new to hearing loss... struggling with very unsupportive parents

sorry this is happening. You have to think and I think you are doing this. You are 17yrs old and this is a very hard time for you. You have to try and find your aides and if you do just use them away from home. You have to graduate in order to get a head and a Medical field would be great.. can you talk to your mom,maybe she would help you at least find them . I wish you look, but you may have to go get some help.even to get more aides. voc rehab maybe able to help. it doesnt hurt to ask.
 
el...888 said:
thanks to everybody for all the suggesstions and the contact information thats been posted. Its really daunting the idea of contacting any of them as i don't want to rock the boat at home. Also it's just hit me that i'll never have normal hearing again like i used to. Things are different now and i'm going to have to learn to deal with it all! Being hard of hearing was previously something that had never ever even crossed my mind and now all of a sudden i have a hearing loss and i'm finding it hard to adjust. I'd imagine being able to wear hearing aids may make things a bit easier for me??... but i don't know how long it will be before i can wear them.
Maybe as much as i dont want to and as daunting as it is i may just have to contact one of those organisations as not being able to wear hearing aids and therefore not being able to hear is only going to cause me problems isnt it?? :(
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Yes, it is just going to cause you problems. Sometimes what we need to do to help ourselves is a difficult thing to do; but it is still necessary.

Here's another take. Since at the age of 16 your parents do not have to be involved with your medical care, how about making an appt with a counselor? Explain to the counselor what is going on at home at let him/her assist you with the solution. It could take notifiying the authorities out of your hands. They will also be able to help you with adjusting to your new situation of not hearing well.
 
A lot of excellent advice has been said on here, and there isn't much more I can add. I do admire you for being strong. I'm really sorry that your parents are making the situation even more difficult for you.

Adjusting to sudden hearing loss is not going to be an easy task, obviously. Please reach out to someone in your hometown who can help you through this experience.
 
i have now asked for some help from a local organisation... they're coming into my school tomoro to talk with me and some of my teachers

i'm really really nervous about it but hopefully it could be a small step in the right direction at least!
 
Great! I think you re doing the right thing to do that you took a small step. In case, if you get your HA back and hide them somewhere in your own for your own needs. On the side, it would be nice if you have some spare time to learn BSL and meet others who are in the similiar expereinces as yours. So stay strong!
 
el...888 said:
i have now asked for some help from a local organisation... They're coming into my school tomoro to talk with me and some of my teachers

i'm really really nervous about it but hopefully it could be a small step in the right direction at least!
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so proud of you!
 
el...888 said:
i have now asked for some help from a local organisation... they're coming into my school tomoro to talk with me and some of my teachers

i'm really really nervous about it but hopefully it could be a small step in the right direction at least!
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Well done! That took courage. Let us know how it goes tomorrow el...888 :h5:
 
Obviously el.. 888 a major step in resolution. Hopefully your parents will alter their misguided actions to date-with no major "trouble to you"- eg move.

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07
 
el...888 said:
i have now asked for some help from a local organisation... they're coming into my school tomoro to talk with me and some of my teachers

i'm really really nervous about it but hopefully it could be a small step in the right direction at least!
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Good for you! You are to be commended and admired for taking the steps necessary to make sure your needs are met. I wish you the very best of results.
 
Good for you!! I hope it goes all well and have plan to sort out your problems and hopefully able to wear hearing aids again. Good luck!!
 
well it definitely didnt go as well as i hoped!! i messed up... i was really nervous and tried not make my parents look bad and even ended up practically defending them! :(

disapointed with myself but maybe there will be a silver lining and it'll end up a step in the right direction!
 
I'm sorry to hear it didn't turn out well as you hoped. Can you meet them yourselves without parents? Maybe you can relax bit more, without worrying upsetting your parents and all that.
 
el...888 said:
well it definitely didnt go as well as i hoped!! i messed up... i was really nervous and tried not make my parents look bad and even ended up practically defending them! :(

disapointed with myself but maybe there will be a silver lining and it'll end up a step in the right direction!
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sorry hear sad! solve problem tried! I wonder you have problem parents! focus on your life! I understand your feeling mess on hard to complication!
 
el...888 said:
well it definitely didnt go as well as i hoped!! i messed up... i was really nervous and tried not make my parents look bad and even ended up practically defending them! :(

disapointed with myself but maybe there will be a silver lining and it'll end up a step in the right direction!
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Sorry to read that it didn't go as well as you'd hoped. Learn from this and don't give up finding a way that's better for you.
 
Also remember that being at home doesn't last forever. Soon you will be able to move out and have your own home and do things the way you want.
 
It's interesting that you ended up almost defending your parents. That's a common reaction. There's a feeling "I can criticize my family, but no one else can!" It's like a defensive mechanism that kicks in.

Can you tell us more about why it went badly? Do you feel like you can try again? Any hope of movement on your dad's part? Most important - did you get your aids back and can you wear them now?
 
el...888 said:
well it definitely didnt go as well as i hoped!! i messed up... i was really nervous and tried not make my parents look bad and even ended up practically defending them! :(

disapointed with myself but maybe there will be a silver lining and it'll end up a step in the right direction!
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I'm sorry that the meeting did not go as well as you wanted it to. But there is always the opportunity to have another meeting.

And, even though you tried not to make your parents look bad and ended in defending them, the professionals are used to seeing behavior like this in someone who has been in an abusive situation. Believe it or not, it is very common for a child who has been abused to defend the parent who did the abusing. And professionals can tell when that is happening. So maybe it was more successful that you suspect.
 
Beach girl said:
It's interesting that you ended up almost defending your parents. That's a common reaction. There's a feeling "I can criticize my family, but no one else can!" It's like a defensive mechanism that kicks in.

Can you tell us more about why it went badly? Do you feel like you can try again? Any hope of movement on your dad's part? Most important - did you get your aids back and can you wear them now?
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yeah, i think it's a bit unfair what my parents are doing, but it seemed that i couldnt help but defend them!! i didnt mean to

i tried to explain how i've been struggling in school because i cant hear so well and how i've been having a hard time in general because of all this but i struggled to get my point across because i couldnt really hear what was being said to me and i was trying not too make my parents look bad

No i didnt get my aids back yet... all i've managed to do is make my parents really really angry!

I dont really think i have a choice but to try again... its too important! They want to have another meeting with my parents on monday so maybe that will go a bit better!
 
el...888 said:
yeah, i think it's a bit unfair what my parents are doing, but it seemed that i couldnt help but defend them!! i didnt mean to

i tried to explain how i've been struggling in school because i cant hear so well and how i've been having a hard time in general because of all this but i struggled to get my point across because i couldnt really hear what was being said to me and i was trying not too make my parents look bad

No i didnt get my aids back yet... all i've managed to do is make my parents really really angry!

I dont really think i have a choice but to try again... its too important! They want to have another meeting with my parents on monday so maybe that will go a bit better!
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It is great that they are meeting with your parents again. They obviously are sensing that something is not quite right in the situation.

You are going to have to put the fear of making your parents angry aside and place your own welfare as your first priority. If your parents were making your welfare the first priority, as would be expected from a parent, none of this would be necessary.
 
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