Mother seeks girl's hysterectomy

[GarnetTigerMom]

Do you realize Katie is a girl who'se mental development is less than of two years old?


Fuzzy

I can't blame or judge's kate mom for wanting to do what best for her child. I am sure she have her reasons. My aunt have a mental disable daughter now she is 34 years old. She had her tube tied. So she wouldn't get pregnant because she care for a baby if she get pregnant. She don't understand what a baby is or understand how to raise one. She is in a speical group home to help her learn how to buy clothes, cook, use money and how to live in apartment. She smart in her own way but she not equip to handle a baby. I can understand her view.

 

[Reba]

...Open your mind and use sense common!!!

All of that is great for many but NOT ALL people with CP, especially those who have additional handicaps such as sever mental retardation.

I know college students with CP, and I have a friend with CP, who live full productive lives. I also know a woman with CP and other physical and mental handicaps that have left her with the mental capacity of a toddler at best. She gets extremely good professional and family care. But she will never be able to live on her own or raise a family. Each person and each situation is unique.

 

[Reba]

...I understand but you're not doing that either....

I said that I neither support nor condemn the mother's decision. Which perspective did I leave out?

I'm not trying to criticizm the mother nor am I trying to judge her, all I'm saying here is, has she seek the proper treatment and therapy for her daughter?...

We don't know. We don't have that information.

 

[Audiofuzzy]

I'm not trying to criticizm the mother nor am I trying to judge her, all I'm saying here is, has she seek the proper treatment and therapy for her daughter...

And what, according to you, is proper treatment and therapy for Katie?

Fuzzy

 

[Opal]

I believe, since Katie mental development is of 18 month girl, it's the right decision.

I second that.

I have seen many disabled people become parents... Example, they have no both arms or no legs, also blind as well... I remember the video at thread somewhere last year that a mother with no both arms but use her feet to take care of her baby. She can cook... The people can't walk but still have children. I read the magazine that wheelchair parents have 2 children. I saw in real life that a dwarf couple have child together. So? It shows that they positive their disabitity... It's really sad that some people are ignorant and don't know that the people CAN positive their disabiltiy.

That's big different because their brain is fine, they can continue to have kids and know how to bring up their babies themselves - no problem

 

[Cheri]

Do you realize Katie is a girl who'se mental development is less than of two years old?


Fuzzy

I've read the article, and I do know how to read, I'm not as dumb as you think I am.

I am aware of her learning disabilities and mental development, that's not the point here It's about accepting the fact --this is who she is, and there is help out there that is available for her, where is it? instead of just leave her to be.

I'm a strong believer for second chance every human being has a second chance, and I believe she has a second chance to successful if she gets the proper help she needs in order to have a best possible quality of life.

Giving this girl a hysterectomy is like taking a-part of her life away.

 

[Cheri]

Legally, a parent or guardian can and must make medical and health care decisions for incompetent people and minor children; it happens all the time. It doesn't mean they are less human; it just means they are less able to make their own informed decisions.

medical decisions for Kate to have a hysterectomy? It is not a emergency situation that she needs to have it, unless she has cancer of the uterus or ovaries.

 

[deafdyke]

Cheri, LEARNING DISABILTY?!?!? Oh god.......Katies DOES NOT have a LD! She is PROFOUNDLY MR. Have you ever met someone with profound MR? Yeah she's not in a persistant vegegtative state, the way some kids with profound MR are. However, her needs are intense. Many kids with profound MR live in nursing homes as a matter of fact.
God, its hard enough for mild and moderate MR kids to deal with having a period.
Yes, there's a possibilty that Katie is actually more high functioning then it appears. But the thing is, most profound MR kids, are essentially BABIES. There is a HUGE difference between mild MR and profound MR, and you don't seem to be understanding that difference!

 

[Cheri]

Cheri, LEARNING DISABILTY?!?!? Oh god.......Katies DOES NOT have a LD! She is PROFOUNDLY MR. Have you ever met someone with profound MR?!

What's up with the caps?? Can you debates in civil manners or what?

Yes, I've met people who are mental retard, and I don't like to say that word because I find it insulting, so I prefer to say another word term instead of saying MR. The disorders like Kate has to have special medical care, that I'm aware of but, there's therapies out there, like I said for the fourth time. It seems that's been ignored.

 

[Angel]

Treatment

Federal legislation entitles mentally retarded children to free testing and appropriate, individualized education and skills training within the school system from ages 3-21. For children under the age of three, many states have established early intervention programs that assess, recommend, and begin treatment programs. Many day schools are available to help train retarded children in basic skills such as bathing and feeding themselves. Extracurricular activities and social programs are also important in helping retarded children and adolescents gain self-esteem.

Training in independent living and job skills is often begun in early adulthood. The level of training depends on the degree of retardation. Mildly retarded individuals can often acquire the skills needed to live independently and hold an outside job. Moderate to profoundly retarded individuals usually require supervised community living.


Family therapy can help relatives of the mentally retarded develop coping skills. It can also help parents deal with feelings of guilt or anger. A supportive, warm home environment is essential to help the mentally retarded reach their full potential.

Mental retardation


Profound Mental Retardation

-IQ scores of less than 20
-Includes about 1 percent to 2 percent of the mentally retarded population
-Individuals at this level can often develop basic communication and self-care skills. They often have other mental disorders.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

did you read what Deafdyke and Reba wrote:



REBA:



Fuzzy

For your information, I do not ignore their posts that's because I see different POV as them.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

And you think her mother what - realized overnight that she has a disabled child?
You think having Katie 24/7 for 15 years means nothing to her?


Fuzzy

It's best solution is give the child up for an adoption, send the child to Nursing home or keep the child and accept what she/he is instead of remove part of their organs that's because of less stress... It's no excuse...

If the parents decided to keep the child then do something to help her... I awared the problem is the some parents have lack of their exposure, education and awareness how to develop their children in positive way. My parents are one of them.

 

[Audiofuzzy]

I can't blame or judge's kate mom for wanting to do what best for her child. I am sure she have her reasons. My aunt have a mental disable daughter now she is 34 years old. She had her tube tied. So she wouldn't get pregnant because she care for a baby if she get pregnant. She don't understand what a baby is or understand how to raise one. She is in a speical group home to help her learn how to buy clothes, cook, use money and how to live in apartment. She smart in her own way but she not equip to handle a baby. I can understand her view.

So, you probably have at least an inkling what's like to take care of severly disabled child, I guess. Now, try to think of having a daughter with mentality of less than two years old child who is getting bleeding and possibly cramps and all every month for X number of years. how do you explain periods and the rest to a such severly mentally restricted person? does she even needs it - the stress, the pain, the indignity of it all? considering she will never be able to enjoy any children of her own.


Fuzzy

 

[Audiofuzzy]

It's best solution is give the child up for an adoption, send the child to Nursing home or keep the child and accept what she/he is instead of remove part of their organs that's because of less stress... It's no excuse...
QUOTE]

I am speechless.

Fuzzy

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I don't know what that mother did, so I certainly can't judge how she cared for her daughter. I'm not approving or disapproving her decisions. I don't have all the facts (none of us does), and I haven't experienced her life.

Yes I agree on this. Nobody here judge that mother's decision because nobody knows what and how she did to her daughter but our feeling and disagree and positive our posts.

What about them? How does that change this mother's situation?

Even in the examples you cite, did they do that from birth until death for 30, 40, 50 years, every day? The Reeves had excellent health insurance and wealth to afford good medical help, therapy, and home care. A mom whose child is born with severe handicaps can't insure someone with a pre-existing condition. She probably doesn't have the same resources as the Reeves.

Adults taking care of elderly parents are taking care of people who are at the end of their lives. It's not easy, of course not. It's physically, emotionally, and financially draining. However, that's not the same situation as taking care of a severely handicapped person from birth until death, which might be more than 60 years later. Can a 90-year-old lady still pick up and move her 60-year-old daughter?

All I ask is that we look at it from more than one perspective.

Subject about Reeves accord your post... Do you mean that poor and rich people are being treat by healthcare insurance different in America, that's because of difference insurance tarrif/expense?

We have healthcare insurance who are being treat equal, no matter what. If rich want something extra like one room for his/her own... want only professor do for them then insure private insurance.

And about take care of elders or severe disabled adult children - we have Nursing care insurance. It's obligate to remove nursing care insurance from my monthly wage slip. It's up to the people's decision either they are strong enough to take care of their elder parents or disabled adult children. They need to check with doctor for an approval that they are unable to take care of them then decide to send them to Nursing home. Depend on difference prices of Nursing home... we have to pay less % or not to add our Nursing care home.

I've know families in all of those kinds of situations, and the decisions that they make are not easy. It's even worse when their families and friends judge and criticize them after.

Yes I has to agree with you on this but I see no excuse to remove part of human body because of less stress...

I would respect the people's decision for put their elders/severe disabled adult to Nursing home or give severe disabled baby up for an adoption when they feel being burden to take care of severe disabled child but remove part of human's body?

 

[Liebling:-)))]

That's right.

It was very hard for you and your family to take care of your aunt for four years, and I respect that. But that's not the same as taking care of a severely handicapped person from the day he/she is born until he/she dies 40, or 50, or 60+ years later. You know how hard it was for your family for four years. Can you imagine how hard it must be to do that every day for 60 years?

Yes I can image it like what I said there're no comparison between severe metal handciapped and elders.. That's why I respect people's decision for give their severe disabled baby up for an adoption or send them to Nursing home... I has no respect when the parents decide to remove part of severe disabled child's body because of less stress. It's no excuse for that. If she feel burden then send her to Nursing home then she can visit her there frequently as she can or check with Expert how to care of Katie and her hormones if she decided to take care of her at home herself... Remove part of human's organ to save her stress is not an excuse.

Yes, my friends had to do that also. Now, their daughter prefers living at the center because she prefers the routine there. She only wants short visits with her family because it disrupts her routine.

Yes, it's understandable... I have no problem with their decision as long as they did not let doctor to remove elder's or severe disabled child's part of body to save their stress.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I'm not applauding the mom; I'm not judging her either. I don't know the full story.

Yes, that's right but.... Why do she allow the medias to annonnce about her decision for her daughter to the public for? It look like that she want our attention or what?

If my child suffer severe illness and need expensive operation where Healthcare can't pay then I would scream to the public for donation to save my child's life but Katie? I feel bad for Katie because she don't know that her mother "sell" her and her privately to the public...

Legally, a parent or guardian can and must make medical and health care decisions for incompetent people and minor children; it happens all the time. It doesn't mean they are less human; it just means they are less able to make their own informed decisions.

Would you do like that to save your stress?

We don't. We don't know the whole story, one way or the other.

Yes, that's right but why she open about her daughter Katie to the public for?

She think she is first mother in the world who have CP child or what?

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Do you realize Katie is a girl who'se mental development is less than of two years old?


Fuzzy

Yes, but the problem is the some parents have lack of their exposure, education and awareness how to develop their children in positive way.

Look at an example of Nazi time - they think deaf are mental... also Cyprus and some countries as well...

The parents CAN develop their disabled children into normal children due their hard work.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

And what, according to you, is proper treatment and therapy for Katie?

Fuzzy

Go and search.... like what we did with our positive search... Don't you read few positive links, we provided in our previous posts here?

 

[Liebling:-)))]

That's big different because their brain is fine, they can continue to have kids and know how to bring up their babies themselves - no problem

No, it make no difference either they have brain or not...

Again, the problem is the some parents have lack of their exposure, education and awareness how to develop their children in positive way. (see positive links)... It does the same thing with deaf children as well in several countries (example Cyprus, I met deaf old man who can't speak) including Nazi time... they think Deaf is mental or whatever...