What is marriage?

shel90 said:
My hubby and I keep our finacies separate and we are responsible for our own bills. I used to share fianancies with my ex hubby including a joint bank account..too many problems. Just my preference. Good thing my hubby feels the same so we are perfect for each other.
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Don't blame you. My parents are starting to consider keeping their finances separate for the same reason.
 
souggy said:
Don't blame you. My parents are starting to consider keeping their finances separate for the same reason.
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My best friend has a different opinion about that. She thinks it is not showing a commitment to each other if a married couple do not share their finances.
 
shel90 said:
My hubby and I keep our finacies separate and we are responsible for our own bills. I used to share fianancies with my ex hubby including a joint bank account..too many problems. Just my preference. Good thing my hubby feels the same so we are perfect for each other.
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Whatever works, as long as you two are not being secret or telling each other to mind his own business. Because to me, I tell that to my outside relatives and my children.. but not my husband.
 
KarissaMann05 said:
To me... A wedding vow symbolizes a love and commitment between two people who want to share and spend rest of their life together. It is an everlasting promise that ensures the bond between them into marriage that is for understanding, trust, and unconditional love... for each other. Though self-made is a great way of expressing your sentiments and emotions towards your beloved.

I understand that many people don't share that view, which is fine. So that is just how I view it for love matters.
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I share your view 100% KarrissaMann!
 
I have a friend who have separate account, and her husband would not put a single dime to the house. He use it for his own pleasure.She have to pay for everything with her own money. He is not sharing with her finanically, in my opinion. and I don't call that marriage when people do that.
 
Lighthouse77 said:
I have a friend who have separate account, and her husband would not put a single dime to the house. She have to pay for everything with her own money. He is not sharing with her finanically, in my opinion. He use it for his own pleasure.
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:lol: My parents got separate accounts, but my mom get all of his paycheques. :giggle:

Reason being for the separate accounts is that a lot of time, my dad would overspend due to impulsive buys, leaving my mom with no money for herself.
 
shel90 said:
The title says it all...

Someone in another thread mentioned that it would be a good topic for a new thread so I decided to start it.

Marriage to me is the committment of two people who love each other that is recognized legally.

To me, religion has no part of marriage so I feel that anyone has the right to marriage..whether they are straight or gay/lesbains.
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shel90 said:
My hubby and I keep our finacies separate and we are responsible for our own bills. I used to share fianancies with my ex hubby including a joint bank account..too many problems. Just my preference. Good thing my hubby feels the same so we are perfect for each other.
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These two don't seem to go together. What's the point of getting married if A) you don't want a contractual obligation involving finances. OR B) You don't believe you should be married in God's eyes before living together.

Very confusing. It sounds like you are saying you need a court to voice it's approval of your love and willingness to spend your life with someone. To me marriage is about trust. I always trusted my wife with our finances. If I didn't I wouldn't have been with her. Yes , some people get burned in a first marriage and try to cover their butt in the second marriage. That doesn't sound like unconditional love to me.
 
TXgolfer said:
These two don't seem to go together. What's the point of getting married if A) you don't want a contractual obligation involving finances. OR B) You believe you should be married in God's eyes before living together.

Very confusing. It sounds like you are saying you need a court to voice it's approval of your love and willingness to spend your life with someone. To me marriage is about trust. I always trusted my wife with our finances. If I didn't I wouldn't have been with her. Yes , some people get burned in a first marriage and try to cover their butt in the second marriage. That doesn't sound like unconditional love to me.
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My views are different from yours. You have yours and I have mine. What I define what a marriage is applies to me only. Everyone has their own views of what marriage is..that is fine and I wont impose my views on their marriages.
 
TXgolfer said:
These two don't seem to go together. What's the point of getting married if A) you don't want a contractual obligation involving finances. OR B) You don't believe you should be married in God's eyes before living together.

Very confusing. It sounds like you are saying you need a court to voice it's approval of your love and willingness to spend your life with someone. To me marriage is about trust. I always trusted my wife with our finances. If I didn't I wouldn't have been with her. Yes , some people get burned in a first marriage and try to cover their butt in the second marriage. That doesn't sound like unconditional love to me.
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I wonder about that too, but then again, alot of people do this these days. I could make a commitment for life without the legal marriage stuffs if I don't want my spouse involve in my finanical affair. some people use marriage license to tie a person down without sharing anything with him/her.
 
Hmm... I can see some of the ADers have thier different opinions on " culture " issue. Very interestin'! As for me, I believe it is a commitment. Culture and commitment are two ( 2 ) different things. It don't blend together. One could accept the government to marry them or... another option is through the church and have a pastor/priest to marry them. The way I see it, the state and church is separate.

And, yes I've seen many common in laws are more than "married" couples nowdays. Common in laws are growin'.
 
shel90 said:
My views are different from yours. You have yours and I have mine. What I define what a marriage is applies to me only. Everyone has their own views of what marriage is..that is fine and I wont impose my views on their marriages.
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My point exactly. In the other forum this whole discussion started when I said it just might be simpler to remove Marriage from legal terminology. As we see from this thread alone the word "marriage" brings many passionate but different beliefs. It is impossible to come up with a uniform definition of "Marriage" that will make everyone happy. Since it's pretty important for legal terms to have a clear definition why not create a specific legal term to describe the contractual obligation between couples. Something like.....hmm....I don't know.....civil union. Then people can chose to define their "marriage" as they wish.
 
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Lighthouse77 said:
While marriage is about two people making a commitment for life. I think the term "marriage" should stay out of the gov't as it is always been part of religion.

Throughout the bible, it talks about marriage. Now it also talk about divorces too but God didn't design marriage that way. People did. God design marriage as a picture of Christ (yes, I know some of you are going to argue this... but you asked so I'm going to give my honest feeling).

You can make a commitment with a legal paper, or just with each other... but most people don't feel marriage is complete until they bring God to unite them, with witnesses, of course. To them, without God, it just feels like another empty promise.
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I liked how you explained. You are absolutely right, for those who hold a strong biblical point of view is not be argued, express the answer to the question with biblical principles of what you believe in. I would have said, the same thing.
 
Oceanblue7 said:
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I liked how you explained. You are absolutely right, for those who hold a strong biblical point of view is not be argued, express the answer to the question with biblical principles of what you believe in. I would have said, the same thing.
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I am certain that when I marry again it will be in the biblical sense only. Kind of silly to ask the government to certify your commitment to another.
 
TXgolfer said:
I am certain that when I marry again it will be in the biblical sense only. Kind of silly to ask the government to certify your commitment to another.
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I also think it is silly for the gov't to sign a document to encourage people to tie another person down to them for the rest of their life (for abusers who like to control their spouse.. or make them become their slave) or make divorce extremely hard on them.

The way the gov't really should work is make it clear to both party that this is not a wedding or a marriage . This is a finanical and legal commitment to each other and each other are responsible for each other finanical problems and such.
 
You can't opt out of state laws. If you don't want legal obligations, don't get married (even at common law). A church wedding that fails to create a statutory marriage *could* establish a common law marriage (in common law jurisdictions). Alternatively, you can move to a place where you like the applicable laws.

I wouldn't trust a person who chooses to evade legal obligations, but that's my personal choice. If you can find a person who will take the risk of having no legal obligations, you may be able to avoid any legal obligations. Be aware that a putative spouse may still file for divorce of common law marriage despite your intentions. All it takes is evidence (particularly how the couple files federal tax returns).

Lighthouse, why are you afraid of being trapped?
 
sallylou said:
Lighthouse, why are you afraid of being trapped?
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I'm not afraid of being trapped. If I was I wouldn't get married. But unfortunately, I seen too many women who were abused, and their husband kept all their money and won't give a single dime. They seem to treat marriage as a trap. One woman wanted a new dress, but nope, her husband won't share his money to give her one.
 
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