What do you agree that Sex-offender parents pose dilemma for schools?

[VanG]

That is sick Van and off topic here I love your pug!!! I have 4 of them all fawns like yours. I am a pug breeder in Ohio. They are simply the cutest little dogs arent they?

:topic: That dog is one of my client for boarding. This week is pug week. So perhap alldeaf might be interesting in knowing about pug. However I have boston terrier mix rescued from crazy farm. So I don't have pug at home but I do want to let alldeaf know if they have questions. Ask me. Or just want to say awww cutie.

Back to topic- Yeah- I know your son is not one of them. However, I found this out from Light Horse Police Department said that the website is legal. VanI and I were jawdropping. Legal?? Legal enough to make adult drooling over children? Sad sad sad sad wrong wrong wrong wrong and SIGH

 

[Bear]

That is sick that that website is legal and wow didnt know it was pug week. Maybe that means I should spoil my pugs even more?? Nah!, they are already spoiled brats as it is. Especially my Clyde lol.


As for my son, yes it is a sad situation. But who knows? Maybe Jillio can find some answers for me and maybe even someone willing to take his case?

 

[shel90]

Wow! I was shocked reading your son's story, Bear. I hope Jillo finds someone or some information to help you and your son!

This is scary cuz it can happen to any of us with our children.

I had a scare one time about 5 years ago when my ex hubby wanted to report my friend's 5 year old son for molesting our daughter when it was just them being curious about each other's geneitials. It was an awful experience cuz he sent an email to my friend saying that her son was a child molestor and that he was going to have him put in jail. My friend never recovered from that experience and since then she has forbidded her son to play with girls in his bedroom. I calmed my ex down so he admitted that he overreacted but the damage had been done to my friend who lived with that terror of not knowing if he would call the cops or Children's Services for 3 days. People dont realize when they say stuff like that to the child's mother especially when the child is practically a baby can do some emotional damage to the person. False accusation can be just as damaging.

 

[jillio]

That would be nice Jillio, cause for 4 years, my son and I have done nothing but run up against brick walls. Even a lawyer forum that I posted this too, says everything was done legally. I know it may be hard to accept, but I figured if my lawyer says it, my son's lawyer says it, then some stranger on a forum says it then it must be true that it was all legal.

I am having my friend look up the code law that we found about rape kits in Ohio.

But definitely if you can find anything, it would be a big help. Unfortunately, I dont have money to pay for a lawyer, I have been looking for one that would take this case on pro-bono. Or would do both a civil and criminal case.

I have never really given up hope that not only would my son be free, but that I could sue the daylights out of everyone involved in this case to have a better future for my son, who's life they ruined.

You keep holding on tothat hope, Bear. I can't promise you results, but I can promise that I will try.

 

[VanG]

That is sick that that website is legal and wow didnt know it was pug week. Maybe that means I should spoil my pugs even more?? Nah!, they are already spoiled brats as it is. Especially my Clyde lol.
Go for it. Make a lot of dog cookie for them!!

As for my son, yes it is a sad situation. But who knows? Maybe Jillio can find some answers for me and maybe even someone willing to take his case?

Well, what I don't understand is that if adult looked at children as it is legal but adults are not innocent. Your son was accused but he is innocent but he was put on sex registry. That is something I don't understand. My cousin had sex relation when she was 14 years old and her ex-boyfriend was 17 years old. My aunt called police and they said it is legal. That is something I don't understand.
My father who work for government said that most of law are not making any sense at all. This is making me wondering: If I have butt crack when I bend on floor and suddenly, I get arrested for buttcrack exposed in public and put on sex registry. Make no sense but it is the law not to be public exposed for little buttcrack!!! I better buy jumo large underwear that will fit up to my neck to prevent arrest. gee

 

[Bear]

You keep holding on tothat hope, Bear. I can't promise you results, but I can promise that I will try.

LOL, I know you cant Jillio its just the fact that my son's case outrages you as much as it does me, that makes me feel so much better about this. Although I must warn you, you might not like the answers you will get.

The answers may well wake you up to just how bad our juvenile justice system is and at the same time make you as a parent extremely angry and saddened that they can do this to our children.

Many people, who are not lawyers, all think that my caswe was somehow handled wrong. But so far, every lawyer that I've talked to refuses to take the case, and I've been told twice now that everything was done legally.

Maybe the reason why they are not taking this case, is because everything was done legally.

All I do know Jillio, is that it is frightening what they are doing to and with our children. It is very frightening when you think, what if it was my child? And that is why I wanna get the movement started for change.

 

[Bear]

Wow! I was shocked reading your son's story, Bear. I hope Jillo finds someone or some information to help you and your son!

This is scary cuz it can happen to any of us with our children.

I had a scare one time about 5 years ago when my ex hubby wanted to report my friend's 5 year old son for molesting our daughter when it was just them being curious about each other's geneitials. It was an awful experience cuz he sent an email to my friend saying that her son was a child molestor and that he was going to have him put in jail. My friend never recovered from that experience and since then she has forbidded her son to play with girls in his bedroom. I calmed my ex down so he admitted that he overreacted but the damage had been done to my friend who lived with that terror of not knowing if he would call the cops or Children's Services for 3 days. People dont realize when they say stuff like that to the child's mother especially when the child is practically a baby can do some emotional damage to the person. False accusation can be just as damaging.

Ouch! I feel for both you and that woman, while you are handling your daughter being touched by another child, you are at least putting it into perspective and realizing that your daughter was probably just as curious as that other child.

The other mother must have been terrified. I know how that other mother felt. I can't begin to describe the pain and the fear and the stress as a parent that we feel. At times it was almost unbearable and I started to crack under it.

It was a very bad time for us all. One of the things that I remember and cant ever forget in this case. Was mom crying everyday about her grandson, and how one of her last words were to me, *Ill never see him get out, I know I wont live long enough to see him out and home." She was right. And that really tore and my son and I.

My son has had to be put under suicide watch many of times due to his grandma's death. He says "Mom, I should have been home for her, not stuck in here like this."

He is right he should have been.

I find it funny that they can find loopholes to *nail* our children. Why can they not find loopholes to help our children?

 

[Bear]

Well, what I don't understand is that if adult looked at children as it is legal but adults are not innocent. Your son was accused but he is innocent but he was put on sex registry. That is something I don't understand. My cousin had sex relation when she was 14 years old and her ex-boyfriend was 17 years old. My aunt called police and they said it is legal. That is something I don't understand.
My father who work for government said that most of law are not making any sense at all. This is making me wondering: If I have butt crack when I bend on floor and suddenly, I get arrested for buttcrack exposed in public and put on sex registry. Make no sense but it is the law not to be public exposed for little buttcrack!!! I better buy jumo large underwear that will fit up to my neck to prevent arrest. gee

Van I will never understand it either. Only thing I can say is this system sucks! LOL.

My hubby does not like young kids anywhere near him, because he is very afraid of being accused of doing something wrong.

My son's ex foster mother will not have girls as foster children in her house, because she is afraid of false accusations. It is pretty bad when we are all too willing to believe the victim and prosecute the *guilty* party. Sometimes these so-called innocent victims aren't so innocent. Read on and you will see what I mean.

 

[Bear]

TwinCities.com - HOME

 

[VanG]

After reading post by jillo and shel90, I had a long talk with VanI. She said that she will be scare if anything bad happen to me, her mother and herself. She doesn't like anyone that can screw people up. She admitted that she saw her classmate's father who masturbation in the middle of night when her classmate and her woke up and heard noise. Curious leaded them to the room then saw it and left to room. She didn't tell any teacher, friends, and us because she was afraid her classmate might lose her father after he lost his wife due of car accident. Her classmate cried that she doesn't want anyone know. She kept secret but did asked her classmate if father ever touched her private. She said no- Today, she told me what was situation. She had been keep it secret because she was afraid that i might report which I didn't because he didn't do anything harm to her for 2 years anyway. Today, her classmate's father got remarried and live happily afterward. VanI understood how classmate feeling about if anyone report can screwed people up after she witness the crying of her classmate. I explained to her that anyone can make up story and report. It will make thing worst matter. My wife told us that if anyone whoever report and find no evidence. They can still make up story and have social worker come to our place anyway.

(sigh) Heaven---- Can't wait.

 

[Silentwolfdog]

Eh, life is not fair. I would rather be safe than sorry. So kids' safety come first regardless of sex offender's background, innocent or guilty.

The system is not perfect, innocent ones will just have to live with it, just like deaf people have to live with their deafness.

But I am not going to risk kid's life just because sex offender could be innocent. That's just a horrible gamble, imo.

Kids (even in high school) most of time aren't even mature enough to know the difference and their rights so it is our duty to protect them.

 

[VanG]

Eh, life is not fair. I would rather be safe than sorry. So kids' safety come first regardless of sex offender's background, innocent or guilty.

The system is not perfect, innocent ones will just have to live with it, just like deaf people have to live with their deafness.

But I am not going to risk kid's life just because sex offender could be innocent. That's just a horrible gamble, imo.

Kids (even in high school) most of time aren't even mature enough to know the difference and their rights so it is our duty to protect them.

Better be safe than being sorry is agree. But kids do lie to get social worker attention. There were few cases about kids lying against parents ended up in big mess. We all have to watch out for our kids and also watch out for lying. (SIGH)

 

[deafdyke]

because Courtney wants custody of Dora and cannot prove me unfit. And this is her way of getting around that now.

Awwwwww.........Bear! I really wish that the justice system understood that there are TOO many people out there who use the justice system as a revenge system. It just pisses me off. Did you ask why Bob's history wasn't relevant?
That's just so weird..........................I mean an accuser with a history of being sexually abused. I thought it was fairly common for sexually abused kids to act out sexually. That totally should be a red flag, and not a "red herring"
I hope jillo can help you...........that would be wonderful!

 

[Bear]

Awwwwww.........Bear! I really wish that the justice system understood that there are TOO many people out there who use the justice system as a revenge system. It just pisses me off. Did you ask why Bob's history wasn't relevant?
That's just so weird..........................I mean an accuser with a history of being sexually abused. I thought it was fairly common for sexually abused kids to act out sexually. That totally should be a red flag, and not a "red herring"
I hope jillo can help you...........that would be wonderful!

Actually in Bob's past he was the abuser. I know who all 4 of the little girls were. Two of them were Tom's best friend's daughters, another was a little girl who's mom I used to work with, and another one was my son's aunt neighbor girl. I told them where to find it all. And they just didn't care.

No I didn't ask, because everytime I tried to shed some doubt on this case, I was made to feel like I didn't care about my son and what he had *done.* The only answers I kept getting was "This is about your son, not Bob."

The whole thing just totally sucked in every way possible. Sometimes, I wished that I had never known Dora and her mother. Because truthfully, this is what it was about. Was getting custody of Dora and her SSI check.

Bob's mom kept trying to get me to forgive and forget. She kept saying, it wasn't me, I didn't call mom did. Mom said if I didn't tell them what happened then she would take my kids from me.

I told Bob's mom, I will never forgive you, and if anything all I really wanna do is beat the shit out of you. But I can't do that because Gabe has to come first. And an assault on my record right now would not look too good.

To this day, she keeps telling people that the reason why I haven't tried to beat her up is because I'm afraid of her. Everytime someone asks me if I am afraid of her, I have to laugh.

I know it's wrong, but I am just waiting for the day when her boys molest or rape another little girl. I know I will hear about it through my son's family when and if it does. And if it ever does, I plan to go to that child's mother and get her to take it through the courts. I also plan to get that child's mother to sue the city of Norwalk and its DJFS for not doing anything about this before. They would be liable too. Because they had knowledge of it and never investigated, making it so that the next little girl is on their hands.

I know it will happen again. The only sad thing is, that it will take another child before anything is done.

I would like to know how Courtney can be the one to originally call the police when she was 15 miles away?

 

[Bear]

Eh, life is not fair. I would rather be safe than sorry. So kids' safety come first regardless of sex offender's background, innocent or guilty.

The system is not perfect, innocent ones will just have to live with it, just like deaf people have to live with their deafness.

But I am not going to risk kid's life just because sex offender could be innocent. That's just a horrible gamble, imo.

Kids (even in high school) most of time aren't even mature enough to know the difference and their rights so it is our duty to protect them.

So you are saying that someone like my son just has to live with it? A 12 year old child has to live with it?

My suggestion to you is, go live my son's life for the past 4 years and see if you can *just live with it*.

For your sake, I hope you are never accused.

 

[Bear]

I just sent a email to the Ella Baker Center with the story of my son's case. Let's see what they reply. It may be nothing being as they are in CA, but maybe they will be able to put me in touch with someone in Ohio.

 

[Reba]

I just sent a email to the Ella Baker Center with the story of my son's case. Let's see what they reply. It may be nothing being as they are in CA, but maybe they will be able to put me in touch with someone in Ohio.

I hope so.

 

[Bear]

Reba thanks me too! More than you will ever know, I believe lol.

 

[deafdyke]

Bear, one thing that you could do is contact the media . A lot of times colluminsts and editorial page people will do a "look at this outrage" expose. Contact the major paper in your state. Hell................this might even be a good story for the NEW YORK TIMES! I read the Times occasionally and I have seen stories like your son's in it.
Is Bob's family not exactly functional? I mean what Courtney did almost sounds like what someone with severe mental illness or who is very immature would do.

You said that

And that man is in jail now for molesting Dora and her brother

That made it sound like Bob was also molested by the man.
Either Bob is VERY mentally ill, or has been sexually abused. Most kids don't just go around molesting other kids for the fun of it. Bob really needs help, otherwise he'll be one of those assholes justifying "oh kids really want to be loved!" I really think that the family might seriously be in denial and also sounds very dysfunctional.

 

[Reba]

Bear, one thing that you could do is contact the media . A lot of times colluminsts and editorial page people will do a "look at this outrage" expose. Contact the major paper in your state. Hell................this might even be a good story for the NEW YORK TIMES! I read the Times occasionally and I have seen stories like your son's in it.
Is Bob's family not exactly functional? I mean what Courtney did almost sounds like what someone with severe mental illness or who is very immature would do.

You said that That made it sound like Bob was also molested by the man.
Either Bob is VERY mentally ill, or has been sexually abused. Most kids don't just go around molesting other kids for the fun of it. Bob really needs help, otherwise he'll be one of those assholes justifying "oh kids really want to be loved!" I really think that the family might seriously be in denial and also sounds very dysfunctional.

You're right that the squeaky wheel sometimes gets noticed. Sometimes that's too much for sensitive issues involving minors. It just depends on how much Bear and her family want to face the publicity. That's a tough call indeed.