My GF still hangs out with her ex

And the husband shouldn't be the one to say back off? If he doesn't care enough about his wife's feelings, then there's already problems in the marriage.

If Ember and her ex are more than just friends she should back off. And if her ex tells her to cool it and she doesn't, then she is a problem.
 
I will ask not to be compared to a situation that is not mine. I don't call him baby nor does he call me any pet names. We are not and have not been intimate since the last time we were in a relationship which was over 10 years ago. It's not like that at all between us we are friends why that us so hard to understand I don't know. Not friends with benefits not well we cuddle now and then no none of that we are FRIENDS. We had been friends outside of a relationship for years before they even met. Does she not like it yes am I causing them enough distress that thy are headed for divorce NO! I could careless if the kids came it's not like we do things that the whole damn family couldn't do, she just doesn't want him around me period for an unjustified reason, we have never given her any reason to think otherwise. So dont compare me to a situation that is not my own. If I did still have those type of feelings for him I am woman enough to say so but I don't at all and havent for years it wasn't a bad break up it wad mutual and healthy. Far be it from me why it is that we ate suppose to hate each other and never speak when we had a true friendship we weren't just fuck buddies. But if you want to label me a home wrecker because it makes you feel better so be it. I know what is true and so does he and whether she will ever admit to it or not she knows nothing is going on thy have been together long enough now that if she really felt there was something then she would have left. Oh and by no means do I feel our friendship comes before his marriage never said I did nor has she ever threatened to leave him because of me, she just catches an attitude with him every now and then about it and he tells her he is going out with me, he tells her he is my friend and she has to accept that I don't force my presence in his life and I would be happily be her friend too if she were open to it. So once again do not compare me to your own lives.
 
LoveBlue said:
And the husband shouldn't be the one to say back off? If he doesn't care enough about his wife's feelings, then there's already problems in the marriage.

If Ember and her ex are more than just friends she should back off. And if her ex tells her to cool it and she doesn't, then she is a problem.
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Men are morons when it comes to that. They're not confrontational compared to women.
 
lanapoo said:
Men are morons when it comes to that. They're not confrontational compared to women.
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Well, there are 3 people involved and therefore there are 3 points of view. The husband is as much "in this" as the wife and ex, therefore he should be fully involved in solving the "problem".

BTW, I have never been the ex, nor the jealous wife, so I have not been in this type of situation. I'm looking at it from the "outside". Perhaps the couple needs marriage counseling where an objective observer can analyze the situation and make recommendations.

I think we should get back to the OP and, if anyone wants to continue with Embers situtation, start a new thread.
 
LoveBlue said:
And the husband shouldn't be the one to say back off? If he doesn't care enough about his wife's feelings, then there's already problems in the marriage.

If Ember and her ex are more than just friends she should back off. And if her ex tells her to cool it and she doesn't, then she is a problem.
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IF there are problems in the marriage, then Ember is the contributing factor....The ex is a married man with 2 children...and the wife is more than likely trying to save her marriage. Ember needs to back off, and let the married couple work their problems out, especially with having 2 children to think about.

Ur right about the husband, tho'. He needs to be the one to say "back off", my marriage is in jeopardy and we need to work on it.....But, perhaps his ego has gotten in the way, maybe thinking..."I'll have my cake and eat it too."!

Then again, it's possible he doesn't want to hurt Ember's feelings...but his wife's feelings come first, along with his children, and he should be spending his spare time with them and helping take care of his family.

Someone is going to be very hurt in this situation, and I believe the wife and the children are already being "cheated"....it could esculate to the point where violence comes in.
 
rockin'robin said:
IF there are problems in the marriage, then Ember is the contributing factor....The ex is a married man with 2 children...and the wife is more than likely trying to save her marriage. Ember needs to back off, and let the married couple work their problems out, especially with having 2 children to think about.

Ur right about the husband, tho'. He needs to be the one to say "back off", my marriage is in jeopardy and we need to work on it.....But, perhaps his ego has gotten in the way, maybe thinking..."I'll have my cake and eat it too."!

Then again, it's possible he doesn't want to hurt Ember's feelings...but his wife's feelings come first, along with his children, and he should be spending his spare time with them and helping take care of his family.

Someone is going to be very hurt in this situation, and I believe the wife and the children are already being "cheated"....it could esculate to the point where violence comes in.
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I was going to say something similar. But yeah... :gpost::gpost:

Men enjoy the attention he receives from women so he doesn't realize that it's really hurting his marriage hence the reason I said they're morons. So I suggest to just back off in general.
 
LoveBlue said:
I disagree. The wife has a problem, but it's not Ember. It could be self-confidence, jealousy of anyone/anything, etc, that takes her husband's attention away from her, "control freak", etc.

I don't believe 3rd parties can break up a marriage that is strong. If a marriage breaks up because of "someone else", the marriage already had problems.
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Thank you loveblue I agree
 
Just out of curiosity, Ember, how often do you and your friend hang out?
 
a married person hangs out with ex alone too often is weird.
a married couples hang out with ex and others as group too often is not weird.

that's all I can say.
 
Oh my God y'all just took this from A to Z with no middle. No he is not afraid to hurt my feelings it's one of the reasons why we are friends he is brutally honest with me and no I dont give him special attention. And HELL NO no one is contemplating violence or that upset when I call she doesnt curse me out or hang up she gives him the phone and the conversations we have had about it were civil not Jerry Springer drama but y'all have taken it there. I'm done talking about this and explaining it I have no need o defend myself and this just went from an experience share to a damn made up lifetime movie with elements I never said were apart of it WOW
 
so? I hang with my ex. We have no romantic interesting each other
 
Going to ask this again: How often do you hang out with your friend, Ember?
 
Because talking to someone everyday is an open admission of guilt. I talk on here every single day maybe your SO should be weary of me, oh and I talk to my girlfriends everyday the ones who are married maybe their husbands should be worried that we are going to fall in love with each other. Smh
 
ember said:
Because talking to someone everyday is an open admission of guilt. I talk on here every single day maybe your SO should be weary of me, oh and I talk to my girlfriends everyday the ones who are married maybe their husbands should be worried that we are going to fall in love with each other. Smh
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It's not that.

You are taking his time away from his own family. She feels cheated that he probably confides in you more than he does her. It's kind of emotionally cheating. Try putting yourself in her shoes. How would you feel if your husband talked to his ex everyday? That he hangs out with her and not with you or your children?
 
ember said:
Because talking to someone everyday is an open admission of guilt. I talk on here every single day maybe your SO should be weary of me, oh and I talk to my girlfriends everyday the ones who are married maybe their husbands should be worried that we are going to fall in love with each other. Smh
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No, I'm just saying that I can see why the wife would have a problem with that.
 
no one needs to tell others if they are wrong if they still to talk to other ex's. It's none of my business. One of those days, one of them will lead to the consequences and no one is happy or not.

Life is so short.
 
WOW! Every day, Ember???...do you call your other friends "every day"? If my friends called me "every day"...it would become aggravating!....

and BTW, one of my ex's is married now, and we were together 5 years....if I called him "every day", then it's a sure FACT that I want him back!..But I don't do that...and I don't call him at all....if I see him with his wife somewhere, I do wave or say "Hello" and make small talk.

I do believe you know where this is going, whether you won't admit it or not. And if I were the wife, and my husband would not put a "STOP" to those daily phone calls....then I would do it in person.
 
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