I don't have lots to say right now but am agreeing with much already said:
RR, this bit strikes me:
"And this is where they start to make "allowances" by mistake instead of accommodations , saying she is "doing well considering..." or that never mind that her exam mark in French listening was non-existent because we know she's deaf... how about an alternate exam instead? It's not good enough just to "understand why it would be difficult to join debate team" - make it possible!" --I didn't do well in french class with tapes being played, but in my (separate from the other students) oral exams the teacher read out the scripts to me, and I did well (got an A I think, I loved French). But I know it's apples and oranges as I'm hoh and not deaf. I know Lissa didn't get to do French (we were both in mainstream high school with bits of special ed units)- personally I think it's unfair- if she can go to English class then why not French? Even with an FM system the tapes in French weren't very understandable- did a teacher read out the script to your daughter?
RR...you say what I'm thinking!
"And often they just don't see the problems at all or don't see them for what they are. I was always in trouble for being "miserable" and "not mixing very well with the other children" - could that possibly be because I had no idea what the other children were on about?" --the other kids would either make fun of me or have to repeat 'hi, how are you' 3 times because of the background noise in class- so no wonder I didn't socialise- I could only understand people sat right next to me!
Finally, I'm quoting the wonderful jillio:
"Unfortunately, this is very true. And many don't find out until the child is well into adulthood. The parent spends the child's entire school career believing everything is just hunkie dorie. Then the child becomes a young adult and starts to manifest issues that were created in the mainstream, such as anxiety disorders, eating disorders, adjustment disorders, depression, etc." -- how did you KNOW?? I've had nearly all of those; whether my school life contributed is debatable but I certainly don't remember them fondly most of the time.
I don't know if this fits into the discussion anywhere, but my infant school teacher, Miss Fardy, was horrid. I don't remember her, but mum says she overheard her at parents evening telling all the parents that their kids were too noisy and ran around too much! We were 5 and 6! Apparently she smacked me for 'destroying' a wendy (toy) house but I don't remember this. She is the same teacher who, upon my hearing test results, said 'Oh, I thought she was just being rude and ignoring me'. My mum queried her after she saw other kids coming out of school with little books when she came to pick me up. Apparently Miss Fardy didn't think I was 'ready' to learn to read! I was reading a little at home, and I distinctly remember reading my 5th birthday card from my Nanna out loud. Mum went straight to the library and taught me how to read properly herself...
N.B. I always wanted to find this 'teacher' and causally mention that I have an English degree now.