What is marriage?

shel90

shel90

Love Makes the World Go Round
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The title says it all...

Someone in another thread mentioned that it would be a good topic for a new thread so I decided to start it.

Marriage to me is the committment of two people who love each other that is recognized legally.

To me, religion has no part of marriage so I feel that anyone has the right to marriage..whether they are straight or gay/lesbains.
 
Well, until the '70s, in North America, marriage was purely for economic reasons. Can't get a house? Can't get a car? Can't get a bank account? Can't get a credit card? Get married. Don't have child support or benefits yet? Well, society have not evolved to the point where they were able to support single parents-- thus why people didn't get divorced back then. Now it's all idealized romanticized idea, barring a few legal rights that commonlaws and civil unions have yet to receive. Same hold true outside of North America, but polygamy and polyandry have their own reasons for existing-- polyandry when resources are limited, especially land thus why some women have multiple husbands; polygamy when resources are plentiful... thus why some men have multiple wives, and if they get divorced-- they get a large share of the man's wealth. In short?

Marriage is between people, regardless of genders, that are entitled to certain legal rights to protect themselves for whatever reasons. Although nowadays, it's romanticized as the "highest form of commitment." I don't feel like I need marriage to justify my relationship, but that opinion might change five or ten years down the line.

;)
 
While marriage is about two people making a commitment for life. I think the term "marriage" should stay out of the gov't as it is always been part of religion.

Throughout the bible, it talks about marriage. Now it also talk about divorces too but God didn't design marriage that way. People did. God design marriage as a picture of Christ (yes, I know some of you are going to argue this... but you asked so I'm going to give my honest feeling).

You can make a commitment with a legal paper, or just with each other... but most people don't feel marriage is complete until they bring God to unite them, with witnesses, of course. To them, without God, it just feels like another empty promise.
 
Life is made up of a bunch of variables: friends that come and go, times that pass, situations that happen and then end. Our partners are our constants--they're always there, even when the variables are changing.
 
shel90 said:
The title says it all...

Someone in another thread mentioned that it would be a good topic for a new thread so I decided to start it.

Marriage to me is the committment of two people who love each other that is recognized legally.

To me, religion has no part of marriage so I feel that anyone has the right to marriage..whether they are straight or gay/lesbains.
Click to expand...

My definition is independent of the legal definition not only because many same-sex couples get left out of the loop, but also many couples don't put much value in paper, and may emotionally feel married without being married on paper.

My wife and I felt emotionally married long before we got legally married.
 
Marriage can be perceived as "the highest form of commitment" (stealing words from souggy). In a way, it is. Marriage is probably the hardest form of relationship commitment to get out of.

But honestly, to me, it's just something that makes life easier when you want to live and spend the rest of your life with someone. I am talking about socially AND economically. And perhaps religiously too, if you're into that sort of thing. ;) Our society is set up to make life smooth for married couples. But hopefully that will change.
 
well dont forget this..

you are counted as your own half, you need other half to complete you. But if you believe or feel you are the whole without a partner then you are good to be single for life. For me, I am just the half of the other half that I need to find.. the RIGHT half... to complete me. Religion does not always have to be required unless it comforts the partners. Communication, love, sympathy, teamwork, and all the fun part together is what makes it a healthy working marriage.. and yes money often takes the part but it does not beat love. If the couple lets money take control of their lives, they are worthless. So... you all got the idea of my perceptive and experience but it is not the money for me, I have heard, and witnessed lot of people having that trouble.
 
Someone says that marriage is a culture. Is it true ?
 
Maria said:
Someone says that marriage is a culture. Is it true ?
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I think marriage is very much attached to culture. Some cultures have different ways of forming social groups, such as having a house complex with several adults that pool together to raise a bunch of kids, so that something like 5 adults will be raising 12 kids.

I should add that at least in this point of history, it is close to universal, but I don't think it always was or will be.
 
Maria said:
Someone says that marriage is a culture. Is it true ?
Click to expand...

Sorta...

The definition of marriage is based on the culture they are found in.

Inuit definition of marriage (one female, many males) is difference than say... Thai... Chinese.. Hindi... or Berbere... or your average conservative American (one female, one male.)
 
Maria said:
Someone says that marriage is a culture. Is it true ?
Click to expand...

CJB said:
I think marriage is very much attached to culture. Some cultures have different ways of forming social groups, such as having a house complex with several adults that pool together to raise a bunch of kids, so that something like 5 adults will be raising 12 kids.
Click to expand...

Well it can be called culture to what CJB noted. Some couples won't call it culture but I got to agree it has to be because NOT every single and couple hangs together. In my world we do.. :lol: but I call it a culture with variety.
 
Marriage is a legal status that confers both rights and duties. Marriage creates an important status for any children born during the marriage. The marriage relationship may be created in a religious ceremony, a civil ceremony or a common law relationship. Marriage has never been the exclusive domain of the church where I live.

In the olden days, there were not enough ministers to marry people. There were ministers who traveled in circuit and at any given time there may not have been a minister available. That's why common law marriage was recognized.

BTW, in my jurisdiction, if you file a federal tax return with the status "married", you're married!
 
To me marriage is a commitment between two people. Period. It's a deep and meaningful commitment that doesn't need the recognition of courts, ministers or anyone other than the two involved. I know many who have lived together for years, even decades without a little piece of paper stating they were obligate. But they considered themselves married. Some of them were Christians and felt that as long as God was aware of their commitment to each other they were married in God's eyes.

A marriage license is just a piece of paper. It could be called a Tostito's License or Fluglebinder License or Widgit License and mean the same thing to me. To say I was married to my wife for me was to explain my feelings for her, not to acknowledge that I was legally bound to her. When I asked her to marry me I was asking her to spend the rest of her life with me (which she did). I wasn't asking her to legally obligate herself. That's how I see it.
 
To me... A wedding vow symbolizes a love and commitment between two people who want to share and spend rest of their life together. It is an everlasting promise that ensures the bond between them into marriage that is for understanding, trust, and unconditional love... for each other. Though self-made is a great way of expressing your sentiments and emotions towards your beloved.

I understand that many people don't share that view, which is fine. So that is just how I view it for love matters.
 
KarissaMann05 said:
To me... A wedding vow symbolizes a love and commitment between two people who want to share and spend rest of their life together. It is an everlasting promise that ensures the bond between them into marriage that is for understanding, trust, and unconditional love... for each other. Though self-made is a great way of expressing your sentiments and emotions towards your beloved.

I understand that many people don't share that view, which is fine. So that is just how I view it for love matters.
Click to expand...


What she said
 
TXgolfer said:
To me marriage is a commitment between two people. Period. It's a deep and meaningful commitment that doesn't need the recognition of courts, ministers or anyone other than the two involved. I know many who have lived together for years, even decades without a little piece of paper stating they were obligate. But they considered themselves married. Some of them were Christians and felt that as long as God was aware of their commitment to each other they were married in God's eyes.

A marriage license is just a piece of paper. It could be called a Tostito's License or Fluglebinder License or Widgit License and mean the same thing to me. To say I was married to my wife for me was to explain my feelings for her, not to acknowledge that I was legally bound to her. When I asked her to marry me I was asking her to spend the rest of her life with me (which she did). I wasn't asking her to legally obligate herself. That's how I see it.
Click to expand...

I agree but I always felt that if you can not emotionally, physically, And finanically share your life with you wife, then you are not really married. That is, if you can't sign a legal document that would include your wife, you are not really married to her. To me, marriage is making two people in one flesh so they suppose to share everything, and treat everything with their wife as she is his own flesh. Of course, That's in the bible and I agree with it. I always tell men that if you are going to hit your wife, you need to hit yourself instead.

I tend to get upset with my husband sometime when he doesn't include me as far as bills and stuff. So he realized that and tries to include me as possible.
 
Lighthouse77 said:
I agree but I always felt that if you can not emotionally, physically, And finanically share your life with you wife, then you are not really married. That is, if you can't sign a legal document that would include your wife, you are not really married to her. To me, marriage is making two people in one flesh so they suppose to share everything, and treat everything with their wife as she is his own flesh. Of course, That's in the bible and I agree with it. I always tell men that if you are going to hit your wife, you need to hit yourself instead.

I tend to get upset with my husband sometime when he doesn't include me as far as bills and stuff. So he realized that and tries to include me as possible.
Click to expand...


My wife was very much included in the financials. She paid all of the household bills and was the accountant for my business as well. I handled our investments since I had a knack for that but she saw and filed the statements.

But I spent days picking the perfect place,countless hours practicing and searching for the right words. Sleepless nights, talking to the mirror to see how it looked. The best that I could come up with was this simple thing. "I have spent the last month trying to figure out how to make this moment perfect. I know now that it is perfect only because you are here. I want all of my days to be just like this. I love you, will you marry me". I am certain that as I prepared and finally said those words that I never considered conferring rights or being obligated. And I am equally certain that when that when she said yes that the tear on her cheek wasn't because we were entering into a contract.

She passed away 7 years ago. Her name name has been taken off bank accounts and car titles and all of the fun legal stuff. Her death certificate now takes the place of our "marriage license".

BUT..... although she passed away 7 years ago. I can say that every day has been just like the day I asked her to marry me.. I still feel her in my heart. Still see her in my daughter. And still try to please her in everything that I do. That's marriage to me
 
Lighthouse77 said:
I agree but I always felt that if you can not emotionally, physically, And finanically share your life with you wife, then you are not really married. That is, if you can't sign a legal document that would include your wife, you are not really married to her. To me, marriage is making two people in one flesh so they suppose to share everything, and treat everything with their wife as she is his own flesh. Of course, That's in the bible and I agree with it. I always tell men that if you are going to hit your wife, you need to hit yourself instead.

I tend to get upset with my husband sometime when he doesn't include me as far as bills and stuff. So he realized that and tries to include me as possible.
Click to expand...

My hubby and I keep our finacies separate and we are responsible for our own bills. I used to share fianancies with my ex hubby including a joint bank account..too many problems. Just my preference. Good thing my hubby feels the same so we are perfect for each other.
 
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