I got up early to talk to my mom this morning. Not sure she likes to be awaken this early. Please read the whole thing first before posting.
We need to remember the time in history. I was born in 1968, I started school in 1974. There was not a lot of services available for a child with a mild-moderate hearing loss. Occurring to my mom, she did try and get me into a Deaf school. Yes, I did not meet the criteria at the time. She believes she tried other resources within the Deaf community. She was not sure why she did not use those services. it could be she was not assisted, welcomed, or she felt scare. She can't rememeber all the details. You have to remember from past post I said that the doctors and audies did not help her either. I went from doctor to doctor to find out what was "wrong" with me. I went 7 years without a HA. This is during the most important part of languge development. So now she made her choice.
My mom chose to raise me oral. She chose to help me to develop my language and speech skills. She did not turn her back on anything, she just chose to do it her way. Even when we moved from upstate New York(Kingston area) to rural Georgia, she kept her outlook. When I was fitted with my hearing aid she make sure that the teachers knew what to do. She made sure I was in the front of the room and I asked for help when needed. A little background - Mom was a single parent most of the time with 3 girls. We were lower income. Both of my older sisters are gifted(both test and placed in gifted programs.) Honestly school was not difficult except for spelling.
As my hearing took a turn in high school, she was not sure where to turn so she went to Voc Reh. They worked with me in my Senior year and college. Remember I'm not failing school, I was active in school and mainstreamed. I did not use an FM system or any accommodations. My teachers looked out for me, by giving me the notes from other students and just taking care of me. Even with a profound - severe hearing loss I took Spanish. My Spanish teacher would sit in front of me and make the words so I could understand. During her planning period she would take time to do this. I asked she did not question. I was raised with to accept my hearing loss and ask for help as needed.
I do not blame the Deaf Community or even the Hearing Community. My mom made her choice to raise me oral because of her experiences back 35 years ago. To me it does not matter if it was a hearing person at the Deaf School or a deaf person, my mom did not feel she got the services she needed for me. So she created what I needed.
I became a regular education teacher back 15 years ago for one simple reason, I wanted to make sure all children were treated with respect in my classroom and in my school. I wanted to make sure no child was placed in the back of the room, no child was treated differently because of what he wore to school, and parents felt welcome to ask questions and help from me. I changed to special ed so I could assist the all students more. I used my personal experience to make a change in the educational system.
Now as an adult that is completely deaf with these wonderful CIs, I did seek out the Deaf Community. My first stop is here! Now there are two conclusions - one the door can be shut on me or two I can be welcomed in with a vary of resources I need to assist my family and myself. At this point It can go either way.
Vallee,
You are the product of the system 35 years ago. I think we all agree that 35 years ago, the system did not function well, and was in the process of recovering from 100 years of forced oralism that was instituted with the Milan Congress and solidified through the philosophies of A.G. Bell. This is a part of history that makes the Deaf community so opposed to practices that resemble anything close to those discriminatory and oppressive policies.
No one faults your mother for doing what she did 35 years ago. It was a different time and different attitudes toward deafness were prevalent. We did not have the advantage of the modern research that has since been done in the field of deaf ed, nor of the linguistic research that has been done.
Just as AG Bell's theories on genetics that were used as justification for his soft eugenics movement have proven to be flawed, so have many of the educational, liguistic, and psychosocial developmental theories since proven to be flawed and innacurrate. I have seen untold new developments in the time since my son was diagnosed in 1987.
The time to let go of outdated ways of thinking and restrictive educational policies is way past due. Yes, these things happened in the past, and they are collectively responsible for many of the attitudes and values of the deaf/Deaf population today. And rightly so. Those attitudes and values are the foundation on which the push for better education and increased acceptance and tolerance of the Deaf community as a cultural and linguistic minority as opposed to a disabled population. That is the movement to which shel and I both feel a strong affiliation.
Like shel, I agree that if you are truly seeking out the Deaf Community, you would benefit from getting to know deaf/Deaf people by venturing out into other threads. Chat with these people one on one without the conflict of CI coming into the discussion. Find out what they are thinking, what they are feeling, how they live their lives on a daily basis, and learn a bit of the history on which the concept of Deaf Culture is built.
I know from personal experience that the Nashville area has a strong and vital signing Deaf community. They made themselves readily available to me when my son was diagnosed at the very hospital where you received your CIs. When he was attending preschool at Bill Wilkerson Speech and Hearing Center, the League for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing (then known as the League for the Hearing Impaired for PC reasons) those Deaf indiviuals were my teachers, my mentors, and my friends. And the fact that the League has changed its name is evidence of the push to recognize the Deaf community on their own cultural and linguistic terms that has occured just since my son was diagnosed 20 years ago. Reach out to them. They are there and they are available. Approach them on their terms, and I think you will be pleasantly surprised. Ask them to teach you about their world, to share their experiences with you, and they will gladly comply with your request. However, I must also caution you, if you approach them with the defensiveness that you have often shown in your posts here, you will be met with the same reaction you have gotten here. You cannot ask to be accepted into a different culture unless you are willing to venture in with an open mind. If one wants to learn about a different culture, one must approach the learning experience understanding first and foremost that the members of that culture are the true experts and teachers, and you are the student who needs to be taught. That is the basic premise of any cross cultural study, and the foundation of participant/observer methods used in anthropological studies of other cultures. And it is the only way that true learning and understanding is accomplished.
Shel. Why is it he insists on accusing others of doing what he himself is guilty of?
