Why adults choose CI's for their children

[rockdrummer]

.......I remember holding a boy that had a CI who was bawling and it just didn't feel right to hold him with a CI sticking out.

My first thought was...."This is unnatural." Then my daughter came over and held her as well which felt perfectly normal.

I'm sorry but anytime I go into a room with children that have CI's, my first thought is, "Aliens"--like the movie.

That is horrible. It's like a hearing person saying they don't feel natural around deaf kids. But you illustrate a point regarding rejection from some extremest in the D/eaf community that some with CI's experience.

 

[rockdrummer]

Part of that statement scares me. It makes me question if I'm doing the right thing. My decision to have one came only after many months of research and questions. I have to say the near-first part -- never having worn hearing aids and then suddenly hearing sounds doesn't apply to me because I've always worn hearing aids. And the second part about just wanting to see what it sounds like then stop wearing them is beyond me .. To me, there's too much at stake to just be curious .. What I'm saying here it is the FIRST part of your sentence "I totally agree that CI is not for everyone" that scares me the most -- don't worry, you are by far not the first to say that. It's just what gives me pause and makes me think about whether I'm doing the right thing or not. It's hard to know and I said this in a thread yesterday -- "you never know until you try." I just wish I could get over being so nervous, and hopefully that will pass once I've really gotten started with the audis, ent, surgeon, etc., which will all be happening soon. I think parents deal with similar kinds of emotions when deciding for their child.

Allycat.. it's perfectly normal to be anxious or nervous. It's surgury and with it come risks with no guarantees. I'm sure you are well aware of this. Imagine if you were making this decision for your child. I wish you the best and may you have success with your CI.

 

[LadySekhmet]

If you had a deaf child would you opt for a CI? And regardless of your choice, what reasons would you factor into the decision?

Honestly - No I will not implant my child. Even though I'm an advocate of CI's, but I'm even bigger on personal choices. If someone wants to implant their child, that's fine. It is their choice...if they made a mistake, that's their problem, not mine. Same applies for everything...politics, political controversial issues, picking a car, picking a school, etc etc....it's the person's choice. I do not go around preaching every parent that they should NOT implant their child. I *will* defend myself if a parent of an implanted child says something along the lines, "Now my child is hearing. He/She does not need ASL or any type of other language".

My fiance (who is hearing btw) agrees to the same thing, he also will not implant our child. If the child is old enough and knows the decisions (probably teens) and understanding about everything, then yes I would opt for it. That way it is my CHILD's choice, not mine.

I, most definitely will provide my child education that I had....with both oral and ASL language.

Mind you - this does NOT mean I am against children being implanted.

 

[rockdrummer]

Honestly - No I will not implant my child. Even though I'm an advocate of CI's, but I'm even bigger on personal choices. If someone wants to implant their child, that's fine. It is their choice...if they made a mistake, that's their problem, not mine. Same applies for everything...politics, political controversial issues, picking a car, picking a school, etc etc....it's the person's choice. I do not go around preaching every parent that they should NOT implant their child. I *will* defend myself if a parent of an implanted child says something along the lines, "Now my child is hearing. He/She does not need ASL or any type of other language".

My fiance (who is hearing btw) agrees to the same thing, he also will not implant our child. If the child is old enough and knows the decisions (probably teens) and understanding about everything, then yes I would opt for it. That way it is my CHILD's choice, not mine.

I, most definitely will provide my child education that I had....with both oral and ASL language.

Mind you - this does NOT mean I am against children being implanted.

Thank you for your honesty.

 

[LadySekhmet]

Part of that statement scares me. It makes me question if I'm doing the right thing. My decision to have one came only after many months of research and questions. I have to say the near-first part -- never having worn hearing aids and then suddenly hearing sounds doesn't apply to me because I've always worn hearing aids. And the second part about just wanting to see what it sounds like then stop wearing them is beyond me .. To me, there's too much at stake to just be curious .. What I'm saying here it is the FIRST part of your sentence "I totally agree that CI is not for everyone" that scares me the most -- don't worry, you are by far not the first to say that. It's just what gives me pause and makes me think about whether I'm doing the right thing or not. It's hard to know and I said this in a thread yesterday -- "you never know until you try." I just wish I could get over being so nervous, and hopefully that will pass once I've really gotten started with the audis, ent, surgeon, etc., which will all be happening soon. I think parents deal with similar kinds of emotions when deciding for their child.

It's normal to be anxious about a big decision like this. I felt the same way.

CI's is not for everyone for certain situations...such as getting it just because to know what it is like. Another example would be a friend of mine - she is completely deaf. NEVER wore hearing aids for 40 years, never spoke, always hung out with deaf people, has a deaf family, deaf husband, etc. Never even heard music before - I will not recommend that she get a CI.

If you have the ability to get at least some sounds from your hearing aids, then in a way you will remember what it sounds like. I am not going to lie to you and say that everything will be perfect the day you are activated. If you have the drive and the motivation to LEARN what the "new" sounds are, you will be wonderful. There are some people who had CI's in their "dead" ear and they do great. Others feel that it's just too overwhelming. For me, I just find that the people who have better capabilities with auditory memory tend to do a little bit better.

Go see a CI audiologist.

 

[faire_jour]

No it isn't vain. It's just a matter of opinion is all.

Can you touch a child wearing aids? Is that "freaky" too? What if your child was born with cataracts? Would you have them removed or leave his vision "impaired"?

 

[faire_jour]

Understand that I come from a family that is all HOH/Deaf.

When the CI's first came out, we all were interested in it. But after researching the CI--we decided that it wasn't worth it due to insufficient studies on the long term effects of CI in one's ear/head.

To answer your question--I would say both. Because of the unnecessary surgery and abuse because of societal's views on deafness and hearing loss.

I remember holding a boy that had a CI who was bawling and it just didn't feel right to hold him with a CI sticking out.

My first thought was...."This is unnatural." Then my daughter came over and held her as well which felt perfectly normal.

I'm sorry but anytime I go into a room with children that have CI's, my first thought is, "Aliens"--like the movie.

And you realize that the CI isn't "sticking out" at all. It is just a magnet. The skin is still intact. How is that like "Aliens"? You think somehow the medical device is going to come out of the body? You know that if you take the processor off, you can not tell which child has a CI and which doesn't.

 

[Byrdie714]

This is similar reasoning my mom used when I was born. She did not want to do the CI because it was still new and in experimental stage at that time. I did fine without the CI and used HAs instead. Now, my mom says that if I were born today, she would do CI to me, and I agree with her. I decided to do a CI and am scheduled to do it a few days before Thanksgiving. It will be an interesting Thanksgiving with my head bandaged up!

Good luck with it.

That is horrible. It's like a hearing person saying they don't feel natural around deaf kids. But you illustrate a point regarding rejection from the D/eaf community that some with CI's experience.

I didn't say I "rejected" the kid. Don't read between the lines.....

Can you touch a child wearing aids? Is that "freaky" too? What if your child was born with cataracts? Would you have them removed or leave his vision "impaired"?

I grew up with HA's and when my daughter had HA's, it was normal for us.

And you realize that the CI isn't "sticking out" at all. It is just a magnet. The skin is still intact. How is that like "Aliens"? You think somehow the medical device is going to come out of the body? You know that if you take the processor off, you can not tell which child has a CI and which doesn't.

A magnet? So does that mean you get reception from satelittle communications? In terms of "Aliens"--maybe I should've have said, the movie "Frankenstein".

Sorry folks, as for the CI debate--not in our household.

No CI's here.

 

[rockdrummer]

I wasn't reading between the lines. Your comment made me think of what I have personally heard from others about how the CI kids get rejected by some of the D/eaf community and I thought the point was worth mentioning in the context of this thread. If parents want their child to be a part of the D/eaf community then they may opt to not get a CI for the fear of rejection. To some that issue may be important enough to affect their decision.

 

[Cloggy]

.......... It's just what gives me pause and makes me think about whether I'm doing the right thing or not. It's hard to know and I said this in a thread yesterday -- "you never know until you try." I just wish I could get over being so nervous, and hopefully that will pass once I've really gotten started with the audis, ent, surgeon, etc., which will all be happening soon. I think parents deal with similar kinds of emotions when deciding for their child.

Much of the succes depends on when hearing was lost and how long ago that was. Adults that have heard before often do better than those who have never heard. Teenagers that established language before they became deaf, do better than teenagers that never heard.

And motivation is a big factor. "Just trying out" is not enough. It is hard work learning to hear with Ci when you have never heard before..

 

[vallee]

If you had a deaf child would you opt for a CI? And regardless of your choice, what reasons would you factor into the decision?

I do have a child and this discussion was held with my husband(my child is hearing). The answer is yes, we would make a choice for cochlear implants if hearing aids were not successful.

 

[vallee]

Part of that statement scares me. It makes me question if I'm doing the right thing. My decision to have one came only after many months of research and questions. I have to say the near-first part -- never having worn hearing aids and then suddenly hearing sounds doesn't apply to me because I've always worn hearing aids. And the second part about just wanting to see what it sounds like then stop wearing them is beyond me .. To me, there's too much at stake to just be curious .. What I'm saying here it is the FIRST part of your sentence "I totally agree that CI is not for everyone" that scares me the most -- don't worry, you are by far not the first to say that. It's just what gives me pause and makes me think about whether I'm doing the right thing or not. It's hard to know and I said this in a thread yesterday -- "you never know until you try." I just wish I could get over being so nervous, and hopefully that will pass once I've really gotten started with the audis, ent, surgeon, etc., which will all be happening soon. I think parents deal with similar kinds of emotions when deciding for their child.

What you are going through is normal. Remember your expectations and even the day of surgery I felt scared. I can't see myself not using my CIs, it gives so much to me.

 

[rick48]

I had a deaf child and I didn't even considered a CI for her.

The reasoning is simple: I think it's a form of abuse.

Not even going to go there except I do agree that your reasoning is simple, very simple.

 

[vallee]

That is horrible. It's like a hearing person saying they don't feel natural around deaf kids. But you illustrate a point regarding rejection from the D/eaf community that some with CI's experience.

RD is this type of comments the norm in the Deaf Community?

 

[faire_jour]

Good luck with it.



I didn't say I "rejected" the kid. Don't read between the lines.....



I grew up with HA's and when my daughter had HA's, it was normal for us.



A magnet? So does that mean you get reception from satelittle communications? In terms of "Aliens"--maybe I should've have said, the movie "Frankenstein".

Sorry folks, as for the CI debate--not in our household.

No CI's here.

Calling someone a freak is rejection! You said you didn't even want to touch the child.

And a magnet doesn't receive signals from a satellite...a satellite dish does. A magnet is one of those things that sticks to the fridge. If you don't even know how it works, how can you say you have done your research? You are showing that you have ZERO knowledge on the subject. You are speaking from a place of ignorance. How dare you say it is abusive when you have no idea what is even involved?

 

[vallee]

This is similar reasoning my mom used when I was born. She did not want to do the CI because it was still new and in experimental stage at that time. I did fine without the CI and used HAs instead. Now, my mom says that if I were born today, she would do CI to me, and I agree with her. I decided to do a CI and am scheduled to do it a few days before Thanksgiving. It will be an interesting Thanksgiving with my head bandaged up!

My mom said the same.

 

[vallee]

Understand that I come from a family that is all HOH/Deaf.

When the CI's first came out, we all were interested in it. But after researching the CI--we decided that it wasn't worth it due to insufficient studies on the long term effects of CI in one's ear/head.

To answer your question--I would say both. Because of the unnecessary surgery and abuse because of societal's views on deafness and hearing loss.

I remember holding a boy that had a CI who was bawling and it just didn't feel right to hold him with a CI sticking out.

My first thought was...."This is unnatural." Then my daughter came over and held her as well which felt perfectly normal.

I'm sorry but anytime I go into a room with children that have CI's, my first thought is, "Aliens"--like the movie.

This is so sad in my opinion. What is terrible is that you can't get pass the CIs or hearing aids or even maybe hair color. How about eye color or race? I don't care big D, little d, or no d, you did something that goes against everything in my heart - you pass judgement on a child, you dismissed a child, and worse you excluded a child from society. Shame on you.

 

[rick48]

RD is this type of comments the norm in the Deaf Community?

Vallee,

These comments were more typical when we were considering the ci for daughter back in 89. Over the years, the number of these people have thankfully dwindled but there still are pockets of ignorance as the poster demonstrates.

I think by and large, most people in the Deaf community are tolerant today of those who are choosing cis for either themselves or for their children or at the very least, they are civil enough to keep their comments to themselves.

I think also as the number of people who have been implanted has exploded over the last two decades it is rare that anyone in either the Deaf or the deaf communities does not personally know someone who has a ci.

I think it will be exciting times over the next 20 years as the ci kids graduate college and become adults in the D/deaf communities.
Rick

 

[rockdrummer]

RD is this type of comments the norm in the Deaf Community?

I hope not. The Deaf culture is like any culture. You have left, right and center. It really depends on many factors that determine how a person treats other humans. If parents choose CIs' for their children the last thing they should have to worry about is rejection or that their child will be seen be seen as a freak or cyborg or some nonsense. Unfortunately as you have witnessed, it does happen.

 

[rick48]

"Oh Rick..... 2 burns back to back..."

And if you are a Yankees fan, then you will recognize with apologies to John Sterling, they are also "a belly to belly"!