Mad

dreama said:
My father also believes in corperal punishment. In fact it used to be socially acceptable to hit your children. Since you are the same age as me I'm wondering if the rules changed after you were adopted?
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i don't know if the rules have changed or not, but i could ask my social work advisor to see if she knows.
 
Another thing that pushes all my buttons: when people get mad at me for feeling depressed. I'm sorry, I can't help it. And then they start blaming me for being a pain in the neck and so on. <mad>
 
Nika said:
I think that is a key difference. Corporal punishment was much more socially acceptable in 1978 than it was in 1993, which is when I was adopted.
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like i said, i know a woman at my university who recently adopted several children, believes in spanking and strong disipline yet she was able to adopt without any problem -- and she answered all of the adoption agency's questions honestly.
 
Nika said:
They do, dreama, but they're not very effectively enforced.
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wrong term. They are STRICTLY forbidden to around with children or they will be arrested again. It is VERY DIFFICULT to build cases against first-time pedophiles. btw - it is nearly impossible for pedophile to do teaching or pediatrics because of criminal background check.
 
Jiro said:
wrong term. They are STRICTLY forbidden to around with children or they will be arrested again. It is VERY DIFFICULT to build cases against first-time pedophiles. btw - it is nearly impossible for pedophile to do teaching or pediatrics because of criminal background check.
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That's great, please explain several of my teachers then. Thanks.
 
Nika said:
Well another question is did they tell the evaluator that they were?
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I wasn't adopted.

My point was that many parents around the time me and Hear again were born believed in corperal punishement. So did many of my teachers. It was a done thing in those days. Some parents still think corperal punishment is acceptable.

Whilst I don't really agree with corperal punishement we can go too far the other way. For example this boy kicked my friend's cat through her cat flap. My friends husband went out and hit him. His parents called the police. Now the boy gets the message that it's ok to kick animals. If anyone tries to stop him they can get into trouble with the law. I don't think that's a good thing either.
 
dreama said:
I wasn't adopted.

My point was that many parents around the time me and Hear again were born believed in corperal punishement. So did many of my teachers. It was a done thing in those days. Some parents still think corperal punishment is acceptable.
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exactly. parental attitudes haven't changed *that* much since the 1970s.
 
I know some parents still believe in corporal punishment. But I know for a fact this particular agency didn't let adoptions go through if the parents believed in it. I read it in the documents.
 
Nika said:
Another thing that pushes all my buttons: when people get mad at me for feeling depressed. I'm sorry, I can't help it. And then they start blaming me for being a pain in the neck and so on. <mad>
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what do you mean, nika? what kinds of things do they say? do they tell you to "snap out of it?" (i *hate* it when people do that!) <mad>
 
<mad> people that assume without getting the facts, and then get mad, and people that only talk to you when they want something.
 
typeingtornado19 said:
No offense, but easily.
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Thanks Typeing

Biological parents abuse child: Child goes into foster care: Biological parents move to another area and have another child: maybe that gets put in foster care too and so on...

Now if Biological parent who abused their child were steralized they wouldn't be able to have another child so their would not be another child in the system.

Less foster children in the sysem would mean more vacancies so the agencies aren't so rushed off their feet and can look into homes more carefully.
 
Nika said:
That's great, please explain several of my teachers then. Thanks.
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couple questions before I answer your question -
1. what year did this happen?
2. are they convicted pedophile before or after they were teachers?
 
dreama said:
Thanks Typeing

Biological parents abuse child: Child goes into foster care: Biological parents move to another area and have another child: maybe that gets put in foster care too and so on...

Now if Biological parent who abused their child were steralized they wouldn't be able to have another child so their would not be another child in the system.

Less foster children in the sysem would mean more vacancies so the agencies aren't so rushed off their feet and can look into homes more carefully.
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ah I see what you mean. wow that is messed up but thanks god it's not that widespread.
 
Jiro said:
wrong term. They are STRICTLY forbidden to around with children or they will be arrested again. It is VERY DIFFICULT to build cases against first-time pedophiles. btw - it is nearly impossible for pedophile to do teaching or pediatrics because of criminal background check.
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Correction: Those that are caught are strictly forbidden around children. Unfortunately some never get caught because they are too XXXX clever.
 
Hear Again said:
what do you mean, nika? what kinds of things do they say? do they tell you to "snap out of it?" (i *hate* it when people do that!) <mad>
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Yes. "Snap out of it." "Get over it." "Get out of your funk." "Move on." "Stop moping." "Do something." My family has yelled at me for hours about how I'm always so depressed and it's so annoying to them and how they're sick of me being depressed all the time. "You're such a burden, Nika." That's the worst is when they call me a burden. And they tend to do this when I'm already feeling suicidal, so calling me a burden just gives me more reason to want to end it all. <depressed>
 
Jiro said:
ah I see what you mean. wow that is messed up but thanks god it's not that widespread.
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It's more widespread than people think, because not enough children come out about what is happening to them, there is so much mental, emotional, and sexual abuse that no one knows about.
 
dreama said:
Now if Biological parent who abused their child were steralized they wouldn't be able to have another child so their would not be another child in the system.
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the only problem with this scenario is that biological parents can always adopt. if they are later found to abuse a child, he or she is once again placed into the foster care system and the cycle continues on and on.
 
Nika said:
Yes. "Snap out of it." "Get over it." "Get out of your funk." "Move on." "Stop moping." "Do something." My family has yelled at me for hours about how I'm always so depressed and it's so annoying to them and how they're sick of me being depressed all the time. "You're such a burden, Nika." That's the worst is when they call me a burden. And they tend to do this when I'm already feeling suicidal, so calling me a burden just gives me more reason to want to end it all. <depressed>
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I'm sorry Nika, i know how you feel, I have had counselors do that too.
 
typeingtornado19 said:
It's more widespread than people think, because not enough children come out about what is happening to them, there is so much mental, emotional, and sexual abuse that no one knows about.
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this is true. i was abused/traumatized 3 different ways by my parents and i did nothing about it because i was too afraid to tell another adult for fear of my father going to jail, i didn't know what could be done to rectify the situation and for the most part, until i was 13, i was too young to understand what it meant to tell authorities what was happening to me.
 
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