Change the future for a deaf child

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shel90 said:
One of my hubby's coworkers was shocked that I didnt want to get a CI and she said she thinks I do not want to improve myself.
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:mad2: yea that pisses me off to no end. my ex's mom was bugging me to get CI because she saw in some documentary show or whatever about CI and how my life will greatly improve if I can hear better. IMPROVE MYSELF? excuse me? I'm sorry but I didn't need CI to get a college degree and land a job with salary & benefit that's probably like 20x more than what she makes. She's a hairdresser... with no college education. That pissed me off even more because she's in no place to lecture to me about being successful in life. but of course..... I was being respectful and I just nod.... and I will spite her in my own place and in AD. :mad2: :mad2: :mad2:

my parents accepted who I am and they have never asked or mentioned about CI to me. They simply say "no thank you" to whoever suggested about me getting CI. They were strict with me and they kept pushing me to overcome anything. nothing's impossible. "if there's a will, there's a way." They are actively involved in how to make my brother's and my life easier with the latest technology. For example - they know we (my brother and I) can't communicate thru telephone. when the RIM pager first came out... they immediately bought 3 - for my mom, brother, and me. When there was a new digital HA that performed better than analog HA, they immediately bought it. so on...
 
Jiro said:
:mad2: yea that pisses me off to no end. my ex's mom was bugging me to get CI because she saw in some documentary show or whatever about CI and how my life will greatly improve if I can hear better. IMPROVE MYSELF? excuse me? I'm sorry but I didn't need CI to get a college degree and land a job with salary & benefit that's probably like 20x more than what she makes. She's a hairdresser... with no college education. That pissed me off even more because she's in no place to lecture to me about being successful in life. but of course..... I was being respectful and I just nod.... and I will spite her in my own place and in AD. :mad2: :mad2: :mad2:

my parents accepted who I am and they have never asked or mentioned about CI to me. They simply say "no thank you" to whoever suggested about me getting CI. They were strict with me and they kept pushing me to overcome anything. nothing's impossible. "if there's a will, there's a way." They are actively involved in how to make my brother's and my life easier with the latest technology. For example - they know we (my brother and I) can't communicate thru telephone. when the RIM pager first came out... they immediately bought 3 - for my mom, brother, and me. When there was a new digital HA that performed better than analog HA, they immediately bought it. so on...
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Why is this ok, but a CI isn't?
 
Bottesini said:
Safer and much easier to change when worn out or broken.
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But the purpose is the same, to help the child hear better.

I thought that didn't matter. That parents shouldn't worry about that. That those things have nothing to do with success. Why is it a good thing for this parent?
 
Jiro said:
:mad2: yea that pisses me off to no end. my ex's mom was bugging me to get CI because she saw in some documentary show or whatever about CI and how my life will greatly improve if I can hear better. IMPROVE MYSELF? excuse me? I'm sorry but I didn't need CI to get a college degree and land a job with salary & benefit that's probably like 20x more than what she makes. She's a hairdresser... with no college education. That pissed me off even more because she's in no place to lecture to me about being successful in life. but of course..... I was being respectful and I just nod.... and I will spite her in my own place and in AD. :mad2: :mad2: :mad2:

my parents accepted who I am and they have never asked or mentioned about CI to me. They simply say "no thank you" to whoever suggested about me getting CI. They were strict with me and they kept pushing me to overcome anything. nothing's impossible. "if there's a will, there's a way." They are actively involved in how to make my brother's and my life easier with the latest technology. For example - they know we (my brother and I) can't communicate thru telephone. when the RIM pager first came out... they immediately bought 3 - for my mom, brother, and me. When there was a new digital HA that performed better than analog HA, they immediately bought it. so on...
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Some hearing people r definitely ignorant! :roll:
 
shel90 said:
How do u know if you have never learned ASL or be involved with the Deaf community?
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What do you mean? This still wouldn't get me in contact with oral deaf people who do not seek other deaf people? I'm just saying, there is a good possibility that there is a significant unknown population of oral deaf people who do not seek to associate with other deaf people. That's all Im saying. I understand there is a bond between 2 deaf people due to "same obstacles" but that bond can easily be satisfied by only one other deaf person who was raised similar. One of my best friends is deaf like me, oral like me, raised like me. Maybe this is why I don't feel the need to seek out more deaf people? I want friends who have INTERESTS in common with me, deaf or not. Period. I don't particularly want to be friends with someone JUST because they are deaf... There is this guy at work who keeps visiting me almost everyday because I am the only other deaf one in the company.
 
Daredevel7 said:
What do you mean? This still wouldn't get me in contact with oral deaf people who do not seek other deaf people? I'm just saying, there is a good possibility that there is a significant unknown population of oral deaf people who do not seek to associate with other deaf people. That's all Im saying. I understand there is a bond between 2 deaf people due to "same obstacles" but that bond can easily be satisfied by only one other deaf person who was raised similar. One of my best friends is deaf like me, oral like me, raised like me. Maybe this is why I don't feel the need to seek out more deaf people? I want friends who have INTERESTS in common with me, deaf or not. Period. I don't particularly want to be friends with someone JUST because they are deaf... There is this guy at work who keeps visiting me almost everyday because I am the only other deaf one in the company.
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What I mean is how do u know that the oral deaf who became Deaf adults because they were unhappy socially if u havent learned ASL or be involved with the Deaf community?
 
shel90 said:
What I mean is how do u know that the oral deaf who became Deaf adults because they were unhappy socially if u havent learned ASL or be involved with the Deaf community?
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I don't mean to step on her toes but I think what Daredevil is saying is that she believes there are oral deaf adults who live in the hearing world. They don't join the Deaf community, and so you don't meet them. You meet the ones who hated being oral and so they learned ASL. That gives a skewed perspective. You never see the other side.
 
faire_jour said:
I don't mean to step on her toes but I think what Daredevil is saying is that she believes there are oral deaf adults who live in the hearing world. They don't join the Deaf community, and so you don't meet them. You meet the ones who hated being oral and so they learned ASL. That gives a skewed perspective. You never see the other side.
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Well, not true. Like I said, my friend said she doesnt mind having both. Many of us former oralers have stated we wished we had BOTH. We hated being pressured to live up to the hearing standards but wouldnt mind a healthy balance of both.
 
jillio said:
You'd be surprised how many oral deaf kids turn into Deaf adults.
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(almost there)
 
jillio said:
Yeah, I think the socialization has a lot to do with it, and is a very important component to satisfaction with life. Socialization is also a very important part of the educational experience. Maybe the reason that we haven't seen a lot of people like you is because there aren't that many of you around. There are many more who thought they were satisfied with the oral only environment until they had something else to compare it to.[/QUOTE]

I definitely don't deny that my social life most likely will be better if I was raised with ASL, surrounded by ASL. I mean, I don't get EVERYTHING that goes on in a group, thats for sure. And I might do better educationally. I just know, being the person I am, I'd do better in an oral environment for the following reasons:
1) Being in an oral only environment has definitely made me work harder, I think this contributes to my work ethnic.
2) It sounds like I'm bragging but I think I've made a small difference in a lot of hearing people's lives. I have a lot of really good friends but a lot of them started out really ignorant (not on purpose) with disabled people. This is more evident in my middle school/high school friends and teachers. I'm the first deaf student most of my teachers have ever had, and you'd be surprised how nervous/unsure they were with me. They felt better after I talked to them about how to accommodate for me (facing forward).
3) This is bad, but better career opportunities. It shouldn't be like that, but I have a better chance of getting into a good college coming from a regular school.

Maybe it's just me, maybe I just like being the "different" one, maybe I just like the attention. :D GOD IM SUCH AN ATTENTION WHORE.

Also I want to add.... some people are neglecting the fact that a lot of deaf schools simply weren't great. Isn't this why people are promoting better Deaf Ed? There is a difference between "I wish I learned ASL" and "I wish I went to a deaf school" Im sure there were great deaf schools in my time, but definitely not in Miami. I prefer being with my family than move away to go to a great deaf school.
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shel90 said:
Well, not true. Like I said, my friend said she doesnt mind having both. Many of us former oralers have stated we wished we had BOTH. We hated being pressured to live up to the hearing standards but wouldnt mind a healthy balance of both.
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But do you go to AG Bell conferences? Meet deaf adults who are perfectly happy with being oral only? Or do you choose to spend your time in the Deaf community with people who feel like you do?
 
Daredevel7 said:
jillio said:
Yeah, I think the socialization has a lot to do with it, and is a very important component to satisfaction with life. Socialization is also a very important part of the educational experience. Maybe the reason that we haven't seen a lot of people like you is because there aren't that many of you around. There are many more who thought they were satisfied with the oral only environment until they had something else to compare it to.[/QUOTE]

I definitely don't deny that my social life most likely will be better if I was raised with ASL, surrounded by ASL. I mean, I don't get EVERYTHING that goes on in a group, thats for sure. And I might do better educationally. I just know, being the person I am, I'd do better in an oral environment for the following reasons:
1) Being in an oral only environment has definitely made me work harder, I think this contributes to my work ethnic.
2) It sounds like I'm bragging but I think I've made a small difference in a lot of hearing people's lives. I have a lot of really good friends but a lot of them started out really ignorant (not on purpose) with disabled people. This is more evident in my middle school/high school friends and teachers. I'm the first deaf student most of my teachers have ever had, and you'd be surprised how nervous/unsure they were with me. They felt better after I talked to them about how to accommodate for me (facing forward).
3) This is bad, but better career opportunities. It shouldn't be like that, but I have a better chance of getting into a good college coming from a regular school.

Maybe it's just me, maybe I just like being the "different" one, maybe I just like the attention. :D GOD IM SUCH AN ATTENTION WHORE.
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and that's the view that hurts so many deaf people because hearing people look down on those who were raised using ASL. It is a view that I am fighting against.

It is like telling those ADers who went to Deaf schools that they dont have as many opportunities as you do.
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Bottesini said:
Safer and much easier to change when worn out or broken.
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1. I am not interested in attaining near-perfect hearing
2. CI is far more complicated than HA
3. Unnecessary risk
4. Lastly - I accepted who I am and I know my limitation. No need to waste my time and money on something that's broken and gone cuz I don't want to end up like Captain Ahab. My life is the proof of being non-CI.

:cool2:
 
Daredevel7 said:
jillio said:
Yeah, I think the socialization has a lot to do with it, and is a very important component to satisfaction with life. Socialization is also a very important part of the educational experience. Maybe the reason that we haven't seen a lot of people like you is because there aren't that many of you around. There are many more who thought they were satisfied with the oral only environment until they had something else to compare it to.[/QUOTE]

I definitely don't deny that my social life most likely will be better if I was raised with ASL, surrounded by ASL. I mean, I don't get EVERYTHING that goes on in a group, thats for sure. And I might do better educationally. I just know, being the person I am, I'd do better in an oral environment for the following reasons:
1) Being in an oral only environment has definitely made me work harder, I think this contributes to my work ethnic.
2) It sounds like I'm bragging but I think I've made a small difference in a lot of hearing people's lives. I have a lot of really good friends but a lot of them started out really ignorant (not on purpose) with disabled people. This is more evident in my middle school/high school friends and teachers. I'm the first deaf student most of my teachers have ever had, and you'd be surprised how nervous/unsure they were with me. They felt better after I talked to them about how to accommodate for me (facing forward).
3) This is bad, but better career opportunities. It shouldn't be like that, but I have a better chance of getting into a good college coming from a regular school.
Maybe it's just me, maybe I just like being the "different" one, maybe I just like the attention. :D GOD IM SUCH AN ATTENTION WHORE.

Also I want to add.... some people are neglecting the fact that a lot of deaf schools simply weren't great. Isn't this why people are promoting better Deaf Ed? There is a difference between "I wish I learned ASL" and "I wish I went to a deaf school" Im sure there were great deaf schools in my time, but definitely not in Miami. I prefer being with my family than move away to go to a great deaf school.
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You know, I'm not sure how accurrate that is. My son had no problem getting accepted to 3 universities, and chose to attend a major hearing university. He came from a deaf school.

And we admit students from deaf schools, as well. They are usually better able to cope with the stresses of that freshman year than are the students that have been mainstreamed.
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jillio said:
Daredevel7 said:
You know, I'm not sure how accurrate that is. My son had no problem getting accepted to 3 universities, and chose to attend a major hearing university. He came from a deaf school.
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:cheers: to your son!

My brother is going to a private university..he came from a deaf school.

One deaf guy from a deaf school got his Master's from George Washington University

One of my friends is pursuing his PhD from American University and he came from Peru not knowing any English at the age of 10, went to a Deaf school here in America.

I could go on and on...

people need to stop looking down on Deaf people who use ASL or go to Deaf schools. Geez!
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faire_jour said:
But do you go to AG Bell conferences? Meet deaf adults who are perfectly happy with being oral only? Or do you choose to spend your time in the Deaf community with people who feel like you do?
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How many A.G. Bellers do you think ever attend an NAD conference? They won't associate with the lower level signing deaf. Like I said, many think they are satisfied because they have never had anything else to compare it to. Keep yourself locked in that little box, and you don't realize there is a big world out there that you are missing out on.
 
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