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Deafteen90 said:
I think social services should do even lenghty long tests on foster carers. my mum's assessment took maybe 6 months to go through. I think it should be a year because there are lots of foster carers out there who shouldnt even be one
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It's not because of assessment. Assessment is easy to fool/pass. It's because they do not regularly check on each foster home. Many social workers are underpaid and grossly overworked. They have more caseloads than maximum allowed.
 
Jiro said:
It's not because of assessment. Assessment is easy to fool/pass. It's because they do not regularly check on each foster home. Many social workers are underpaid and grossly overworked. They have more caseloads than maximum allowed.
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exactly.

it's far too easy for everyone to blame social services, but what people don't realize is that social workers have way too many cases to deal with and are severely underpaid given the amount of work they do.
 
Deafteen90 said:
I think social services should do even lenghty long tests on foster carers. my mum's assessment took maybe 6 months to go through. I think it should be a year because there are lots of foster carers out there who shouldnt even be one
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Couldn't agree more!
 
Deafteen90 said:
I think social services should do even lenghty long tests on foster carers. my mum's assessment took maybe 6 months to go through. I think it should be a year because there are lots of foster carers out there who shouldnt even be one
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unfortunately, this is easier said than done. if social workers were to expand testing from 6 months to a year, this would slow the process down even more.
 
Jiro said:
It's not because of assessment. Assessment is easy to fool/pass. It's because they do not regularly check on each foster home. Many social workers are underpaid and grossly overworked. They have more caseloads than maximum allowed.
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That too. Although I have to say that there were some red flags in my parents evaluations and the woman who evaluated them (this is for adoption in my case) just ignored them, wanting to get the process over with.
 
Nika said:
That too. Although I have to say that there were some red flags in my parents evaluations and the woman who evaluated them (this is for adoption in my case) just ignored them, wanting to get the process over with.
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how do you know for a fact that she ignored them? perhaps she was so overloaded with paperwork or what not that she accidentally overlooked them.
 
Hear Again said:
how do you know for a fact that she ignored them? perhaps she was so overloaded with paperwork or what not that she overlooked them.
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"As a parent, do you think it is ethical to use corporal punishment as a means for discipline?"

"Yes."

I have a hard time believing she would overlook that.

My therapist who specialized in adoptions told me that the agency that she belonged to (which was also written on the documents) strictly did not give children up to adoption if the parent answered "yes" to that question. Also, there was an entire paragraph in the document devoted to explaining why my dad said "yes," which the evaluator typed up herself.
 
Nika said:
"As a parent, do you think it is ethical to use corporal punishment as a means for discipline?"

"Yes."

I have a hard time believing she would overlook that.

My therapist who specialized in adoptions told me that the agency that she belonged to (which was also written on the documents) strictly did not give children up to adoption if the parent answered "yes" to that question. Also, there was an entire paragraph in the document devoted to explaining why my dad said "yes," which the evaluator typed up herself.
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that's really interesting because my mother and father believed in corporal punishment yet it never prevented them from becoming foster and adoptive parents.
 
Hear Again said:
that's really interesting because my mother and father believed in corporal punishment yet it never prevented them from becoming foster and adoptive parents.
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Different agencies, different times. By the time I was adopted, it was already becoming looked down upon to use corporal punishment on children. Also this agency specialized in Russian adoptions and there have been so many stories about adoptive parents abusing their newly adopted children that this agency probably wanted to be able to say "we didn't allow prospective parents with any tendencies towards physical punishment to adopt." Probably a measure to cover their case.
 
Nika said:
Different agencies, different times. By the time I was adopted, it was already becoming looked down upon to use corporal punishment on children. Also this agency specialized in Russian adoptions and there have been so many stories about adoptive parents abusing their newly adopted children that this agency probably wanted to be able to say "we didn't allow prospective parents with any tendencies towards physical punishment to adopt." Probably a measure to cover their case.
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even today the same holds true. a woman i know at my university believes in spanking and strong discipline yet it never prevented her from adopting several children.
 
Jiro said:
It's not because of assessment. Assessment is easy to fool/pass. It's because they do not regularly check on each foster home. Many social workers are underpaid and grossly overworked. They have more caseloads than maximum allowed.
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Whilst it is sad that some foster parents are bad, it's also the case with some parents too. I know a woman who abused her children. The social services came after complaints but they said she was doing ok.

I think the answer to this problem is not to kill the babies. It's to improve the system so those who abuse children should not get to look after them wether their own or through foster care. In fact child abusers should all be steralized so they can't have kids.
 
Hear Again said:
that's really interesting because my mother and father believed in corporal punishment yet it never prevented them from becoming foster and adoptive parents.
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My father also believes in corperal punishment. In fact it used to be socially acceptable to hit your children. Since you are the same age as me I'm wondering if the rules changed after you were adopted?
 
dreama said:
My father also believes in corperal punishment. In fact it used to be socially acceptable to hit your children. Since you are the same age as me I'm wondering if the rules changed after you were adopted?
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Well another question is did they tell the evaluator that they were?
 
dreama said:
Whilst it is sad that some foster parents are bad, it's also the case with some parents too. I know a woman who abused her children. The social services came after complaints but they said she was doing ok.

I think the answer to this problem is not to kill the babies. It's to improve the system so those who abuse children should not get to look after them wether their own or through foster care. In fact child abusers should all be steralized so they can't have kids.
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uh..... how did you go from abusive foster parents to sterilizing child abusers?????
 
Nika said:
I agree, but many of them will just find kids elsewhere by working in teaching or pediatrics or something.
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That should not be permitted either. Don't they already have rules stopping sex offenders from working with kids? I suppose the problem is getting them caught in the first place as the clever ones know who they can get away with abusing.
 
dreama said:
That should not be permitted either. Don't they already have rules stopping sex offenders from working with kids? I suppose the problem is getting them caught in the first place as the clever ones know who they can get away with abusing.
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They do, dreama, but they're not very effectively enforced.
 
Hear Again said:
my parents did and the adoption agency had no problem with that. mind you, this was back in 1978.
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I think that is a key difference. Corporal punishment was much more socially acceptable in 1978 than it was in 1993, which is when I was adopted.
 
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