Why do deaf people treat their own so wrong?

Mrs Bucket said:
It's because someone has to be the scapegoat in any culture.

Someone needs to shift the blame on someone.

Any culture group suffers this however you cannot allow yourself to think negatively and be a blameshifter.
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Precisely - That is why there's the Crab Theory that is presented out there.
 
Bottesini said:
That is not true for most of us. A psychologist can say cut the ties to family that upsets you, but most can't and won't.

Just very cold people can do it. And then it is not a life anyway, just existence

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I know this subject is not about me but it is all I have to relate to.

My mother raised me by herself. She was my first best friend.

I've never had a bad relationship or one that ended poorly. Every one of my exgirlfriends is my friend today.

I've only been married twice, both times to wonderful women. My family is huge and encompasses just about every religious, ethnic, and sexual, variation you can imagine. We are proud of our family.

Most of the people I know who are upset with their families are upset over trivial matters.

I have very few rules and they are reciprocal.

4 regarding myself:

Do not lie to me.

Do not lie about me.

Do not steal from me.

Do not tell me I have no right to an opinion on your life. You do not have to agree with it, you do not have to follow it, and you don't have to hear it more than once -- But I assert my right to have it and to say it.

3 regarding my house:

My house and property are neutral ground. You may not like everyone you find there but you will never insult or be rude to them.

I do not allow anything illegal to be done on my property.

You are responsible for anyone you bring into my house; only bring those who will respect the family.

Other than that my family can be or do anything they choose and I and every other member of our family will love and adore them.
 
Berry said:
I know this subject is not about me but it is all I have to relate to.

My mother raised me by herself. She was my first best friend.

I've never had a bad relationship or one that ended poorly. Every one of my exgirlfriends is my friend today.

I've only been married twice, both times to wonderful women. My family is huge and encompasses just about every religious, ethnic, and sexual, variation you can imagine. We are proud of our family.

Most of the people I know who are upset with their families are upset over trivial matters.

I have very few rules and they are reciprocal.

4 regarding myself:

Do not lie to me.

Do not lie about me.

Do not steal from me.

Do not tell me I have no right to an opinion on your life. You do not have to agree with it, you do not have to follow it, and you don't have to hear it more than once -- But I assert my right to have it and to say it.

3 regarding my house:

My house and property are neutral ground. You may not like everyone you find there but you will never insult or be rude to them.

I do not allow anything illegal to be done on my property.

You are responsible for anyone you bring into my house; only bring those who will respect the family.

Other than that my family can be or do anything they choose and I and every other member of our family will love and adore them.
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Its a shame that we can't make this mandatory for all.
 
Berry said:
I know this subject is not about me but it is all I have to relate to.

My mother raised me by herself. She was my first best friend.

I've never had a bad relationship or one that ended poorly. Every one of my exgirlfriends is my friend today.

I've only been married twice, both times to wonderful women. My family is huge and encompasses just about every religious, ethnic, and sexual, variation you can imagine. We are proud of our family.

Most of the people I know who are upset with their families are upset over trivial matters.

I have very few rules and they are reciprocal.

4 regarding myself:

Do not lie to me.

Do not lie about me.

Do not steal from me.

Do not tell me I have no right to an opinion on your life. You do not have to agree with it, you do not have to follow it, and you don't have to hear it more than once -- But I assert my right to have it and to say it.

3 regarding my house:

My house and property are neutral ground. You may not like everyone you find there but you will never insult or be rude to them.

I do not allow anything illegal to be done on my property.

You are responsible for anyone you bring into my house; only bring those who will respect the family.

Other than that my family can be or do anything they choose and I and every other member of our family will love and adore them.
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Mind if I print this out and hang it on my wall? I don't think I even have to change anything in it!
 
Though this comment is off topic, I just have to say to be honest that if anybody asks me if I'm angry, I will become angry no matter what I was feeling before they asked. I don't know why. I've been trying to figure that out all my life. End of off topic comment.
 
SimplyMints said:
Though this comment is off topic, I just have to say to be honest that if anybody asks me if I'm angry, I will become angry no matter what I was feeling before they asked. I don't know why. I've been trying to figure that out all my life. End of off topic comment

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Very common, and usually a bit difficult to control.

This is where having a family and friends who tease and harass each other is a huge advantage over one that does not. Sort of like having a bunch of brothers who rough you up once in a while but never really hurt you. Once you get in a real fight you know what to do.

The thing to try to remember is once you get angry the other person has control of the situation, not you.
 
jillio said:
Its a shame that we can't make this mandatory for all.

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Unfortunately many people see me as a failed human being because I don't get upset about many things they feel I, and my family, should.
 
Vampy - that's *exactly* why I avoided the deaf community since 2003!

Exactly why I hated the "fucking mentally-retarded" deaf school in Indiana like I said at one time on here.

Ugh. If I haven't had any bad experiences there to begin with, then I'd have gone to RIT.
 
crab theory
jealousy
different schools
cultural differences
etc, etc
deaf-mute is used as a word in internal deaf discussion.

the same if a hearing person want to complete in the deaf culture, he/she gonna go shogun....


jasin said:
When I was being denied my deaf rights it was not a deaf person who came to my defense it was a hearing person. The deaf would not really do anything for me. Its like, if it did not benefit them personally then why should they do anything for me? Its really sad how the deaf treat their own fellow deafies in the community.
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Culture

THat is really help you deaf school,

That is sound great. I enjoy about to deaf people in School....


I wish be enjoy about to really happy. I am happy smile :wave:

don't be jealous
don't be angry
don't be scared.


Don't be scared because don't worry
 
Berry said:
Unfortunately many people see me as a failed human being because I don't get upset about many things they feel I, and my family, should.
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I would think the opposite, that if you can manage without becoming angry so often, you're a better person than most!
 
Berry said:
Unfortunately many people see me as a failed human being because I don't get upset about many things they feel I, and my family, should.
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In the past when I was able to control my anger better than I can now, I used to be the same way, but people looked at this as a positive instead of a negative.
 
SimplyMints said:
I would think the opposite, that if you can manage without becoming angry so often, you're a better person than most!

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I don't do it to be a better person. I simply do not see the point in getting upset about trivia.

But to many people masculinity or morals are more important than anything else and they feel that when these things are infringed they should be railed against. Here are some things a few people have lost respect for me because I did not get upset about them.

My late wife had coffee with a man she once dated in highschool, which was twenty years in their past.

My grand daughter cheated on her boyfriend. She said he called her a slut and after all she didn't want him to be a liar so bedded one of his friends.

A couple of members of my family belong to the GLBT club.

There are others but that should give you a pretty good idea. There are people out there who believe these things are important and that you are less of a person if they don't upset you.

As for jealousy I follow this rule:

THERE IS NEVER A REASON TO BE JEALOUS!

If you have reason to be jealous
Then you have reason to leave.

If you are not there
There is no reason to be jealous.
 
Hello, I read all above, I agree with Jasin. Finally I acknowledged someone like Jasin who spoke the right words for me. It has been difficult for me to express right words. Even I am deaf and it becomes hard sometimes to be a part of deaf community completely but the way they socialize, the way they treat the others, and have seen backstabbing and their own preferences of crowds and favorism. It becomes very harder for us really to get to know each other. It sounds like Jasin was raised how to use good manners, so was I too. I came from whole hearing family plus over 200 relatives. All are hearing except me. I do not fit in both deaf and hearing world. I fit in in the between (hard of hearing / coda / hearing with sign language skills)
 
i have a different opinion.

maybe b/c you're an embarrassment to the deaf world.

there are times when deaf people embarrass me... like if i go to public places with group of deaf friends... one of them would be yelling, one of them would be banging tables, one of them would bump into people without saying excuse me... some scrap their dishes so hard w/ their knife and fork... so maybe one reason is they degrade you because of the way you act. maybe they treat you bad b/c you're an embarrassment. who knows. why dont you ASK that person WHY they treat you wrong.. deaf people tend to be blunt, they'll tell you, just.. don't cry :)
 
Moelza said:
i have a different opinion.

maybe b/c you're an embarrassment to the deaf world.

there are times when deaf people embarrass me... like if i go to public places with group of deaf friends... one of them would be yelling, one of them would be banging tables, one of them would bump into people without saying excuse me... some scrap their dishes so hard w/ their knife and fork... so maybe one reason is they degrade you because of the way you act. maybe they treat you bad b/c you're an embarrassment. who knows. why dont you ASK that person WHY they treat you wrong.. deaf people tend to be blunt, they'll tell you, just.. don't cry :)
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Is that you, Jillio? :shock:
 
So, you're saying that...

Deaf boy did something wrong with him penis and I told him that he shouldn't doing sign language while masturbate?
 
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