mmmmhhh sex phone bill...

[Liebling:-)))]

Chris and I discussed this and we agreed that Kev's mother has to pay for the bill herself. Kev's mother has no right to tell Liebling how to discipline Alan by how to punish him the same way Kev is because Liebling & her husband are the parents of Alan, not Kev's mother.

We both also agreed that if we have children & they grow up, they go to their friends' place. We will make sure the friends' parents are home and supervise our kids and their kids to make sure everything is ok. The same thing as us when our children and their friends come over.

For example, if our child brings a friend over and his friend's parents know their child is here. We have to make sure they are safe and we watch them like our child. If they play in the basement, we are upstairs. It is best that one of us is downstairs to keep an eye on them in case they wrestle or play rough. What if they knock over a lamp and break something? Who is responsible to pay for that if we don't watch them? Of course, we have to pay for broken things because we didn't watch our children and their friends! We can't phone our children's friends and be cross with parents & demand they pay half for new lamp and tell them how to discipline their children. That's outrageous because it's our fault as we didn't watch the kids, it's called poor parental supervision!!

Some children need to be taught to say "No" to temptation and learn how to appreciate rules and learn how to respect parents and older people.

We think Liebling should hold firm to her ground and not pay at all because she didn't do anything wrong. What is really outrageous about Kev's mother is that she is overstepping her personal boundaries with Liebling by telling Liebling how to "discipline" her own son. To be honest with you, if someone ever told me how to do that with my child, I'd tell that person off because that's offensive to any parent.

you said it very well...

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Yep it is the law, the law says we the parents are responsible for any actions our children did, Just the same with schools, If you child skip school the parent would be responsible. Law in Ohio saying that if a child did not show up for school for more than days, I as a mother will be arrested and go to jail. Even if it's not my fault that my child skip school and went some where else. It's still my responsibility.

Yes it´s same with German law. The parent take their responsible on their children until the children are 18 years old.

Liebling does not require to pay half of the bill if it did not happen in her own home, But if she wants to it's up to her. If friendship gotta be the issue then I guess Kevin's parents are not showing their responsible in their action as neglecting the children. That's teaching their children the wrong way. Sorry. It's easy for parent to finger pointing children but you have to remember it's our duty to raise our children the right way, and if anything happens like accidents our children done, We have to take full responsible as a parent. It's a tough job for parents but, we brought children in the world, we need to act like responsible parents and do the right thing. I think Liebling feels that she is not responsible because, it did not happen in her own home and she was not there in another person's home when it happened.

That´s exactly what I thought so. That´s why we stay firm and wont accept our responsible for that.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I guess from what I was reading her phone incident over again and trying to figure out.... I know my aunt said what the law said... If Liebling or Alan wanted to get over with it, and pay 1/2 to Kevin and his mother, and problem will be solved and get over with it and warn the boys NOT to do it again.

I would not do that because I know I havent done any wrong.

If Alan want to save his friendship, Alan (with help from parents) should pay half and get over with it. Or Kevin and his mother would do something bad to Alan or Liebling.

I would not do children´s favor because I know I doing thing right. We will know that Ken´s parents are not our true friend if they do something bad to us. I already taught Alan to not get anyone to bully Ken.

Kev's mother would have to force Kev to break up the friendship. How does Alan feel that?

I would blame Ken´s parent if they tried to do something to hurt Alan´s and Ken´s friendship. It´s very wrong of Ken´s mother do that... She is an adult and must have known herself that she should not do something on Ken to against us.

If not agree, there is no supervisors in there, I don't know, since for that age, they likes to take the phone and hide in the closet, or in the basement or under the bed, they can be sneaky behind their supervisor like Doofmama said... It mean trouble.

I already explained in my previous post that it´s impossible for the children to take phone from living room to back to Ken´s room... how? phone line and outlet...?

Cheri´s post
Yes, Sure I will be upset, but I try not to show it because I would want them to tell me the truth, If I show that I was mad, They would give me full of lies of what really happened. So, that's how I learn to stay clam and relax, and find out what really happened, and I also remind my children no matter how bad it is, tell me the truth anyway I promise I won't raise my voice, or get mad. Most likely they will tell you the truth.

That´s exactly what I did with my children in form of my discipline... That´s why my children have no fear to tell me anything what they made mistakes or whatever.

 

[FreeWoman77]

wondering, what if at ur, liebling, house and kev used calls from ur house, ur phone nbr? i think tough decision

 

[Cookie Monster]

wondering, what if at ur, liebling, house and kev used calls from ur house, ur phone nbr? i think tough decision

Liebling, I apologize in advance for speaking for you but since I know you for a while now and I know you're a very good mother since we keep in touch with each other outside of the boards.

Freewoman, Liebling has mentioned already in this thread that she takes personal responsibility for what happens to her own children and their friends when they are in her care.

Of course it´s my responsible, not his if I receive other problem from Ken´s mother again because I never told Alan about 0190 in first place. I has to face the problem with her...

- Post 1

Liebling even questions the fact how does a young boy know the sex phone number..

I can´t say anything against her form of discipline but I still disagree with her for that because it´s her responsible to explain what he should not touch... How do Ken know about 0190 then?

Post 32

All in all...life is full of tough decisions and it is even tougher when you are a parent with children.

 

[FreeWoman77]

Liebling, I apologize in advance for speaking for you but since I know you for a while now and I know you're a very good mother since we keep in touch with each other outside of the boards.

Freewoman, Liebling has mentioned already in this thread that she takes personal responsibility for what happens to her own children and their friends when they are in her care.

- Post 1

Liebling even questions the fact how does a young boy know the sex phone number..

Post 32

All in all...life is full of tough decisions and it is even tougher when you are a parent with children.

oh, sorry, but thanks

my thought if i busted person using my phone with my girl and stopped i dont think i would like my daughter to be friend with that person i would probably talk with my daughters say NO or no longer friend with person, and avoid allowing them visit my house, dunno

that kev's mother would not be pleased if liebling wouldnt pay 1/2 and mother, i bet, stop her son, Kev, friend with alan :/

 

[Cheri]

that kev's mother would not be pleased if liebling wouldnt pay 1/2 and mother, i bet, stop her son, Kev, friend with alan :/

If she going to put Kevin in the middle by not being friends with Alan, then it would show immature on her behavior. If she so worried about the money on the sex phone call she should have thought about that the first place, Where was she at the time they made those calls? It's her own fault for not paying attention.

If it was me I wouldn't pay a penny, I'll tell her why the heck wasn't she around at the time they made the calls. That's what I'll say to her face if she demand half from me.

 

[Cookie Monster]

If she going to put Kevin in the middle by not being friends with Alan, then it would show immature on her behavior. If she so worried about the money on the sex phone call she should have thought about that the first place, Where was she at the time they made those calls? It's her own fault for not paying attention.

If it was me I wouldn't pay a penny, I'll tell her why the heck wasn't she around at the time they made the calls. That's what I'll say to her face if she demand half from me.

Kev's mother is the child out of this whole incident if she's going to use the boys as pawns so she can get Liebling to pay for half of the phone bill.

 

[Rose Immortal]

Maybe this is just me--but I don't think a teenager should have to be "warned" about a specific sex phone number. If a friend tries to get them to participate in that kind of thing, they should have the moral responsibility to refuse. If the friend deceives them and THEN they find out what it is, they should have the moral responsibility to hang up. If the teen fails in this, then he should have to pay his share. The parent of the visiting child should not have to pay--but I think the kid himself should, out of his own money. That's the most appropriate way to teach a lesson about responsibility. NOT all of this can be blamed on either set of parents. Yes, there was failure to supervise here--but there was also a moral failure on the part of the kids. And if it were my child, the LAST thing I'd want them to get from the incident is that others are responsible for their behavior, not them. I don't believe in "sheltering" children from the consequences--how can they learn otherwise?

Let's say I had a 16 year old, and he/she went out driving without my supervision, and got a traffic ticket. You'd better believe I'd make that kid go to court and pay the money out of his/her own pocket or do whatever community service was demanded as a result of the ticket. Or if the kid didn't have a job, I'd make him/her "earn" the money from me through chores, or something like that.

As for what age it's appropriate to give a child a cell phone, I think it depends a lot on knowing your particular child very well. I got a cell phone at 16 because my parents wanted it as a safety thing when I started driving. But I NEVER abused it. On the other hand, there are probably people 18 and older who for whatever reason are not mature enough to have a cell phone.

 

[Cheri]

Rose,

These two kids are not teenagers, Where did it say that they are teenagers? I believe Alan is age 8 or 9, I could be wrong, I know Danny is older than Alan which they are Liebling's children.

 

[Rose Immortal]

Rose,

These two kids are not teenagers, Where did it say that they are teenagers? I believe Alan is age 8 or 9, I could be wrong, I know Danny is older than Alan which they are Liebling's children.

My bad, I got the "teenager" idea because of the discussion of what age it's appropriate to give kids a cell phone.

For that age, I would bet the solution I had of having the kid "earn" the money to pay the bill with, through chores, would be appropriate. Lots of kids that same age work for an allowance...

 

[Opal]

Well, I believe Ken's parents should be held responsible for not supervising the boys. It should be a lesson for them!!!!!

Liebling - don't pay one Euro cent to them!!!!!

Hope Ken's parent's keep it to themselves, not spreading this incidents around your small village for gossip!!!

 

[Opal]

Repeat post

 

[Opal]

How? their phone is in living room... It´s impossible for the children took phone from living room to their room because of phone line... outlet... ??? cell phone is different story...

Yes it is possible.

There is a new modern land phone that don't required cord attachment, its called cordless phone same as mine, kids can using it outside to talk or bathroom - similar as cell (mobile) phone but it is a land phone.

www.wcblind.org/Cordless Phone.jpg/URL

 

[Audiofuzzy]

>>>I asked Alan what happenedl... Alan told me that he know from Ken at school today and said it´s Ken´s idea to play with 0190 for the fun... <<<

Well Alan did participated didn't he, meaning he did talk to the lady some time? so, certain portion of the bill was made by Alan , wasn't it?
So, since Alan did punched some $$$$ while talking to the lady, I think it would be only right to give the lady some money back??


Suppose it was at your house Liebling and Ken was talking for 15 minutes, how would you feel then?


Fuzzy

 

[Opal]

I hate to say it but I think you are being naive if you think the children don't know. They learn from friends, especially friends who have older siblings.

I don't beleive you are responsible for the bill as it was in their house and they were 'supervising', however my problem if it was my child is that they did not walk away.

Children are generally taught from a young age that it is wrong to use the phone without permission. For that reason he knew it was wrong. It does not matter what number they rang, they knew it was wrong without permission.

If it was my child they would be punished for using the phone without permission and/or not telling me straight away. Not after the friend told him at school that his mother was going to ring you.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Well, I believe Ken's parents should be held responsible for not supervising the boys. It should be a lesson for them!!!!!

Liebling - don't pay one Euro cent to them!!!!!

Hope Ken's parent's keep it to themselves, not spreading this incidents around your small village for gossip!!!

Yes, I aware it... :|

Why should I upset about this? Just let them whatever they wants.

It would be great if the people in village are mature to understand enough who is the responsible for this issue because they are also parents, too.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Yes it is possible.

There is a new modern land phone that don't required cord attachment, its called cordless phone same as mine, kids can using it outside to talk or bathroom - similar as cell (mobile) phone but it is a land phone.

www.wcblind.org/Cordless Phone.jpg/URL

True, I never thought about this. I didn't pay attention what kind of phone she has in living-room. It seem to me that Ken disrespect his parent's rule if it's really true that he took phone back to his room to share with Alan. Other side, Ken's mother must have notice missing phone and boys as she go in living room for check since she know the boys are in living-room then?

Still no update about Ken's mother yet.

Anyway I talked Alan again at his bedtime after finished my posts here last night. I asked Alan to support me with his answer to my few questions before I can talk with Ken's mother. (I have to because Ken's mother still haven't reply me).

Liebling: Do you remember when you and Ken dialed 0190?
Alan: Week School Holiday.
Liebling: Ok, which room you and Ken use phone?
Alan: Living-room.
Liebling: ok, how do Ken know about 0190 then?
Alan: Ken only said that a lady on the phone is funny and jokes. (***It look like it's not first time before he got Alan to listen?***)
Liebling: Ok, Do Ken's mother allow Ken to dial 0190 to talk a stranger on the phone?
Alan said:
Liebling: Ok, Did Ken asked his mother for permission?
Alan: No because Ken's mother is not here.

I was like puzzled then questioned him again: Not here? Where is she then?... He answered: Work. I was like I got him to tell me everything again - how long she leave Ken alone for go to work like this? (I know she is working 2 shifts work as her husband - they work at same company). He answered "often".

It hit my head with hammer real hard and remember that Ken's grandparents left village to move back to East Germany last August 2005. I did asked Ken's mother who watch Ken then? She said that she & her husband plan to change their shift schedule to watch Ken like what my hubby & me..(I work from 7.30 am to 4.00 pm then my hubby work from 5 pm to 10 pm). *sigh* Why Ken's mother can't ask us to watch Ken for her then? *sigh* We watch Ken sometimes when he came home from school when Ken's grandparents make their outing trip or holiday, etc in the past. Alan overnight at their house sometimes... I really don't understand the whole situation. I have to wait and listen Ken's mother's side then I will know more.

If Ken know his parent's rule for not touch 0190 then it's mean is he disrespect his parent's rule... He deserve his ground from his parents for that. If not, he doesn't deserve it. I would do the same if Alan disrespect my rule to touch 0190 or 0137 without get permission from me but I would not call Ken's mother telling her to pay half because I neglect my responsible of supersivon. It's my problem, not her.



***No problem, Cookie Monster - Thank you for answer Freewoman76 ***

 

[Liebling:-)))]

>>>I asked Alan what happenedl... Alan told me that he know from Ken at school today and said it´s Ken´s idea to play with 0190 for the fun... <<<

Well Alan did participated didn't he, meaning he did talk to the lady some time? so, certain portion of the bill was made by Alan , wasn't it?
So, since Alan did punched some $$$$ while talking to the lady, I think it would be only right to give the lady some money back??

Yes, Alan & Ken share one phone to talk to lady at Ken's house. I told him to not talk to stranger on the phone even again.

No I would not do that because it's Ken's parent's house - it's them who are responsible to neglect their supersivon.

Suppose it was at your house Liebling and Ken was talking for 15 minutes, how would you feel then?
Fuzzy

Yes, I accept my responsible to neglect my supersivon on children, not Ken's parents. Why should I threw my anger on Ken's parents because Ken use my phone then?

Alan will deserve ground from me if he disrespect my rule for touch 0137 (0190 was block at long time ago) and of course it's part of my responsible to not check my children chat on my phone, not Ken's parent.

The phone bill will tell you which line you use... 0137 or 0190 or 0180, etc. If I see 0137 on the list then I will know it's children. My children know they must ask me for the permission first before they use my phone. My children haven't touch 0137 ever since I warned them. (I don't care if Danny use 0137 on his Prepaid cell phone (with limit card) because it's his money but he use twice, then no more).

 

[CrazyMomma]

It hit my head with hammer real hard and remember that Ken's grandparents left village to move back to East Germany last August 2005. I did asked Ken's mother who watch Ken then? She said that she & her husband plan to change their shift schedule to watch Ken like what my hubby & me..(I work from 7.30 am to 4.00 pm then my hubby work from 5 pm to 10 pm). *sigh* Why Ken's mother can't ask us to watch Ken for her then? *sigh* We watch Ken sometimes when he came home from school when Ken's grandparents make their outing trip or holiday, etc in the past. Alan overnight at their house sometimes... I really don't understand the whole situation. I have to wait and listen Ken's mother's side then I will know more.

WAIT.. WAIT.. Sorry, it's off topic... I am just like her.. I DO have 2 jobs.. One, I am working for government, I work from 8am to 4:30pm in 5 days. Two, I am working for Giant Eagles (grocery store) from 6:00pm to 11:00pm in 7 days. I have DIFFERENT people watching Kyler for me, and my husband work from 7:30am to 10pm, cause he is the BOSS of the company. I have my sister watch him, my mom, or my next door neighbors, but they do HATE watching my son while I work both job. If my son is 12 or 13 years old, I would leave him home alone with the dogs, and lock the house and no family nearby, I would leave him at home and I will tell him NOT to call anybody but me or my husband. If phone ringing, be sure to check the Caller ID and check, if someone else, do not answer, if it was from me or my husband, answer it.

I know, you might think I am crazy, but, the important, money is tight (maybe Alan's mother is working 2 jobs and bringing money home to pay the bills or maybe not making a money or something). And it's hard, but I noticed a lot of people have 2 or 3 jobs when they have kids. Family are number 1 to everyone, and I know that. But when it come to bills, and keep the water on, keep the heat on, keep the roof over your head, and foods, it cost money. Kids are expensive!! Heating is expensive. Water is expensive. Foods are expensive. Maybe Ken's mother was trying to make some money to bring home and pay the bills, and that same with her husband. But Kids are always number 1 priority...

I know, I don't agree with my aunt, she and I always fight over everything when it come to laws and rules. But hey, I am pretty sure that everyone have done "little" bad things during childhood... What about, Me smoking dope at age 8, did I get caught? Did I get caught by police? Did my mother see me doing? What about me, took my mom's car and went out for drive with no license with a friend at 1:00 in the morning and came home with no scratch, did anyone catch me? Nooo... I am glad I didn't get any trouble with laws, that same for sex phones for underage, and drinking for ages and drugs for underage.

That's okay, I am more different mom than you are. Everyone have differences.