Putting your deaf children in which schools...and why?

dogmom said:
:wave: Jillio, I agree with Miss-Delectable in her :ty: for sharing the experiences and perceptions of the kids in the support group and for your thoughts on it! And Kristina, what you wrote about your schooling reminded me of my husband, who has shared his experiences with me too- he is very bright but did average in school and was not very interested in it because he couldn't hear anything and people all thought he DID hear and "wasn't interested" or was "too self-absorbed" - now it is true he can be VERY self-focused and intense but I wonder to what degree that was increased by his experiences. I think he had a body aid as a young kid for a couple of years and then for a couple of years in high school he had BTE's.

and also this reminds me - although I know many things about it are not the same - of my situation where I struggled with certain things in school for so long <LD> and people just thought I "wasn't interested" and I rememeber how hard it was being surrounded by kids who just understood something - and I didn't. As is common with LD, my dear mom just isn't able to see this part of me and will declare given the opportunity that I certainly DON'T have LD.
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And you are welcome, as well. Yes, it does occur to kids with other disabilities, as well. Particularly those we call "invisible disabilities". It seems to be easier to deny that they exist because there isn't a visual reminder everytime you look at the child. I suspect that is one of the reasons that kids with visable disabilities, in general, end up better adjusted and accepting of their disability. Parents must admit and deal with it. It is visable and can't be denied. As a result, the children develop superior coping skills and adjustment.
 
faire_jour said:
You know that school is often hell for kids who aren't deaf, right? Why do you thinkteen suicide happens? Or Columbine?
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You really don't know, do you. As a mainstreamed student all my life, it is like watching other kids like a fishbowl. You can't talk about being deaf around them either because they can't relate to that. It make them uncomfortable.

If you were in the wrong type of school, your deafness is always the butt of the joke no matter what or how well you can hear. Kids will keep throwing deafness at your face all the time, constantly reminding you that deaf is worthless. You become timid and shy because you feel you can't do anything right around these hearing people. You compare your work with others and all it does is leave you feeling that everyone is smarter than you (when in fact, the school was using the wrong approach to teach the deaf all along). Shame, isolation, oppression, intimidating etc. All those combined is what some deaf people experience in some mainstreamed school.
 
jillio said:
And you are welcome, as well. Yes, it does occur to kids with other disabilities, as well. Particularly those we call "invisible disabilities". It seems to be easier to deny that they exist because there isn't a visual reminder everytime you look at the child. I suspect that is one of the reasons that kids with visable disabilities, in general, end up better adjusted and accepting of their disability. Parents must admit and deal with it. It is visable and can't be denied. As a result, the children develop superior coping skills and adjustment.
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yes. They are hearing so they can handle auditory learning. they do have a hard time and get picked on. And it is hard for them to find someone who can relate to them and actually stay friends with them. They are left by themselves in lunchtime. I wanted to sit with them, but their speech is alittle difficult for someone who is deaf like me to understand and it make both of us uncomfortable. I know several people who have Learning disability and people pick on him ALL the time as well because he doesn't act to their standard. It was terrible.
 
A said:
You really don't know, do you. As a mainstreamed student all my life, it is like watching other kids like a fishbowl. You can't talk about being deaf around them either because they can't relate to that. It make them uncomfortable.

If you were in the wrong type of school, your deafness is always the butt of the joke no matter what or how well you can hear. Kids will keep throwing deafness at your face all the time, constantly reminding you that deaf is worthless. You become timid and shy because you feel you can't do anything right around these hearing people. You compare your work with others and all it does is leave you feeling that everyone is smarter than you (when in fact, the school was using the wrong approach to teach the deaf all along). Shame, isolation, oppression, intimidating etc. All those combined is what some deaf people experience in some mainstreamed school.
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The idea that if you were in another placement it would be sunshine and rainbow is crap. I was just pointing out that there are people who have horrible high school experiences that have nothing to do with being deaf. Very few people have never had these experiences. It would be one in 1000 students that would not have experienced shame, isolation, intimating, etc in school.

I get that deafness is a huge barrier in the mainstream, it blocks communication both with peers and from accessing the curriculum. But really, everyone struggles in some way in school. I don't think it is fair that you were unable to access the curriculum, that is unforgivable. But if they hadn't teased you for being deaf, it would have been your hair, or your weight, or that you were dumb, or smart, or slutty, or a prude....kids are cruel. It doesn't make it ok, and it doesn't take away the emotional issues that are caused by it, but kids suck and public school sucks.

Is someone telling me that Deaf schools have no bullies, or do they just tease about thing that aren't deafness?
 
faire_jour said:
The idea that if you were in another placement it would be sunshine and rainbow is crap. I was just pointing out that there are people who have horrible high school experiences that have nothing to do with being deaf. Very few people have never had these experiences. It would be one in 1000 students that would not have experienced shame, isolation, intimating, etc in school.

I get that deafness is a huge barrier in the mainstream, it blocks communication both with peers and from accessing the curriculum. But really, everyone struggles in some way in school. I don't think it is fair that you were unable to access the curriculum, that is unforgivable. But if they hadn't teased you for being deaf, it would have been your hair, or your weight, or that you were dumb, or smart, or slutty, or a prude....kids are cruel. It doesn't make it ok, and it doesn't take away the emotional issues that are caused by it, but kids suck and public school sucks.

Is someone telling me that Deaf schools have no bullies, or do they just tease about thing that aren't deafness?
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People with other issues that aren't deaf are not of relevence to this thread. It is about deaf students and their experience. But here you go again, discounting the experience of a deaf poster.:roll:
 
jillio said:
People with other issues that aren't deaf are not of relevence to this thread. It is about deaf students and their experience. But here you go again, discounting the experience of a deaf poster.:roll:
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Actually, isn't it supposed to be about where parents would place their deaf child is school, and why?
 
faire_jour said:
Actually, isn't it supposed to be about where parents would place their deaf child is school, and why?
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And the experiences of deaf adults have great bearing on the reasons why they would put their child in a particular placement. Their comments are related to the thread. Comments regarding Columbine aren't. Nor are comments disparaging the deaf posters' school experiences.
 
faire_jour said:
The idea that if you were in another placement it would be sunshine and rainbow is crap. I was just pointing out that there are people who have horrible high school experiences that have nothing to do with being deaf. Very few people have never had these experiences. It would be one in 1000 students that would not have experienced shame, isolation, intimating, etc in school.

I get that deafness is a huge barrier in the mainstream, it blocks communication both with peers and from accessing the curriculum. But really, everyone struggles in some way in school. I don't think it is fair that you were unable to access the curriculum, that is unforgivable. But if they hadn't teased you for being deaf, it would have been your hair, or your weight, or that you were dumb, or smart, or slutty, or a prude....kids are cruel. It doesn't make it ok, and it doesn't take away the emotional issues that are caused by it, but kids suck and public school sucks.

Is someone telling me that Deaf schools have no bullies, or do they just tease about thing that aren't deafness?
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Some kids have few issues, but we have issues in 3-Ds all around. Socially, acedemically, and so on. (and I know hearing kids are like that too and I think it is just as horrible) Even my husband's old co-workers who went to school with me, and he get picked on often too.. but guess what he told my husband (I wasn't around when he said this)? "the kids treated your wife HORRIBLE in school" That should tell you that much
 
but it isn't the bullies, it's the school system that bother me the most. I don't care about bullies at all.

The bullies/ audism are just the final straw of the problem for me. I just get sick and tired of trying to live up to hearing standards when nothing is gained out of it.
 
faire_jour said:
The idea that if you were in another placement it would be sunshine and rainbow is crap. I was just pointing out that there are people who have horrible high school experiences that have nothing to do with being deaf. Very few people have never had these experiences. It would be one in 1000 students that would not have experienced shame, isolation, intimating, etc in school.

I get that deafness is a huge barrier in the mainstream, it blocks communication both with peers and from accessing the curriculum. But really, everyone struggles in some way in school. I don't think it is fair that you were unable to access the curriculum, that is unforgivable. But if they hadn't teased you for being deaf, it would have been your hair, or your weight, or that you were dumb, or smart, or slutty, or a prude....kids are cruel. It doesn't make it ok, and it doesn't take away the emotional issues that are caused by it, but kids suck and public school sucks.

Is someone telling me that Deaf schools have no bullies, or do they just tease about thing that aren't deafness?
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I am sorry FJ..until u have experience what it is like being deaf and being mainstreamed, your argument is moot.
 
shel90 said:
I am sorry FJ..until u have experience what it is like being deaf and being mainstreamed, your argument is moot.
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This place is ridiculous. The statement at the top "Hearing people are welcome" should be amended to "hearing people who agree with the majority and will fall into line and never express a different opinion are welcome."
 
what is there to disagree about my statement?

Late deafened knows alot about isolation and then have all these issues on top of them. They used to be hearing and I'm sure they understand.
 
faire_jour said:
This place is ridiculous. The statement at the top "Hearing people are welcome" should be amended to "hearing people who agree with the majority and will fall into line and never express a different opinion are welcome."
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But you have never experienced what it is like to be in our shoes. Trying to compare our experiences to hearing kids' problems is like apples to oranges.

Hearing kids never had restricted access to language, communication, and information. Many of us were under constant stress of trying to keep with up with our hearing peers in addition to the bullying we endured.

It was HORRIBLE!
 
btw, FJ, since you brought up suicidal, ther are plenty of deaf people who are very suidical. To make matters worst, they can't really access to healthcare rather they use sign or they are oral only (they can't really communicate too well) . At least that's what I'm reading from science articles.
 
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A said:
what is there to disagree about my statement?

Late deafened knows alot about isolation and then have all these issues on top of them. They used to be hearing and I'm sure they understand.
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Totally get what you're saying. I'm one of those.
 
Wirelessly posted

shel90 said:
I am sorry FJ..until u have experience what it is like being deaf and being mainstreamed, your argument is moot.
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Here's what gets me the most: if i dared write "until you have been a hearing parent of a deaf child your opinion is moot" i would be torn apart as an audistm but because you are deaf and i am hearing you can discount me and say my opinion is worthless all you want and no one sees a damn thing wrong with it.
 
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You can speak about your own feelings as a parent and your own experience.. as long as you don't speak for your daughter and how she feels.
 
faire_jour said:
Wirelessly posted



Here's what gets me the most: if i dared write "until you have been a hearing parent of a deaf child your opinion is moot" i would be torn apart as an audistm but because you are deaf and i am hearing you can discount me and say my opinion is worthless all you want and no one sees a damn thing wrong with it.
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U can write about your experiences as a hearing mom of a deaf child. My mom couldnt write about my experiences cuz she has NO idea no matter how much I have explained to her over and over again.
 
faire_jour said:
Wirelessly posted



Here's what gets me the most: if i dared write "until you have been a hearing parent of a deaf child your opinion is moot" i would be torn apart as an audistm but because you are deaf and i am hearing you can discount me and say my opinion is worthless all you want and no one sees a damn thing wrong with it.
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Not really - some of us have been on both sides of the fence, so we know. Yes, you are the hearing parent of a deaf child and while I commend your efforts with your daughter, please remember, that not all of us were as blessed as your daughter has been. We know what we went through and what we never want our children to go through. Please understand that.

I have been hearing (hoh) with a hoh son going to public school and I have also been total deaf with the same hoh son. I have also been both hearing (hoh) and total deaf with a daughter with severe speech issues and learning disabilities. Lack of proper services for daughter and issues with the school prompted me to home school. While I do not advocate that for everyone, it worked for us. Daughter still struggles and when is stressed or over-tired her speech takes a nosedive. She took speech therapy both in public school and through a private company paid for by social security (she was on SSDI).
 
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