mmmmhhh sex phone bill...

[Reba]

Forgive me for not response your post an earlier.
Here is link explain about German law.

Thank you for clarifying the German law.

 

[candyon9]

I apologize in advance if I have not jumped in, at the right place... Not very experienced with this, but this thread caught my attention. Very interesting!

Liebling, I am curious if you asked Alan, if he felt responsible for atleast part of the phone bill?? Or what he thought he should do to make amends with his friend's family.

I agree that Ken's parents should have been supervising the boys, but I also feel strongly that children need to learn there are consequences for their actions. Its important for us all to learn.. sometimes we make choices that cause harm or hardship to others. OUr intent may not be malicious, or we may not have had the forethought to think it out, but.. we sometimes make decisions or do things that cause someone else hardship. We have to make amends..thats how life is. I think its important that children learn that.. "you may not have intended any harm, but your actions caused hardship. How do you suppose you can make amends?" It may not be paying the phone bill..it may be shoveling their driveway.. or raking leaves.. but there should be some sort of action, taken by your son, to acknowledge that he made a poor choice and acknowledges it created an issue for someone else.
It sounds as if you have a great relationship with your children, and you feel strongly that your son is telling you the truth. However, at some point during these calls, Alan must have had the knowledge that this was 'sneaky' or at the very least, above the normal acceptable behaviour, as he didnt' come home and mention it to you the day(s) it took place. Again, he may not have had any intent to cause any harm, and it sounds like that is the case, but infact, his actions DID cause some trouble. Natural consequences of life decisions and i think its important he learns that.
Thats my two cents..

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Thank you for clarifying the German law.

Welcome

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Liebling, I am curious if you asked Alan, if he felt responsible for atleast part of the phone bill?? Or what he thought he should do to make amends with his friend's family.

Alan informed us straight way after learn his mistake from Kevin about phone bill at school. What he admitted his mistake is great appreciate to us. He thought it´s okay for Ken to use phone call during his parent´s absence. Alan visited their friends´s houses and learn that every parents have different rules with them... That´s how Alan thought it´s okay with Ken´s parents for him to use phone... (we know that Ken is a spoilt child).

I agree that Ken's parents should have been supervising the boys

Yes, Ken´s mother already admitted her responsible of neglect her supervison and accept to this. She told me last week that she thought she trust Ken & Alan.

, but I also feel strongly that children need to learn there are consequences for their actions.

Yes, Alan already learn his mistake and will know that he will never do that again to touch every´s phones when he visit their houses.

Its important for us all to learn.. sometimes we make choices that cause harm or hardship to others.

The punishment doesn´t solve anything to learn their lesson but use discipline to show children what right or wrong way. Alan will have it only if he KNEW about my warning in first place...

I think its important that children learn that.. "you may not have intended any harm, but your actions caused hardship

Use discipline with Natural consequences are most important to teach/show the children, not punishment.

. How do you suppose you can make amends?" It may not be paying the phone bill..it may be shoveling their driveway.. or raking leaves.. but there should be some sort of action, taken by your son, to acknowledge that he made a poor choice and acknowledges it created an issue for someone else.

Yes Alan know it and accept what he did is not right because he listen Ken in first place.

It sounds as if you have a great relationship with your children, and you feel strongly that your son is telling you the truth.

Yes, Alan repeated his word to Ken´s mother last Friday... I told Alan to not angry with Ken for his lie to his mother over us... I know why Ken told lie to his mother BECAUSE he´s SCARED of his mother´s harsh punishment... That´s why... I would never do that to my children because it will force my children into liar and hide more and more. I do is teach them into right path...

However, at some point during these calls, Alan must have had the knowledge that this was 'sneaky' or at the very least, above the normal acceptable behaviour, as he didnt' come home and mention it to you the day(s) it took place.

How should Alan know that Ken´s mother allow Ken to use phone? Ken told him about lady on the phone... Alan knows that Ken´s mother gave Ken EVERYTHING more than I gave my children. Alan knows that Ken´s mother & I have different rules to set our children. I know Ken is a spoilt child for a long time. Thats how Alan thought Ken can allow everything what he wants. How could he know then? That´s how Alan learn from Ken at school on the same time as he told us what happened. It shock us because we never thought that Alan & Ken use sex phone... That´s how I began to teach Alan to not touch everyone´s phone during their absence or without get permission from them because EVERY parents don´t like it... - it cost a lot of money. Alan understood it right way... It´s about teaching, not punishment.

Again, he may not have had any intent to cause any harm, and it sounds like that is the case, but infact, his actions DID cause some trouble. of life decisions and i think its important he learns that.
Thats my two cents..

Yes, I have teach him to not do that etc...