Im Depressed

[jillio]

Doug, don't be embarrassed. I have had many many many many days in which I was feeling 100% anti-social and not at all interested in dealing with other people. Now that I am making an effort to learn ASL and meet other Deaf people, been feeling much better and less anxious like I am feeling much more comfortable in my skin. Not that this is a cure-all for everything but it certainly does help! And I can't tell you how wonderful it is to talk to another Deaf person and have them KNOW what I am talking about and share empathy and understanding. It really does wonders for my psyche and well-being. Anyway, sending you a friend request. Please accept!

You are actively taking action to change your situation. You are to be commended.

 

[Grummer]

Grummer, if that's what you were trying to say, you failed. I didn't get that from any of your posts. Your "victim of feminism" ploy is very silly.

 

[Grummer]

LOL, oh well, and yes DeafCaroline says it all too...its all about making effort, i was exactly and (still am a bit) like you Doug, but i decided to fight to make my life better, change my fate , change the way i think and feel, that's all i did and its working becuase thats' exactly what I am doing.

you're not a nut, just down that's all, indeed i can also understand what you mean, depressed' as a Normal sense of the word, not a medicalised connotion...so be it, you're not clinically depressed (but you may be), do somethign about it, Make life slightly more bearable for starters , DO ONE good nice things for yourself every day, Say one nice things about yourself to yourself, , yes self talk is important chances are you talked yourself down, now reverse it, talk yourself UP....

and Good Luck my freind... Cheer up

 

[DeafCaroline]

Thanks Jillio, it took me a year to find an ASL teacher where I live. There are classes but only during the evenings on the other side of town - not so great when you live where there's snow and ice 6 months of the year. I posted online everywhere asking for a Deaf only ASL teacher, no hearing ones, and finally, by chance, someone saw my post somewhere on Facebook and got in touch with me. By then, I had already given up hoping to find an ASL teacher when she emailed me for by then, it had been a year of searching.
I just had a lesson with her today, she comes once a week for two hours to teach ASL and stays longer just to hang out and chat, and because of her, I learned of a dinner next week for the Deaf. One thing leads to the next once you get the ball rolling. It's great!

 

[jillio]

Thanks Jillio, it took me a year to find an ASL teacher where I live. There are classes but only during the evenings on the other side of town - not so great when you live where there's snow and ice 6 months of the year. I posted online everywhere asking for a Deaf only ASL teacher, no hearing ones, and finally, by chance, someone saw my post somewhere on Facebook and got in touch with me. By then, I had already given up hoping to find an ASL teacher when she emailed me for by then, it had been a year of searching.
I just had a lesson with her today, she comes once a week for two hours to teach ASL and stays longer just to hang out and chat, and because of her, I learned of a dinner next week for the Deaf. One thing leads to the next once you get the ball rolling. It's great!

I am really glad that you got your ball rolling, and things are working out for you.

 

[sallylou]

LOL@Grummer

Good to see you around, my dear fart-connoisseur!

 

[Smithtr]

I can tell you I have not well issues my emotional harassment ecause harm on my life bugging, because I getting worse my depressino I am not well I go to stay away depend my life emotion down low estem hard to my emotion! I am very too much worrried and annoy, respect to me
I am very good person I am very hard to emotion! I have not well i am better go now!
take care yourself day anytime question to private message!

 

[whatdidyousay!]

I want this thread deleted. I dont care to be labeled as a nut thats off his meds

I do not think you're a nut! There are a lot of people that have depression.
James Taylor has came out and spoke about having depression and he is not a nut! I know people here are only able give you suggestions on how to get help or tell you have they manger their depression. Everyone is difference and they need to find the right person and treatment to help them. I was told to try St John Wort to feel better and ended having to go the ER to have a catheter.
I did not know St John Wort is an anti diuretic! My bladder could had busted, I was not able to pee for 48 hours! My doctor said he would not had believe how sick I was if he had not seen me! He did not know I was taking St John Wort . Most people feel better less depress taking St John Wort, it almost killed me! I was stuck on a airplane for 4 hours and end having to stay over night in a hotel before I could get back to Boston airport! I really hope you will find a way to feel better, you're not nut or crazy and you can't just snap out of depression , if anyone tell you this , they're the one that is nut!

 

[Oceanbreeze]

I do not think you're a nut! There are a lot of people that have depression.
James Taylor has came out and spoke about having depression and he is not a nut! I know people here are only able give you suggestions on how to get help or tell you have they manger their depression. Everyone is difference and they need to find the right person and treatment to help them. I was told to try St John Wort to feel better and ended having to go the ER to have a catheter.
I did not know St John Wort is an anti diuretic! My bladder could had busted, I was not able to pee for 48 hours! My doctor said he would not had believe how sick I was if he had not seen me! He did not know I was taking St John Wort . Most people feel better less depress taking St John Wort, it almost killed me! I was stuck on a airplane for 4 hours and end having to stay over night in a hotel before I could get back to Boston airport! I really hope you will find a way to feel better, you're not nut or crazy and you can't just snap out of depression , if anyone tell you this , they're the one that is nut!

Nobody even suggested he was a nut. It was he who suggested that he had a personality disorder alongside his depression. So, if anyone threw labels around it was him. He's projecting his feelings onto us. In his state of depression, he is taking things very personally. This is why I have suggested (more than once) for him to be re-evaluated for another med trial and therapy.

I'm also not surprised he wants this thread closed now. He didn't get out of it what he thought he would, so he wants it closed.

 

[whatdidyousay!]

Nobody even suggested he was a nut. It was he who suggested that he had a personality disorder alongside his depression. So, if anyone threw labels around it was him. He's projecting his feelings onto us. In his state of depression, he is taking things very personally. This is why I have suggested (more than once) for him to be re-evaluated for another med trial and therapy.

I'm also not surprised he wants this thread closed now. He didn't get out of it what he thought he would, so he wants it closed.

I thought someone called him a nut. I did not read every comments. I really think the only thing we can do is to give him support as we're not qualified to tell him what to do.

 

[Smithtr]

does medication help?

I am tried on my depression nobody supportive I wonder impossible

respective for me! please to support encourage!
I am pretty serious high risk cocern about to my stress emotional and anxiety screw up my life!

 

[Oceanbreeze]

I thought someone called him a nut. I did not read every comments. I really think the only thing we can do is to give him support as we're not qualified to tell him what to do.

I hate to disagree with you, but, I'm going to. You don't have to have a PhD to advise someone they need therapy; especially for someone with an illness that already exists by their own admission.

Things would be so much easier here if AD had a policy regarding how to deal with mental illness on this forum. But, AD doesn't. More than once, AD has had drama because someone who was acutely ill has come on here and made a thread while symtomatic of their respective illness.

 

[Mudkipz]

If someone comes on the internet to discuss their illness/problem, they should really go to a doctor or a specialist because sometimes, depending on the OP, it should tell you enough that that person really needs help or is clueless and people like us could not do anything about it, but to encourage one to turn around and do something about it.

 

[Dixie]

Doug5,
I'm sorry you are feeling this way and I have to admit that I do understand completely where you are coming from. I was where you are now about 6 months ago when I was fired from my job unexpectedly (ok, like anyone actually expects to get fired, however the reasons for it were silly and it's a long story). I had just been diagnosed with Bi-Polar and was prescribed SSRIs (Abilify and Zoloft). When I was fired, I no longer had insurance and I was forced to give up the medications because it was going to cost me $400/month for these, which obviously I could not afford with no income. So here I was at Christmastime: jobless, penniless, living with my parents with a child of my own to raise, depressed, and off my medications. Thankfully, I had a friend that kept reaching out to me, even on days I didn't want to be reached out to only because I felt unworthy of it. If she hadn't kept prodding me and coaxed me out of my hell, I very likely would have just closed in on myself in a way and probably would have never tried for the things I have tried for such as applying for a position with the USDA.

I will admit that things are better, yet still not peaches and cream, but still much better than the circumstances I was in at the time. I am currently working 6 days a week on a farm that is owned and operated by my Aunt and Uncle. I am earning my own money and paying for my own things despite living at home with my parents.

Yes, there are days I wake up feeling like a total fuckup (pardon my French). There are days I feel like I just want to break down. There are times I just want to close myself in and cry because I just feel that worthless. The only difference is that I know that I have a friend I can reach out to on those days and we can talk.

I'm still off my medications, but I am doing as best as I am able to without them. I know in the long term for overall mental health reasons I will need them, but I cannot afford them, not at $400/month. I have found that getting into art, writing, and music helps calm my nerves. I still have panic attacks, I still have my moments, but I'm slowly trying to find things that calm me down. I have also found that nicotine, as bad as it is, does ease my nerves a little bit, I just wished I didn't smoke it, so I have considered switching to a patch or nicotine gum, just that the things are so darned expensive!

I still wish for the simple things in life such as a small house with a white picket fence to call my own. I wish I already had a job that paid for everything my DD and I needed, and maybe some of what we want. I don't desire a fancy car or mansion. Just a piece of something to call my own as a way to tell myself that hey I have done it. That's my goal really.

I never had friends in school really. Oddly me and my best friend from kindergarten found each other again about 4 months ago, and while we aren't best friends anymore, we still enjoy each other's company. We've taken vastly different paths in life and that's ok. When she moved, I didn't have another friend again in school. I understand how it feels to be a lifelong student at that school and never make a friend and to watch transfer students move in and readily make friends within the first 2-3 weeks they were there. I was taunted and ridiculed. I was bullied and picked on. I was the class freak. Only recently have I discovered that I tend to dwell too much on things and that I need to try to find the positive in life and not focus so much on the negative. It's hard, I know, I am learning this still at aged 27.

The main thing that has made a difference I think, is surrounding myself with people who will stand by me and support me, even if that support is to do nothing more than to listen. I had to reach out to keep from closing in on myself.

You have to reach out. Maybe you should strike up a conversation at Starbucks with the brown eyed Barista. Just start off with the simple such as "How are you? How is your day going?". If people see you take an interest in them, people will start to take an interest in you. I think this is something that most people spend a lifetime learning, especially in a society that places so much importance on the self rather than the fellow person. Just reach out.

 

[Doug5]

what am I supposed to say? Im mentally ill? Am I too mentally sick to go back to work?

As far as people telling me to go back on meds and Im not properly viewing reality, I think its similar to telling a pissed off chick, she is just PMS'ing. It just makes her more upset.

 

[Grummer]

LMAO, well. apparently, some women actually DO need meds for their PMS, no joke...its al about everyones got different degrees of whatsoever the biological kinks it may be, nothing is ever normal...

 

[Grummer]

we just 'dont hear about it' cuz women hide this too well, even its well hidden in womens magazines, real problem hardly get 'published', only the more mild, seemingly 'normal' shits...

relax man, you not mentally ill, nothing like it, you think OK, feel OK, just need a tweak and (or if not that) then just some kick to have some motivation to start enjoying life again.. really NO harm is done to anyone or yourself for venting, in fact I think you rock for doing that, it takes a sane person to actually express themselve like that, No worries there, just ok you've seen what some had said, doesnt mean you HAVE to buy it, but it gives ideas to explore no harm in that, and even no harm to explore to get more guts to actually do something about it WITHOUT meds, its your choice, no body else, I, for one wont be bit dissapointed if you didnt take med, look at Dixie, she COULDNT afford it !!!, and she knows...so its proof you can still work at it, as long as you want to re-frame your outlook to feel better in long term then its all good.. do it, you'd thank yourself...seriously none of us is pressuring you, only responding nothing more...

lighten up mate...be cool , be cool with yourself, help yourself, you're your only best mate...

 

[cookingmom]

hey my son and I know how you feel he was born without ears and uses both speech and sign get a hold of him on facebook he would be happy to talk to you it robert engle

 

[KristinaB]

I think we all go through periods of some kind of depression. Some people require medication because it is just too much for them to handle alone. Others are able to move past it for the most part, and still others will require medication just while they move past and can then maybe get off the medication.

Because I fit into the last category I know how much of a struggle it can be. I have tried to work out some coping strategies and different things I can do that will keep me off the medication but still move through it all.

I sincerely hope that anyone who is going through some kind of depression or anxiety related struggle gets whatever help they require and is able to learn some kind of coping strategies.

 

[inmate23]

ok grummer citapalm is prozac