3 year old with cochears

[deafgal001]

If parents want to shut the door, fine, but they are far more likely to watch their child wishing and praying to be cured (and that day may never come in ther lifetime) and hating to be deaf. Their self esteem get hurt.

 

[deafgal001]

anyway, if you want your child to resent CIs or hearing aids, a good way to do it is keep forcing him to wear it even if it is very uncomfortable.

 

[GrendelQ]

Wirelessly posted

anyway, if you want your child to resent CIs or hearing aids, a good way to do it is keep forcing him to wear it even if it is very uncomfortable.

Agreed!

 

[jillio]

If parents want to shut the door, fine, but they are far more likely to watch their child wishing and praying to be cured (and that day may never come in ther lifetime) and hating to be deaf. Their self esteem get hurt.

Yeppers. I wouldn't need to be working with the deaf kids I do see if this wasn't true.

 

[jillio]

Wirelessly posted

I have never said the child must continue to wear it -- where did you get that?

Where did you get it? The rest of us got it from a post from someone you constantly jump in to defend.

 

[GrendelQ]

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Wirelessly posted

I have never said the child must continue to wear it -- where did you get that?

Where did you get it? The rest of us got it from a post from someone you constantly jump in to defend.

What does that even mean? Some other poster told you I have a whole different perspective than what I've posted here? I don't think so.

 

[AlleyCat]

That's not at all what she said.

 

[jillio]

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What does that even mean? Some other poster told you I have a whole different perspective than what I've posted here? I don't think so.

Uh, no. Misreading again.

 

[GrendelQ]

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What does that even mean? Some other poster told you I have a whole different perspective than what I've posted here? I don't think so.

Uh, no. Misreading again.

Please point me to the post you refer to in which you claim i told the op that her child needed to wear the CI if there was pain or discomfort? I think you are very much mistaken.

 

[taylorjade.]

Welcome. I do hope that you will stick around and understand that no one is militant against CIs. People, quite simply, are relating their personal experience of being deaf. Whether they would or would not choose a CI for themselves or their child is dependent upon what they have experienced living as a deaf person. They are the experts on the topic.

Frequently around here, when someone states the actuality and the drawbacks of a CI, they are labeled anti-CI. Nothing is further from the truth. I do hope you don't buy into that. It will interfere with the ability you have to learn from the deaf.

Try and see it this way: You say you have provided your child with the opportunity to experience things he would not be able to experience. That is understandable, because you experience your world through your auditory sense. However, that is only true for those that have experience with experiencing the world that way. A deaf child is not "missing the opportunity" to experience everything this world has to offer without a CI or an HA or any artificial devise to compensate for their lack of auditory sense. They experience life as fully as a hearing child does...they simply experience the same thing in a different way. Hearing is important to your perceptions because you are hearing. If you loose it, you will miss it, and will have to find alternate ways to experience your world. But a deaf child just naturally adapts, and experiences their world in a different way just because they have the need to do that. But their world is not missing anything. Nor are they missing opportunity. They simply experience things differently. The problems arise for deaf children when that natural adaptation is not respected, and we try to force them into a facsimile of a hearing child.

When one states that a child does not have the opportunity to experience fully the world around them, it also says that hearing is superior to not hearing. That is what people object to. There are many other statements that communicate the same message. And it is offensive to be told that you are not as complete a person as one with hearing is. I'm sure you can understand that.

So rather than saying "giving an opportunity to experience something he cannot" perhaps you could say, "providing an opportunity to experience something in the only way I know to experience it." Because the actual truth of the matter is, a deaf child, or a deaf adult, can have any experience that anyone else can have. They just experience it through a different sensory channel.

thank you for responding, sorry it took me so long to say anything i have been having some trouble logging on and then of course life gets in the way.

i do understand how it can be seen as offensive, but i don't think it is usually intended that way..
you're right i do see it as him missing an opportunity because that is the way i experience the world, and you're also right about him being able to experience life fully and completely without sound,
my decision to have him implanted was because i saw it as an opportunity for him to have every option. i don't believe he will suffer without sound, he is a very happy and very intelligent little guy and i know [i won't say adapted because he was born with almost no sound (115 db)] he has done very well without it. i simply want him to be able to grow up and have the option of speaking and hearing, or if he chooses, not hearing and using sign.

i definately respect that my son is deaf, i think that it would be a horrible thing not to, he has different needs than a hearing child, which is why i joined this site, and why we are involved in programs that will help me to understand what those different needs are.

i am not trying to change my son, just giving him all the options i can provide so that he can eventually decide for himself what works best for him, and i think that is usually the same for parents who go the CI route with their children.

 

[taylorjade.]

Deafdyke, I found your advise very explanatory, thank you for that. (I didn't Quoted it, sorry, but I am agreeing with you) I do feel that age is much to young for CI. Sign Language is an option and beautiful language, until the child is of age to give some discerning feedback on how he choices to "Hear" in his world.

and what if you are wanting the child to have the option of speech?
there is a window of time in which you can do that which is the reason for many young children with CIs

 

[jillio]

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Please point me to the post you refer to in which you claim i told the op that her child needed to wear the CI if there was pain or discomfort? I think you are very much mistaken.

I can't. I never said that you told the OP that. Strange how the hearing folk around here have such trouble comprehending my use of English, but the deaf have no problem at all.

 

[jillio]

and what if you are wanting the child to have the option of speech?
there is a window of time in which you can do that which is the reason for many young children with CIs

Nope. That window of time does not just disappear. Misinterpretation of the whole concept of developmental windows.

 

[deafgal001]

and what if you are wanting the child to have the option of speech?
there is a window of time in which you can do that which is the reason for many young children with CIs

Plenty of deaf have speech. it's rare to find one who don't know how to speak, rather with HAs, CI, or none at all. They choose signing anyway, but they do have speech.

Is it common for new generation of parents to think deaf can not speak without CI?

 

[jillio]

Plenty of deaf have speech. it's rare to find one who don't know how to speak, rather with HAs, CI, or none at all. They choose signing anyway, but they do have speech.

Is it common for new generation of parents to think deaf can not speak without CI?

Very common. It is also common for them to believe that the kid has to be implanted as early as possible for them to be able to speak. But you know, the CI was never intended to facilitate speech. It's purpose is to assist hearing.

 

[Beowulf]

Very common. It is also common for them to believe that the kid has to be implanted as early as possible for them to be able to speak. But you know, the CI was never intended to facilitate speech. It's purpose is to assist hearing.

That is sacreligious!
You have an agenda and are desperate! Cutting a child open to help him or her hear is but one of many ways to raise it! You don't get it!

 

[jillio]

That is sacreligious!
You have an agenda and are desperate! Cutting a child open to help him or her hear is but one of many ways to raise it! You don't get it!

Well, I guess I've been told!!:P

 

[faire_jour]

Where in the world have I stepped all over a deaf child's experience? I don't see any deaf children posting on here. All I see are parents giving their second hand perception of what a deaf child's experience is. I deal, face to face, with deaf children on a daily basis. And I give their perspective of their experience the utmost validity. Just as I give the utmost validity to deaf adults perspective based on having been deaf chiildren. You are confusing your experience with a deaf child's experience.

Regarding the "I am personally against CIs" quote you are re-quoting, that was taken out of context and edited. So much so that it can't even be considered a quote. But I do find it quite telling that you accept the wording of another audist hearing parent before you accept the word of a hearing person who takes a deaf perspective.

I have yet to see any deaf adult that disrupts a deaf child's opportunity for communicating. I have, however, seen numerous hearing parents do such.

Your post indicates beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are incapable of transferring that extreme sensitivity to have to anything that is said about hearing parents into empathy for the sensitivity the deaf have to various statements made about the deaf. You are still justifying the fact that you, in several posts, questioned a deaf individuals right to their feelings and their opinions in a place where it should be safe for them to express whatever feelings they have.

I can assure you that the purpose of this forum was never to give opportunity for the hearing to have yet another arena to force their opinions on the deaf.

And what about the Deaf and deaf parents who choose Cis for their children? I know several deaf families who have chosen implants and oral schools for their children, are they "disrupting a deaf child's opportunity for communication"?

 

[faire_jour]

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Please point me to the post you refer to in which you claim i told the op that her child needed to wear the CI if there was pain or discomfort? I think you are very much mistaken.

Exactly. Every single post started with "make sure the setting are right and that the CI is NOT causing pain", and that the first line of defense needs to always make sure nothing is wrong with the equipment or settings BEFORE taking any other action.

 

[Beowulf]

And what about the Deaf and deaf parents who choose Cis for their children? I know several deaf families who have chosen implants and oral schools for their children, are they "disrupting a deaf child's opportunity for communication"?

Yeah, riiiiiiight.