That's it, that's it, that's Effing it!!!!!!!

deafskeptic said:
Perhaps this is a bit off topic but what if the domestic victims can't afford stuff like car insurance or health insurance and the controlling member of the family is paying for this? How will they take care of these expenses?
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The coalition can help with these issues. The first priority is to be in a safe environment. Once that is achieved, everything else can be worked out.

Financial reasons are one of the most often used reasons for not leaving an abusive relationship. But that car insurance isn't going to do you or your kid any good if you are dead.
 
Dixie said:
I know, and I feel bad for it. He's never gone after her, but he's threatened me and so forth. After I moved back in, I thought we had settled our differences for the most part, but now it's just getting back to like it was before.

Now I can't hit back because he would call the police out and have me arrested for assault, I'm just not going to take that risk. That's why if I feel like it's going to get physical I just grab my DD and head out of the house for a few hours.

Tonight he threatened to bust the windows out in my truck, just because I locked it. This guy is nuts. Hopefully M will call me in the morning. This is getting ridiculous.

In the last month or so it's really gone downhill. I don't know why and I don't know what I've done.
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Damn. I think you better get out ASAP.
 
deafskeptic said:
Very well. I'm in a similar situation though not as voilent as Dixie. I did try to get help a year or so ago but then backed out. I'm not baking out this time. Something that member of my family did earlier this spring was the last straw. As soon as my leg heals, i'm getting out.
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It takes an average of 7 times leaving before a victim finally leaves and stays gone.
 
It's NOT what you've done!!! Please do not think like that. That's what an abuser wants you to think.

It's on him, not you.
 
jillio said:
The coalition can help with these issues. The first priority is to be in a safe environment. Once that is achieved, everything else can be worked out.

Financial reasons are one of the most often used reasons for not leaving an abusive relationship. But that car insurance isn't going to do you or your kid any good if you are dead.
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I'll look into it again. I will also need to figure out a way to see doctors as I have to see tons of them and they prefer to call that member of the family so he can email me for appointments.
 
Dixie said:
I know, and I feel bad for it. He's never gone after her, but he's threatened me and so forth. After I moved back in, I thought we had settled our differences for the most part, but now it's just getting back to like it was before.

Now I can't hit back because he would call the police out and have me arrested for assault, I'm just not going to take that risk. That's why if I feel like it's going to get physical I just grab my DD and head out of the house for a few hours.

Tonight he threatened to bust the windows out in my truck, just because I locked it. This guy is nuts. Hopefully M will call me in the morning. This is getting ridiculous.

In the last month or so it's really gone downhill. I don't know why and I don't know what I've done.
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You know what I tell women who say, "But he's never hit the kids"? I tell them just wait. It will happen if they stick around.
 
deafskeptic said:
I'll look into it again. I will also need to figure out a way to see doctors as I have to see tons of them and they prefer to call that member of the family so he can email me for appointments.
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We'll just have to figure out an alternative for your doctor communication. The doctor can email you himself. No more trouble than making a phone call to a 3rd party.
 
jillio said:
It takes an average of 7 times leaving before a victim finally leaves and stays gone.
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What's worse is that I had the feeling some didn't believe me because my situation isn't overly volient.
 
jillio said:
We'll just have to figure out an alternative for your doctor communication. The doctor can email you himself.
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One of my doctor can't cuz they don't have internet though they do have computers. the rest of my doctors should be able to do so.
 
deafskeptic said:
What's worse is that I had the feeling some didn't believe me because my situation isn't overly volient.
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That is a common fear, as well. Just because it has not gotten physical does not mean that you are not suffering violence.
 
deafskeptic said:
One of my doctor can't cuz they don't have internet though they do have computers. the rest of my doctors should be able to do so.
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There has to be someone else they can call. The coalition that I was with for 2 years took business calls of all kinds for our clients. We did not want anyone to know how to reach them when they were in the safe house so there was no chance of the abuser getting that info even accidentally.
 
jillio said:
That is a common fear, as well. Just because it has not gotten physical does not mean that you are not suffering violence.
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There's been a great deal of emotional abuse. I think I told you about that a while ago..
 
jillio said:
You know what I tell women who say, "But he's never hit the kids"? I tell them just wait. It will happen if they stick around.
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I feel like he's treating me more like a 'spouse' than an adult child. Albeit one he likes to use as a proverbial punching bag. =/

If I can get out somehow in 2-3 weeks, I think everyone will be better off. Last week I said I was nearly at my breaking point. This week either I'm there or I'm one step away from it.

I got out of the house for a night and day, took my DD with me. We had peace, happiness, and laughter. The only sad thing was when we had to return home. I know that no place on earth will be perfect, but I just want MORE of the good and less of the bad.
 
jillio said:
There has to be someone else they can call. The coalition that I was with for 2 years took business calls of all kinds for our clients. We did not want anyone to know how to reach them when they were in the safe house so there was no chance of the abuser getting that info even accidentally.
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hmm.. Maybe I can make an arrangement with them.
 
Dixie said:
I feel like he's treating me more like a 'spouse' than an adult child. Albeit one he likes to use as a proverbial punching bag. =/

If I can get out somehow in 2-3 weeks, I think everyone will be better off. Last week I said I was nearly at my breaking point. This week either I'm there or I'm one step away from it.

I got out of the house for a night and day, took my DD with me. We had peace, happiness, and laughter. The only sad thing was when we had to return home. I know that no place on earth will be perfect, but I just want MORE of the good and less of the bad.
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Or a child. :P
 
I have a doctor who can't be bothered to e-mail me, either, so I know the aggravation. Is he close enough that you can stop by to make your appointments in person?

PITA when they can't at least drop a postcard. My dentist has a system where every patient leaves a self-addressed postcard filled out with the date of the next check-up, 6 months down the road, and then that is dropped in the mail a month before the appointment. Painless. Wish others would do that.

OT, but had to rant a bit about uncooperative doctors. I feel for you if you have to schedule a lot of appointments with the "I can't bother to e-mail you" doc.
 
Beach girl said:
I have a doctor who can't be bothered to e-mail me, either, so I know the aggravation. Is he close enough that you can stop by to make your appointments in person?

PITA when they can't at least drop a postcard. My dentist has a system where every patient leaves a self-addressed postcard filled out with the date of the next check-up, 6 months down the road, and then that is dropped in the mail a month before the appointment. Painless. Wish others would do that.

OT, but had to rant a bit about uncooperative doctors. I feel for you if you have to schedule a lot of appointments with the "I can't bother to e-mail you" doc.
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it's about 10 miles or so.
 
Dixie said:
I feel like he's treating me more like a 'spouse' than an adult child. Albeit one he likes to use as a proverbial punching bag. =/

If I can get out somehow in 2-3 weeks, I think everyone will be better off. Last week I said I was nearly at my breaking point. This week either I'm there or I'm one step away from it.

I got out of the house for a night and day, took my DD with me. We had peace, happiness, and laughter. The only sad thing was when we had to return home. I know that no place on earth will be perfect, but I just want MORE of the good and less of the bad.
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And you deserve more of the good. No one deserves to put up with what you are going through.
 
deafskeptic said:
it's about 10 miles or so.
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I have tried to explain why I didn't want her to call my relative but I guess I may have to find a new family doctor. She kept saying "he loved me very much and that's why he's doing this."
 
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