USA is the second worst place to raise kids

[Liebling:-)))]

Does Germany have laws to protect the rights of deaf people?

what´s protect the rights of deaf people do with well-being children thread here? It will end off topic post if I answer your question here. I would suggest you to create a new thread about deaf rights then I will be happy to answer your questions. (I already post about deaf rights in other threads at years ago).

This thread, we talking about children´s behavior in social life in general way.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

As someone who grew up in the UK I agree with you....children there are very rude. Remember that TV programme Grange Hill? I do believe it stems from parental neglect and lack of role models.

Grange Hill! Oh yes... I used to watch on Grange Hill a long time ago before I married in 1985... It was a good programme. I was shock when I saw TV for a first time when I was in England with my family last May 2006 and don´t like it anymore. Too different than I know in 1980.

 

[VamPyroX]

But is it the right pressure for the right things? Pressuring a child to get good grades while ignoring the fact the child cannot read, write, or do basic math is a recipe for disaster it seems to me. Yet a child can get good grades in school without accomplishing any of these things.

Any pressure that pushes a kid into a losing position is too much.

Everyone pressures others to do something. It can be in any way, persuasion, encouragement, positive attitude, etc... it doesn't necessarily have to be negative. However, doing it too much can be annoying and become a negative thing.

Suppose you're not sure about trying something new. I tell you to go for it. That's pressure... but it's encouraging.

However, I keep it up. I tell you to do it. I tell you that you will be bad if you don't do it. I keep going and going. Now, that's too much pressure... and that's bad.

Anyway, parents pressure their kids to do better in school. They may not do it directly, but indirectly by saying something that makes the kids feel that they have to do better. Then, something goes wrong... and the parents then blame the school instead.

Suppose your dad says, "If you don't get an A on your paper, you will flunk out of school and end up working at a grease burger joint flipping burgers for the rest of your life!" Now, that's not true. Just because you don't get an 'A' doesn't mean you will end up at McDonalds for the rest of your life. But, do those kids know that? No. So, they try harder in school. Something happens and they go nuts. Whose fault is that? The school?

 

[shel90]

what´s protect the rights of deaf people do with well-being children thread here? It will end off topic post if I answer your question here. I would suggest you to create a new thread about deaf rights then I will be happy to answer your questions. (I already post about deaf rights in other threads at years ago).

This thread, we talking about children´s behavior in social life in general way.

I mean for deaf children rights? Like is Germany a good place to raise children with other needs?

 

[Catmandu]

Lizachickie, can we move in with you?

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I mean for deaf children rights? Like is Germany a good place to raise children with other needs?

I hope I understand you correct. If it´s not what you are talking about then can you give me some examples about deaf children rights where to relate well-being children this thread here?

Deaf Community - Germany

Yes they have protection rights for deaf children here in Germany but they do have pros and cons. The parents recieved very low tax pay for take care of disabled children... and make good programm for them...

 

[Berry]

Everyone pressures others to do something. It can be in any way, persuasion, encouragement, positive attitude, etc... it doesn't necessarily have to be negative. However, doing it too much can be annoying and become a negative thing.

Never thought of it this way, but yes, you are right.

Anyway, parents pressure their kids to do better in school. They may not do it directly, but indirectly by saying something that makes the kids feel that they have to do better. Then, something goes wrong... and the parents then blame the school instead.

One problem here is communication. Schools do not have clear cut agendas they can show the parents. Parents, even those in the PTA, do not make it clear what they expect from the schools,the teachers, or the children.

This situation is bound to lead to missunderstandings and blame throwing.

The problem is inevitable given the system.

Perhaps the Dutch teachers and parents are simply more in agreement about the role the school should play in the child's life.

Suppose your dad says, "If you don't get an A on your paper, you will flunk out of school and end up working at a grease burger joint flipping burgers for the rest of your life!" Now, that's not true. Just because you don't get an 'A' doesn't mean you will end up at McDonalds for the rest of your life. But, do those kids know that? No. So, they try harder in school. Something happens and they go nuts. Whose fault is that? The school?

A lot of this has to do with definition and concepts, and the first concept to pop up when discussing schools is inevitavbly "success". For some reason the concepts of education and learning are seldom reffered to. For some reason success is defined as how much money you earn.

Yet a grand daughter of mine started flipping burgers at 16 and by the time she was 20 was managing the place -- Earning $35,000 a year. Hardly the worst wage I have heard of.

Many parents are illiterate, ignorant, dysfunctional, and have skewed values. Should the school system abandon them because their parents are more of a problem than a solution?

However how many teachers are going to help a child redefine the concept of success in such a way that they and the school system are less important to the childs future?

They say the Dutch expect less of the children, yet they seem to be well educated -- So perhaps they expect less in the way of conformity to rules and more in the developement of the self.

I'm not saying the Ducth are right, or the best, or even better, but I know what we are doing in the US needs serious improvement.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Never thought of it this way, but yes, you are right.

Yes I´m agree with Vampy´s post.

Perhaps the Dutch teachers and parents are simply more in agreement about the role the school should play in the child's life.

Yes that´s correct.

Here in Germany, when my children have new teachers. We parents have to attend parent evening to know our children´s new teachers better. The teacher ask us what´s our name and children´s name etc... They made their rules for their classroom and want us aware what and how the teachers did with our children etc. until we agree with their rules in classroom for our children.

We parents agree to have teacher to punish our children for not go to sport, write 50 lines, stay in classroom during break time or whatever. Its about discussion until agreement... Then we will aware what the teacher did to our children. We parents positive our children if they have problem with their teachers. If I see something what I disagree then check with teacher and listen their sides to compare with my children´s side until everything is solved... Its about respect, the children should look at our roles... instead of negative teachers to the children then children will negative teacher more and more... no good.

Many parents are illiterate, ignorant, dysfunctional, and have skewed values. Should the school system abandon them because their parents are more of a problem than a solution?

That´s how to expose the children like this which is no good. The children suppose to follow their parent´s positive roles.

However how many teachers are going to help a child redefine the concept of success in such a way that they and the school system are less important to the childs future?

Only if teachers work together with parents to develop children positive is great. If not, then is bad.

They say the Dutch expect less of the children, yet they seem to be well educated -- So perhaps they expect less in the way of conformity to rules and more in the developement of the self.

Its about respect how to expose the children like this.

I'm not saying the Ducth are right, or the best, or even better, but I know what we are doing in the US needs serious improvement.

Yes I agree... I´m bit surprised about Dutch is number one in the world because I always thought it´s Sweden, Finnland or Denmark... British needs serious improvement, too.

 

[Berry]

Here in Germany, when my children have new teachers. We parents have to attend parent evening to know our children´s new teachers better. The teacher ask us what´s our name and children´s name etc... They made their rules for their classroom and want us aware what and how the teachers did with our children etc. until we agree with their rules in classroom for our children.

We parents agree to have teacher to punish our children for not go to sport, write 50 lines, stay in classroom during break time or whatever. Its about discussion until agreement... Then we will aware what the teacher did to our children. We parents positive our children if they have problem with their teachers. If I see something what I disagree then check with teacher and listen their sides to compare with my children´s side until everything is solved... Its about respect, the children should look at our roles... instead of negative teachers to the children then children will negative teacher more and more... no good.

Not sure how many Americans you could get to do this.

Might be worth a try though.

Its about respect...

I would like to agree...

But I suspect respecting others might be UnAmerican...

So maybe I better not.

 

[mecooncat]

In here America for some parents treating their children. I'm not referring you, all. Like neighbors, on the news, etc. Like for instance, my SIL brought her daughter a new car on the same day she got her first license. She's only 16. SIL does spoiled her 3 kids rotten. They now have ATVs, snowmobiles, swimming pools, hot tubs, etc. She's a stay home mom and her husband works. They always gets what they want. I only spoiled them during birthday and Christmas, that's it. They knows the value of money.

Some parents don't care what their kids are doing like drinking, on drugs, getting into trouble. Those parents don't care about them and they could be on drugs and drinking also.

It is crazy on today's society.

 

[shel90]

I hope I understand you correct. If it´s not what you are talking about then can you give me some examples about deaf children rights where to relate well-being children this thread here?

Deaf Community - Germany

Yes they have protection rights for deaf children here in Germany but they do have pros and cons. The parents recieved very low tax pay for take care of disabled children... and make good programm for them...

Yea I went a litttlllleee tiny bit off topic. Pls forgive me ha! U mentioned earlier that u prefer Germany and I have always thought Germany would be a great country to raise a family and then I just thought ..what about deaf children. Thanks for answering and we can go back on topic.

 

[spainmale]

During the day i watch dr phil show about their family problem.The usa is the 20 rank in the country because they are clueless...

 

[jazzy]

I thought we raised our kids well. They come out great afterall.

I think what they were trying to say here, many children here in USA are living in poverty and most of them suffer because of it. I have seen enough here in my neighborhood, too many of them live in poor and they tend to get in trouble by steal other people's property. Some of them did not do well in school so they tend to kick them out of school and send them to bad kids school. Many kids goes to school hungry and they do not have time to eat free meals in the morning because of long line at lunch area. Heard some stories their teachers brought breads to classroom so those hungry kids can eat them and feel full. Sad.

Then we have middle class, alike us we could not afford health insurance for my kids when we were running own business. They do not provide health insurance for all kids alike they do for the kids who are living in poverty.
Then we have laws here believe they are so rip off. For instance they caught my son smoking and gave him ticket because he was not even 18, he would be 18 in few months. It costed me about 450 bucks to pay the fine. Judge said he does not agree with it but the lawmakers are the one who want those money. I could not believe in my state mostly republicans want $$$ to cover other areas.

Then we have gangs, they wanted my son to join one of the gang and my son refused. Of course they threatened him but he was so strong and he busted their a%^ if they try to hurt him. It happened once and they got arrested for it. Many kids went to him for their own protection. My son was good kid and will to do anything to protect them. But thank God he graduated and do well with his own life nowdays. Pressures were so bad on those kids even on my boys, too.

So I agree USA is worst place to raise kids nowdays.

 

[Reba]

Not sure how many Americans you could get to do this.

Might be worth a try though.

I would like to agree...

But I suspect respecting others might be UnAmerican...

So maybe I better not.

I know lots of American parents (hearing and Deaf) and teachers who do the same thing.

How is respecting others "unAmerican"?

 

[Opal]

I thought we raised our kids well. They come out great afterall.

I think what they were trying to say here, many children here in USA are living in poverty and most of them suffer because of it. I have seen enough here in my neighborhood, too many of them live in poor and they tend to get in trouble by steal other people's property. Some of them did not do well in school so they tend to kick them out of school and send them to bad kids school. Many kids goes to school hungry and they do not have time to eat free meals in the morning because of long line at lunch area. Heard some stories their teachers brought breads to classroom so those hungry kids can eat them and feel full. Sad.

Then we have middle class, alike us we could not afford health insurance for my kids when we were running own business. They do not provide health insurance for all kids alike they do for the kids who are living in poverty.
Then we have laws here believe they are so rip off. For instance they caught my son smoking and gave him ticket because he was not even 18, he would be 18 in few months. It costed me about 450 bucks to pay the fine. Judge said he does not agree with it but the lawmakers are the one who want those money. I could not believe in my state mostly republicans want $$$ to cover other areas.

Then we have gangs, they wanted my son to join one of the gang and my son refused. Of course they threatened him but he was so strong and he busted their a%^ if they try to hurt him. It happened once and they got arrested for it. Many kids went to him for their own protection. My son was good kid and will to do anything to protect them. But thank God he graduated and do well with his own life nowdays. Pressures were so bad on those kids even on my boys, too.

So I agree USA is worst place to raise kids nowdays.

Far out - you must be kidding??? Never heard of police arrest under-age kids for smoking!!!!

In Australia, its other way round, the police arrest the shop Owner for selling it to underage children and heavy fine!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Yea I went a litttlllleee tiny bit off topic. Pls forgive me ha! U mentioned earlier that u prefer Germany and I have always thought Germany would be a great country to raise a family and then I just thought ..what about deaf children. Thanks for answering and we can go back on topic.

No Problem

Yes I prefer Germany over England because it's the best place for raise the children and children-friendly enivornment... It's not just for hearing but deaf as well.

 

[Sunshinelady]

Netherlands? Huh? that country where marijuana and prostitution is legal. Is it the best place for the children to grow up?

I thought that Sweden, Denmark or Finnland is the number one...

Well, I´m not surprised about British children´s behavior because I withnessed their low self-esteem behavior in England. The parents often make children angry is label them as stupid, silly, and more negative... I beleive that their social life are not good one. They do not get what they need from their parents is time, love, respect, praise, understanding, discipline, affection, etc. but problem to communicate with overprotective parents, that´s how they are rebel against their overprotective parents. They didn´t know how to say "please" and "thank you". Oh Well...

I know what I am saying because I was raise in England and compare with Germany. I would say that Germans are more children-friendly than UK. To me, there´re anti-children atomopshere, it make children feel unwelcome... In England, the children are not welcome to some pubs, restaurants, weddings, etc... No wonder, that they didn´t know how to show their respect on alcohol, but fighting and abusive behavior.... A lot of children are tyrants against their parents and school and also public...

I remember when I was in England with my family last May 2006... We, my friend & her daughter & my Aunt catched the bus... My 65 years old Aunt was about sit on the bus seat but the teenager is too fast than her and sat before her.. I was like but my son offered a seat for my Aunt to sit... I gave a teenager dirty look... My Aunt said that it´s not first time... that teenagers show no respect for elder people... What a sad *sigh*

My Dad & brother look at my boys and said that my both sons are well being behaved and know how act manner way which is total different as my nephew & niece.

That´s why I choose better place to live in Germany for children to raise.

yes same here. i thought best of Denmark, Sweden, Norway or Finnland....

i am confused, right now!.. i cant imagine Netherland 1st place. i know Netherland got different law. I dont like it. *oh gosh* its 1st place... oh noooo!!!!

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Far out - you must be kidding??? Never heard of police arrest under-age kids for smoking!!!!

In Australia, its other way round, the police arrest the shop Owner for selling it to underage children and heavy fine!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes I second that...

Why arrest the children for? It's shop owner who is the responsible to sell the cigarettes...

Here in Germany, the shop owners are not allow to sell cigarettes, alochols and DVD/video/CD (accord age restriction).

 

[Liebling:-)))]

yes same here. i thought best of Denmark, Sweden, Norway or Finnland....

i am confused, right now!.. i cant imagine Netherland 1st place. i know Netherland got different law. I dont like it. *oh gosh* its 1st place... oh noooo!!!!

Yes I agree with you on this. I always thought that Sweden, Denmark or Finnland is number one and then second to fifth place is Norway, Switerzland, Austria, Germany, Italy.... I'm total :jaw:

I have seen and disagree with Netherland's law, too. They sells drugs in the shop... They can smoke pots in the Cafe house. They allow to grew drugs/weed in their garden.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I know lots of American parents (hearing and Deaf) and teachers who do the same thing.

How is respecting others "unAmerican"?

Yes I wondering the same.