It's A Parents Decision

[Hwy99]

The problem is, though - even though this topic has been beaten to death, time and time again, years and years over, the fact remains that so many people are willing to JUDGE parents by what they do and how they parent, when in reality its not their choice. Nobody should tell a parent how to raise their child, so long as they are not doing anything that will endanger their health. The kind of reactions seen here, just as already stated, are the reason so many parents are terrified of getting involved in the Deaf world. Can you imagine, just IMAGINE, trying to do what you deem best for your child, working together with your child, trying to ensure they are healthy, happy, and well rounded, only to meet members of the Deaf world and be attacked for doing what they believed with all their heart was beneficial for their child/ren?
And quite often the reason the parents are attacked can be something as simple as "I don't like CI's and therefore nobody should ever use them." (just one example of MANY that have been given on this forum.)

Why can't people say "Its not MY child, and therefore I will support a parent's right to do what they believe to be in his/her best interest instead of trying to nose my way into their lives and dictate the way they should live." ? Is that such a hard thing to do? You don't see the parents of the deaf children going out into the Deaf world and telling THEM how to live. Why can't it be the same both ways?

.....what about how the child felt/think about it?

 

[Boult]

The problem is, though - even though this topic has been beaten to death, time and time again, years and years over, the fact remains that so many people are willing to JUDGE parents by what they do and how they parent, when in reality its not their choice. Nobody should tell a parent how to raise their child, so long as they are not doing anything that will endanger their health. The kind of reactions seen here, just as already stated, are the reason so many parents are terrified of getting involved in the Deaf world. Can you imagine, just IMAGINE, trying to do what you deem best for your child, working together with your child, trying to ensure they are healthy, happy, and well rounded, only to meet members of the Deaf world and be attacked for doing what they believed with all their heart was beneficial for their child/ren?
And quite often the reason the parents are attacked can be something as simple as "I don't like CI's and therefore nobody should ever use them." (just one example of MANY that have been given on this forum.)

Why can't people say "Its not MY child, and therefore I will support a parent's right to do what they believe to be in his/her best interest instead of trying to nose my way into their lives and dictate the way they should live." ? Is that such a hard thing to do? You don't see the parents of the deaf children going out into the Deaf world and telling THEM how to live. Why can't it be the same both ways?

+1

 

[kayla123]

You stats on kids graduating are either made up or outdated. And here's the problem that the deaf posters see in your attitude "I would have made every effort to learn sign alot sooner if I had noticed her oral language failing her." That's one big "if." Sign is not an option simply because oral language has failed. That attitude is the very reasont hat deaf children all over the US that have hearing parents are language deprived. And a language deprived child in the mainstream WILL NOT receive a better education. She will get ignored and fall further and further behind. Then they end up at the deaf school in need of so much remedial work that is is virtually impossible to catch them up. When they don't test out at the proper levels, all of a sudden its the deaf school's fault for not having educated them properly.

All I can to a parent who persists in that attitude is "Good luck, because you are sure as hell gonna need it."

My stats are not outdated nor are made up, i just learned of them last week. Just because you chose a different route with your son does not mean that other choices are wrong. You did what you felt was best for your son and so did i. You need to stop making assumptions about everyone elses kids and how they will do in school. I've seen you mention over and over again how the deaf culture helped you raise your son and became his family. My daughter has a big family too but the difference is that my daughters family loves her UNCONDITIONALLY. I cannot say the same for your sons family. Lets just say for example your son chose to get a CI and decided to speak more and sign less, it would be a different story then would'nt it? They would shun him out would'nt they? I've read many posts about that sort of stuff. Luckily my daughter won't have that problem if she decided to stop using her CI. She could grow horns for all they care and they would love her just the same. I don't need any luck thank you. You need to get over yourself and stop thinking that you are right all the time because this may come as a shock to you but your not.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

So a deaf child can't learn other people? Wrong. Look at those deaf people raise with no CI around this Deaf forum.

Right!!! Look at me, I raise with no CI... I doing well to acheive my family life and deal with hearing people well as long as they are patience with me. If they are not patience with me then is their ignorant.

You can't expect me to know ALLLL of the schools in the world. New York, Riversdale, Fremont, Washington, Oregon is all I know the most about, but I do know there is more schools than that, but I don't know about them much.

Cloggy, I want to remind you that it´s not just deaf school but hearing school as well!!!!! It´s parent´s responsible to pick right school for their deaf and hearing children.

 

[Hwy99]

Right!!! Look at me, I raise with no CI... I doing well to acheive my family life and deal with hearing people well as long as they are patience with me. If they are not patience with me then is their ignorant.

YupP! They are just being ignorants.


Cloggy, I want to remind you that it´s not just deaf school but hearing school as well!!!!! It´s parent´s responsible to pick right school for their deaf and hearing children.

Yeah ur right, have anyone hear about Oregon's schools? Not the deaf, the public. They are very terrible, even the teachers decide to quit because of loss income. I work as janitor, and I never see any buildings that are very good condition, nor the new.

 

[rick48]

My stats are not outdated nor are made up, i just learned of them last week. Just because you chose a different route with your son does not mean that other choices are wrong. You did what you felt was best for your son and so did i. You need to stop making assumptions about everyone elses kids and how they will do in school. I've seen you mention over and over again how the deaf culture helped you raise your son and became his family. My daughter has a big family too but the difference is that my daughters family loves her UNCONDITIONALLY. I cannot say the same for your sons family. Lets just say for example your son chose to get a CI and decided to speak more and sign less, it would be a different story then would'nt it? They would shun him out would'nt they? I've read many posts about that sort of stuff. Luckily my daughter won't have that problem if she decided to stop using her CI. She could grow horns for all they care and they would love her just the same. I don't need any luck thank you. You need to get over yourself and stop thinking that you are right all the time because this may come as a shock to you but your not.

Kayla,

Fantastic post!
No, you don't need any luck but your daughter is lucky to have you as her Mom.
Happy Mother's Day!

Rick

PS Your statistics are not wrong either!

 

[Franz K]

My own experience

Here it is, FWIW.

I was born hoh in my left ear, deaf in the right ear. My hearing in the left ear was fading fast from the time I was a baby. I had eight surgeries between the time I was a baby and the age of 8, and these stabilized my hearing enough for me to do well in a mainstream school, play guitar, and now I'm working on my master's degree at Hopkins. If my parents hadn't made these medical choices for me, I wouldn't be here.

I've paid a price for being part of the hearing world. I know that. I've had to deal with isolation, discrimination, and all of that. As a kid I thought I was a broken hearie, and that's about the worst way a deaf child can feel. Doesn't mean I was an unhappy kid, I just didn't accept who I was.

At the same time, I feel very thankful for the opportunities I've had. I don't want to give up being deaf, I just want to be able to communicate with 99% of the world. How does this apply to the whole CI/mainstream debate? Well, we need to give our kids what will give them the best opportunity we can. I don't have the answer for what that is-- it's complicated. I don't know what I'd decide if my child is deaf. Part of me would be proud and excited, part of me would have a big dilemma on my hands.

For all the hearing parents out there, there's something really important to consider if you're mainstreaming a CI kid. You don't want to raise your kid to be a broken hearie, someone who needs to be fixed up, because that will come back to haunt him or her. Your child is not just your average hearing kid. Your child is an exceptional deaf person who is using an amazing technology to get opportunities that she or he wouldn't otherwise.

As a mainstreamed kid I always felt like I was missing something. I was proud to overcome obstacles, but I was ashamed of being deaf. I was ashamed of my speech, to miss out on conversations, to be made fun of. Yeah, a lot of CI kids are doing way better than I ever did hearing-wise, with better speech, etc., but he or she is still deaf.

What can make a mainstreamed deaf kid feel he or she is really special? ASL, knowing about deaf culture, realizing that deaf doesn't mean broken. This should be a really important part of a mainstreamed education, but it's swept under the rug. In a hearing world, what a deaf kid hears comes up as a measuring stick, and it shouldn't.

Whether it's meant to or not, there's an underlying message sent with going through the CI regimen and mainstreaming a deaf kid.

More of my own experience:
I got this technology because I didn't hear right.
I got speech therapy because I didn't talk right.
I got in trouble because I didn't behave right.
When I was a kid, I once asked an audiologist when my hearing was going to get better, and when I was going to be normal.

WTF? I had fabulous parents. They're a big part of what got me to this point. And they didn't know what to do about this or understand this. They didn't know any deaf people. They had hearing educators, hearing doctors, and hearing experts giving them advice.

If you're a hearing parent with deaf kids, i don't really feel I have a right to tell you whether that kid should be oral or ASL, CI or not. But if you raise a a deaf kid as if he is hearing, and never educate him about deaf culture, and the measuring stick is always how well he hears and how he scores against his hearing peers... well, there's a pretty good likelihood that's going to create some issues down the road.

There's no reason a deaf/hoh child shouldn't be proud.

I began learning ASL in my early twenties. Deaf culture isn't the biggest thing in my life, but it's an important part of my life. And in terms of my cultural identity, it's the #1 way I identify myself. It's a no-brainer. It's certainly way better than feeling like a broken hearie that just doesn't measure up.

 

[rick48]

Franz,

Great post, great insights.
Can I ask you if you knew or had other deaf kids as friends growing up? Apart from school did you ever socialize with other deaf kids?
Thanks,
Rick

 

[Hwy99]

Here it is, FWIW.

I was born hoh in my left ear, deaf in the right ear. My hearing in the left ear was fading fast from the time I was a baby. I had eight surgeries between the time I was a baby and the age of 8, and these stabilized my hearing enough for me to do well in a mainstream school, play guitar, and now I'm working on my master's degree at Hopkins. If my parents hadn't made these medical choices for me, I wouldn't be here.

I've paid a price for being part of the hearing world. I know that. I've had to deal with isolation, discrimination, and all of that. As a kid I thought I was a broken hearie, and that's about the worst way a deaf child can feel. Doesn't mean I was an unhappy kid, I just didn't accept who I was.

At the same time, I feel very thankful for the opportunities I've had. I don't want to give up being deaf, I just want to be able to communicate with 99% of the world. How does this apply to the whole CI/mainstream debate? Well, we need to give our kids what will give them the best opportunity we can. I don't have the answer for what that is-- it's complicated. I don't know what I'd decide if my child is deaf. Part of me would be proud and excited, part of me would have a big dilemma on my hands.

For all the hearing parents out there, there's something really important to consider if you're mainstreaming a CI kid. You don't want to raise your kid to be a broken hearie, someone who needs to be fixed up, because that will come back to haunt him or her. Your child is not just your average hearing kid. Your child is an exceptional deaf person who is using an amazing technology to get opportunities that she or he wouldn't otherwise.

As a mainstreamed kid I always felt like I was missing something. I was proud to overcome obstacles, but I was ashamed of being deaf. I was ashamed of my speech, to miss out on conversations, to be made fun of. Yeah, a lot of CI kids are doing way better than I ever did hearing-wise, with better speech, etc., but he or she is still deaf.

What can make a mainstreamed deaf kid feel he or she is really special? ASL, knowing about deaf culture, realizing that deaf doesn't mean broken. This should be a really important part of a mainstreamed education, but it's swept under the rug. In a hearing world, what a deaf kid hears comes up as a measuring stick, and it shouldn't.

Whether it's meant to or not, there's an underlying message sent with going through the CI regimen and mainstreaming a deaf kid.

More of my own experience:
I got this technology because I didn't hear right.
I got speech therapy because I didn't talk right.
I got in trouble because I didn't behave right.
When I was a kid, I once asked an audiologist when my hearing was going to get better, and when I was going to be normal.

WTF? I had fabulous parents. They're a big part of what got me to this point. And they didn't know what to do about this or understand this. They didn't know any deaf people. They had hearing educators, hearing doctors, and hearing experts giving them advice.

If you're a hearing parent with deaf kids, i don't really feel I have a right to tell you whether that kid should be oral or ASL, CI or not. But if you raise a a deaf kid as if he is hearing, and never educate him about deaf culture, and the measuring stick is always how well he hears and how he scores against his hearing peers... well, there's a pretty good likelihood that's going to create some issues down the road.

There's no reason a deaf/hoh child shouldn't be proud.

I began learning ASL in my early twenties. Deaf culture isn't the biggest thing in my life, but it's an important part of my life. And in terms of my cultural identity, it's the #1 way I identify myself. It's a no-brainer. It's certainly way better than feeling like a broken hearie that just doesn't measure up.

Good posting, and good POV.

And I am really with you about this:


There's no reason a deaf/hoh child shouldn't be proud.

 

[deafdyke]

Nobody should tell a parent how to raise their child, so long as they are not doing anything that will endanger their health

Does that include MENTAL health? Thing is..........even with a lot of the superstar types, or the ones who REALLY thrive in mainstream, they do tend to have a lot of mental health issues. Not things like sceinzopheria or bipolar, which are mostly genetic (with a touch of nurture) based . Not everyone does, but MANY oral/mainstreamed dhh (and otherwise disabled kids) have significent mental health issues, like depression, low self esteem, friendship and relationship isssues as well as others.
I gotta say..........I was mainstreamed to the MAX. I remember thinking that I was the only kid in the entire world who had to wear hearing aids. I was teased about my voice CONSTATLY. There are still a lot of people who think I'm MR b/c of the way I talk. B/c of the emphasis on what I couldn't do well, I developed pretty awful self esteem.......I always felt like I didn't fit in. I do see SOME people bashing on methods.......but I also see a lot MORE people trying to offer their views on what a hearing family's dhh kid may be going through. A lot of times, oralism and mainstreaming are presented as some sort of wonderful glorious utopia with NO downsides. Yes, oral skills rock, yes there are upsides to mainstreaming.........but it's not all peaches n' cream. I really wish someone had told MY parents about the possibilty that maybe even if I did OK mainstreamed early on, it would probaly get harder.....I wish someone had told my parents that they didn't have to do oral only with me. Maybe then, I'd have better self esteem, might have gotten better grades in school (instead of being lumped in with the "Ummmm who's President Bush?" retards that seem to be legion in resource rooms) have better social skills and so on and so on.

 

[rick48]

Thing is..........even with a lot of the superstar types, or the ones who REALLY thrive in mainstream, they do tend to have a lot of mental health issues."

Do you have any facts to back up that opinion?


"I do see SOME people bashing on methods"

Other than the oral only route, what other methods have been bashed on this forum?



"A lot of times, oralism and mainstreaming are presented as some sort of wonderful glorious utopia with NO downsides."


True, but the same is done with ASL and Deaf Culture. It seems to be more of a factor of the methodolgy chosen by the poster.


"Yes, oral skills rock, yes there are upsides to mainstreaming.........but it's not all peaches n' cream."


What choice is there that is all peaches n' cream?
Rick

 

[kayla123]

Here it is, FWIW.

I was born hoh in my left ear, deaf in the right ear. My hearing in the left ear was fading fast from the time I was a baby. I had eight surgeries between the time I was a baby and the age of 8, and these stabilized my hearing enough for me to do well in a mainstream school, play guitar, and now I'm working on my master's degree at Hopkins. If my parents hadn't made these medical choices for me, I wouldn't be here.

I've paid a price for being part of the hearing world. I know that. I've had to deal with isolation, discrimination, and all of that. As a kid I thought I was a broken hearie, and that's about the worst way a deaf child can feel. Doesn't mean I was an unhappy kid, I just didn't accept who I was.

At the same time, I feel very thankful for the opportunities I've had. I don't want to give up being deaf, I just want to be able to communicate with 99% of the world. How does this apply to the whole CI/mainstream debate? Well, we need to give our kids what will give them the best opportunity we can. I don't have the answer for what that is-- it's complicated. I don't know what I'd decide if my child is deaf. Part of me would be proud and excited, part of me would have a big dilemma on my hands.

For all the hearing parents out there, there's something really important to consider if you're mainstreaming a CI kid. You don't want to raise your kid to be a broken hearie, someone who needs to be fixed up, because that will come back to haunt him or her. Your child is not just your average hearing kid. Your child is an exceptional deaf person who is using an amazing technology to get opportunities that she or he wouldn't otherwise.

As a mainstreamed kid I always felt like I was missing something. I was proud to overcome obstacles, but I was ashamed of being deaf. I was ashamed of my speech, to miss out on conversations, to be made fun of. Yeah, a lot of CI kids are doing way better than I ever did hearing-wise, with better speech, etc., but he or she is still deaf.

What can make a mainstreamed deaf kid feel he or she is really special? ASL, knowing about deaf culture, realizing that deaf doesn't mean broken. This should be a really important part of a mainstreamed education, but it's swept under the rug. In a hearing world, what a deaf kid hears comes up as a measuring stick, and it shouldn't.

Whether it's meant to or not, there's an underlying message sent with going through the CI regimen and mainstreaming a deaf kid.

More of my own experience:
I got this technology because I didn't hear right.
I got speech therapy because I didn't talk right.
I got in trouble because I didn't behave right.
When I was a kid, I once asked an audiologist when my hearing was going to get better, and when I was going to be normal.

WTF? I had fabulous parents. They're a big part of what got me to this point. And they didn't know what to do about this or understand this. They didn't know any deaf people. They had hearing educators, hearing doctors, and hearing experts giving them advice.

If you're a hearing parent with deaf kids, i don't really feel I have a right to tell you whether that kid should be oral or ASL, CI or not. But if you raise a a deaf kid as if he is hearing, and never educate him about deaf culture, and the measuring stick is always how well he hears and how he scores against his hearing peers... well, there's a pretty good likelihood that's going to create some issues down the road.

There's no reason a deaf/hoh child shouldn't be proud.

I began learning ASL in my early twenties. Deaf culture isn't the biggest thing in my life, but it's an important part of my life. And in terms of my cultural identity, it's the #1 way I identify myself. It's a no-brainer. It's certainly way better than feeling like a broken hearie that just doesn't measure up.

Frank if more people spoke like you and explained things in a non biased manner just like you just did, there would not be any of these debates with hearing parents and the deaf culture. You expressed your feelings without sugar coating anything but did not in any way insult any parent in making decisions of their childrens future. I thank you for your advice and will take it to heart.

 

[R2D2]

Here it is, FWIW.

I was born hoh in my left ear, deaf in the right ear. My hearing in the left ear was fading fast from the time I was a baby. I had eight surgeries between the time I was a baby and the age of 8, and these stabilized my hearing enough for me to do well in a mainstream school, play guitar, and now I'm working on my master's degree at Hopkins. If my parents hadn't made these medical choices for me, I wouldn't be here.

I've paid a price for being part of the hearing world. I know that. I've had to deal with isolation, discrimination, and all of that. As a kid I thought I was a broken hearie, and that's about the worst way a deaf child can feel. Doesn't mean I was an unhappy kid, I just didn't accept who I was.

At the same time, I feel very thankful for the opportunities I've had. I don't want to give up being deaf, I just want to be able to communicate with 99% of the world. How does this apply to the whole CI/mainstream debate? Well, we need to give our kids what will give them the best opportunity we can. I don't have the answer for what that is-- it's complicated. I don't know what I'd decide if my child is deaf. Part of me would be proud and excited, part of me would have a big dilemma on my hands.

For all the hearing parents out there, there's something really important to consider if you're mainstreaming a CI kid. You don't want to raise your kid to be a broken hearie, someone who needs to be fixed up, because that will come back to haunt him or her. Your child is not just your average hearing kid. Your child is an exceptional deaf person who is using an amazing technology to get opportunities that she or he wouldn't otherwise.

As a mainstreamed kid I always felt like I was missing something. I was proud to overcome obstacles, but I was ashamed of being deaf. I was ashamed of my speech, to miss out on conversations, to be made fun of. Yeah, a lot of CI kids are doing way better than I ever did hearing-wise, with better speech, etc., but he or she is still deaf.

What can make a mainstreamed deaf kid feel he or she is really special? ASL, knowing about deaf culture, realizing that deaf doesn't mean broken. This should be a really important part of a mainstreamed education, but it's swept under the rug. In a hearing world, what a deaf kid hears comes up as a measuring stick, and it shouldn't.

Whether it's meant to or not, there's an underlying message sent with going through the CI regimen and mainstreaming a deaf kid.

More of my own experience:
I got this technology because I didn't hear right.
I got speech therapy because I didn't talk right.
I got in trouble because I didn't behave right.
When I was a kid, I once asked an audiologist when my hearing was going to get better, and when I was going to be normal.

WTF? I had fabulous parents. They're a big part of what got me to this point. And they didn't know what to do about this or understand this. They didn't know any deaf people. They had hearing educators, hearing doctors, and hearing experts giving them advice.

If you're a hearing parent with deaf kids, i don't really feel I have a right to tell you whether that kid should be oral or ASL, CI or not. But if you raise a a deaf kid as if he is hearing, and never educate him about deaf culture, and the measuring stick is always how well he hears and how he scores against his hearing peers... well, there's a pretty good likelihood that's going to create some issues down the road.

There's no reason a deaf/hoh child shouldn't be proud.

I began learning ASL in my early twenties. Deaf culture isn't the biggest thing in my life, but it's an important part of my life. And in terms of my cultural identity, it's the #1 way I identify myself. It's a no-brainer. It's certainly way better than feeling like a broken hearie that just doesn't measure up.

Breaking my self imposed in this thread to say that this is an excellent post and really good, constructive advice for hearing parents of deaf children. Sometimes it's worth trawling through threads like these to get gems like this post.

 

[Cheri]

I just wanna say something here, I apologies if I offended any parents here that have children with cochlear implants, believe me If you've met me in real life, I'll open my arms and welcome you to the Deaf Community, I'm not going to lecture you about how much I'm against children with cochlear implant, just a thought you'll like to know.

 

[shel90]

I'm confused. An arguement is going here that parents who implant their children with CI's are ignoring their "deaf cultural" rights, and trying to fix them, and yet if a child with a CI goes to a deaf school they are "ending up" there as if its an afterthought? Is the concept of parents WANTING children to attend a deaf school so they can experience both hearing and deaf worlds such an alien thing?

One thing I would like to bring up, though - in defense of parents who go the mainstreamed/oral route in schools - deaf schools have such a poor performance rating that even *I* would be scared to send a child to one. When I attended RIT/NTID, my two roommates, *deaf-highschool graduates* could not read & understand a book they had to take for their NTID english class that I had read in 7th grade. I found that shocking! They both were constantly coming to me for tutoring in their math/english homework because they couldn't understand it. What *I* couldn't understand is how they could graduate a child who didn't even have a 7th grade level of English comprehension.

By law, Deaf schools can't keep kids past 21 years old which is why most of them offer two diplomas.
Ok..if Deaf schools r so bad then why am I the only deaf person who was mainstreamed to have a college degree at my work? The rest of my deaf co workers who r professionals with BA, MA and even PhD degrees all graduated from deaf schools. Same goes for my brother.

Also, more of my deaf friends with degrees r from Deaf schools than those with degrees and mainstreamed programs.

Yes, they cheated their way thru school. Shame on them!

I think Deaf schools are doing a great job because they have an unique population of students to work with but so many people look down on deaf schools and that is really sad cuz we do so much for these kids.

If parents want to mainstream their kids simply due to the fact that they think deaf schools are bad, their choice and I won't tell them what to do. I just only offer a suggestion that it would be nice if their children meet children who go to deaf schools if the schools r nearby. What's the harm in that?

 

[sr171soars]

Thing is..........even with a lot of the superstar types, or the ones who REALLY thrive in mainstream, they do tend to have a lot of mental health issues."

Do you have any facts to back up that opinion?


"I do see SOME people bashing on methods"

Other than the oral only route, what other methods have been bashed on this forum?



"A lot of times, oralism and mainstreaming are presented as some sort of wonderful glorious utopia with NO downsides."


True, but the same is done with ASL and Deaf Culture. It seems to be more of a factor of the methodolgy chosen by the poster.


"Yes, oral skills rock, yes there are upsides to mainstreaming.........but it's not all peaches n' cream."


What choice is there that is all peaches n' cream?
Rick

DD stirred up old memories for me about the mental health issues. I will submit that there is some truth to DD assertions (obviously not about the truly wacked out types but simplier things such as depression and other mild manifestations). I can recall it took me a long time to gain a sense balance and perspective about what I could achieve and not achieve. In other words, I finally reached an equilibrium as to who I was in the larger scheme of things. You see, I'm one of those "superstars" DD talks about. I kept reaching higher and higher up the ladder so much so that there were costs involved psychologically. I'm fine with the costs for myself but not everybody can do that and it is something that needs to be considered for those in that position.

Getting to the "peaches n' cream" issue, I totally agree nothing is totally peaches n' cream. There are downsides whatever state one is in as nobody is perfect.

 

[jillio]

Just finished reading all the posts and it seems to be the same thing over and over again. First of all, naturally i'm going to be very active in the CI threads, i want to know about other parents with their dhh kids and their experiences with the CI.I am always checking out other topics but why should i post something and then be drilled implanting my daughter. Who said anything about not exposing their child to sign? For now she dosent sign but i've stated numerous times in other posts that we were in the process of learning. We chose to expose her to oral language first and if that is such a crime, so be it. I am glad i chose that route first for her and now we are in the next phase which is signing. I just can't seem to see the problem, she is 6 years old and has good language and speech skills that are going to help her in life and she is still young enough aquire good signing skills. Am i saying that you have to speak in order to make it in this world, no of course not but i am trying to knock down some barriers for her and making sure she has both oral and signing skill. For now it's up to us, the parents to make decisions on our children behalf and make sure we prepare them for life. When she gets older she will be prepared to be apart of what ever she chooses and as long as she has her parents and her famlies love and support by her side, i know she will be just fine. It's not about the deaf world or the hearing world, it's about being an individual and being comfortable in your own skin and i will make sure of that.

Wow!:jaw: I can't believe what I just read! On behalf of the Deaf population and also on my own behalf--"you have to speak to make it in this world" is just about the most offensive comment you can make on a deaf messange board. SHAME ON YOU!

 

[shel90]

Wow!:jaw: I can't believe what I just read! On behalf of the Deaf population and also on my own behalf--"you have to speak to make it in this world" is just about the most offensive comment you can make on a deaf messange board. SHAME ON YOU!

HMMM..I think u might have read her wrong...this is what she said...

Am i saying that you have to speak in order to make it in this world, no of course not but i am trying to knock down some barriers for her and making sure she has both oral and signing skill.

I dont know how u interpreted it but I interpreted it that she wants her daughter to have both??

From my understanding she is saying that by being able to speak, barriers will be knocked down.

 

[shel90]

I just wanna say something here, I apologies if I offended any parents here that have children with cochlear implants, believe me If you've met me in real life, I'll open my arms and welcome you to the Deaf Community, I'm not going to lecture you about how much I'm against children with cochlear implant, just a thought you'll like to know.

Same here..I have always said in the past and still stick to it. It is NONE of my business if parents implant their children or not and I dont believe that I have told to parents not to implant their children or not. No, I dont like it but that will only be applied to me and my own children. No, I wont reject the parents with implanted children if they want to be involved with the deaf community and learn sign language. I only suggest that the child be exposed to both..oral and signing due to so many reasons and if people are interested in knowing those reasons, let me know. I am not gonna post them here and spark another debate.

 

[Cheri]

HMMM..I think u might have read her wrong...this is what she said...

Am i saying that you have to speak in order to make it in this world, no of course not but i am trying to knock down some barriers for her and making sure she has both oral and signing skill.

I dont know how u interpreted it but I interpreted it that she wants her daughter to have both??

From my understanding she is saying that by being able to speak, barriers will be knocked down.

Yes and she also said It's up to the parents too, which I don't agree with that, Most of us experience what it was like in our walks of life with how our parents choose, and it didn't always turn out to be the right decision, It seems to me those parents don't want to hear our advice, so I'm bowling out of this thread.