3 year old with cochears

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posts from hell said:
I know.. I asked that question and view my signature... quite sad actually.
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I find it hearbreaking that a parent would be so detached from the clues the child is giving them. More focused on mode of communication and hearing than the comfort and security of their child. Personally, I find it abusive. IMO.
 
faire_jour said:
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first of all, i said that i don't believe it would happen. If they are getting benefit, they aren't going to fight it. It just doesn't happen.

i would find out why they are fighting, at 3 they should be able to communicate. Then we would work to fix it. But no, it is not their decision.
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Ah well. I take comfort in the fact that you are in the minority.
 
faire_jour said:
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first of all, i said that i don't believe it would happen. If they are getting benefit, they aren't going to fight it. It just doesn't happen.

i would find out why they are fighting, at 3 they should be able to communicate. Then we would work to fix it. But no, it is not their decision.
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Benefit is subjective. A child that is rejecting does not perceive that they are getting benefit.

My son's audi swore he got "benefit" from his left aid. My son swore that it interferred with the discrimination in his right ear. I allowed him to go without the left aid, no matter what the audi said was beneficial. He was the one that lived with it daily. He was the one who knew. And, btw, he was 7 when this occurred.

Yeah, at 3 they should be able to communicate. Developmentally, they are ready to discuss their world in depth. Unfortunately, deaf children most often are unable to communicate at an age appropriate level because they have spent too long in an environment that does not fully address their language needs. This 3 year old appears to be communicating in the way he can. It is not that he isn't communicating...it is that no one is paying attention to his message.
 
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Some kids get too much benefits. Which is why I threw my aids out the car window. I hated the sound of cars..according to my mom.

Listening with CI or HAs isn't always pleasant.
 
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deafgal001 said:
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Some kids get too much benefits. Which is why I threw my aids out the car window. I hated the sound of cars..according to my mom.
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Absolutely. Too many people see "benefit" in terms of dB and Hz only. Just because the audiogram looks better doesn't mean that the benefit is functional for the person.
 
If 3 years old girl's leg is broken, then our natural response would be to fix it, therefore it is natural to respond to fix "deafness" in that child.

BUT if that child cannot communicate using that fix, then it would be RECOMMENDED that sign language be used as an alternative.
 
LinuxGold said:
If 3 years old girl's leg is broken, then our natural response would be to fix it, therefore it is natural to respond to fix "deafness" in that child.

BUT if that child cannot communicate using that fix, then it would be RECOMMENDED that sign language be used as an alternative.
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Exactly!!
 
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I think it natural to fix if a child is in pain...CI or broken leg.
 
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jillio said:
faire_jour said:
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first of all, i said that i don't believe it would happen. If they are getting benefit, they aren't going to fight it. It just doesn't happen.

i would find out why they are fighting, at 3 they should be able to communicate. Then we would work to fix it. But no, it is not their decision.
Click to expand...

Benefit is subjective. A child that is rejecting does not perceive that they are getting benefit.

My son's audi swore he got "benefit" from his left aid. My son swore that it interferred with the discrimination in his right ear. I allowed him to go without the left aid, no matter what the audi said was beneficial. He was the one that lived with it daily. He was the one who knew. And, btw, he was 7 when this occurred.

Yeah, at 3 they should be able to communicate. Developmentally, they are ready to discuss their world in depth. Unfortunately, deaf children most often are unable to communicate at an age appropriate level because they have spent too long in an environment that does not fully address their language needs. This 3 year old appears to be communicating in the way he can. It is not that he isn't communicating...it is that no one is paying attention to his message.
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i din't define benefit to be in db. It is clearly an ongoing process to determine what the child needs. But no, if my child decided they wanted to reject something that i believed to be in their best interest, whether that be a CI, shoes, or ASL, i would be the adult, andmake the decision until they were old enough to make an informed decision.
 
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deafgal001 said:
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Some kids get too much benefits. Which is why I threw my aids out the car window. I hated the sound of cars..according to my mom.

Listening with CI or HAs isn't always pleasant.
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this is very common, especially with hearing aids. They amplify the background noise. I believe many parents take out their children's hearing aids in the car.
 
deafgal001 said:
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I think it natural to fix if a child is in pain...CI or broken leg.
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There you go. If your child was crying from an injury you would naturally want to attend to it. But if your child is crying from discomfort with an HA or a CI, they are expected to deal with it. Makes no sense to me. And I'm sure it is confusing as heck for the kid. Three year olds need to know when they signal distress, mom and dad will help.
 
faire_jour said:
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i din't define benefit to be in db. It is clearly an ongoing process to determine what the child needs. But no, if my child decided they wanted to reject something that i believed to be in their best interest, whether that be a CI, shoes, or ASL, i would be the adult, andmake the decision until they were old enough to make an informed decision.
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So, the quote that PFH is using in his signature line is accurate. You would decide despite the fact that you are not experiencing what the child is experiencing and is communicating to you that it creates discomfort.

I find it sad when hearing becomes more important that the well being of the child.
 
faire_jour said:
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this is very common, especially with hearing aids. They amplify the background noise. I believe many parents take out their children's hearing aids in the car.
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The issue is not what the parents do...it is what the childrendo.
Their actions communicate discomfort. The parent's reaction is a statement of their priorities.
 
jillio said:
Benefit is subjective. A child that is rejecting does not perceive that they are getting benefit.

My son's audi swore he got "benefit" from his left aid. My son swore that it interferred with the discrimination in his right ear. I allowed him to go without the left aid, no matter what the audi said was beneficial. He was the one that lived with it daily. He was the one who knew. And, btw, he was 7 when this occurred.

Yeah, at 3 they should be able to communicate. Developmentally, they are ready to discuss their world in depth. Unfortunately, deaf children most often are unable to communicate at an age appropriate level because they have spent too long in an environment that does not fully address their language needs. This 3 year old appears to be communicating in the way he can. It is not that he isn't communicating...it is that no one is paying attention to his message.
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I have always rejected my right ear HA because I could not make sense of the sounds that I heard.
 
I wanted to add that using positive reinforcement for a child wearing an aid or a CI that they have communicated discomfort about is a distorted use of positive reinforcement. First of all, you are attempting to reduce a behavior (removing the CI or crying) by using a technique that increases a behavior. Secondly, the message the child gets is "A good boy or girl does not communicate that something is wrong. You get treats for not telling. It is not okay to be sick or in pain. It is not okay to be deaf."
 
jillio said:
I wanted to add that using positive reinforcement for a child wearing an aid or a CI that they have communicated discomfort about is a distorted use of positive reinforcement. First of all, you are attempting to reduce a behavior (removing the CI or crying) by using a technique that increases a behavior. Secondly, the message the child gets is "A good boy or girl does not communicate that something is wrong. You get treats for not telling. It is not okay to be sick or in pain. It is not okay to be deaf."
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Exactly. I think most of us get this, even those without children.
 
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jillio said:
I wanted to add that using positive reinforcement for a child wearing an aid or a CI that they have communicated discomfort about is a distorted use of positive reinforcement. First of all, you are attempting to reduce a behavior (removing the CI or crying) by using a technique that increases a behavior. Secondly, the message the child gets is "A good boy or girl does not communicate that something is wrong. You get treats for not telling. It is not okay to be sick or in pain. It is not okay to be deaf."
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for the 3,000th time, if the child is in pain or feeling discomfort, that needs dealt with immediately. I am talking about a child whose device is working well and is having a behavior issue of pulling it off.
 
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I wish someone explain that to the judge when he threaten to take custody away from the father if he doesn't force his daughter to wear CI.
 
faire_jour said:
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for the 3,000th time, if the child is in pain or feeling discomfort, that needs dealt with immediately. I am talking about a child whose device is working well and is having a behavior issue of pulling it off.
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Positive reinforcement is not the way to address a behavior you want to reduce.

And how do you know the child is not in pain, especially when he does not have the language to communicate that? You judge by his behavior. Crying and pulling the CI off is indicative of a child without language reacting to pain and/or discomfort.
 
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