Self-Esteem vs low self-esteem

I know what you mean. Like I mentioned in my previous post about "emotions". Same thing. :)

Ok, I think that's all I am discussin' here for now. People, it's my POV and I respect yours. Thanks for sharin' your opinions/POV and experiences. I enjoyed readin' your posts.

Have a good day, posters. ;)
 
Originally Posted by CyberRed
For example : I am not worryin' about what YOU are wearin' if you wear somethin' NICER or SEXY than mine. There's no need to competite or to think BETTER THAN you or whatsoever. Just be humble as is. I don't need to try to be LIKE SOMEONE to look better, or to dress better, or what they have. Gee - I think that's silly. Just be modest.
FYI, I did wear a sweat pants that has 3 or 4 holes ... and, I am still wearin' it while takin' my dogs out for walk. I am not ashamed. Why worry about my pants ? *chuckles* I knew there is time that I will buy a new one. There's no rush. I remember I wear my "Nike" tennis shoes and I walked in them for 3 years from West Coast until Alaska - gee - my Nike tennis shoes' bottoms were soo worn out and yet I still wore them, until in the fall it started rainin' -- Ahhh it was about time to buy a new ones.
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Cheri´s correct about self-esteem.

Yes I´m the same as you because you are happy and sataisfy way what you are... I don´t care what anyone think what I wear because I feel like what I am, not worry about someone who wear better than me. Why should I try to be like them because I´m happy and sataisfy what I am?

My hair is long and nature curly/wavy - I went to hairdress to have my hair done twice a year. I only do myself to trim my hair is forehead and bottom of my long hair. Why should I worry about other´s modest hair because I love my hair?

As what you say here yourself that you has a good self-esteem because you don´t care what anyone think what you wear because you like what you are.
 
Liebling:-))) said:
Momoftwo,
I respect your opinion.

I only want to tell you what the counsellor said is correct about you and your husband.
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Liebling,

You have NOT met me and my husband in person. You had NO right to speak like that to me. Guess what? My husband disagreed with the counselor. My husband said that my self-esteem is very good.

How would YOU feel if I say to you, "I agree with your counselor that you do have low self-esteem." even though I never met you in person.

Please careful for what you said.

Momoftwo
 
Liebling:-))) said:
I respect your opinion but Jesus died at 2,005 years ago. God and Jesus are not there for us but give us strength to cope our life. I thank Jesus to come to earth for preparation and gave people the strength before he died for our sins.
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Yes, Jesus died for our sins almost 2,000 years ago but don't forget that He also was resurrected and is alive now. He is not gone.

Perhaps you feel that "God and Jesus are not there for us" but you can speak for yourself only. Many of other people (myself included) feel that Jesus is here for us.
 
>>Guess what? My husband disagreed with the counselor. My husband said that my self-esteem is very good.<<


but your husband is NOT professionally trained to be able to assess who has what esteem, is he?
While I am not neccessarily saying the counsellor was right, I do think he most likely was more qualified to make an assesment than your husband...?



Fuzzy
 
CyberRed, I must profusely apologize for not having enough time to read the whole thing, but I think what matters anyway is this:

""My answer is that good self-esteem is proper for the Christian, and that, in fact, it is necessary that the Christian have a high self-esteem. ""

that would agree with what I wrote earlier about low self-esteem and "diseased soul".

I have vague feeling that what you call Christ- or God- esteem is simply striving to being a good Christian thus following Jesus' teaching as much as it possible, but IMO it is not exactly the same thing.

I thank you too for interesting discussion.
Fuzzy
 
^Angel^ said:
... Suppose IF one of your child got killed, and died, as a mother, you will feel so lost, so sad, and feeling a bit anger knowing that your child is gone, etc....So what do you do? when your own self-esteem is crashed, etc, You look up to GOD, you pray, you talk to Him, you read your bible, etc, God lift up all the pains you're feeling inside, etc...
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If my child was killed, yes, I would feel lost, sad, and angry, but that has nothing to do with self-esteem. The only way that could effect my self-esteem is if I was somehow responsible for my child's death. Self-esteem means being proud of yourself. What would my child's death have to do with my pride? Self-esteem would say, "I don't deserve having my child die!" See, self-esteem means "it's all about ME!"


There are also some people out there who has low or unhealthy self-esteem, they end up killing themsevles all because they think the pains will go away or thinking they have no will to live or go on with the life they're living....
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No, it is the opposite. People kill themselves because they focus too much on their own pain and problems. They are actually selfish because they think, "I want to stop MY pain. I don't care if my suicide breaks the hearts of my parents, spouse, children, friends. The only thing important is MY feelings."
 
Audiofuzzy said:
>>Guess what? My husband disagreed with the counselor. My husband said that my self-esteem is very good.<<


but your husband is NOT professionally trained to be able to assess who has what esteem, is he?
While I am not neccessarily saying the counsellor was right, I do think he most likely was more qualified to make an assesment than your husband...?



Fuzzy
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He knows me very very well.
 
>>He knows me very very well.<<

Yeah, well, that is probably true, but him not being professional psychologist his idea of self esteem might be different from the real professional point of view.

Fuzzy
 
Momoftwo said:
Liebling,

You have NOT met me and my husband in person. You had NO right to speak like that to me. Guess what? My husband disagreed with the counselor. My husband said that my self-esteem is very good.

How would YOU feel if I say to you, "I agree with your counselor that you do have low self-esteem." even though I never met you in person.

Please careful for what you said.

Momoftwo
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Huh? I already said that "I respect your opinion" in first place and then answer your post saying that I'm agree with counsellor.

I only said what I think because you told us what counsellor said about you and your hubby. You already show yourself here.

Like what Audiofuzzy said that your husband is not professionally to understand what kind of esteem we have but counsellor because counsellor has qualified to have his/her knowledge about you and your husband.

How would YOU feel if I say to you, "I agree with your counselor that you do have low self-esteem." even though I never met you in person.
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Of course I would LOVE to hear what counselor says about my self esteem because I want to know about this and want to have them to give me tips how to improve my self-esteem. I see why not. I have to ACCEPT the fact what the counsellor or anyone think about me.

I appreciate counsellor's for saying that I have low self-esteem because I want their honest opinion and then have their help how to improve my self-esteem... I accept the fact that I has NO self-esteem to low self-esteem in the past and thank counsellor to change and improve my self-esteem.

I can't see the sense why you are upset over that low self-esteem? You really don't need to be worry what anyone think about your self-esteem. All what you know from counsellor then get them to tell you how to improve your self-esteem only if you REALLY want. I appreciate counsellor's advice when I were you because I want to know more about myself.




Yeah, well, that is probably true, but him not being professional psychologist his idea of self esteem might be different from the real professional point of view.

Fuzzy
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Very true.
 
Reba said:
If my child was killed, yes, I would feel lost, sad, and angry, but that has nothing to do with self-esteem. The only way that could effect my self-esteem is if I was somehow responsible for my child's death. Self-esteem means being proud of yourself. What would my child's death have to do with my pride? Self-esteem would say, "I don't deserve having my child die!" See, self-esteem means "it's all about ME!"
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To me, self-esteem is your own personal feelings, it doesn't always apply to being " proud" or " pride " maybe to you but not to me.....not in the way you're thinking....



No, it is the opposite. People kill themselves because they focus too much on their own pain and problems. They are actually selfish because they think, "I want to stop MY pain. I don't care if my suicide breaks the hearts of my parents, spouse, children, friends. The only thing important is MY feelings."
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YOU don't know what it like to be in their shoes, it may be easy for you to say all those things above yet you don't know what it like.....I love my grandfather very much, and yes I was really sad and mad at him for ending his own life I wish he could have told someone etc maybe someone could have helped him etc, only if people like him would talk about their feelings instead of hold them all inside and let it built up to the point where they want to end their life, my friend from school killed himself too, and I don't think of it as being selfish, but more to the point where I felt helpless by not knowing something was wrong....So you and I see things differently when it comes to people who wants to kill themselves....Maybe you don't have much of a pity for those who do so, but to me I DO and I wanted to help them in any way I can....I'm not going to say those things you said above cause I know it won't help the situation any bit when someone decide to do that....I've done it b4 myself when I was younger and It wasn't like what you've said above not caring about others etc...

Even through you and I don't agree alot of things, but at least I respect your viewpoint.... :)

I rather not to discuss this anymore cause it gets the point of no where when it comes to discussing about self-esteem.....Have a great day now!
 
Christ-esteem? hmmm.....Jesus wouldn't go around grossip about someone behind their back, nor He would cuss or insult someone either....or spend 4 years trying hurt someone by getting others involved or to lie to cover the entire story...

If someone say they believe in Christ-esteem, make sure you're really following God 100% ....

Just my two cents worth :-/
 
Liebling-

I've said it to you already so I will not discuss about this because it wastes my time.

Momoftwo:)
 
CyberRed said:
Hi Momoftwo :aw: :hug:

Here's the link I would like for you to go to :

CHRIST ESTEEM
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0890817847/002-0925969-5183255?v=glance&n=283155

( Click on the image and it will take you there to read what's inside the book...it gives you an example what these book is all about before purchasin'. I hope it helps... better than my explanation. lol )
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Hi CyberRed:wave:

Yesterday, I went to the bookstore, Borders and I asked the lady for help me to find the book and she said sorry we don't have it. I will go to a different bookstore today in another town. Thanks so much for your suggestion about the book. By the way, you and Reba are so amazed!!!! I thank you and Reba for your time and patience with everyone on this message board. I know it is very difficult to understand what really self-esteem and christian-esteem really mean. Most people that I've known have "low"self-esteem but have learned but for me I have not learned until after my mother's death and it changed so much because my mother protected me a lot so this is why I have not learned how to overcome and improve. I think it is normal for people to have low self-esteem because it is what it is supposed to have them to learn - some are early and some are late - mine is late. I don't think about myself that much - just little but I think about other people a lot like I want to see people to be happy, I worry about other people like that. That's me because I have a big heart that I care about other people so much like help the poor. So, anyway I hope that the other bookstore has that book...if not, then I will need to order it thru online.

Thanks so much!!:)
Momoftwo
 
Reba said:
Yes, Jesus died for our sins almost 2,000 years ago but don't forget that He also was resurrected and is alive now. He is not gone.
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Where is Jesus? Because I need him and his help.


Perhaps you feel that "God and Jesus are not there for us" but you can speak for yourself only. Many of other people (myself included) feel that Jesus is here for us.
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Should I pray God and Jesus EVERYTIME to beg them to give me anything what I need? No, because I know Jesus is DEAD and live in heaven and watch us proud how/what we cope our life without their help/support. They would not like us to do EVERYTHING for them and their favor but worry our family life and cope our life.


I know my question sound stupid :Oops:

 
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Reba said:
If my child was killed, yes, I would feel lost, sad, and angry, but that has nothing to do with self-esteem.
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Yes, it's do with self-esteem because you has a feeling. You feel low after lost your love one.

The only way that could effect my self-esteem is if I was somehow responsible for my child's death. Self-esteem means being proud of yourself. What would my child's death have to do with my pride? Self-esteem would say, "I don't deserve having my child die!" See, self-esteem means "it's all about ME!"
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Yes, I know what you mean. It's normal for people feeling like this sometimes after lost their love one. Example about my good friend who lost her husband to heart stroke last July. I have good patience with her and be good listen to her. She often said that she should not go off to mother for lunch after row with her husband due his aggressive mood. He died unexpectly 30 minutes after she left. It's soooo bad for her because she wasn't realize why his aggressive comes is PAIN in his body - He told her to go hell because he doesn't feel well... I comfort her a lot as I can... I told her to not feel bad because her husband also didn't know why he got aggressive himself.... we chat a lot... we went to shopping together a lot. She has a very low self-esteem. I am with her and her pain. It will takes her long long long time to improve her self-esteem.


Your post sound that you has NO feeling how the people suffer their pain. I has a feeling for people's pain.

Would you consider my friend as pride person? Oh dear... I can't beleive this.



No, it is the opposite. People kill themselves because they focus too much on their own pain and problems. They are actually selfish because they think, "I want to stop MY pain. I don't care if my suicide breaks the hearts of my parents, spouse, children, friends. The only thing important is MY feelings."
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No it's the opposite... The people who have low self-esteem end to kill themselves because they NEED someone to talk with... They suffer their pain... No to very low self-esteem people doesn't bother to focus themselves too much because they don't care about themselves - kill themselves to have their peaceful and no suffer pain.

Would you consider my friend as selfish person who suffer depression, tempt sucide, broke person after lose her loving husband after married for 29 years? She often said how happy she is to have me as her friend. I told her to promise me to not tempt to kill herself but consider her 19 years old son.

Would you consider me as selfish person to focus to find out why the children's misbehavior come from because I'm interesting to know about them?

Your post sound that you has no feeling and have no pity fot them or what?
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Momoftwo said:
Hi CyberRed:wave:

Yesterday, I went to the bookstore, Borders and I asked the lady for help me to find the book and she said sorry we don't have it. I will go to a different bookstore today in another town. Thanks so much for your suggestion about the book. By the way, you and Reba are so amazed!!!! I thank you and Reba for your time and patience with everyone on this message board. I know it is very difficult to understand what really self-esteem and christian-esteem really mean. Most people that I've known have "low"self-esteem but have learned but for me I have not learned until after my mother's death and it changed so much because my mother protected me a lot so this is why I have not learned how to overcome and improve. I think it is normal for people to have low self-esteem because it is what it is supposed to have them to learn - some are early and some are late - mine is late. I don't think about myself that much - just little but I think about other people a lot like I want to see people to be happy, I worry about other people like that. That's me because I have a big heart that I care about other people so much like help the poor. So, anyway I hope that the other bookstore has that book...if not, then I will need to order it thru online.

Thanks so much!!:)
Momoftwo
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:wave: Hi Momoftwo,

Yep, I did tried to check at Noble & Barnes - they told me they do not have it and said it may take about a week or 2 for the book to arrive. I like to purchase it ready on the shelves on the same day. :lol: Yeah, that would be a good idea to order thru online, if there isn't any book store that have it. I also suggest you to try "Experiencin' God" book... that book is VERY GOOD book. You can also type "Experiencing God" in search box and it will take you there. These book is very encouragin' book - it talks about how to communicate with God in relationship. Very beautiful book ! I love that book.
God wants to have a relationship with everyone so much. :)

You are very much welcome ! :hug:

( Lieblin', my apologizes if, my post is off topic. )
 
I had to go back to the beginning of the thread...

Liebling darling was talking about KIDS, SELF-ESTEEM and BONDING...nothing about being a Christian, Christ-esteem, the Bible or personal adult problems...as I thought so in the first place.

I know sometimes posts seem too long to read all the way through, and we "skim" over them - and that's where the problem starts.

When we read "between the lines" we often imagine that others are talking about us, and then the accusations start...and darts go flying back and forth.

That is a habit we have to stop.

A big clue to this thread... the forum it is in. It's in the PARENTING forum, not ON-TOPIC DEBATES, not THE CLOSET, not GENERAL CHAT... but a very specific forum geared towards people with children.

I think it's time we stop assigning blame to everyone, calm down, and then start talking about self-esteem in kids... I'd like to know more about this and how this could pertain to my goddaughter.

Please stop making this a personal issue. Let's get back on track. You want personal, go to General Chat or On-Topic Debates. Maybe even Relationships. Our personal problems has no place here, period.
 
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