i asked this elsewhere..

frankiesmom said:
i am just worried that if say, the hearing aids dont work, or the batteries die, or they get lost..or any number of things..that leaves him without ANY means of communication, which is why we are going to try and get everyone to start learning sign language..the more people i have spoken with and the more things i have read have convinced me that at least for our little boy, having him learn to talk only just wouldn't be a good thing. yes, it would be nice to hear him say words but i want him to be able to get his point across without struggling. luckily, this school teaches sign language first and then speaking later..or something along those lines. the best part is that they have 2 teachers that are deaf and they have deaf people come in and talk to the kids, etc..i guess to expose them to others like them, so they dont feel isolated?
i think that my little one could have a very full life, even if he never learns to speak, as long as he has at least some way to communicate.
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You are a good mom!
 
Jiro said:
of course Deaf Community accepts any deafies - CI/HA/none/etc. We all share same issue - false hope by our hearing parents. Too many parents out there are misguided or misinformed but few parents like Grendel used BiBi approach and included ASL.

Medical Risk is hardly a concern for me. I've had surgeries and I'm cool with it but for me, I have a HUGE moral & ethical problem with implanting infants! That's just wrong on many levels. I don't want to do 50-50 risk and find out later on that my own child hates me for it. Simple - let the child be old enough to make a decision for himself.
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I share your concerns.
 
Beach girl said:
I can sympathize.

I put off having a hysterectomy for probably 3 years beyond when it was first recommended to me, because of potential complications and not wanting to say bye-bye to all my internal girl bits. I am a very slow decider myself when it comes to major surgery where it's not absolutely essential right that minute.

After I did though, I thought "sheesh, this is great, no more pain and aggravation. What in the world was I waiting for!!!"

So - just saying - it's important to take everything into consideration, but everyone will still have their own point of saying "OK, benefits are greater than the risks here," or vice versa. Facts and emotions both have to be taken into account.

For me personally, I start with the facts and work through to emotions. Others might make decisions the other way around, emotions first and then facts.
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Beach girl said:
If I have any children at this point, it would be a medical miracle!!

OK, seriously - for me personally, my prime child-bearing years would have been 25 to 35 years ago. If I had had a deaf child at that point, I probably would NOT have done a CI. The technology was still iffy, the surgery was very new, and I think I would have been too scared to have been an early-adopter.

If I were a new mother today, I certainly would very seriously consider it. I can't say for sure what I would do, but taking everything into account, medically and socially, I would certainly consider it a viable option. But of course would try HAs first, as everyone recommends.
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exactly why you can never understand this issue. You're still equating it with um..... your hysterectomy... car accidents.... investment risk.... :roll:

based on your posts and reasoning, you fall in category of false hope just like many parents. 25-35 years later... I wouldn't be surprised to see your grown-up child here in AD, sharing his/her miserable life story with us about being alone in hearing world, never knowing about ASL and deaf community.
 
posts from hell said:
How many deaths do you want to have an accurate statistical pool?
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:) Very nice.

Personally, I want a better sampling pool. I am willing to bet that the research had to find anyone with CI PROBLEMS, rather than random sampling. How were the results reported? Where do they find those people? I prefer truth over exaggeration.

Also, I don't mind the parents knowing those somewhat extreme numbers you stated. It would make them think twice about things.
 
frankiesmom said:
this is almost funny...i DO know someone who is deaf..he is my brother in laws friend! i wrote him on facebook and he has given me just tons of good advice regarding my little one..cant believe i forgot about him.
he mentioned the oklahoma school for the deaf, when he is older..but the only downside is that they stay 5 days a week, and come home on the weekends, holidays, and summer. but i bet it would be so beneficial to him. so much to learn, it seems! i read something on teaching a deaf child to speak only and i am wondering if this is true..it says that when you use this message, you ignore the child if they sign to you or use gestures, until they try to talk, no matter how upset they get..that seems a bit cruel to me..is it true??[/QUOTE]

that's the AVT approach. I think their methods are just cruel.
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Beach girl said:
Of course it matters

There are nearly 40,000 deaths from car accidents in the U.S. every year. Does that stop you from driving a car?

There is a small number of women who die in childbirth in the U.S. every year. Will that stop you from ever having kids?

Some kids drown in backyard pools. Will that stop someone from having a pool, if they don't have kids and only have visiting nieces and nephews from time to time?

There is a risk of investment loss (as we've seen last week!) if you put money in the stock market. Long-term, will that stop you from investing?

My point is: for nearly every human activity - even staying home! - there is some level of risk and some level of benefit. It's important to know the probability of a given risk and the probability of the corresponding benefit, and decide accordingly.
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Here we go again with the car accident analogy. It has been used by other CI parents. Gets old.

No offense but we have been down that road with that analogy.
 
Beowulf said:
Yet the CI bunch consistently tell us how much we are missing out on hearing. Something wrong here. :roll:
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I suspect the "CI bunch" you are referring to are the ones that work for or are advocates for the CI companies. This is not a bad thing since the CI actually helps some people. The problem is that the information is not well balanced and the results are so very unpredictable.
 
Daredevel7 said:
:) Very nice.

Personally, I want a better sampling pool. I am willing to bet that the research had to find anyone with CI PROBLEMS, rather than random sampling. How were the results reported? Where do they find those people? I prefer truth over exaggeration.

Also, I don't mind the parents knowing those somewhat extreme numbers you stated. It would make them think twice about things.
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Study Design and Population

The investigation consisted of two parts: a cohort study to determine the incidence of bacterial meningitis among young children with cochlear implants and a nested case–control study to examine risk factors for meningitis. The study population included all children who had received a cochlear implant in the United States between January 1, 1997, and August 6, 2002, and who were less than six years old at the time of implantation. All three companies that market cochlear implants in the United States provided warranty lists (estimated to be 95 percent complete) of children who met these criteria. We combined these lists to define a study population of 4264 children.
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It's in the link. ALL children in that time frame.

*edit to add link again*
http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.105...ype=ref&ijkey=FGbgCPw7gQwjk&#t=articleResults
 
shel90 said:
Here we go again with the car accident analogy. It has been used by other CI parents. Gets old.

No offense but we have been down that road with that analogy.
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yea. same ole' same ole' for decades :roll:
 
Daredevel7 said:
Well, now you are talking about medical risk.

You were talking about social risk. I questioned if social risk was "higher" for kids with CIs than those with HAs.
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both.

both risks are too much for me to accept especially for infants. those risks get substantially reduced as the child gets older and I'm cool with it.
 
Jiro said:
exactly why you can never understand this issue. You're still equating it with um..... your hysterectomy... car accidents.... investment risk.... :roll:

based on your posts and reasoning, you fall in category of false hope just like many parents. 25-35 years later... I wouldn't be surprised to see your grown-up child here in AD, sharing his/her miserable life story with us about being alone in hearing world, never knowing about ASL and deaf community.
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Jiro, are you even reading what I'm writing?

A) I do not have any kids, deaf or otherwise. I am too old to have kids at this point. I do not have any personal stake in the debate whatsoever. You are not going to see my grown-up child "sharing his/her miserable life story," because such a person does not exist.

B) I have no "false hope" for my non-existent children.

C) I think for ALL of life's major decisions, it's a good idea to consider the risks and the benefits. That's just the way I'm wired. IF I ever were to consider a CI for myself, I would research it as thoroughly as I possibly could before making the decision, just like I do for every other major decision I make. I'm not a particularly impulsive, "gotta do it right now!" sort of person.

D) My personal decision (and your personal decision) doesn't need to carry any weight with anyone else. The statistical risks vs. benefits are important to know. Given a certain knowledge base, a given individual is still going to make a risk/benefit decision based on that person's own beliefs and attitudes, as well as that person's tolerance of risk.
 
posts from hell said:
Watch how they insert the electrode into the cochlea and you will see why it's so different for everyone. It's no science how they do it.
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I would love to watch this surgery.

EDIT: on an adult... please...
 
Someone posted some links to videos showing the surgery a while ago. Maybe youtube has some?
 
Beach girl said:
Jiro, are you even reading what I'm writing?

A) I do not have any kids, deaf or otherwise. I am too old to have kids at this point. I do not have any personal stake in the debate whatsoever. You are not going to see my grown-up child "sharing his/her miserable life story," because such a person does not exist.

B) I have no "false hope" for my non-existent children.

C) I think for ALL of life's major decisions, it's a good idea to consider the risks and the benefits. That's just the way I'm wired. IF I ever were to consider a CI for myself, I would research it as thoroughly as I possibly could before making the decision, just like I do for every other major decision I make. I'm not a particularly impulsive, "gotta do it right now!" sort of person.
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you still do not understand... oh boy

yes I know you do not have a kid but hypothetically... your kid will end up here, sharing his miserable life story with us that all of us share because you view CI as a prosthetic leg - purely medical perspective without even considering social, cultural, and developmental effect.

btw - no you don't really get to decide whether or not if CI is for you because your parents will be making decision for you when you're in diaper.

Beach girl said:
D) My personal decision (and your personal decision) doesn't need to carry any weight with anyone else. The statistical risks vs. benefits are important to know. Given a certain knowledge base, a given individual is still going to make a risk/benefit decision based on that person's own beliefs and attitudes, as well as that person's tolerance of risk.
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You are mistaken. My personal decision carries much more weight than yours.... because I know what living a deaf person is like in this world... you don't and you'll never will based on your reasoning. And I have been interacting with deaf community for a while now so I know what I'm talking about. Have you?
 
Sigh. Okey-doke, Jiro, whatevah.

I've been wearing HAs for longer than you've been alive. I do have a wee bit of experience there knowing what hearing loss is like.
 
Beach girl said:
Sigh. Okey-doke, Jiro, whatevah.

I've been wearing HAs for longer than you've been alive. I do have a wee bit of experience there knowing what hearing loss is like.
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so..... do you interact with deaf community? know signing? can understand phone conversation and radio?
 
posts from hell said:
It's in the link. ALL children in that time frame.

*edit to add link again*
MMS: Error
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Thank you for the link.

Good thing I had that shot to prevent bacterial meningitis. It's a shame they didn't find this out earlier.

I want to say more, but AD has a strange hold on me to not talk about CIs in a positive way. Some hearing people do it enough for everyone else. I think that's why most people get upset when this type of talk creeps into AD because it's kinda like "I hear it enough from everyone else, now I can't rant to my fellow peeps without being interrupted?!"

I often feel ambivalent about what to post here on AD. On one hand, I want to express myself, defend my choices and my thinking. I want to utilize my freedom of speech. But, on the other hand, others have heard the same old story many times and just want to get away from it all and want to have THEIR own freedom of speech without being attacked all the time. Yet, back on the original hand, I don't want people to assume that I am on someone's side just because I haven't said anything. (i.e. "Daredevel had a CI and she never said anything to defend CIs, therefore she didn't like the CI!") Sigh.....

Sorry, went off tangent there. Just been thinking about that for a while.
 
Daredevel7 said:
Thank you for the link.

Good thing I had that shot to prevent bacterial meningitis. It's a shame they didn't find this out earlier.

I want to say more, but AD has a strange hold on me to not talk about CIs in a positive way. Some hearing people do it enough for everyone else. I think that's why most people get upset when this type of talk creeps into AD because it's kinda like "I hear it enough from everyone else, now I can't rant to my fellow peeps without being interrupted?!"

I often feel ambivalent about what to post here on AD. On one hand, I want to express myself, defend my choices and my thinking. I want to utilize my freedom of speech. But, on the other hand, others have heard the same old story many times and just want to get away from it all and want to have THEIR own freedom of speech without being attacked all the time. Yet, back on the original hand, I don't want people to assume that I am on someone's side just because I haven't said anything. Sigh.....

Sorry, went off tangent there. Just been thinking about that for a while.
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no way. ain't nobody silencing you! There are already dozens of threads about deafies getting activated, new HA, etc. and being happy with it.

you just recently had CI implantation. the fact still remains that you made a decision for yourself - regardless of reason for having it but I believe we mainly have a problem with parents implanting their infants/little kids and then just hope for the best.
 
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