3 year old with cochears

[shel90]

One of my first realizations when the audi gave me my son's diagnosis was that nothing had changed for him. He was just fine with this. It was me who needed to deal with my feelings, and not project them onto him. I was the one that things had changed for.

Awww..that's sweet.

 

[jillio]

Awww..that's sweet.

Just my way of saying that I needed to deal with my feelings and worries about him being deaf. They were my issues to deal with, not his. He was perfectly fine with his hearing status. And I would venture to say that holds true for the vast majority of hearing parents and prelingually deaf kids. Parents have many more issues to deal with than the kids do. The problem is they get so focused on the kid that they never deal with their issues. They spend all their energy and time trying to mediate the kid's deafness. And when they don't deal with their issues, it is reflected in the way they relate to their child. Eventually, the parents' issues are pushed onto the child.

Of course, there are those that will say they never had a problem with their kid being deaf and have no issues about it. I stand by my statement, however. Adjustment to disability is a well documented phenomena. The support group I facilitate for hearing parents of deaf kids has always had more applicants than we can take at any one time. And the parents are very honest about their feelings. They all describe the need to grieve for what they lost (their idea of who their child would be) in order to accept and embrace the child they have.

BTW: my son was diagnosed on my birthday. At first, I thought it was a horrible thing to hear on my birthday. But before long, I realized that I had been given a precious gift that day, because without it, my life would not be enriched the way it has been.

 

[Hohtopics]

My grandmother in the 1930s was sent away because she was messy. At 79 years old, she has a serious issue with keeping an extremely extremely clean house. It is amazing how these things happen.

Are you implying that your grandmother was in her 70's during the 1930's? Or that she's currently 79?

 

[deafgal001]

Wirelessly posted

My grandmother in the 1930s was sent away because she was messy. At 79 years old, she has a serious issue with keeping an extremely extremely clean house. It is amazing how these things happen.

Are you implying that your grandmother was in her 70's during the 1930's? Or that she's currently 79?

Shel must be an really old lady if her grandma was in her 70's in 1930.

 

[Oddball]

So, the quote that PFH is using in his signature line is accurate. You would decide despite the fact that you are not experiencing what the child is experiencing and is communicating to you that it creates discomfort.

I find it sad when hearing becomes more important that the well being of the child.

Yep, it is very sad. Some hearing parents are ignorant. I feel so pity for them.

 

[Oddball]

Let's say someone were to say "I do respect if someone chooses to use ASL as an adult. But children using ASL ... it makes me cringe." You wouldn't see that as anti-ASL?

Allright, I am she. Obviously, you misunderstood my statement.

I should have clarified for you once.

I do support Deaf or HH adults getting CI because they are being aware of the risks of CI. Hearing parents made decisions to have their own children CI without their informed decisions...that makes me cringe. What about children's rights?? What if they tell their parents that they hate CI? Some parents ignore their children's pleas. Look at Mathew Fowler's video, for example.

For example, I do want to get breast implants? No, because I am aware of some risks of getting breast implants. I am happy with my boobs. Silicone or saline implants are dangerous, leaking, or causing some illness/infections. Same goes with CI. Look at other video I posted. The guy had his CI removed because it gave him massive headaches/migraines. Guess what? His CI magnet was MOLDED!! Eww.

I totally support Deaf children/adults using ASL whether if they have CI or not. Sign language, visual cues, and oral communication combined, that's fine with me as long as Deaf children/adults can understand what it is being said to them. I am against ORAL ONLY APPROACH, period.


That's all I am saying for now.

 

[GrendelQ]

Allright, I am she. Obviously, you misunderstood my statement.

I should have clarified for you once.

I do support Deaf or HH adults getting CI because they are being aware of the risks of CI. Hearing parents made decisions to have their own children CI without their informed decisions...that makes me cringe. What about children's rights?? What if they tell their parents that they hate CI? Some parents ignore their children's pleas. Look at Mathew Fowler's video, for example.

For example, I do want to get breast implants? No, because I am aware of some risks of getting breast implants. I am happy with my boobs. Silicone or saline implants are dangerous, leaking, or causing some illness/infections. Same goes with CI. Look at other video I posted. The guy had his CI removed because it gave him massive headaches/migraines. Guess what? His CI magnet was MOLDED!! Eww.

I totally support Deaf children/adults using ASL whether if they have CI or not. Sign language, visual cues, and oral communication combined, that's fine with me as long as Deaf children/adults can understand what it is being said to them. I am against ORAL ONLY APPROACH, period.


That's all I am saying for now.

Thanks Oddball, I think you were very clear to begin with -- I understood your position from the start. There's nothing evil about being opposed to CIs, and I'm not sure why people are insisting that everyone here is open to CIs when it's certainly not the case. I don't object to you holding that perspective at all, even if it differs with an approach I'm taking. I think your view is valid and you have every right to apply it to yourself and your children.

Whether or not it's relevant in a thread about a deaf child who already has CIs is a different issue.

 

[jillio]

Are you implying that your grandmother was in her 70's during the 1930's? Or that she's currently 79?

I thought you were an honors student? Her meaning is very clear in both context and syntax.:roll:

 

[jillio]

Yep, it is very sad. Some hearing parents are ignorant. I feel so pity for them.

Yeah. But I feel more pity for their kids. They are the one's that end up paying the consequences.

 

[jillio]

Thanks Oddball, I think you were very clear to begin with -- I understood your position from the start. There's nothing evil about being opposed to CIs, and I'm not sure why people are insisting that everyone here is open to CIs when it's certainly not the case. I don't object to you holding that perspective at all, even if it differs with an approach I'm taking. I think your view is valid and you have every right to apply it to yourself and your children.

Whether or not it's relevant in a thread about a deaf child who already has CIs is a different issue.

Why wouldn't that opinion be valid in this thread. It is, afterall, a deaf forum. Every deaf opinion is valid here. How can a hearing person even consider telling a deaf person that their opinion is not valid on a deaf forum?

 

[shel90]

Thanks Oddball, I think you were very clear to begin with -- I understood your position from the start. There's nothing evil about being opposed to CIs, and I'm not sure why people are insisting that everyone here is open to CIs when it's certainly not the case. I don't object to you holding that perspective at all, even if it differs with an approach I'm taking. I think your view is valid and you have every right to apply it to yourself and your children.

Whether or not it's relevant in a thread about a deaf child who already has CIs is a different issue.

Oddball isnt against CIs themselves. She is against the idea of children getting them which is totally different.

 

[jillio]

Oddball isnt against CIs themselves. She is against the idea of children getting them which is totally different.

Right. And it is not so much the CI, as the reason for the CI and the consequences of the CI.

 

[GrendelQ]

Why wouldn't that opinion be valid in this thread. It is, afterall, a deaf forum. Every deaf opinion is valid here. How can a hearing person even consider telling a deaf person that their opinion is not valid on a deaf forum?

Valid opinion -- I said exactly that -- what hearing person has said otherwise? And I'm not a stickler for every comment being a direct answer to the OP -- conversation takes twists and turns, but my question is, how it relevant to the OP's question and the discussion about troubleshooting? In the ASL-related threads, you don't see people pipe up in every conversation about how to learn ASL to say: "Hey, just want you to know I'm against ASL and think kids should have a chance to choose it when they are teenagers, but not as toddlers. No offense."

 

[GrendelQ]

Right. And it is not so much the CI, as the reason for the CI and the consequences of the CI.

But, Oddball and you can't know either of those -- motivation or outcome -- for those individuals who choose CIs, can you?

 

[Bottesini]

But, Oddball and you can't know either of those -- motivation or outcome -- for those individuals who choose CIs, can you?

Why couldn't they, since they both work with people with CI? (Poor outcome)

 

[jillio]

Valid opinion -- I said exactly that -- what hearing person has said otherwise? And I'm not a stickler for every comment being a direct answer to the OP -- conversation takes twists and turns, but my question is, how it relevant to the OP's question and the discussion about troubleshooting? In the ASL-related threads, you don't see people pipe up in every conversation about how to learn ASL to say: "Hey, just want you to know I'm against ASL and think kids should have a chance to choose it when they are teenagers, but not as toddlers. No offense."

I think your view is valid and you have every right to apply it to yourself and your children.

Whether or not it's relevant in a thread about a deaf child who already has CIs is a different issue.

Her view is valid (and relevant) in this thread, not just for herself and her children, but because this is a deaf forum.

Think about how many times deaf people have been told by by hearing people that their input, opinion, thoughts, feelings, etc. about anything to do with deafness wasn't valid. Think how many times their input has simply been ignored when it comes to anything to do with deafness. And now, they have a deaf forum where they can express those opinions and have them validated, and here comes one more hearing person that continually challenges the appropriateness of what they say about deafness. As sensitive as you are to things that are said about hearing parents, I would think you could understand this.

 

[GrendelQ]

And now, they have a deaf forum where they can express those opinions and have them validated, and here comes one more hearing person that continually challenges the appropriateness of what they say about deafness.

This is not a forum just for those who oppose CIs, with all others invading. This is a forum for all members of the deaf community, including those who have or are open to CIs, whether for adults or children.

This thread -- this conversation -- is not a debate about whether or not to implant, it's a request for specific advice concerning a child who already has CIs. How is it not violating the validity of those who are deaf with CIs or parent deaf with CIs to interrupt every conversation about CIs with statements of opposition? I don't see the oral deaf in this group breaking into conversations about learning ASL, shouting "I'm personally against ASL. But no offense." But it seems appropriate to you to, as a hearing person, to step all over a the validity of a deaf child's experience? Is it appropriate for a deaf adult to invalidate the experience of a deaf child and disrupt any opportunity for communicating? Is saying "I'm personally against CIs" in this conversation your idea of imparting wisdom, making connections between the deaf community and this child?

 

[AlleyCat]

This is not a forum just for those who oppose CIs, with all others invading. This is a forum for all members of the deaf community, including those who have or are open to CIs, whether for adults or children.

This thread -- this conversation -- is not a debate about whether or not to implant, it's a request for specific advice concerning a child who already has CIs. How is it not violating the validity of those who are deaf with CIs or parent deaf with CIs to interrupt every conversation about CIs with statements of opposition? I don't see the oral deaf in this group breaking into conversations about learning ASL, shouting "I'm personally against ASL. But no offense." But it seems appropriate to you to, as a hearing person, to step all over a the validity of a deaf child's experience? Is it appropriate for a deaf adult to invalidate the experience of a deaf child and disrupt any opportunity for communicating? Is saying "I'm personally against CIs" in this conversation your idea of imparting wisdom, making connections between the deaf community and this child?

You know why? Because learning ASL is something that doesn't require major surgery. There is an actual reason some are not crazy on the idea of a CI. The two -- learning ASL and undergoing major surgery simply cannot be compared.

That's why we are entitled to our valid, yes, valid opinions.

 

[jillio]

This is not a forum just for those who oppose CIs, with all others invading. This is a forum for all members of the deaf community, including those who have or are open to CIs, whether for adults or children.

This thread -- this conversation -- is not a debate about whether or not to implant, it's a request for specific advice concerning a child who already has CIs. How is it not violating the validity of those who are deaf with CIs or parent deaf with CIs to interrupt every conversation about CIs with statements of opposition? I don't see the oral deaf in this group breaking into conversations about learning ASL, shouting "I'm personally against ASL. But no offense." But it seems appropriate to you to, as a hearing person, to step all over a the validity of a deaf child's experience? Is it appropriate for a deaf adult to invalidate the experience of a deaf child and disrupt any opportunity for communicating? Is saying "I'm personally against CIs" in this conversation your idea of imparting wisdom, making connections between the deaf community and this child?

Where in the world have I stepped all over a deaf child's experience? I don't see any deaf children posting on here. All I see are parents giving their second hand perception of what a deaf child's experience is. I deal, face to face, with deaf children on a daily basis. And I give their perspective of their experience the utmost validity. Just as I give the utmost validity to deaf adults perspective based on having been deaf chiildren. You are confusing your experience with a deaf child's experience.

Regarding the "I am personally against CIs" quote you are re-quoting, that was taken out of context and edited. So much so that it can't even be considered a quote. But I do find it quite telling that you accept the wording of another audist hearing parent before you accept the word of a hearing person who takes a deaf perspective.

I have yet to see any deaf adult that disrupts a deaf child's opportunity for communicating. I have, however, seen numerous hearing parents do such.

Your post indicates beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are incapable of transferring that extreme sensitivity to have to anything that is said about hearing parents into empathy for the sensitivity the deaf have to various statements made about the deaf. You are still justifying the fact that you, in several posts, questioned a deaf individuals right to their feelings and their opinions in a place where it should be safe for them to express whatever feelings they have.

I can assure you that the purpose of this forum was never to give opportunity for the hearing to have yet another arena to force their opinions on the deaf.

 

[Banjo]

I have yet to see any deaf adult that disrupts a deaf child's opportunity for communicating. I have, however, seen numerous hearing parents do such.

Oh man, that brought back a lot of memories. I knew a lot of people who went through with that. It's just not right.

Thankfully, my parents never would have done that to me.