Self-Esteem vs low self-esteem

^Angel^ said:
Why don't you tell me what God's plan on selt esteem? You're saying you don't have any self esteem?.... Do you love yourself? are you happy? etc?..
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Angel~

To answer to your question.....

Oh yes, I love myself very, very much and I am very, very happy. My husband, my children and I are a very, very happy family. All of my siblings and their spouses and their children are very happy. It's just when being not respect or rude or disagree or like that then it caused argue. I have NO idea about self-esteem. It's just that I feel that when people tell others "You have low self-esteem or high self-esteem" is a very negative one. Right now, my mind is "fog" because I still don't know why this specific of self-esteem is negative like out of question like it is not the answer. I don't know what word is the right or something. Only God knows.

It is better to say like "I know I am very sensitive" rather than I have low self-esteem because it is a huge negative. And another about high....like "I know I have high self-esteem because I am not sensitive, I don't have problem in something" which is negative.

So, this word itself self-esteem is not the answer like erase the word "self-esteem".

Momoftwo:)
 
Momoftwo;

:wave:

Self-esteem is not negative, It describe who you are, what you have done in your life either negative or positive. ;)

When you went to the counselor, You told them how you feel correct? How you feel frustrated with your siblings, and then your mother died seven years ago, You were depressed that is low self esteem, Your counselor is correct. It's not bad It just that you have to feel better about yourself, change yourself into a better person. I know that your mother died would feel like something is ripped from your heart. Your mother does not want you to sorrow over her death, she would want you to lead your life in a positive direction and be happy. Now, that you have gotten close to God and you saw your mother in your dreams that made you feel better about yourself, that is good self-esteem. You change from low self-esteem to high self-esteem which that is very good. There is nothing negative about self-esteem. It just tells you what you need to do in order to have a good self-esteem, which means stop being angry, upset, feeling that you hate yourself. ;)
 
I see that some Christian people saying in this thread that they don't believe in self-esteem...

I'll tell you what I believe.....

There are some people out there who has low self-esteem which some had abortion, drop-out of school, teen pregnancy to rape, robbery, and poverty can be solved if only we help people to esteem themselves more highly to love themselves more and more and to realize their great self-worth...

The Bible tells us: "Let each esteem others better than themselves" (Philippians 2:3); "Not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith."(Romans 12:3) The opposite of God's way of thinking is to regard oneself more highly than we ought and become puffed up with pride which is usually the end result of one finding ways to boost their self-esteem....

“When Jesus was asked what the greatest moral commandment was, he replied by quoting two commands from the Old Testament. "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbour as yourself'" (Matthew 22:37-39). Many have understood this second commandment as including a command to love ourselves. However, this is a misreading of what it actually says. We are not commanded to love our neighbour and ourselves, but as ourselves. In other words, the statement naturally assumes that we have a certain desire for our own well-being, and the command is to have an equal concern for the well-being of others.

when we try to feel good about ourselves based on who we are, what we've done, what we own. A healthy self-image is seeing yourself as God sees you; no more and no less. True self-esteem is knowing who you are.... That kind of identity comes from knowing whom you belong to, that you are safe, that you are loved, that you matter....The more of the real thing you have, the less you think about how good you are.

"The stronger you get, the more you become aware of your weaknesses.
The better you look, the less you care who's looking...The more self-esteem you have, the less self-conscious you are”.

“The kind of self-esteem we have been talking about is one where you know you have been totally forgiven and fully accepted by the God who planned your existence. It involves a growing awareness of your infinite value to him. It is a self-esteem that enables you to accept unashamedly your strengths and weaknesses, and your capabilities. It includes an awareness that God is transforming you from the inside out and the assurance that one day you will be everything that God has planned and all that you could desire. It invites the challenge that, now being comfortable with yourself, you can now focus your attention on God's purpose for your life and how best you can do your bit to meet the many needs that you will find in the world around you”.

Our success in life is dependent on our having a positive self-esteem. According to this thinking, success in school, making friends, having a happy marriage, and doing well on our jobs all depend on having a positive self-image. If having a positive self-image is so important, we should expect the Bible to have something to say about it. After all, 2 Peter 1:3 tells us that God "has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness." Surely, if our self-image is so crucial to our well-being, God must have taught on this critical subject somewhere in His revealed Word. In reality, this is one of the more frequently taught subjects in the Bible. The Scriptures teach principles related to having a positive self-esteem from Genesis to Revelation. There are a multitude of passages that could be used in studying this subject, but one simple method is to examine the examples of people in the Bible who achieved positive self-esteem and notice the benefit they received from it.....

I taught my three children to have good and postive self-esteem and I don't see why others say it is wrong to believe in having a good self-esteem.....I still don't get it....
 
Why I don't believe in "self-esteem" is:
Because, it means to exalt oneself...meanin' to make oneself to feel good about oneself ie "self-centered" or let's say it means "self-deification" ( deifyin' oneself ).

Self-esteem is also means : Idolatry of the feelin' and the body ie "self-servin'".. or let's say it also means that to make oneself a "god".

It's why I don't believe in "self-esteem".

There's 2 words I like to spell it out that I BELIEVE in: Christ-Esteem, NOT Self-Esteem.

Caution : Satan often uses truth - just a little distorted, in order to
deceive even the well-meanin'.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SELF-ESTEEM:

Main Entry: self-es·teem
Pronunciation: -&-'stEm
Function: noun
1 : a confidence and satisfaction in oneself : SELF-RESPECT
2 : SELF-CONCEIT

SELF-RESPECT:

self-respect
One entry found for self-respect.

Main Entry: self-re·spect
Pronunciation: -ri-'spekt
Function: noun
1 : a proper respect for oneself as a human being
2 : regard for one's own standing or position

SELF-CONCEIT:

Main Entry: self-con·ceit
Pronunciation: -k&n-'sEt
Function: noun
: an exaggerated opinion of one's own qualities or abilities : VANITY
- self-con·ceit·ed /-'sE-t&d/ adjective

Cheri,

I read your post. Yes, I know what this thread is all about. But, that word itself "Self-Esteem" is somethin' that I don't believe in. It has a different meanin'. I believe in "Christ-Esteem". That's MY belief. That's all there is to it. :)

Philippines 2:3
"[doing] nothing through faction or through vainglory, but in lowliness of mind each counting other better than himself;...."
 
CyberRed,:)

Wow!! Your post about self-esteem, self-respect, etc and Christ-esteem was SO POWERFUL. I'm so speechless!! Wow!! It makes a lot sense!!

Thank you so much!!:)

Momoftwo:)
 
Reba said:
Psychologists are authors of websites.
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Yes, Psychologists are authors of websites, books etc because they have psychologly skills like what I said before that German and American Psychologly websites are the same.

Lama Yeshe is author of a Buddhism article.
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I´m stlll learning about Buddhism. I´m not an expert about Buddhism but it can tells that they also have psychologly skill, too. Please correct if I am mistake or what.

God is author of the Bible.
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No, the scripture is the word of God. The authors who use God´s scriptures to translate their images on the bible. I have compare several bibles - the scriptures are all the same but author translate them differently.

I will always trust what God authors more than what man authors. :)
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Okay I respect your opinion. You beleive the authors who wrote the bible have psychologly skill? It´s hard to beleive since I learn from this thread that Christians don´t beleive in self-esteem. :shock:

"Believe in" means "trust". I believe in/trust Jesus Christ. I don't believe in/don't trust the philosophy that emphasizes "self-esteem."
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Huh? Don´t you know about yourself and your feeling? Your description shows in your post here that you have a good and healthy esteem because you develop positive about God and Bible. Positive and Trust relate to good and healthy esteem.
 
Self Esteem
What is a healthy self image?

In American culture, high self-esteem is seen as being the basis for career success and good relationships with other people.

Feeling good about oneself is presented as a highly desirable goal that is worth sacrificing for.

Low self-esteem is obviously undesirable.

If our focus is on our own failures and inadequacies, we'll be immobilized by self-pity or self-hatred.

High self-esteem is equally undesirable, however, and that can be seen in its effects.

High self-esteem means comparing your value to others' and finding yourself superior. It makes us arrogant, selfish, and difficult to be with.

Families are torn apart as the members work to feel better about themselves, ignoring the cost.

Recognizing the undesirability of too high or too low an opinion of ourselves, many of us try for a middle ground. Unfortunately, it's an unstable position.

We oscillate between feeling good about ourselves and feeling bad. Our successes elevate our self-esteem, and our failures (or sometimes others' successes) lower it. It's a roller-coaster ride.

If high self-esteem isn't good, low self-esteem isn't good, and middling self-esteem is impossible, what are we to do?

We need to get off the roller-coaster altogether. We need to stop trying to determine our own worth. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others.

We are not in a position to judge our own value — or anyone else's.

We can't see ourselves or others accurately. Lives are far too complicated, and we are far too biased — whether for or against ourselves.

What I think about myself really has no meaning at all — and it changes from day to day anyway.

What matters is who I actually am, who I am in the eyes of the One who created me.

It's His view of me that matters, and in His eyes I'm unique, irreplaceable, and deeply loved. You are too.

Knowing that God values you gives you absolute, unshakable value. It gives you a stable, healthy esteem for yourself and for others equally.

But how can we know that God values us?

How can you know that He values you, in particular?

You must seek Him out: when you sense His presence, you'll know His love.

Pure love is God's trademark.

http://www.runningempty.org/esteem.html
 
Ok, Lieblin' ....

What's YOUR definition of Self-Esteem ?
 
Oh God.....

I don't think you understand what self-esteem means....

Santa wants people to have low self-esteems means negitive, do bad things in their lives....God wants people to have good self-esteems to love yourself and to love others and to love HIM, to do good and postive things in your life....

There are two different self-esteems meanings...If you say you don't believe in self-esteems that means you don't have no self-esteems as you don't love yourself, love others or love God etc...

Self-esteems means the kind of identity comes from knowing whom you belong to, that you are safe, that you are loved, that you matter....The more of the real thing you have, the less you think about how good you are... God wants everyone to have a good and postive self-esteems not highly, low or negitive self-esteem....

I gave up, I'm tired of debates about this, it's getting to the point of nowhere....I respect for those of you for what you believe, but don't tell us we are wrong for what we believe....I know in my heart that God wants people to have postive self-essteem, to love themselves, to love their children , to love others and to love HIM!!....That's all I'm going to say .....

Btw, great thread Liebling, I'm sorry that I'm not going to debates anymore to this, it not worth it, and I'm tired too heh....

You guys have a good week... be nice to eachothers!!! :bye:
 
Hi Cheri:) :wave:

You said,
"you hate yourself"
--------------------------------------------------------

No, I never hate myself. I always love myself. That's why I'm ALWAYS very happy person all in my life UNTIL my mother died and I noticed things were different. It was a VERY short period of time - very tiny problem. Yes, I was very sad for my Mother and of course my Dad. Yes, I was angry - why angry because I didn't understand the meaningful life and why it happened and what for? No, I was not depressed. Just sad, angry and frustrated.

Yes, I am very sensitive and the counselor said that I have low self-esteem. I was like ugh? I don't agree with her completely. It's just me of who I really am of being very sensitive. My two children are very sensitive. My husband is very sensitive. Being very sensitive means like when someone who hurts by divorced or someone who is very poor like we are feeling very badly for people who are very poor, no money, no food, etc. That's what I mean -that's who we are of being very sensitive - we really care about other people, we tend to worry about other people and of course ourselves. It's concerned situation. So....that's why I was surprised to hear what the counselor said to me "You have low self-esteem because you are very sensitive".

Being depressed means stay in one room all day and do nothing. Me...no I was never depressed because I was never stayed in one room. I always had so much things to do with the kids, house, activities, school, church, family trips, etc. Yes, I was very sad and very angry for a very short period of time due to my mother's death and wanted to know if there was God. I was desparate to find out about God. Ahhh, now God is real, I am very happy and I am back to normal and am learning from the bible. Bible has a lottttttttttt of informations and that's why it is so overwhelming to me. I am very very slow in learning from the bible.:)

Momoftwo:)
 
Let me explain the example:

What I would love to hear positive things like this. - Positive self-esteem (good and healthy esteem).

Liebling - What do you think of my new hairstyle?
Person - It look good on you OR Color is too bright to my taste but I like your old hairstyle.
Liebling - Really? I appreciate for your honestly. OR True, I notice that those color is too bright to my skin.


What I would not like to hear negative things like this. - Bad/Low self-esteem

Liebling - What do you think of my new hairstyle?
Person - Ohhh you look lovely.
Liebling - Really? Thank you for like my new hairstyle...

Then later person told others how terrible my hairstyle... This is pathetic and 2 faces what I consider it as low esteem.

High self esteem

Liebling don´t bother to ask person what she or he think of her new hairstyle because Liebling like her new hairstyle and think her hairstyle is great on her.


Got it?
 
^Angel^ said:
I gave up, I'm tired of debates about this, it's getting to the point of nowhere....I respect for those of you for what you believe, but don't tell us we are wrong for what we believe....I know in my heart that God wants people to have postive self-essteem, to love themselves, to love their children , to love others and to love HIM!!....That's all I'm going to say .....

Btw, great thread Liebling, I'm sorry that I'm not going to debates anymore to this, it not worth it, and I'm tired too heh....

You guys have a good week... be nice to eachothers!!! :bye:
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Don´t worry about others, ^Angel^ :hug: Come and share your good and positive posts here. I appreciate your very good posts here. You can debate with me or others because we all understand what´s form of self-esteem is.
 
Liebling,:)

My score is 92%. Extremely well!! What is 8% that needs to improve?
It's my SHY!:) I know why because I interact with hearing people all the times. But I am not shy when I am with deaf people and people who know sign language. I was nervous when I interacted with hearing people because of my speech skills and I read their lips so that makes me not relax. It's hard though!:)

It's interesting.:) But remember that this is not 100% accurate.:)
But it's interesting though.

Thank you.:)

Momoftwo:)
 
mlkshkgrl said:
I have very low self esteem. It's pretty depressing. I don't see why some people are saying good self esteem is bad. I wish I had it. Low self esteem is very lonely. It makes you bitter and guarded. And sometimes it makes you wonder why you're here and if you're going to make it through to the next day. I don't think that God wants anyone to feel like that. And as far as those kids at that school, I don't believe that was caused from having self esteem. When most people act out like that its because they are so miserable in their life that they have to bring pain in someone else's just to feel better about themselves. So if those acts are caused by any type of self esteem it would be low self esteem.
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First of all I thank you for share your experience with us here. I know how you feel because I had been through myself in the past. I thank therapies/school/cousellor to improve my self esteem.

It´s okay to have ups and downs in your feeling sometimes but not low self-esteem all the time because it make worst.
How about hobbies? Do you have hobby? If not, why can´t you go to evening class to find out yourself what you really like? You can meet new people there. You are young which it´s not late for you to develop your self-esteem. Do that right now is better than late. It´s important to know that you feel worth yourself.

If you think you might have low self-esteem, try to test your self-esteem.. check link in my previous post about self-esteem test to find out yourself which question you feel then you will find out which question make you unhappy then positive it. Someone, you trust may help you with some ideas how to develop your self-esteem?

Make a list of the stuff what you can do good (hobbies, sports, etc.) If you have nobody to develop your talent skill... Go to counsellor if you really want the help for yourself and your children´s sake.

I hope you don´t mind me to suggest you something here.
 
^Angel^ said:
I was looking up for some more web sites on self-esteem and this one caught my eyes which I would like to share it with the rest of you....Cause I'm going thru this myself as a parents and I'm glad to know I'm not alone in this....
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:thumb:


Raising well-behaved children is not easy.
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Very True


I do not need to pick anything in your posts because I´m agree everything on your post here.

That´s exactly what I did with my children is share our respects. I make positive discipline on my children and of course listen their talk and their feeling, then I will know more about their way which its easier for me discipline them in positive way. All what I beleive in is develop their positive self-esteem (good/healthy). I see nothing wrong if my children have high and good self-esteem, it means is they are proud what they did it successful.
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Cheri said:
This is not about "God" Cyber red It's about "self-esteem" Everyone has self-esteem rather bad or good. Self-esteem is about who you really are, it's about self confidence, feelings, emotions. It's important to have good feelings to have a good self-esteem. It has nothing to do with God or whatever you may think, because I think you don't understand what "self-esteem" really means. self-esteem is not about being perfect, it's about being positive lead your life in a positive direction, teaching your children to lead the right way, set their goals. God gave us a choice to live our life, am I correct? So we live our life how we want to live our lives, so self-esteem is a big part of each person's life. Why don't you make a list of passions, qualities and values that you have done in your life and the presents, those are self-esteems. It makes your whole life easy to lead if you do positive things, say positive things, that is called high self-esteem. Understood? ;)
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:werd:

Why can´t you (people) try to take self-esteem test?
 
^Angel^ said:
I gave up, I'm tired of debates about this, it's getting to the point of nowhere....I respect for those of you for what you believe, but don't tell us we are wrong for what we believe....I know in my heart that God wants people to have postive self-essteem, to love themselves, to love their children , to love others and to love HIM!!....That's all I'm going to say .....

Btw, great thread Liebling, I'm sorry that I'm not going to debates anymore to this, it not worth it, and I'm tired too heh....

You guys have a good week... be nice to eachothers!!! :bye:
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Yep I agree, It's like talking to a wall with them and you're correct about God would want everyone to have good self-esteem even positive ones. I'm out too, Thanks for sharing your thread with us Libeling. :hug:

And, Mofo I did not meant that you hate yourself I was only giving an example of some of low self-esteem generally I was not directly talking about you. I wanted to clear that up. ;)
 
Cheri said:
Yep I agree, It's like talking to a wall with them and you're correct about God would want everyone to have good self-esteem even positive ones. I'm out too, Thanks for sharing your thread with us Libeling. :hug:

And, Mofo I did not meant that you hate yourself I was only giving an example of some of low self-esteem generally I was not directly talking about you. I wanted to clear that up. ;)
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*sigh* I know. If they don´t beleive then let them...

It would be great to have you to share your debate with us because we all know what form of self-esteem is.
 
Momoftwo,

What Cheri said about low esteem is correct.

I remember few of your posts on your threads.

http://www.alldeaf.com/showpost.php?p=398655&postcount=24

http://www.alldeaf.com/showpost.php?p=404887&postcount=29


Yes, counsellor is right about your self-esteem. It´s normal to have ups and downs feeling like this but low esteem all the time is not okay.

It´s normal that you got low esteem after lost your beloved one for a while but you already stated how much happy you are with your family. It sounds that you have positive self-esteem as what your test shown prefect.

Well the counsellor claimed that your husband has high self-esteem. What kind of job your hubby has? Is he happy and sataisfy with his job? Do he positive his family life - do something with your house like re-modelling, or whatever...? Happy to support his family life? He think his family are wonderful? He knows he´s happy and satisfy? movaite about his future with you? He has good feeling? If all of my question is correct, then he has high and positive esteem, not low esteem.

Why you think your hubby has low esteem as you? Is he bitter man or talk negative things with you and about future? No hobby? Nagging about stress?

I really don´t understand because you claimed that you, your hubby & children have low esteem but the test shown that you have good esteem. It look like that you didnt know much about self-esteem. I would suggest you to read those link. I don´t understand because you claimed that you are senstive as your hubby & children - good self-esteem huh? It shows that you has no senstive. :dunno:

http://www.uc.edu/psc/sh/SH_Self-esteem.htm
 
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