Will my daughter be accepted in the Deaf Community w/ a CI?

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shel90 said:
After reading everyone's comments about this issue I was fascinated by all the debates and points. I think everyone has good points.

Growing up, I didnt know sign language and I was brain-washed by my teachers that my intelligence was linked to my good speech and lipreading skills due to comments like "Oh you speak so well for a deaf child so u must be so smart." and blah blah..

So, of course, I grew up with the high and mighty attitude towards my brother's friends from his deaf school who used ASL because I could speak and lipread and didnt need sign language. It was like in my mind that sign language was for deaf people who werent intelligent. Of course, my brother got picked on by his friends for having a stuck up deaf sister who refused to learn sign language.

I went to ASU and took ASL classes as a foreign language requirement. Even as an adult, I still had the "superior" attidude so I had a big ego saying that ASL will be easy for me and I will pass it with flying colors. Oooops..I was soooo wrong but I am SO happy cuz it opened my eyes and changed my whole perspective. I was shocked that there was a deaf culture and that ASL is a language. So, I learned it but it was SO hard for me due to the grammatical differences. I tried to socialize with deaf people but of course without knowing it, I got a reputation in the Phx deaf community as my brother's stuck up sister so when I tried to socialize with them, they shut me out. Cant blame them. Now, they realize that I didnt know better and have accepted me. They are so happy that I know ASL now..LOL! I know my brother is THRILLED!!! Poor thing..it must have been so hard for him to grow up with me.

I regret not learning ASL and I resent the attitudes that my teachers and doctors modeled to me about deafness and sign language.

I am not against CI as long as the parents or doctors dont assume that the child is hearing just cuz he/she can speak or lipread well with the CI. I am glad that you are learning ASL for your daughter's sake. :h5: to you.
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Lexis mommy. I had this same debate several months ago. It is actually what led me to this site. Lilly is a CI kid and will soon be gettin gher other ear implanted. I have introduced her to sign, and deaf people that sign. You have doen your research, and know what is best for your child. Do it, dont look back. But try what I am doing, emphasize speech and listening, while exposing the kid to sign and deaf culture. That way, when she gets older, the decision will be hers whether or not she identifies with deaf culture, or not.
We have no way of controlling if deaf culture will accept our children. But, we are very capable of preparing our children to decide if they accept deaf culture.
 
Tell your daugther to screw deafhood. Your daughter will be a lot more receptive to the hearing society when she gets the CI. I can see that by better inclusion and employment opportunities for these people than those who want to stay in deafhood.

It aint worth anyone's time or energies to stay in the deafhood gulag once he/she decides to advance themselves to the best possible mitigation of hearing loss.

Trust me, deafhood is a gulag, like a stinky cesspool, aint worth my time to fix it or anyone elses effort to be part of it either.

Richard
 
Nesmuth said:
Tell your daugther to screw deafhood. Your daughter will be a lot more receptive to the hearing society when she gets the CI. I can see that by better inclusion and employment opportunities for these people than those who want to stay in deafhood.

It aint worth anyone's time or energies to stay in the deafhood gulag once he/she decides to advance themselves to the best possible mitigation of hearing loss.

Trust me, deafhood is a gulag, like a stinky cesspool, aint worth my time to fix it or anyone elses effort to be part of it either.

Richard
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huh? :eek3:
 
I doubt it. After I witnessed at Gally past few months, I do not think they will ever want to accept the change nor wanted to welcome those people who are somewhat different from them. They still call me hearing on forehead because I made a choice to marry a hearing man instead of deaf man. They do not accept it still to this day. But there is still hope for us to fit in. Good luck.
 
jazzy said:
I doubt it. After I witnessed at Gally past few months, I do not think they will ever want to accept the change nor wanted to welcome those people who are somewhat different from them. They still call me hearing on forehead because I made a choice to marry a hearing man instead of deaf man. They do not accept it still to this day. But there is still hope for us to fit in. Good luck.
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What about other deaf people who married hearing people? If those people dont accept you for marrying a hearing guy then they are not worth your time. I married a hearing guy for the 2nd time and some people think I dont like deaf men. Not true..I did date several deaf guys after my divorce but nothing clicked. I actually really fell for 2 of them but they didnt fall for me so no point in dwelling over them. My husband and I clicked so cant control our hearts, huh? Guess those who insulted u about it dont seem to understand that.
 
Nesmuth, give me a break! Did you know that the attitude that hoh kids are more hearing then deaf, is a HEARING thing? I AM hoh, and have been hoh ALL my life. I have always been pushed towards the hearing world.....and trust me that total and complete assimulation method has NEVER EVER worked except for a very few highly gifted indivduals. Sure ci kids can hear somewhat...but that doesn't mean that they might not benifit from deaf culture and ASL!
 
jazzy said:
I doubt it. After I witnessed at Gally past few months, I do not think they will ever want to accept the change nor wanted to welcome those people who are somewhat different from them. They still call me hearing on forehead because I made a choice to marry a hearing man instead of deaf man. They do not accept it still to this day. But there is still hope for us to fit in. Good luck.
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That's horrible, they need to grow up!!! There is nothing wrong with marrying a hearing person!
 
deafdyke said:
Nesmuth, give me a break! Did you know that the attitude that hoh kids are more hearing then deaf, is a HEARING thing? I AM hoh, and have been hoh ALL my life. I have always been pushed towards the hearing world.....and trust me that total and complete assimulation method has NEVER EVER worked except for a very few highly gifted indivduals. Sure ci kids can hear somewhat...but that doesn't mean that they might not benifit from deaf culture and ASL!
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Somewhat?

I guess you have no idea. :roll:
 
ummm Lucia, i know that the ci is amazing....BUT in many cases it's more like what a hoh person hears, then what a hearing person hears! They had an example at the museam of science......the example of what a CI person heard, was VERY different from the orgional recording. I mean god......even I don't hear like a hearing person, and i've only got a conductive loss. Even the people at CI central aka Hearing Excange admit that sucess varies tremendously, from only being able to hear enviormental sounds to almost hearing, and every hearing state in between!
 
deafdyke said:
ummm Lucia, i know that the ci is amazing....BUT in many cases it's more like what a hoh person hears, then what a hearing person hears! They had an example at the museam of science......the example of what a CI person heard, was VERY different from the orgional recording. I mean god......even I don't hear like a hearing person, and i've only got a conductive loss. Even the people at CI central aka Hearing Excange admit that sucess varies tremendously, from only being able to hear enviormental sounds to almost hearing, and every hearing state in between!
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You'd have to have a CI and then you'd have to get used to how you hear with a CI (suppose if you didn't have a conductive loss, that is) No, it's not the same, but I wouldn't say "somewhat". With the CI I hear at 30-35-40 db. No, not same as hearing person, but it is rather good for a CI.
 
deafdyke said:
ummm Lucia, i know that the ci is amazing....BUT in many cases it's more like what a hoh person hears, then what a hearing person hears! ..............
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Actually, deafDyke,
From everything you write, you have no idea.
You seen to see CI as an extended HA. As if it works the same way.
They don't.

About the science museum... sometimes scientists have hearing people listen to a sound that is produced with splitting up the original sound in 16 "electrodes". The result is a "metal" sound.
What they forget is the BRAIN.
When my daughter hears a word, she will repeat it in the same way. Not with a metal sound, but the same.
HAd she interpreted a metal sound, then she might understand what it means, but her pronounciation would be distorded.... IT IS NOT !!

So do not let a simulation confuse you. People that listen to this forget the brain....
 
Ok if a CI works so great then why do we have deaf kids with CI at my school who have NO listening skills and rely on ASL only? Even the speech teachers say that those kids have no auditory comprehension. I believe the success of the CI varies from each individual. It doesnt work for everyone. My friend got a CI 10 years ago at 18 years old and she doesnt use it at all cuz she felt it didnt benefit her.

I have to agree with deafdyke on this one.
 
No one is saying that the CI works every time or works the same in every kid. There are CI failures. That fact is not beind disputed. What is being disputed is how D/D is interpriting the success/failure rates of CI kids. You work in a school for the deaf right? If I remembwer correctly, it is a sign based school. With that being said, how many of the CI kids get a CI and stay at the school? How many kids have a successful CI and choose to get an education in which the preferred method of communication is sign? Now how many kids there have had CI, undergone speech therapy, and after fighting the good fight, the CI was considered a failure?
The point I am trying to make is that I would assume that if a kid with a CI is at a school where the main commo is sign, it is probably a safe bet that the CI did not work in that particular kid. That is why they are at that school. If this assumption is correct, you would then see a disproportional amount of kids that are considered a CI failure. In your school, you would see more of the CI failures ( who are the vast minority when looking at success/failure rates of CI kids). You would not see the ones who are considerd a success because they are in either a oral deaf ed school, or mainstreamed.
 
May I jump in for one min, my sister taught me something about being big difference between hoh and hearing. She was hoh for many years till they found out she had some hearing loss then she had a surgery on both ears. She was so shocked to learn she missed so much when she was hoh then now as a hearing. She said hoh and hearing are not same thing. I guess it goes same for CI since CI are not same as 100 percent hearing but better than being deaf. Then again I do not know cuz I do not wear CI.
 
shel90 said:
What about other deaf people who married hearing people? If those people dont accept you for marrying a hearing guy then they are not worth your time. I married a hearing guy for the 2nd time and some people think I dont like deaf men. Not true..I did date several deaf guys after my divorce but nothing clicked. I actually really fell for 2 of them but they didnt fall for me so no point in dwelling over them. My husband and I clicked so cant control our hearts, huh? Guess those who insulted u about it dont seem to understand that.
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I have no idea about other deaf people who married to hearing who deal with this kind, only my experience with some deaf people who had problems with my being married to hearing man. It hurts me deeply when they called me hearing on forehead. I did not ask for it nor them to call me this way. I happen to be being myself and I like this way. Those who insulted me are very deaf culturalists, I guess they are not ready for new era for younger generations. Now I am wondering about deaf children with CI, will they be part of it or not. Thanks for making me feeling better. :)
 
Lillys dad said:
No one is saying that the CI works every time or works the same in every kid. There are CI failures. That fact is not beind disputed. What is being disputed is how D/D is interpriting the success/failure rates of CI kids. You work in a school for the deaf right? If I remembwer correctly, it is a sign based school. With that being said, how many of the CI kids get a CI and stay at the school? How many kids have a successful CI and choose to get an education in which the preferred method of communication is sign? Now how many kids there have had CI, undergone speech therapy, and after fighting the good fight, the CI was considered a failure?
The point I am trying to make is that I would assume that if a kid with a CI is at a school where the main commo is sign, it is probably a safe bet that the CI did not work in that particular kid. That is why they are at that school. If this assumption is correct, you would then see a disproportional amount of kids that are considered a CI failure. In your school, you would see more of the CI failures ( who are the vast minority when looking at success/failure rates of CI kids). You would not see the ones who are considerd a success because they are in either a oral deaf ed school, or mainstreamed.
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My school is now incorporating spoken English during instruction time to meet the CI students' needs. There are 3 or 4 in my dept that are doing well and there are about 6 that dont use them and rely on ASL 100% so I would say it is half and half. Even the ones who are doing well with spoken English still need to rely on ASL from time to time especially when introduced to new concepts.

I was called an " oral success" by being mainstreamed but looking back, I know I missed out a lot. I wonder if I wasnt deaf or if I had some visual communication, I would have done better in some areas especially with calculus and chemistry? In my heart, I believe I would have done better if I didnt miss out so much. Also, I learned that I was labeled as socially immature growing up...well, duh..I did miss out a lot during socializing so I didnt really mature as fast as my hearing peers did. I was usually the last one to learn things.

That is my experience and that's how I formed the opinion that deaf children should be provided with the full toolbox. If a CI can make a deaf child have full access to the spoken language, then that's great for the child. Just would be nice to have ASL too.
 
jazzy said:
I have no idea about other deaf people who married to hearing who deal with this kind, only my experience with some deaf people who had problems with my being married to hearing man. It hurts me deeply when they called me hearing on forehead. I did not ask for it nor them to call me this way. I happen to be being myself and I like this way. Those who insulted me are very deaf culturalists, I guess they are not ready for new era for younger generations. Now I am wondering about deaf children with CI, will they be part of it or not. Thanks for making me feeling better. :)
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What I mean...do u have any deaf friends that are married to hearing people? Like find people who have more in common with u?

Glad that I helped to make u feel better. :) I went thru being called "hearing" at Gallaudet because my signing skills were at beginning level and it did hurt. I didnt understand why I was rejected by some people but after starting to see the whole picture, I stopped worrying about it.

I think the CI children will be part of the the evolution of deaf culture in the future.
 
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