"Rick, I am under the impression that you're trying to discount our experiences with struggling to fit with the hearing. It may that that this isn't the impression you wanted to give."
TIMEOUT!!!
I am not attempting to discount anyone's experiences nor ignore the fact that a deaf child in a mainstream setting faces social issues that hearing kids do not. So you are correct, that is not the impression I was giving.
I thought instead of just going in shooting first and asking questions later, that I would ask DD first what she meant. I also know from past discussions with her, that although we differ on things, you ask her a question, you get an honest response. What I wanted to know was first, a definition of the term DD was using, so I could understand what she meant by a comment she frequently makes about oral deaf kids. Second, I wanted to know what was her factual basis as she frequently states that "many of them" have significant social issues.
In my personal experiences primarily involving oral mainstreamed ci kids that has not been the case so I am curious to see how widespread it is. From DD's response she compares the oral deaf kids to those with Asperger's and non-verbal symptoms, well my wife is a Spec Ed teacher and has had several Asperger kids and one non-verbal child and from her personal and professional experiences, it is not the best comparison. Also, I now know that DD's basis for using the term "many" comes from a reference from some book on methodologies that said some other research suggested that some, not "many", oral kids have significant social issues, it is not based upon personal experiences other than her own.
Having raised and continuing to raise a deaf child, I know that life is not always a "bowl of cherries" that there are disappointments and frustrations that my child and others have faced but I also personally know some really good kids, not "superstars", but nice kids, with good heads on their shoulders. They seem to have survived, like most, their high school years with some bad experiences mixed in with some positive ones. However, they do not give any outward appearances of suffering from "significant social issues". So why? Is it the ci? Is it the strong oral background? Is it the family environment? A combination of all three? Something else? Whatever it is, it is different from what others are describing. So please forgive me for having the audacity of asking questions, I guess it would have been more acceptable to have just told her she was wrong.
So, I guess I too must ask the same question: are you (not you personally) discounting my experiences? Why are you so quick to say that they are solely anecdotal? Why are my motives for asking a question challenged while you say nothing to others?
my word, I didn't do what virtually every dhh kid does, and to put my hearing loss in perspective "I" could never hear the tv from upstairs (while aided) hmmm, come to think of it my oldest didn't do st either and she was aided at 9 I think, she did have a few minor pronunciation problems but not enough to get put in speech. Oh and a nephew how used an fm system during his elementy years never st to. Exactly how deaf are you talking about? Perhaps we weren't deaf enough. 
