Im Depressed

Beowulf said:
I'm glad you didn't tell him to wash in the blood of the lamb.
It takes a professional to dispense proper advice.
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That's why I deleted my original posts. I didn't realize that Doug needed professional help when I first posted. I leave that up to the doctors.
 
Reba said:
That's why I deleted my original posts. I didn't realize that Doug needed professional help when I first posted. I leave that up to the doctors.
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Reba, I wasn't referring to you. It was just a smart-ass comment.
 
Grummer said:
Doug, try a different med, like ask for maybe Citalapram, it has reallu good reputation, its an SSRI but works very well. I cope with life a lot better now than i did before, and I am more outgoing, surely life isnt perfect, but I also have noticed Ive join Deaf Pool Social, talk and recognises many other dog owners/walkers have new freinds (yes new freinds they come to my place for cuppa, evem give me a had in my garden) its takes time.
Another trick I learned along the way is that I talk about myself less and more about what I do, and more about 'news' or just bring up conversations about stuff , not people issues, but more like what we doing, how solve this (gardening issues) in such a way that it's interesting and at same time i give them chance to come up with their ideas, or see if they recount or have similar experiences, that is giving and taking, its finding the middle of the road between people. People dont like needy people or "i am feeling this' or that, it actually turns them off, not saying they all will, but its best avoid it, try be upbeat but be mild at same time, and definitely prescribe back on SSRI woould be sensible, at same time, watch the diet, bananas are good, avoid sugery junks, but dont eliminate all otherwise eating becomes boring and depressing. If you stopped drinking coffee, then hop back on it, but not in a big way, just 3 cups a day is ok, that sort of thing, the whole trick is steady on everything and talk about things that others might/would be interested, then people will start to think you're not so self centred and will talk to you in quite a good social way. Like you get feedback which ultimately pave the way back to being a social person. Life could have been a lot worse, and fight the bullshit blues, you can win against the blues. But alone without doctors help its really really hard, SSRI or what do/did you have will help alot. or talk about a different brand, same family but they release differently to which might or would suit you better , realise this also they say it takes 2-3 weeks for the effects to kick in, and it takes another 2-3 months or so or more for your overall perception and reflection to take on a lighter note. Put differently, it takes time for you to start feeling ok, and more time to actually be too busy feeling more to it and thus you'd forget the sludgy feelings, like you'd say 'what the fuck why was i like that? ..BUT same time dont let this fool you into thinking you are 100% and time to come off it, it takes longer. Ok for some hearies, they go thry breakups then stop and move on, but we Deaf, are too conscious of our 'disability' in the hearing world, its too intense to discontinue all too quickly, get my drift? this is also saying, I am in not much a different situation as you, and you can do it, it can be a lot better, also my tolerate for 'down days' are far better im more resilient to crap, well half the other trick is i stay busy!!..
good luck finding your way back to the inner peace, Doug you deserve to feel better soon, just get on with it and expect to work (not that hard at all) on getting into habit of doing things, get busy, wallowing isnt fun at all. Now when i look back i can see wallowing is just pathetic its boring. I simply got bored of being bored LOL....
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Excellent Grummer! Glad to know you are feeling better, and thanks for sharing that experience.:ty:
 
Depressed

Doug5 said:
I live in Phoenix. Im 39 y/o and feel like I am too old to make any friends.

I am hoh and was mainstreamed and experienced the social isolation that appears to be common, from what Ive read. I dont really identify with the deaf, dont know sign language. Dont feel like I relate to anyone really

Also, I think I have avoidant personality disorder.
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Well Doug, geez no wonder you are feeling lonely friend..smile..let me tell you ..you are never to old to make friends.i lost my hearing 7 yrs ago and then had a TBI so I lost most of my memory including my ASL ,laughing geez,
I know that feeling you are describing but believe me you are not the only one who has felt that way. First suggestion, go see a counselor to establish if in fact you do have APD...there are meds for that and also support groups.If you are currently on meds you may need to have some labs done to establish if the med you are using is doing what it should to help you..if not there are several others you can discuss with your physician or psychiatrist.
I found out fitting into a certain group is not that important..I have deaf friends and hearing friends and friends who are blind..we all somehow stay connected. I know the state you in now feels like it will never be any different ,,but its just not so...go find out if you have any other health issues confirm or rule out APD and find a Deaf support group in your area. I will be glad to be your friend here in AD. you can write to me anytime and so many others are here to help with suggestions. This is a great step for you to take, Doug.. my name is MidnightSun, you can read about me before you decide if you would like to be my friend here in AD land lol and I am sure you will hear from others in your area to give you support info..Peace begins within Doug, Take a deep breath, my friend you took a big step today..smile Midnight♥♥:wave:
 
MidnightSun said:
Well Doug, geez no wonder you are feeling lonely friend..smile..let me tell you ..you are never to old to make friends.i lost my hearing 7 yrs ago and then had a TBI so I lost most of my memory including my ASL ,laughing geez,
I know that feeling you are describing but believe me you are not the only one who has felt that way. First suggestion, go see a counselor to establish if in fact yo do have APD...there are meds for that and also support groups.
I found out fitting into a certain group is not that important..I have deaf friends and hearing friends and friends who are blind..we all somehow stay connected. I know the state you in mow feels like it will never be any different ,,but its just not so...go find out if you have any other health issues confirm or rule out APD and find a Deaf support group in your area. I will be glad to be yor friend here in AD. you can write to me anytime and so many others are here to help with answers and suggestions. This is your lucky day Doug...Please by my new friend, my name is MidnightSun, you can read about me before you decide in my profile and I am sure you will hear from others in your area to give you support info..Peace begins within Doug, Take a deep breath, my friend you took the first step today..smile Midnight♥♥:wave:
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Nice job at empathizing.
 
Think of it this way. Your brain chemistry is out of wack. Medication can stabilize your brain chemistry. A shrink is the appropriate person to adjust your brain chemistry. Medication is not "happy pills." Medication only makes you feel normal so that you can work on your issues. When you feel better, you will be able to work on your social situation.

Some people are more prone to mental health issues than other people. Genetics makes some people more vulnerable. What you can to is control how you react to this brain chemistry issue. Don't listen to your depression. It lies! Contact your family physician for a referral.

There's no shame in getting treatment. You wouldn't let your endocrine system rage out of control with diabetes without getting treatment. Here, we're just talking about another body system.
 
Jillio, you are coming off as hostile. I wish the ssri's worked for me but they dont. I took them daily for several months and didnt notice any affect. My last shrink told me that that there really isnt much medication can do for avpd. Maybe thats why none of the ssri's help. She didnt seem to disagree with my self diagnosis of avpd.

I am on a waiting list for therapy. MY appointment is on the first week of June. I plan on trying cbt and anything else that may help.

I realize Ive done a lot of whining in this thread and am embarrassed by it. I am venting
 
Im done with medications, theyve never helped me.

I dont think I am depressed. I dont self harm or have suicidal thoughts. I am just upset with my current situation.

The peer rejection I experienced while growing up and continue to experience isnt real? And if it is real, it shouldnt bother me?

I have not given up on life. I am working with a career counselor trying to find work. If I do have avpd, there is not a lot that can be done about it. Personality disorders are supposedly the most difficult to treat. If I have avpd, its something that has to be accepted and choose an appropiate career that wont be hindered by it.
 
Doug5 said:
I live in Phoenix. Im 39 y/o and feel like I am too old to make any friends.

I am hoh and was mainstreamed and experienced the social isolation that appears to be common, from what Ive read. I dont really identify with the deaf, dont know sign language. Dont feel like I relate to anyone really

Also, I think I have avoidant personality disorder.
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Grew up in Phx and know mannnny people in the Deaf community there. I can ask around on where or what events are good for people like you to meet other deaf people if you would like?
 
Doug5 said:
Why are you so skeptical? Do you really think isolation I experienced wouldnt have an affect on me?

Imagine everyday you went to school, you didnt have a single friend in the class. Meanwhile, you see students transferred from other schools readily make friends. This goes on for years and never got any better.

Parents and educators were unaware of the situation so they did nothing to help. Meanwhile, I am trying to figure out why no one wants to be my friend. How can any of this be good for ones self esteem? Also, anxiety, eating disorders, and bdd runs in my family.

this is very difficult and painfull for me to talk about. I hate bringing up the past. I just want to move on. When I read about avpd it describes exactly what I am feeling.

Here is an example. Going to a random Starbucks for a cup of coffee isnt stressfull for me. Its when I go to the same one routinely and the employees start to recognize me. Then they start to engage in small talk and I :shock: cuz I dont know what to say or how long to talk for. Make me very uncomfortable.
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I know that feeling. Since learning ASL and becoming a part of the Deaf community, it has gotten better but if I am in a sensitive or depressed mood, then I get anxiety with these kinds of situations.
 
I have issues depresion send to doctor! professional I am history!
 
Doug, I don't think badly of you. I think that it's courageous to reach out for help.
 
Doug5 said:
does medication help?
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Doesn;t work my medication fail impossible Issues strong anti-depression psychiast siad adjust to me pretty cocern risk suicide and hurt

prevent to suicde not funny!
People annoy the me hurt will low self

I don' trust to people because trolling or hurting anxiety I am very hurting my ruin life! I have isuses personal bored and obssessive serious! I am very go to doctor invesitage to me

he said fine test blood odd mitzapante reason risk! is very dangerous! I am bit scared and anxiety mood tough go to counsellor professional help you improve skilsl managment!
 
Everyone has to vent sometimes. AD is a safe place for venting. :)
 
I am terrible sad hurting harm! I am very sad! depression, I am very no reason my family support and friends no help me I am very disappointment bit not weep!< I was seems mood! 100 not perfect I am high risk serious dangerous and panic attack! I am not happy today screw up hard to not easy complication my personalQ
 
I appreciate you guys tolerating my ranting. I was having a bad week.

Im scared to meet other deaf people cuz I dont know how to sign.

Whats with the idea that ssri's are some magic fix? Ive tried: prozac, zoloft, lexapro, celexia, effexor, paxil, and others I cant remember. None of them help at all with my anxiety. Some of the shrinks seemed to take an attitude with me, like Im being difficult or something.
 
Doug5 said:
I appreciate you guys tolerating my ranting. I was having a bad week.

Im scared to meet other deaf people cuz I dont know how to sign.

Whats with the idea that ssri's are some magic fix? Ive tried: prozac, zoloft, lexapro, celexia, effexor, paxil, and others I cant remember. None of them help at all with my anxiety. Some of the shrinks seemed to take an attitude with me, like Im being difficult or something.
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I remember fluextinoe desont work helpe, fail weak! not pefect because chemcial cause serious high risk dangerous worst lonely not good hard to situation history my past refresh memory I am not understand psychaist said think so you are fine, I said don't believe it not impossible not work! screw up on my medication! conflict to obsseive and on personal mood disorder I think so issues panick scared, people harm to me

I scared become worried and anxiety protect to guard, , I was worried might not easy handle to my managerment to control your emotional stress or bored lazy nobody friends,I tried on my friends waste of time not respect to not fair I can't' to peopel facebook or msn not allow

harsh on my feeling risk dangerous protect to prevent!
 
Doug5 said:
I appreciate you guys tolerating my ranting. I was having a bad week.
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I think most people can understand that. :)

Im scared to meet other deaf people cuz I dont know how to sign.
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Maybe you can take some sign language classes. Then you can meet some new people and learn how to sign together. Sometimes VR will pay for the classes.

I hope next week is better for you. :hug:
 
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