Mother seeks girl's hysterectomy

[Liebling:-)))]

Tousi, Angel & Cheri, you know that Fuzzy have the problem to understand our posts. It's her problem, not ours.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Oh, so it's OK to dump Kate and her hypothetical children on her relatives just because they are relatives? what if they do not wish to be handed over such a burden?

Fuzzy

*sigh* I quoted your post and ignored part of your post is "Katie's children" because it make no sense... I am not interesting to answer your hypothetical post over Katie's future children.

Anyway, my answer to your previous question is remain, period.

 

[deafdyke]

One more point. Children with multiple physical and mental handicaps grow into big adults with those same or worse problems. Maybe mom can take care of cute little 40-lb daughter for several years at home. But what about taking care of a 40-year-old daughter who can't do for herself, 24/7/365? What about elderly mom who can't lift 120-lb., 5'-8" daughter?

Which is why I support the option of pediatric nursing homes. I wish so badly that the stigma of pediatric nursing homes/ special schools wasn't even there.
I don't think ALL kids should be shipped off to a nursing home or a special school.....but it does help those in very tough situtions.
Everyone else. We are NOT talking about someone with relatively mild CP. We're talking about someone with VERY PROFOUND CP.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Ahh let say it a person was or suppose she was mentally retarded or austism. I have seem some parents have their daughters fix so they couldn't have children. Beacuse how can they care for baby if she was raped or worst? So it a risk for them. Can they handle it? maybe few and some can't. I saw a show on birthing show about a woman who was in a wheel chair from the neck down she can't use her body and she also have cerebral palsy as well. She is married to her husband and they decied to have a baby. But the husband is the one taking care of her needs and her health. So when I saw her on the show birthing show,, she pregnant and had to go through C-section cuz of her health. I don't know how she could have handle that. Because It must be hard on the husband taking care of them both and then she tells the show she which she could do all that instead of her husband but she can't. I am sure it was hard on her for not being able to do do those things for her baby that a normal mother would do. Some say it was cruel,, other says it was brave of her. So I can't judge her but it sadded me to see that situation.

I have seen many disabled people become parents... Example, they have no both arms or no legs, also blind as well... I remember the video at thread somewhere last year that a mother with no both arms but use her feet to take care of her baby. She can cook... The people can't walk but still have children. I read the magazine that wheelchair parents have 2 children. I saw in real life that a dwarf couple have child together. So? It shows that they positive their disabitity... It's really sad that some people are ignorant and don't know that the people CAN positive their disabiltiy.

The couple, we know well whom they went same school as my hubby. They were steady since they are at school time until they are married and have 3 wonderful adult children. His wife have a little CP and have poor health situation. Her husband do everything to support her... His wife is housewife and take care of 3 children quite good... Of course they notice something different about their mother... They love her more for that... Now her daughter is student in London, other son is student in Berlin and youngest one is still at their house.

A old man, (Resturant owner's uncle) we met in Cyprus at long time ago. He is deaf but can't speak. At Cyprus law, deaf people are not allow to marry and have children... they must have someone to be their guardian. The resturant owner is when he saw us and walked to us and questioned us about our deafness etc... and told us about his deaf Uncle. He and his family are his Uncle's guardian because his parents are dead. We were speechless and told him that we can drive, have own house, travel alot, etc.... He told us that there're only one school for the deaf in Cyprus which is long way... His parents cannot afford to send him to deaf school that's why they kept him... no school.. On next day he brought his Uncle to meet us... It's very sad... It's hard to communicate with him due his poor social skill. We visited to see him time to time for 3 weeks before we went back to Germany. It cheers him... I positive Resturant owner about deaf school in any Europe countries and said that I have see many Greek around in England - no wonder why their parents decided to leave their country for go to England after discover their child is deaf. It does the same thing with CP and other disabled people as well.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Cerebral palsy lifespan

Cerebral palsy is not a killer disease or condition. The person affected with cerebral palsy can lead a productive long life. There are many people with cerebral palsy who have become parents, completer their university education successfully and have led happy social life. Some of the people have even become successful pianists and brain sugeons. There are ways and means of leading a happy life with cerebral palsy let us discuss about it here.


Disability and handicap

The person with cerebral palsy need to cope up with the handicaps and disability as his disease condition cannot be cured. Disability is nothing but loss of physical function. Difficulty in controlling the speech, difficulty in controlling the hand leg etc can be considered as disability. These disabilities are certainly your disadvantage. The degree of disadvantage is handicap.

Try to not to make your disability in to handicap.For example if the person with cerebral palsy wants to enter the building, new cannot do so as he could not climb the steps. But if the building is provided with wheelchair access, then his disability does not become a handicap here.

Attitude

You need to have good self esteem to cope up with the negative attitudes of the other people. Some people may pat on your head and go while you are sitting in a wheel chair. Try to ignore such people. If you are parent never protect your child with cerebral palsy too much or make him too dependant on you. Expose them to the real world. Let the child to understand the realities of the life.

Access

You being a person with disability you cannot lead an independent life. Hence you need friendship and help on continuous basis. Get admitted to the school to develop friendship. Try joining the social activity to increase the opportunity of getting friendships.

Maintaining your physical health

Nutritious food and regular exercise is a must not only for healthy people but also for people with disability. Regular exercise will help you to move the parts better. Regular exercise will increase the flexibility and range of motion.

Excercise also strengthens the cardiovascular system which very vital for you. You need to follow low fat, high fiber diet. This will help you to avoid problems like constipation. This diet will help

Cerebral palsy and aging

So far more research was done on child with cerebral palsy. There is hardly anything as far as aging effect of cerebral palsy is concerned. Though the people with cerebral palsy considered being having normal life span, the symptoms get worse as the age advances.

Loss of strength, fatigue, and plasticity may increase and the mobility may decrease. This may put additional stress on the person with cerebral palsy as the age advances. As you notice the worsening of the symptom, you need to consult the doctor in order to reduce the symptoms.

Maintaining the mental health

Try to involve yourself in meaningful activities, try to have active life style. There is no point in thinking about the disability. Try to have as many friends as possible. Keep and maintain positive attitude.


By just following the suggestions mentioned above the person with cerebral palsy can enhance his life span.


Cerebral palsy lifespan



Open your mind and use sense common!!!

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Are you familiar with oxygen deprivation for 5 minutes, let alone for 38?

38 minutes? It's too long... The baby would of die if they suffer lack of oxygen for a long 38 minutes...

It's easy to say if you are only a bystander, try to imagine that Kate is your child..

Fuzzy

If I have a disabled child then I would search deep and want to know more how to help my child.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Wow, I'm just speechless...That's another reason why Cheri and I were so against the idea of her husband removing the feeding tube from Terri...and if she had a living will, then that would be a entire different story...but she didn't , it was his word against hers....

Yes I know what you mean.

It's very hard to accept the both side between Michael and Terri's parents because there're one word to against each other... very hard... that's why the government from many countries including Germany in the world fix living will as new law after happenend with Terri's case. We thank Terri for wake us up but...

I realized that there're cons/pros over living will... The doctors don't like the idea of living will... why? Because they can't do anything against their patient's wish when they know it's good chance to save their life. They demand for living will straight way after got a "bad" news from doctors telling them that they have 50% to remain alive... Some patients decide quickly for not want doctors to save their life but let them die or whatever... Oh Well...

 

[Liebling:-)))]

This whole idea of enforced sterilization looks like a slippery slope here because of the ethics. It has nothing to do with a person's mental development for me.. I'm not just the type to take a cold, clinical approach when it comes to people (probably known for having my walls up, though!).

If I was Katie's mother, I would look for resources - like maybe a counselor or an expert who know how to handle the traumas of becoming an adult, and to teach Katie in ways her mother couldn't conceive of. There are bound to be peeps who have been there before, and could give Katie's mother some relief in taking care of Katie.

Yes I would do the same.

 

[Audiofuzzy]

*sigh* I quoted your post and ignored part of your post is "Katie's children" because it make no sense... I am not interesting to answer your hypothetical post over Katie's future children.

Anyway, my answer to your previous question is remain, period.

did you read what Deafdyke and Reba wrote:

DEAFDYKE:

EVERYONE........this girl has PROFOUND MR.
Quote:
She has the mental capacity of an 18-month- old and understands little of what is said to her.
PROFOUND MR. She's essentially a BABY!

is that MR folks are at HUGE risk for being sexually abused.
sterilzed or her being sexually abused in a home?

REBA:

One more point. Children with multiple physical and mental handicaps grow into big adults with those same or worse problems. Maybe mom can take care of cute little 40-lb daughter for several years at home. But what about taking care of a 40-year-old daughter who can't do for herself, 24/7/365? What about elderly mom who can't lift 120-lb., 5'-8" daughter?

Who has walked a mile in her shoes?

Fuzzy

 

[Audiofuzzy]

Well, it obviously to me that you would dump your CP child, if it were in your shoes ? I don't think you would want to care of your CP child in your hands, if you give birth a CP child. You would probably want to remove your CP child's womb so you don't have to worry about takin' responsibility of her welfare. I wouldn't be surprised if you were just like CP girl's mother in the article.

What is this bull?
I asked you politely a question - should the relatives be burdened with other pple choices? should you be responsible for, say, what your distant cousin did?

Looks like once again I will have no answer, only a stream of offensive accusations directed at me. as usual.


Fuzzy

 

[Audiofuzzy]

38 minutes? It's too long... The baby would of die if they suffer lack of oxygen for a long 38 minutes...

(fuzzy) Correction - Katie was starved not deprived of oxygen for 38 minutes, sorry.



If I have a disabled child then I would search deep and want to know more how to help my child.

And you think her mother what - realized overnight that she has a disabled child?
You think having Katie 24/7 for 15 years means nothing to her?


Fuzzy

 

[Cheri]

And you think her mother what - realized overnight that she has a disabled child?

The moment when a baby is born in the world disable or not, this is what you get, even if you didn't asked for it.

There's a lesson for every parents in the world, when a baby is born, they have two choices to provide all the child's needs, or give your child up for adoption.

This doesn't mean to remove any part of the child's organs, eye sights, hearing, or fixed a child. Parents need to figured out what the child's priorities are and stick with them.

I was blown away at the fact that a lot of disabilities people out in the world leads successful lives, with all the help they had in therapies and people that cares especially their family. All that had to do with taking the time and effort to understand their child needs. Disability is a natural part of the human condition, You should know that, everyone knows that.

just my two cents.

 

[Angel]

And who walked a miles in her daughter's shoes? hmm anyone?...

 

[Reba]

Reba, are you saying that this is all the mother did was pamper her daughter all those years without any proper treatment or therapy?...

I don't know what that mother did, so I certainly can't judge how she cared for her daughter. I'm not approving or disapproving her decisions. I don't have all the facts (none of us does), and I haven't experienced her life.

What about parents who takes care of their mother/father or their grandparents at home who is unable to take care of themselves?...I remember my grandmother took care of her mother who was ill for a long time, she had to carry her to the bathroom, bath her, feed her, dress her, and doing many other things too..and what about children or adult like Christopher Reeve, who is paralyzed ?...

What about them? How does that change this mother's situation?

Even in the examples you cite, did they do that from birth until death for 30, 40, 50 years, every day? The Reeves had excellent health insurance and wealth to afford good medical help, therapy, and home care. A mom whose child is born with severe handicaps can't insure someone with a pre-existing condition. She probably doesn't have the same resources as the Reeves.

Adults taking care of elderly parents are taking care of people who are at the end of their lives. It's not easy, of course not. It's physically, emotionally, and financially draining. However, that's not the same situation as taking care of a severely handicapped person from birth until death, which might be more than 60 years later. Can a 90-year-old lady still pick up and move her 60-year-old daughter?

All I ask is that we look at it from more than one perspective.

I've know families in all of those kinds of situations, and the decisions that they make are not easy. It's even worse when their families and friends judge and criticize them after.

 

[Reba]

I know what it alike because we took care of my hubby´s 90 years old Aunt for 4 years. It´s work hard to neglect our time on our family life... We decided to put her to Nursing home after stair accdient and rushed to hospitail... One day after that she died. I would say that there´re no comparison between severe metal handciapped and elders.

That's right.

It was very hard for you and your family to take care of your aunt for four years, and I respect that. But that's not the same as taking care of a severely handicapped person from the day he/she is born until he/she dies 40, or 50, or 60+ years later. You know how hard it was for your family for four years. Can you imagine how hard it must be to do that every day for 60 years?

... I respect my friend´s decision for put her teenage daughter to Nursing home that she is able to visit to see her every weekends and have her home for holidays.

Yes, my friends had to do that also. Now, their daughter prefers living at the center because she prefers the routine there. She only wants short visits with her family because it disrupts her routine.

 

[GarnetTigerMom]

Well Fuzzy, Terri was not a disable person. As I remember Terri was pretty woman and she took so many diet pills to say perfercty fit. But it end up damaging her health and then end up in coma and become a vegetable state. But if Terri had a will to die then it would be her wish to die and not live like a vegetable state. Let say if a family member was brain dead, and the machine helping that person breathing. If I were in that person shoe I would not want to be a veggie state. I would not want to be kept on machine. That no way to live.

 

[Reba]

And who has walked a mile in the daughter's shoes? It easy for people to say well I applause the mother for doing what she thinks is best, every parents thinks they do what they think is best, but it's not always true, None of us is going to make the right decision every time.

I'm not applauding the mom; I'm not judging her either. I don't know the full story.

Let's not forget she's a human being, she is just different from you and I, but it still does not give anyone a right to make decision to give her a hysterectomy, it's her body. How can one decide for her when nothing is written in stone.

Legally, a parent or guardian can and must make medical and health care decisions for incompetent people and minor children; it happens all the time. It doesn't mean they are less human; it just means they are less able to make their own informed decisions.

How do we know this is the best interest for her daughter, and not for her mother's own ease?

We don't. We don't know the whole story, one way or the other.

 

[Angel]

Even in the examples you cite, did they do that from birth until death

Yes, there are some children out there who are born in a wheelchair because they couldn't move on their own legs...

All I ask is that we look at it from more than one perspective.

I understand but you're not doing that either....

I've know families in all of those kinds of situations, and the decisions that they make are not easy. It's even worse when their families and friends judge and criticize them after.

I'm not trying to criticizm the mother nor am I trying to judge her, all I'm saying here is, has she seek the proper treatment and therapy for her daughter?...

If yes, then I will respect her decision....

 

[Audiofuzzy]

Well Fuzzy, Terri was not a disable person. As I remember Terri was pretty woman and she took so many diet pills to say perfercty fit. But it end up damaging her health and then end up in coma and become a vegetable state. But if Terri had a will to die then it would be her wish to die and not live like a vegetable state. Let say if a family member was brain dead, and the machine helping that person breathing. If I were in that person shoe I would not want to be a veggie state. I would not want to be kept on machine. That no way to live.

Well that's interesting to know, but I am not talking about Terri I am talking about Katie and her mom's wish to have Katie undergo hysterectomy.
I believe, since Katie mental development is of 18 month girl, it's the right decision.

Fuzzy

 

[Audiofuzzy]

The moment when a baby is born in the world disable or not, this is what you get, even if you didn't asked for it.

There's a lesson for every parents in the world, when a baby is born, they have two choices to provide all the child's needs, or give your child up for adoption.

This doesn't mean to remove any part of the child's organs, eye sights, hearing, or fixed a child. Parents need to figured out what the child's priorities are and stick with them.

I was blown away at the fact that a lot of disabilities people out in the world leads successful lives, with all the help they had in therapies and people that cares especially their family. All that had to do with taking the time and effort to understand their child needs. Disability is a natural part of the human condition, You should know that, everyone knows that.

just my two cents.

Do you realize Katie is a girl who'se mental development is less than of two years old?


Fuzzy