new to hearing loss... struggling with very unsupportive parents

[DeafCaroline]

It is strange for a school board to "get excited about the colour of an earmold". I can't recall such an action here in Canada- other countries- U K ?

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07

At private and boarding schools, they do have strict dress codes.

 

[jillio]

It is strange for a school board to "get excited about the colour of an earmold". I can't recall such an action here in Canada- other countries- U K ?

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07

el...888 is not in Canada, nor is it the school board that does not approve of the ear mold color. It is school administrators.

 

[jillio]

At private and boarding schools, they do have strict dress codes.

True, that. My son attended a private deaf school, and had to adhere to a strict dress code. Ear mold color was not an issue, however, but piercings and jewelry worn certainly was. Uniforms were worn.

 

[drphil]

As a factual matter is el...888 in a "private school" or "boarding school" which may'/does have "standards re colour of ear molds OR Hearing aids themselves"?

Also, presumably "administrators" would execute "board policies" which would be "communicated-written?" to persons "affected" PRIOR TO BEING ACCEPTED?
I was never in a Private or boarding school. Nor had my hearing loss "Happened" then. A few years later.

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07

 

[AOS]

new to hearing loss... struggling with very unsupportive parents
hey I didn’t know where to post this… I hope here is ok

I’m new to hearing loss and I’m having some problems adapting. I’m 17 and was diagnosed with a moderate-severe bilateral sensorineural hearing loss in march. The cause of my hearing loss is unknown and less than 6 months ago I had normal hearing. Losing my hearing was a massive shock as I’ve never had any problems with ear infections or anything like that. I’m really struggling to adapt and had never realised before how much I depended on being able to hear well!

Shortly after diagnosis I was fitted with BTE hearing aids on the NHS. This helped my hearing greatly but I find wearing hearing aids very uncomfortable and hate the feeling of having my ears ‘plugged up’. Also, I’m finding it difficult to get used to how everything sounds with my hearing aids. Everything sounds weird and I find it hard to make out what people are saying.

However, the main problem I have is the attitude my parents have towards my hearing loss. They are embarrassed that I have lost some hearing and are ashamed of me needing hearing aids. They don’t like me wearing hearing aids and ever since I got them at the beginning of april they have taken every opportunity to tease me for it and make me feel completely worthless simply because my hearing isn’t as good.

They don’t like me wearing hearing aids to the extent that recently my dad won’t let me wear them. He says it’s pathetic and embarrassing that a 17 year old should need hearing aids and has taken them from me. Now that I can’t hear very much I’m really struggling especially at school. I really don’t know what to do and any advice would be greatly appreciated

thanks

Your dad "sounds" Old School. My father is similar. I am 44 yrs old and have yet to figure out how to communicate with him. There are days that I am bold enough to say, "I love you as you are father as you have taught me in life. Please continue to teach me and love me as I am" Unfortunately, that seems to shut down the conversation altogether but I hope it does make him at least consider where "we" are coming from.
Over the years I have found the positive-negative-positive sandwich to be quite helpful in speaking to a person that does not want to take in the information as first communicated. 2 positives (helping the person become receptive to what you want to say)the negative (the part they do not wish to talk about) followed by a postive.

Example: Admiration for his strength and fortitude, grateful to have him as a role model for yourself and your siblings, ........ wishing the two of you could meet 1/2 way in order to share in this new experience together, maybe even laugh along the way (include your direct request for your hearing aids to assist you to continue on with your life as you have known it and become an educated working adult) ......... a reminder to the person of a time when they heroic, silly, protective of you &/or the family. Including the positive in the conversation does help the communications to a certain extent as tiring as it is for us. They are left with a good feeling about the conversation instead of closing down on the subject.
I hope this helps and does not "sound" off the wall. Stubborn is stubborn and so very annoying. I can relate to what you are feeling and wish it were another way but as we want them to respect our point of view somewhere in there we have to respect theirs.
Good luck el...888 !!

(I dont know if I have posted the response in the correct format and how it will come out once I hit send. It is a response to the orignal post)

 

[BecLak]

Wirelessly posted

Her father comes from a particular country in which disabilities are considered a mark of shame in many regions.

Which is a real shame. The fact that he deliberately broke the hearing aids is rather alarming though.

my dad considers is like a personal insult that i dont have normal hearing anymore. He's ashamed of me for my hearing loss and the fact i need hearing aids.

When i get new hearing aids on friday, he's getting nowhere near them!!

That is what I sensed in regards to your father. You had mentioned medical school. My guess is: Your father's expectation is for you to become a doctor? Although nothing condones his behaviour towards you, perhaps he views your hearing loss as crushing his dreams of you becoming a doctor. If there was someway of getting him to see that there are many successful Deaf doctors out there,there may be hope of resolving the issues he is having and will in turn help you too? See the thread "Deaf Professionals".

 

[drphil]

el...888 matter resolved yet- hopefully to your satisfaction?

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07

 

[drphil]

el...888 Hopefully your situation has been resolved to your satisfaction.

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07