Legally Separated

Freaky Cat said:
I just got separated from my hubby. It is hard to believe that it didnt work out for both of us. it was fun while it lasted.... I know I will not get married ever again. i realized alot said it is only a piece of paper yet it left my heart in million pieces. jeez what a jerk!
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How very embarassing.
 
Oh dear, Freak Cat.

I'm very sorry that you found the truth color about your hubby and MIL like this...

Yes, I agreed that he is mummy's boy. You are better off without him... I wish you best of good luck in the future... and think positive about your life...I know you did...

:hug:
 
Liebling:-))) said:
Oh dear, Freak Cat.

I'm very sorry that you found the truth color about your hubby and MIL like this...

Yes, I agreed that he is mummy's boy. You are better off without him... I wish you best of good luck in the future... and think positive about your life...I know you did...

:hug:
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yes i knew him well from school.. and he had changed so MUCH over the years... amazing that i didnt see thru it in the beginning... guess i was in LOVE... argh... go figure that im a BLONDE... sigh!

douglas.. why u said how embarrassing?? i am not embarrassed that i married him for love.. but found out the hard way as he is momma's boy and everything else... i wouldnt give my pets up as i had them before i was with David ... and TJ, my son come first too as well..
 
Wait a minute. Excuse me there are many different issues here that I could not catch up.

Something that got me attention at this time. You were not happy because he is with his mother. I think that it is not your business. But, one thing that he is very wrong. You live with him under his mother's 2nd house. I realize that he is selfish to do that to you beside I think he is afraid that he would lose a house if it is a divorce issue. It is obvious that his mother protects him, not you. Get rid of him. My opinion is that it is really not worth to get a 2nd marriage. It should be fine if you have a new boyfriend, but it is not worth to get married because you don't want this happen again. It is very hard to trust someone... Having a boyfriend that makes you feel young again like a teenager. I think you know what I mean.
 
webexplorer said:
Wait a minute. Excuse me there are many different issues here that I could not catch up.

Something that got me attention at this time. You were not happy because he is with his mother. I think that it is not your business. But, one thing that he is very wrong. You live with him under his mother's 2nd house. I realize that he is selfish to do that to you beside I think he is afraid that he would lose a house if it is a divorce issue. It is obvious that his mother protects him, not you. Get rid of him. My opinion is that it is really not worth to get a 2nd marriage. It should be fine if you have a new boyfriend, but it is not worth to get married because you don't want this happen again. It is very hard to trust someone... Having a boyfriend that makes you feel young again like a teenager. I think you know what I mean.
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what i meant is that his mom came over to the house and told me that all pets MUST go and that it is her HOUSE but she doesnt live in it? only me and david? she made it sound like i am not welcome? thats why i moved out...

she had no right to tell me what to do.. david only.. she butted in our marriage.. thats whats its all about.... he told me when he married me that he love animals and said that i can bring my dog mac and 2 cats with me to his house.. that was last Jan when i married him.. he knew i have responsiblities to my pets and TJ of course..

.my sister asked me if i could take care of 2 kittens who are only few days old as the mother abandoned them so i took them home iwth me to bottle feed them.. yet his mom came over and told me all pets must go...why now?? why not in beginning??? not make sense you know??

i dont want his house as he is still paying for it...it is his house.. he got it long time before married me.. so he should keep it.. thats what i believe in...
thats not the only reason why we are separated.. there are trust issues as david doesnt trust me as he cut phone off. he only think of himself.. not me and TJ.. why didnt he discussed that with me in first place? he just up and called phone co and tell them to disconnect phone out of blue and i didnt know? what if something happened to me and TJ while he is working overnight? someone break in .. house got on fire? how will i call then?

so he is immature and act like a kid.. telling me what to do.. im an adult? i know? im not that dumb? hes controlling me.. and i wont put up with it.. oh yeah where is the love and affection? he always ignored me when he came home from work and straight to shower then zoom to bed.. i have to come to him all times to kiss him and talk to him.. he act like he doesnt want to talk to me.. but now i know why... i think he was never in love with me in first place...

why are u telling me not to have a second marriage but have a boyfriend instead? you have no right to tell me what to do nor anyone else.. its my business or other's business... if i happened to meet someone later on and be happy... if he ask me to marry him.. i might or not... but i m not going to not for A WHILE! maybe i will never marry again...it is just piece of paper? too much hassles, i think... so really i gotta focus on myself and TJ right now... and my mom of course... please refrain from telling me ok? Thank you..
 
Freaky Cat said:
what i meant is that his mom came over to the house and told me that all pets MUST go and that it is her HOUSE but she doesnt live in it? only me and david? she made it sound like i am not welcome? thats why i moved out...

she had no right to tell me what to do.. david only.. she butted in our marriage.. thats whats its all about.... he told me when he married me that he love animals and said that i can bring my dog mac and 2 cats with me to his house.. that was last Jan when i married him.. he knew i have responsiblities to my pets and TJ of course..

.my sister asked me if i could take care of 2 kittens who are only few days old as the mother abandoned them so i took them home iwth me to bottle feed them.. yet his mom came over and told me all pets must go...why now?? why not in beginning??? not make sense you know??

i dont want his house as he is still paying for it...it is his house.. he got it long time before married me.. so he should keep it.. thats what i believe in...
thats not the only reason why we are separated.. there are trust issues as david doesnt trust me as he cut phone off. he only think of himself.. not me and TJ.. why didnt he discussed that with me in first place? he just up and called phone co and tell them to disconnect phone out of blue and i didnt know? what if something happened to me and TJ while he is working overnight? someone break in .. house got on fire? how will i call then?

so he is immature and act like a kid.. telling me what to do.. im an adult? i know? im not that dumb? hes controlling me.. and i wont put up with it.. oh yeah where is the love and affection? he always ignored me when he came home from work and straight to shower then zoom to bed.. i have to come to him all times to kiss him and talk to him.. he act like he doesnt want to talk to me.. but now i know why... i think he was never in love with me in first place...

why are u telling me not to have a second marriage but have a boyfriend instead? you have no right to tell me what to do nor anyone else.. its my business or other's business... if i happened to meet someone later on and be happy... if he ask me to marry him.. i might or not... but i m not going to not for A WHILE! maybe i will never marry again...it is just piece of paper? too much hassles, i think... so really i gotta focus on myself and TJ right now... and my mom of course... please refrain from telling me ok? Thank you..
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It's terrible that he controlled you. That's not nice. He wanted to be in the power of the family or he might have had an affair and she has his phone number - who knows. I had a term paper when I was in college about the power between a father and mother. Let's go back what I said that it would be nice for you to have a new boyfriend that let you to be more flexible since you have TJ. Of course, I did not want to tell you what to do with your life. I thought of it because it reminds me of my mother and her boyfriend, and they are very happy now. She does not want to get another married because of the stress which is not fair, and she had a terrible divorce. Take your time and heal yourself first. Let your mother support you. Just be happy with TJ. Someday, you might want to find a nice boyfriend. I understand how hard it is, and you will feel better in a few months or less. I am not your therapist, and wish you a good luck.
 
sablescort said:
Legally separated is also a "cool-off" period before the divorce becomes final. It also gives the chance that both parties may change their mind about divorce.

......I'm gonna have to say this 'cause....

I got back together with the wife last weekend! It just happened when I called her to ask if I can see my daughter. She was like sure meet me at the gas station. Last Sat night I pick the kid up and talk for 15 mins before going home for the night with my daughter in tow. Next day I bring her back and talk with the wife in her car for 2 hours with the AC running due to a hot day.

Next thing I know I end up going to the hospital with the wife cuz my daugther had a visit to the doctor that morning last Tuesday. Spent the time talking what happened about things that led to the 8 months separation and the divorce filing. We took on the chance to work it out in the hospital cafeteria. After all we gotta try again for the girls' sakes.

Hope it is better the next time round for both of us and the girls....
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That's awsome and I wish you all the best in making your relationship work out.
 
Freaky Cat said:
what i meant is that his mom came over to the house and told me that all pets MUST go and that it is her HOUSE but she doesnt live in it? only me and david? she made it sound like i am not welcome? thats why i moved out...

she had no right to tell me what to do.. david only.. she butted in our marriage.. thats whats its all about.... he told me when he married me that he love animals and said that i can bring my dog mac and 2 cats with me to his house.. that was last Jan when i married him.. he knew i have responsiblities to my pets and TJ of course..

.my sister asked me if i could take care of 2 kittens who are only few days old as the mother abandoned them so i took them home iwth me to bottle feed them.. yet his mom came over and told me all pets must go...why now?? why not in beginning??? not make sense you know??

i dont want his house as he is still paying for it...it is his house.. he got it long time before married me.. so he should keep it.. thats what i believe in...
thats not the only reason why we are separated.. there are trust issues as david doesnt trust me as he cut phone off. he only think of himself.. not me and TJ.. why didnt he discussed that with me in first place? he just up and called phone co and tell them to disconnect phone out of blue and i didnt know? what if something happened to me and TJ while he is working overnight? someone break in .. house got on fire? how will i call then?

so he is immature and act like a kid.. telling me what to do.. im an adult? i know? im not that dumb? hes controlling me.. and i wont put up with it.. oh yeah where is the love and affection? he always ignored me when he came home from work and straight to shower then zoom to bed.. i have to come to him all times to kiss him and talk to him.. he act like he doesnt want to talk to me.. but now i know why... i think he was never in love with me in first place...

why are u telling me not to have a second marriage but have a boyfriend instead? you have no right to tell me what to do nor anyone else.. its my business or other's business... if i happened to meet someone later on and be happy... if he ask me to marry him.. i might or not... but i m not going to not for A WHILE! maybe i will never marry again...it is just piece of paper? too much hassles, i think... so really i gotta focus on myself and TJ right now... and my mom of course... please refrain from telling me ok? Thank you..
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Glad u recognized all the problems and got out instead of trying to change him only for it to get worse later.

Few of my friends remain with their husbands even though they are miserable with them for fear of being on their own. Oh well.
 
shel90 said:
Glad u recognized all the problems and got out instead of trying to change him only for it to get worse later.

Few of my friends remain with their husbands even though they are miserable with them for fear of being on their own. Oh well.
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yeah i am glad... and david is not happy... the last word i remmy he said.. IF only you had listened..... thats controlling... telling me to do that and there.. im not his slave... jeez.. i know trying to better him is not worth it as u are right it may get worse later on.. thats why i got out of it as i know its not worth my time...:)
 
wow i am very sowwy abt that happen to u... sigh i dont like control ur life so it not worth to keep him .. divorce him.. so u have ur pets and TJ in ur life now.. smiles... :hug:
 
TweetyBird said:
wow i am very sowwy abt that happen to u... sigh i dont like control ur life so it not worth to keep him .. divorce him.. so u have ur pets and TJ in ur life now.. smiles... :hug:
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its ok.. yep its in process of divorce... thanks fr the hug.. :)
 
Freaky Cat said:
i am not afraid to be alone again as i have been single for MANY YEARS. this was my first marriage... i was only with him for almost 7 1/2 months.. yet he is still mommas boy... argh... i know i will be fine without him.... i am tuff than i look.. i got alot of things to focus on instead of sulking over losing him.. hes not worth crying over.. hes just a jerk.. he got alot to learn.... but dont think he will ever learn....

i went thru alot of hardships like being shunned by the community due to my dad having AIDS.. then losing twin boys and my daughter.. being a single mother to my son TJ and having job.. and living on my own .. it was HARD.. but i managed it without any help from anyone.... then my mom got sick.. so moved back home to help her.... then moving away... now back home and my mom is glad im home to take care of her as my sister didnt take good care of her.. so all is good...so u can see that i will be fine! :)
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Well me and my husband were married in january of this year. my daughter is due to be here in november and ive already had him served with spousal support papers for us to go to court on aug 20th. if he doesnt show he will be found in contempt of court and will be put in jail. i just saw my lawyer yesterday and my husband will be served with divorce papers next week on the grounds of abandonment and constructive desertion. they said the chances of him having custody will never be there because of the type of grounds for divorce we have. i was so excited when i was called and told he had been served with the spousal support summons for court. i wish i could've seen the look on that jerks face. and i would love to be a fly on the wall when he is served with the divorce papers. the lawyer i have has been extremely helpful in the short period of time i have been dealing with him. but thanks to all of the helpful advice and pick me ups that everyone has been leaving.
 
me and my husband were living with my parents and i was brought up not to be a slob and to pick up after myself once i was done. my husband apparently one day took the sponge that we washed the dishes with, used it on the floor and then put it back and did all of this right in front of my mother. he treated me and my parents like servants. we would have to pick up after everything. i mean my parents have nice furniture and he would put his greasy car hands all over it and i also caught him with his hands on the wall too after he had come home from work at autozone. he was so disgusting and such a slob. i even took and got to the point where i would sleep in the guest room because i couldnt and didnt want to sleep next to him. i felt disgusted being his wife. but he got his money and wont help me out at all with my bills seeing as i got put out of my job when i found out i was pregnant cuz i couldnt do that type of work anymore. my husband is also such a mommas boy because he has a tattoo of her name on his arm and would call her every single day and wouldnt even bother talking to her around me but would wait til he would walk out to his car in the morning to go to work to call her after telling me he didnt have any signal in the house. he was a liar and so controlling of me that i couldnt even go grocery shopping with my mom without him calling my cell phone 30-40 times (not exaggerating that either by the way).
 
Freaky Cat said:
I just got separated from my hubby. It is hard to believe that it didnt work out for both of us. it was fun while it lasted.... I know I will not get married ever again. i realized alot said it is only a piece of paper yet it left my heart in million pieces. jeez what a jerk!
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never say never... so sorry about this news... ouchie!!! hang in there!!!
 
Freaky Cat said:
me too.. but guess not... he cut the phone off so i cant go online as he doesnt trust me.. he lied to everyone that i was online all night.. i never was?>??? i dont know why he would lie like that?? i do still love him so much... but he doesnt love me anymore as he said that he fell out of love.. i think he never loved me in first place... he just dont want to be alone i guess.. and another thing is that his mom came to the house last saturday and told me that all pets MUST go... she also said it was HER house.. but she doesnt live in it? the way she made it like i am not welcome .. thats why i moved out... cuz i wont give my pets up... i had them long time before marrying david.. so no way i would give them up... so forget it.. plus hes not understanding when it come to menieres disease.. feeling sick and dizzy all times.. he have no patience for me being sick.. i cant help it??? sigh.. so it didnt work out for both of us.. i guess it was for best...
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oh dang, sounds like he's a momma's boy sorry to say this... he didn't stick up for you.. as the wedding vows.. sickness and health... weren't you together that long before marriage?? wow... but David didn't complain about the pets why now?? I think it was really an excuse .... I guess he got cold feet... Hun, don't let him gets to ya... one day at a time... huggss tightly!!!
 
Freaky Cat said:
yeah we did have counseling 3 times.. but not enough... my hubby still told his mom and mom butted in our marriage. my hubby need to learn to deal with it.. he is mommas boy.... no excuse.... :(
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just what I said before he's a momma's boy before seeing this .... well maybe these days we should live together to see if it's for real or not before committing but I know depending on religion some not allowed.. Dang his mother in law... how old is this guy?? lol.. he's a wimp!!! ooppiess sorry!!

him saying you always online at nite makes me wonder does he listen to others than his own wife.. geez!!! that's the first red flag...
 
Freaky Cat said:
yes i knew him well from school.. and he had changed so MUCH over the years... amazing that i didnt see thru it in the beginning... guess i was in LOVE... argh... go figure that im a BLONDE... sigh!

douglas.. why u said how embarrassing?? i am not embarrassed that i married him for love.. but found out the hard way as he is momma's boy and everything else... i wouldnt give my pets up as i had them before i was with David ... and TJ, my son come first too as well..
I believe that getting to know the in laws before committing does it but sometime we have our own life to deal without their butt in the way... wow... No you aren't blonde lol... I think it was LOVE is BLIND... we all know nothing is guaranteed... well you were in love that's great, never forget that as he's a loser for not seeing what love is... don't blame yourself for anything.... it's HIM!!! you got so much love to give... keep on it...
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Freaky Cat said:
what i meant is that his mom came over to the house and told me that all pets MUST go and that it is her HOUSE but she doesnt live in it? only me and david? she made it sound like i am not welcome? thats why i moved out...

she had no right to tell me what to do.. david only.. she butted in our marriage.. thats whats its all about.... he told me when he married me that he love animals and said that i can bring my dog mac and 2 cats with me to his house.. that was last Jan when i married him.. he knew i have responsiblities to my pets and TJ of course..

.my sister asked me if i could take care of 2 kittens who are only few days old as the mother abandoned them so i took them home iwth me to bottle feed them.. yet his mom came over and told me all pets must go...why now?? why not in beginning??? not make sense you know??

i dont want his house as he is still paying for it...it is his house.. he got it long time before married me.. so he should keep it.. thats what i believe in...
thats not the only reason why we are separated.. there are trust issues as david doesnt trust me as he cut phone off. he only think of himself.. not me and TJ.. why didnt he discussed that with me in first place? he just up and called phone co and tell them to disconnect phone out of blue and i didnt know? what if something happened to me and TJ while he is working overnight? someone break in .. house got on fire? how will i call then?

so he is immature and act like a kid.. telling me what to do.. im an adult? i know? im not that dumb? hes controlling me.. and i wont put up with it.. oh yeah where is the love and affection? he always ignored me when he came home from work and straight to shower then zoom to bed.. i have to come to him all times to kiss him and talk to him.. he act like he doesnt want to talk to me.. but now i know why... i think he was never in love with me in first place...

why are u telling me not to have a second marriage but have a boyfriend instead? you have no right to tell me what to do nor anyone else.. its my business or other's business... if i happened to meet someone later on and be happy... if he ask me to marry him.. i might or not... but i m not going to not for A WHILE! maybe i will never marry again...it is just piece of paper? too much hassles, i think... so really i gotta focus on myself and TJ right now... and my mom of course... please refrain from telling me ok? Thank you..
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I guess he wasn't ready or prepare what goes with marriage like having the responsibility wow... he must always have his mom to do everything for him.. wow... should have moved into another home not depending on his mother grrr.... I wanna smack him HARD FOR THIS>. he's not a GROWN man obviously... never had kids so on.. he's really a dang LOSER!!! Thats awesome that you gonna take your time, love is patient... never feel you will never get married again cause of this happening.. My mom was the happiest woman at age 50 when she remarried... anything is possible... just next you will know what's is best maybe don't get married but can live together....
 
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