Self-Esteem vs low self-esteem

[Reba]

...No, the scripture is the word of God. The authors who use God´s scriptures to translate their images on the bible. I have compare several bibles - the scriptures are all the same but author translate them differently.

God is the author of the Bible. Psychology is the study of the human mind and the way it works. God doesn't need to study the human mind. He created it! He knows the way it works.

Okay I respect your opinion. You beleive the authors who wrote the bible have psychologly skill? It´s hard to beleive since I learn from this thread that Christians don´t beleive in self-esteem.

As I wrote above, God created the human mind, so He knows more than every psychologist in the world.

Huh? Don´t you know about yourself and your feeling? Your description shows in your post here that you have a good and healthy esteem because you develop positive about God and Bible. Positive and Trust relate to good and healthy esteem.

My confidence is in Jesus Christ and His Word. My confidence is not in my self.

 

[Reba]

....God wants people to have good self-esteems to love yourself...I know in my heart that God wants people to have postive self-essteem, to love themselves....

I'm wondering if you have any verses to support that?

 

[Cheri]

It's NOT what Reba think. It's what she KNOWS through the scriptures...just like me. I know what she means. She is talkin' about people who likes to THINK ABOUT THEMSELVES instead of focusin' on God to grow spiritually.
Once a person accept Jesus Christ, this person will become a NEW person and the "old" self is gone. He TRANSFORMED this person to become His Image..HIS likeness from the inside. A brand new person through readin' the bible, prayin' daily and havin' a fellowship with brothers and sisters at church and so forth. When that happens, this person will BECOME more humble and have HUMILITY in heart with HIM. More meek and sincere.
God favors this person who is more humble rather than the person who is self-esteem ( to think about himself/herself rather than think about Jesus to rely on ).

James 4:10
"Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall exalt you."

That's what Reba means. I am here to explain. Don't hit me with your bat. lol !

I understand, a brand new person doesn't mean you will always be perfect because nobody cannot be perfect, We are all sinners. Why? Because we were born sinners. I wish that Eve and Adam never ate the fruit from the tree we wouldn't be sinners if they obey God, And the world wouldn't be the way it is now. I don't think of self-esteem that way of thinking about myself, I think of self-esteem as becoming a different person as a better person, to make me feel proud of myself that I've become a person that God would want me to be, not what Satan would want me to be like a person who is bitter, etc. It's okay to disagree with me, That's what debates are for.

 

[Reba]

Let me explain the example:

What I would love to hear positive things like this. - Positive self-esteem (good and healthy esteem).

Liebling - What do you think of my new hairstyle?
Person - It look good on you OR Color is too bright to my taste but I like your old hairstyle.
Liebling - Really? I appreciate for your honestly. OR True, I notice that those color is too bright to my skin.

What I would not like to hear negative things like this. - Bad/Low self-esteem

Liebling - What do you think of my new hairstyle?
Person - Ohhh you look lovely.
Liebling - Really? Thank you for like my new hairstyle...

Then later person told others how terrible my hairstyle... This is pathetic and 2 faces what I consider it as low esteem.

High self esteem

Liebling don´t bother to ask person what she or he think of her new hairstyle because Liebling like her new hairstyle and think her hairstyle is great on her.

Got it?

Yes, I got it.

The difference is, I have my confidence in Christ, not myself, so whatever people think about my hairstyle doesn't effect my confidence.

 

[Reba]

Welcome

Thank you and I know for long time that I have good self-esteem before I made a test today. wow I didnt know that I has high self-esteem... It make me feel proud.

Exactly.

 

[Reba]

Do not speak for all of us those who have high self-esteem. That's what you think. So, You're saying Liebling/or Mofo is so self-center doesn't think about others and doesn't thanked God for anything?

No, I did not say that.

... I've seen people proud that they change to become a better person to lead a positive life, Isn't that what God wants us to do?

No.
None of us is good enough thru our own strength. Only thru Jesus we can do all things. God wants us to surrender our own will and pride, and let the Holy Spirit control our actions. If we depend our own selves, we will fail.

Proverbs 16:18 "Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall."

 

[Maria]

I understand, a brand new person doesn't mean you will always be perfect because nobody cannot be perfect, We are all sinners. Why? Because we were born sinners. I wish that Eve and Adam never ate the fruit from the tree we wouldn't be sinners if they obey God, And the world wouldn't be the way it is now. I don't think of self-esteem that way of thinking about myself, I think of self-esteem as becoming a different person as a better person, to make me feel proud of myself that I've become a person that God would want me to be, not what Satan would want me to be like a person who is bitter, etc. It's okay to disagree with me, That's what debates are for.

But, we can try only through Jesus Christ. He has the power to change us through the faith. Pray and read the bible daily will do miracle. You will be amazed to see the result. I've been there and done that.

It was Satan ( serpent ) caused all this sin, not Adam and Eve. God already KNEW before sin started. He told Adam and Eve not to eat that fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. But, Satan ( serpent ) fooled Eve into thinkin' that she will be like God and will not die, if she ate that fruit.

The only problem is that Satan loves "self-esteem". He was very highly pride against God sayin' that he will exalt above than God. Satan wants to THINK of himself by focusin' himself aka "self-esteem". He wants God's power...but, nah - that's a no-no. tsk tsk Satan. Satan forgot the God made him as an angel. Satan needs more than spankin'.

I would suggest you to check what "self-esteem" means by usin' dictionary. It will tell you exactly what it means. It doesn't hurt to learn. It's ok for everyone to learn.

 

[Cheri]

I would suggest you to check what "self-esteem" means by usin' dictionary. It will tell you exactly what it means. It doesn't hurt to learn. It's ok for everyone to learn.

I do know what self-esteem means and I do not need someone telling me I have a wrong meaning of self-esteem. If you disagree with me that's fine, But I stand on what I believe what self-esteem means. Self-esteem to me does not mean negative at all. It's about yourself as a person describe who you are. I've already point out a lot of points about self-esteem.

 

[Momoftwo]

Hi CyberRed

Wow....ok...I have good self-esteem by natural. That's me...I'm always so friendly, very warm person, very sensitive, very happy (sure had bad mood or really upset by very rude people once a while - it happens), etc. God does not want me to have my good self-esteem????? In the self-esteem test, my score was 92% and that is high self-esteem. Is that "satan"??? Does God not want me to have this high self-esteem. I don't get it. That's why I said what kind of self-esteem you have is negative (low self-esteem and high self-esteem are negative) But I have very good self-esteem. That's why I don't understand.

Please help me understand this.

Many thanks!

Momoftwo

 

[Momoftwo]

self-esteem

n 1: a feeling of pride in yourself [syn: self-pride] 2: the quality of being worthy of esteem or respect; "it was beneath his dignity to cheat"; "showed his true dignity when under pressure"

So....does it mean that if you say "I have good self-esteem or high self-esteem" which is BAD???? If yes, is that because of "ego"?????

If yes, but what about me??? I can't help to have good self-esteem because I am very friendly, always smile to everyone, always very warm toward to people, big heart, caring, etc. I was born that way. Imagine that my two children are like me. Everyone said to me and my kids many times "You and your family really inspire me so much and you all are very very nice and very friendly, etc". They look at us and thought we are very special. Well, we can't help it. It's natural. I am not here to brag about myself and my family. I am here to try to understand what really self-esteem mean because the dictionary said dignity to cheat when under pressure. That's not me. So, if that's not the case, then what word is the right rather than saying "I have good self-esteem". What word?

I'm so sorry if my continue question frustrates you. Please forgive me. I do want to understand.

Warm Regards,
Momoftwo

 

[Maria]

Hi CyberRed

Wow....ok...I have good self-esteem by natural. That's me...I'm always so friendly, very warm person, very sensitive, very happy (sure had bad mood or really upset by very rude people once a while - it happens), etc. God does not want me to have my good self-esteem????? In the self-esteem test, my score was 92% and that is high self-esteem. Is that "satan"??? Does God not want me to have this high self-esteem. I don't get it. That's why I said what kind of self-esteem you have is negative (low self-esteem and high self-esteem are negative) But I have very good self-esteem. That's why I don't understand.

Please help me understand this.

Many thanks!

Momoftwo

Hi Momoftwo

I saw your self-esteem test in your post. I am not talkin' about negative or positive self-esteem.
It's the word "self-esteem" has its own different meanin'. It means to focus oneself more important than others. God wants His people to be humble, not focus on oneself more important than others. And, also God wants His people to think of others instead of oneself. Why worry about oneself what other people think ?

See these scriptures what God says about the sparrow:
Matthew 10:29-31
"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? and not one of them shall fall on the ground without your Father:but the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows."

Do you understand what these scriptures means ?

 

[Maria]

self-esteem

n 1: a feeling of pride in yourself [syn: self-pride] 2: the quality of being worthy of esteem or respect; "it was beneath his dignity to cheat"; "showed his true dignity when under pressure"

So....does it mean that if you say "I have good self-esteem or high self-esteem" which is BAD???? If yes, is that because of "ego"?????

If yes, but what about me??? I can't help to have good self-esteem because I am very friendly, always smile to everyone, always very warm toward to people, big heart, caring, etc. I was born that way. Imagine that my two children are like me. Everyone said to me and my kids many times "You and your family really inspire me so much and you all are very very nice and very friendly, etc". They look at us and thought we are very special. Well, we can't help it. It's natural. I am not here to brag about myself and my family. I am here to try to understand what really self-esteem mean because the dictionary said dignity to cheat when under pressure. That's not me. So, if that's not the case, then what word is the right rather than saying "I have good self-esteem". What word?

I'm so sorry if my continue question frustrates you. Please forgive me. I do want to understand.

Warm Regards,
Momoftwo

Ok, please allow me to explain a little bit.
You see I highlighted bold the words above ? Ok, it stated "pride".. that is sin to have that pride. Pride is the opposite to humble. God forbids pride. It's why Satan was kicked out from Heaven, because of his pride. Pride could be means "puffed up". That's vanity.

I hope it helps you to understand. I know you are a wonderful person with good conversation, but that words about "self-esteem" is somethin' else and it don't fit in Christ's profile.

 

[Momoftwo]

Hi CyberRed

Oh, wow....I got it!!!! Wow...your explanation is so crisp clear and I got your point. Thank you so much for your huge help!!!! No, I don't understand what this scripture means (Matthew 10:29-31). I just moved my bible upstairs in an half hour ago because my 12 1/2 year old daughter couldn't sleep because my 6 month old kitten had spayed today. My kitten, Daisy's stomach hurts. I have another kitten, 3 months old, Sunny. They are in my daughter's bedroom. Anyway, she wanted to see the scripture Levitius 19:31 about don't talk to the dead people (spirits). I told her and my son and my husband about this. They were so shocked. She is soooo afraid because she does not want to go to hell. I told her not to worry because I already prayed to God to clean us all. We did communicate with the spirits and orbs from what we learned from tv. So, that's why I brought my bible to her and let her read it again. She and I talked about this. She felt better because I told her that I prayed to God to clean us. I will read it when I find the time.

Anyway,

Then, it means that I must not say "I have good self-esteem" because using self-esteem is the wrong word. right?? Just be humble because it does not matter if you are weak in that area but if you allow God to help you then make you a better person...right??

I'm tired so I'm going to bed now and watch tv in my room for a little bit. I love to watch HGTV - decorate homes, remodeling, etc....I love it!! It's fun to watch. My husband always watches tv in the bed and he always falls alseep very fast. hahaha....anyway, I would love to stay here and keep reading the posts. But it's getting late because I have to get up really early tmw morning for kids' school... I hate getting up so early!! hahaha

Talk to you and others later!

Thanks again so much for your clear explanation!

Momoftwo

 

[Maria]

Momoftwo,

Right. God favors humble. He wants people not to worry about things. Ok, I will explain what Matthew 10:29-31 means. It means He will always be there with you where ever you are goin'. He knows the numbers of your hair, right ? Can you count how many your hair is ? I can't, because of too many hair and it will probably take me months and months to find the answer how many hair I have. Same thing with sand. Countless sand and He knows the number of sand as well. So, do not worry about things and let God take care of it. Just have faith in Him.

Remodelin' ? Gee - that's what I am doin' in my house. It's hard work. Thanks for sharin' with me and everyone here. Welcome anytime.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

It's okay to disagree with me, That's what debates are for.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

No self-esteem?

I found very interesting link about "no self-esteem" since some of you don't beleive self-esteem because I has no idea that we have no self-esteem but low self-esteem... It look like that "no self-esteem" is the worst than "low self-esteem". Interesting, isn't it? :jaw:

Happiness and Self-Esteem

Why is self-esteem important to your overall mental health?

http://www.drkenner.com/self-esteem.htm

Well, imagine the opposite. Imagine having no self-esteem. Imagine that you don't regard yourself with any esteem, that you either lie and cheat and steal, or you were always playing the role of the doormat, doing for everybody else and never doing anything for yourself. What type of mental health would you predict?

Take both cases. Take the first case. You lie, you cheat, and you steal. You have no self-esteem. You can't esteem yourself, hold yourself in high regard, if you are making a mess of your character, your personality, by your choice. What emotion would you have toward yourself? In private you're going to pretend it's self righteous: ``I deserve this stuff that I stole and I can tell lies if I want to. Everybody is corrupt." People who are corrupt like to see the whole world as corrupt because they don't want to recognize they have choice, free will. But when they look in a psychological mirror, they will feel self-disgust. Now, that case doesn't lead to mental health. That leads to emotional and behavioral problems. It leads to feeling hatred and envy toward anyone else who leads their life in a healthy manner. So you don't want to go that first route of lying, cheating, or stealing. You want to treat your own subconscious, your own mind, your own character, well.

What about the second route, the more common route? ``I don't want anything for myself. I just want to do for everyone else. There's no self. You're humble. If you accomplish something great in your life you say ``Oh shucks, it was just luck." You keep putting yourself down. You won't esteem yourself. You won't value yourself. And after a while you believe it. You believe that you are not a value to yourself. And after a while you start to feel bitter. You feel depressed because there is nothing for you in life. You're doing for everybody else and that's supposed to bring you pleasure; you see your husband getting on with his life because you're a slave to him, you're a slave to your kids, you're a slave to your boss, you're a slave to everybody and you'll never accept anything in trade from them. You treat yourself as worthless and then you wonder why other people treat you as worthless and why you don't have any self-esteem. It's a recipe for depression turning into a bitterness.

So many times in therapy, and I'm sure therapists around the country would agree, I hear ``You know I've spent my whole life doing for everybody else. I'm sick of it. I want something for myself, but I feel so guilty when I say that. I don't want to be selfish!" You need some selfishness, not only some selfishness, you need a lot of self-valuing, respecting your mind, building yourself into a healthy individual. This is not a me-only person. People usually equate selfishness with that and that's wrong. It's essential to value yourself, to be selfish.

Answering the question ``Why is self esteem important to your mental health", because self-valuing is the source of mental health. It's based on your own choices and your own actions. You earn your own mental health, so work towards that end. You want to get a sense of self pride, not because everyone pats you on the back with unconditional love and tells you you're wonderful while you've done nothing to earn it, but because you've made the choices and have taken the actions in your life that have earned you an invaluable sense of self-esteem.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

No thank to "no self-esteem".

This description about “no self-esteem” sound that it’s not low esteem, I had but no esteem… :jaw: I didn’t know about this until I learn about this today…

This description reminds me of my childhood in the past.

My parent bullied me with name-calling etc. They developed me into no self-esteem.

Few examples of many things:

I started to work at kitchen, The Green Man Pub to earn my pocket money during school holiday when I was 11 years old. I’m happy with my first wage that I can afford to buy anything what I like. My one year young sister watched me bring new clothes to home from work and complaint to my mom. My mom said to me in disgust way: “I’m ashamed to have a selfish daughter. You spend money about YOURSELF, never thought about me and your siblings. You have no grateful what I got a job for you at The Green Man Pub. You has no appreciate etc. etc. (True, she got a job for me because I ask for it to earn myself since I know my mom struggle with money to buy nice things for us). It made me guilt more and more – thought that I’m a bad person. I do everything for them because I want their attention how good person I am. I bought foods for them, candies for my siblings, etc. It is still not enough for them and being bullied by them more and more for years… I was nervous breakdown thru feel guilt all the time. Horrible, bitter and depression feeling, I tell you. It’s teacher, school counselor, therapies who helped me to improve my self-esteem. It takes long to improve my self-esteem… I was shock after read this link today and realized that I have no self-esteem, not low self-esteem what I thought. I learn a lot from them to positive my self-esteem. I’m REALLY glad that I have good self-esteem but I have ups and downs self-esteem sometimes but it still good to me.

My MIL kept saying to me… “Think about YOU, not do for everyone”… YOU and YOUR OWN FEELING…. My hubby said the same things, too.

Anyway, we stayed at my sister & her family’s place for month vacation in 1992.
We took our nephew & niece to shopping to buy anything what they deserve. We came home from shopping and got anger from my sister for spoils her children and inference her “discipline”. I apologized to her. My hubby is mad with me because I done nothing wrong because it’s our money we can spend on her children whatever we like. Then my sister asked me for money to buy a new kettle because her electricity kettle was just blow up. My hubby firm say NO because we already support them with foods etc. which it’s enough. My sister expected everyone feel sorry for her over that kettle. My Dad & his 2nd wife came to accuse me as selfish and then said that we have everything in Germany (house, car, work, hairstyle, holiday etc.) what my sister don’t have. I was like after saw real color about my family is PATHETIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, it’s pathetic!!! It’s them who bullied my esteem in the past… I won’t let them negative my esteem EVER again. I said to them: “Money BELONGS to ME and MY hubby, that’s money come from our FUCKING working hard”…Don’t dare to label me as selfish person because I alway KNOW that I am a good person and working person, what that sister don’t…. I don’t smoke, drink and use drugs… What should I FUCKING feed sister’s lazy ass for? It’s MY and MY hubby’s money, it’s OUR decision what we do with our money, not you… I don’t care what you think about me as selfish person because I see WHY NOT!!!! Yes of course I’m selfish because it’s my money… yes my my my money… They were shock and lost their word for a while and then said to me… “Yes, yes, yes, I know know know, it’s your money, you earn from your work hard.

My Dad said to me how much proud of me and regret what he did to me in the past for a first time in 2000… sooo pathetic he said… I him and told him to forget the past. I think he feel bad after see what my sister did is no esteem… drugs… my 10 year younger sister – low esteem and co-dependent – have no friends – unsatisfied life – have problem with her relationships – give up good jobs dozen of times. She is only 32 years old and lonely. My brother is also co-dependant, too but he had successful business man – unmarried because he is too frightened to marry. One woman, he ever love in his life had left him broke heart because she don’t want to waste her time after together for 4 years.

I THANK therapies but the therapies said that they thank me, too for seek their help.

No self-esteem? Oh noooooooooo… soooo horribleeeee…. I can’t image anyone who don’t believe in self-esteem… ***goose pump***

I can image how Iranians feel… They have no self-esteem because they must do EVERYTHING what the master says because of bible... The bible says that Men are master as God…

 

[Liebling:-)))]

People with high "self-esteem" are not more powerful than God. They don't trust God for their strength and support. They don't depend on God. They don't care about other people. They just focus on themselves. They don't thank and praise God for His blessings. They thank and praise themselves. They brag "I did everything for myself." They just live for their own satisfaction.

Not true, we never say that we don't trust God.

Remember that God do a lot for people until Jesus came to earth and gave us strength and support to take care ourselves and then died for our sins. It's last God do for us after Jesus died was 2,005 years ago. It's people who take care themselves to strength and support. God loves us no matter what because he knows we beleive him. We focus ourselves to find out what/how/where we can search etc.

Self-esteem is a philosophy without God. I believe in God. I trust God to save me, take care of me, and lead me. I don't trust my own self-esteem to do those things.

God did not do for you but yourself... It's Jesus who give us strength, support and preparation before he died for us.

Do God teach you how to sign language?
No, you learn it YOURSELF.

Do God choose a man to marry you?
No, you choose a man, you love and marry.

Do God decide the name for your children?
No, it's you and your hubby who decide to pick which name, you both like to name your children.

You has a strength to fight to have the rights... example about tree near your house in my other thread...




Bottom: I'm not saying that I don't beleive in God because I know God and Jesus are existed. That's what I mean is we develop ourselves with our own strength.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Do not speak for all of us those who have high self-esteem. That's what you think. So, You're saying Liebling/or Mofo is so self-center doesn't think about others and doesn't thanked God for anything? Since she has really good self-esteem which can be high. I wouldn't say that about people. When people who have low-self-esteem, It's up to them to change to be a better person, God cannot do that for us, We (us) have to change our attitude, God doesn't like it when people are bitter, God doesn't like it when people who doesn't think about others helping others. We have to do that on our own to show God we are good people that we have hearts. I have not seen one person brag about their own satisfaction, I've seen people proud that they change to become a better person to lead a positive life, Isn't that what God wants us to do? Those who have bitter hearts are the people, doesn't care about others, always angry at the world is what Satan likes. Thanks for your time in reading this. Have a good day now.

You say this the best!

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Cheri

I am humble and plain and simple.
Momoftwo

Yes, I could be humble sometimes but I has to limit it.