Why do deaf people treat their own so wrong?

jillio said:
Oh, no, Mints. Changing the way you interact with people doesn't mean shutting them out at all. It is just a matter of understanding boundaries on both sides, and of understanding the fundamental dyadic nature of relating to each other.
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I need to invent my own new boundaries. Then I have to look up "dyadic" in the dictionary. :giggle:
 
SimplyMints said:
I need to invent my own new boundaries. Then I have to look up "dyadic" in the dictionary. :giggle:
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Sorry: it means 2 way. What one person does inlfuences what the person it is directed toward does, and vice versa.
 
deaf people treat their own like shit because they are in a magical, naive state of consciousness, petty ambition often gets in the way of enlightenment to be more human, but nope, many prefers just to be assholes
 
Grummer said:
deaf people treat their own like shit because they are in a magical, naive state of consciousness, petty ambition often gets in the way of enlightenment to be more human, but nope, many prefers just to be assholes
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As can be said for any cultural group.
 
of course, but how many d/Deaf people really are aware of this consciousness issues. This would be bugger-all and more so I am leaning towards to say I'd disagree with you.
Mainly because for d/Deaf people it is not just a cultural matter, but also one of the political AND on top of this, - disability- which we can not shake it off this easily as the Deaf propagandist would rather have it. We have a very real disabled status in society that is we are cut off, and not allowed to do certain things, even if some changes or adjustments because it alway boil down to how it fits only their (hearing peoples systems) terms.

The ones whose still prefer to continue to be assholes isnt the cultural matter, it is more of a mix of personality and how they choose to justify their scapgoating for their problems of the 'world' they dont like, hence the horizontal violence. (and low consciousness of the world which they live).

But then some might argue culture embeds politics, well that is the premise, political lies blurs the 'lines' of blame in the 'culture' so they are lead to believe, moreso it political lies makes out the 'upper class/other culture is a better/more sounds one so they arent 'target' for blame, when really its corruption orginated from there! (in this case, hearing culture) holding up the hearing ideals of whos lazy, who is talented, who is worthy for work, worthy for success... the list goes on, its all from the hearing society, as it gets trickled down...
 
Exactly. Any culture has its own politics and agenda, whether formalized or not. And very few, of any cultural group, are consciously aware of the ways in which this affects their behavior in any given situation.
 
shel90 said:
Only my family and closest friends' problems will become mine but others, I dont have the time nor the energy to handle their problems. I used to allow it and it would just drain all the energy from me...no more.
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That may be true on a individual basis as you can get rid of people from your life who are problematic. Circumstantially though, its much different. You cannot control, circumstantially speaking, what is going on around you.
 
jasin said:
You can't control the circumstances or situations around you. Not unless you want to lock yourself up in your home and live like a hermit out in the middle of nowhere.
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That's what I have been doing lately..locking myself in my house cuz I am soooo afraid of everyone! J/K


I dont let their problems become my problem...
 
shel90 said:
I was kidding..I couldnt lock myself in my house even if I wanted to..
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So was I. Nonetheless, other peoples problems can still become your own. As I stated, you cannot control circumstances around you.
 
jasin said:
So was I. Nonetheless, other peoples problems can still become your own. As I stated, you cannot control circumstances around you

.
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I've been thinking about this statement.

The question here is how much of your circumstances can you control or not control.

I personally have complete control over whom I associate with everywhere except work and school. In these two places I am friendly with those I like and polite to those I dislike, avoiding the latter whenever I can.

About the only people who can project their problems on to me in such a way I have to react to them would be a teacher or boss.

These people can cause me discomfort, possibly irritation, but I do not have to mentally or emotionally burden myself with anything they say or do. I only give their episodes as much attention as required to keep my job, get a grade, and then move on, mostly forgetting the incident.
 
Berry said:
I've been thinking about this statement.

The question here is how much of your circumstances can you control or not control.

I personally have complete control over whom I associate with everywhere except work and school. In these two places I am friendly with those I like and polite to those I dislike, avoiding the latter whenever I can.

About the only people who can project their problems on to me in such a way I have to react to them would be a teacher or boss.

These people can cause me discomfort, possibly irritation, but I do not have to mentally or emotionally burden myself with anything they say or do. I only give their episodes as much attention as required to keep my job, get a grade, and then move on, mostly forgetting the incident.
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That is not true for most of us. A psychologist can say cut the ties to family that upsets you, but most can't and won't.

Just very cold people can do it. And then it is not a life anyway, just existence.
 
Bottesini said:
That is not true for most of us. A psychologist can say cut the ties to family that upsets you, but most can't and won't.

Just very cold people can do it. And then it is not a life anyway, just existence.
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Well, you and Berry are both right. One cannot cut ties completely, so one will always be exposed to those that often seek to cause us discomfort, or do so unwittingly. But we do have a choice as to how we react to that. It is a matter of separating that which we accept as a comment on our value and self worth and that which we won't. Others may, in many ways, make our lives less than pleasant for a moment or two, but we can choose whether we allow that to affect us on such a level that we carry it with us.
 
jillio said:
As can be said for any cultural group.
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It's because someone has to be the scapegoat in any culture.

Someone needs to shift the blame on someone.

Any culture group suffers this however you cannot allow yourself to think negatively and be a blameshifter.
 
Mrs Bucket said:
It's because someone has to be the scapegoat in any culture.

Someone needs to shift the blame on someone.

Any culture group suffers this however you cannot allow yourself to think negatively and be a blameshifter.
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Exactly. It is something that has occurred since the dawn of time. We don't have any choice about the ways in which societies are stratified, but we do have a choice as to whether we permit it to affect us negatively.
 
jillio said:
Exactly. It is something that has occurred since the dawn of time. We don't have any choice about the ways in which societies are stratified, but we do have a choice as to whether we permit it to affect us negatively.
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Bingo! Excellent post there. :hug:
 
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