to decide whether to use an auditory device or not then they can make that decision for themselves. It is wrong to force anyone to depend on something when naturally they are not going to have that.
Nor are they naturally having circomsicion, not are mothers naturally giving birth by ceasarian...
Children cannot make that decision. They should have the choice to decide on adapting their physical properties on their own.
No, parents do that because they are parents and since they love the child they will do what they feel is in the best interest of the child.
This should not take place unless they have been fully educated on ALL of the possibilities...positive and negative.
And when your house in on fire, you can also think about all pro's and cons.... instead of acting!

If a child relies on the auditory device and then it suddenly isn’t working anymore, then it is something that they have no choice but to have taken from them. These surgeries are not inexpensive. It takes money to maintain these devices and not all people are able to keep up with this. What happens when a child decides that they do not want to utilize this technology?
It will stop using it and continues as deaf... at least it had a choice.

It is wrong to force a person to rely on something each day, when naturally they may be better off without a device being implanted into their bodies.
Naturally, people hear!
Insurance does not cover a CI removal. If a person chooses that route then more power to them,but it is not an issue that should be decided by a person that will not have to live with it. The person that is getting a surgery of this type or any other surgery should be allowed to choose for themselves. It is something that will have impact, whether positive or negative, a person for the rest of their life.
You mean like not having a CI also will have an impact. Positive and negative

By forcing an individual into a life altering procedure it is the same as saying you are not “good” enough the way that you were born. You must change physically for you to be accepted by the real world. Is this really the impression we want to make on deaf children.
That's the impression YOU give to these children. The parents love the child and want the best for them. YOU tell the children that they are not good enough. You cover it up in stories about the parents, but in fact, you think that these deaf Ci-children are inferior..... Well, newsflash, they are NOT.

It is a huge put down to deaf childrens true identity. People must have a choice, it is only fair! We should appreciate the differences in all people. If we were all the same, then the world would be a very boring place.
True identity... Born deaf, living in a hearing world with help of CI. What's wrong with that identity.
Deafness nowadays is becoming a choice. Identities of hoh/deaf has expanded to hoh/deaf/ci. Deal with it.


Therefore we have the right to maintain the status we were born with...people need to learn to accept that. Any adaptation that needs to be made should be made within the faultfinders, not the children. Acceptance is KEY! Need I say more?
No, you're on your way to Harlan Lane..... There he is...
"Tell the mothers I said, "Don't try to change your child; you are the adult, you bear the burden of change" - Harlan Lane Thats what it needs to get through your head.

Seeing as how there are more cons than pros to getting a CI, ( as such stated in other topics), It is more responsible to NOT implant a child. You dont need to hear to be alive. And if a d/Deaf child is not good enough for you then you need to reconsider your morals and prejudices. Like it, love it, or leave it alone.
Impressive interpretation of the topics and posts. And according to my list a deaf child with CI has far more pro's living with it's hearing parents than con's. I dare to say that also for a deaf child with CI living with deaf parents there are more pro's than con's.... Care to sum them up?

Thank you! ;)
Sweetmind
By the way..., Harlan Lane's quote is outdated after 20 years.
Definitely not Harlan Lane said:
Tell the mothers I said, "Help your child; you are the adult, you bear the burden of resposibility to give the child all the possibilities life can give!"
 
Liebling:-))) said:
.............................
Anyway, Dad told me that he would of implant me STRAIGHT WAY with CI after found out I'm deaf. I was like eh? and ask him why? He said that he like to whisper me. It look like that he only think himself, not learn to accept me... (?) To me, I feel that the parents do not give the best for their child but themselves after learn from my Dad. I thank Dad for wake me up and know now how parents feeling......
Liebling....

Putting words into feelings is not easy. Small nuances can make a huge difference.
I found that out when I said in a topic that "I want my daughter to hear." which more precisely should have been "For my daughter, I want my daughter to hear."
The first sentance had in my mind the fact that I want her to hear in order for her to be able to hear.

Even reading back, it is confusing.

But I'm sure you know the feeling that you really want something for your child. For example "I want that girl to like him because I want to see him happy." Is that a selfish wish? No... you want your child to experience something that you have experienced.

I cannot speak for your dad, and you seem to have a thourough discussion with him. But I have experienced that feelings that I experessed in words or text have been misunderstood. It happens very fast...
 
Why are we called "culture"??
We're all human being and I think all of us are the same even tho no one isn't perfect... We all learn from eachother one way another.... its kinda stupid to be called "deaf culture" in my own words... Everyone is the same.... If the person doesn't like it then too bad for them.... Remember we're all the same....

God Bless Everyone! :angel:
 
I think honestly that all parents need to implant there kids with Cochlear implant so the older they get the better they will know whats out in the real world... My mother would've gotten me implanted but I had enough hearing back then, so Im trying to get a CI as soon as I can... I find it great that all parents are implanting their childrens.... For those you think its wrong then thats your loss... parents want the BEST for their childrens!

God Bless You! :angel:
 
Cassbugs said:
Why are we called "culture"??
We're all human being and I think all of us are the same even tho no one isn't perfect... We all learn from eachother one way another.... its kinda stupid to be called "deaf culture" in my own words... Everyone is the same.... If the person doesn't like it then too bad for them.... Remember we're all the same....

God Bless Everyone! :angel:
It's human nature to divide people up in groups or cultures.. But also, people with similar experiences unite and from there define their own culture.
Just the way of life.
 
Cloggy said:
It's human nature to divide people up in groups or cultures.. But also, people with similar experiences unite and from there define their own culture.
Just the way of life.


Oh okay whatever you say bout that... I just don't see a point of having "deaf culture"... We're all normal and it doesn't matter rather you have experiences or not... we're all people.....No point of naming people
 
Personally, if a person wants a CI then fine and if the person does not want a CI then that is fine too. I supported a Deaf friend's decision to have CI before and I caught alots of hell for it. Just wait until you have a BTE hearing aid then you will understand. I agree the parents want the best for their children but I also think CI's are not for everybody.
 
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