Legally Separated

I got separated in 2000, I filed for legally separation and divorce.. it cost me over 1,000 for the divorce due to having a child involve.. it took me 3 years to finally legalize the divorce. My ex husband kept hiding from my lawyer, not knowing where he was so finally put it in the legals newspaper for 30 days.. if he had responded to the newspaper.. we'd have to go to court.. but he never did.. so it was finalized in 2003. I've been with my new boyfriend in 2001 to now.. Now we're engaged...


Downing

I'm sorry you're going thru the separation. Its not easy especially having the kids to yourself. You just gotta be strong!!!! Your boys need you more than anything.. Maybe time will come when your hubby realize he misses you and the boys and he'll come home. That is if you want him to come home. I hope everything works out for the best!!! :hug:
 
downing said:
Pretty much He flew the coop

Yes, he did give all up just like that,,, even I stood by him through difficult time with his dad having the Alzhiemer's disease and now I just found out that his mother also have the Alzhiemer's disease too . His parents are in Assisted Living which is 30 miles from where I live.

My hubby just took off and lives out of state....leaving me to deal with the house, one income (he has no job and will be starting next week for 7 an hr), babysitter and bills.

I will have to get legal papers done such as legal separation, divorce, child custody, etc etc.. whatever it goes... it is all so complicated!!!! ugh. But good part, he is very supportive and willing to help me to deal the mess, he is here right now to help to fix the house, take care of boys before he starts the job. So I know he is not deadbeat dad at all. He is not like other dads takes off and go into war for legals.. he is very cooperative and I am bit glad for that part. We are taking it as adults, make compromises and working out kinks to make this work for the boys sake.

I will be ok. Thx! You guys rock.
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YEA THATS WHAT I THOUGHT!!! because i recall you telling us how frustrated you were when his sisters threw all of these responsibilites on him and have him being 100 percent responsible for his parents' care w/o contributing in to help him out.... so i am not surprised that as a result-- this took ITS TOLL and affected your marriage :(... i wish he would have just stand back, take a deep breath, relax and try to work it out with you instead of giving it all up cuz of BEING ALL EMOTIONALLY DRAINED OUT from BEING HIS FULL-TIME (100%) PARENTS' CARETAKER w/o his sisters' help... (sigh) NO OFFENSE... but his sisters are very selfish for doing this to him :ugh: :hug:

like one ADer said... who knows he might realize that he made a terrible mistake, miss you guys and want to come back home to you guys.. THAT IS ONLY if you want him to "BACK"... :hug:
HANG IN THERE! :)
 
Oh No, I´m truly sorry about this, Downing :hug: :(

I cant beleive he do that to you. :(

I´m agree with others that he will go back to you someday when he feel better. I guess it´s something do with his stress over his parents?....
 
I'm truly sorry 'bout your relationship went sour..

I understandable, your hubby wants move on and throw into his own new seed.
You'll be okay and be strong supportive for your children comes first... of course it really aching your heart and think about your children. No matter what.. Maybe he'll look back over his shoulder and condiser willing do anything change his mind and be there for your family again..

I've seen other divorce goes through hell but isn't easy "rough long haul walk".

Which Good thing, what I've seen AD'ers whoever still supportive you as friendship-moral... That was great!

*Chin up* you'll always great mother fits in your children needs to meets. :)
 
Downing,
I'm sorry to hear you're going through a miserable time. I hope in the end, everything will be amicable.

Hang in there and be strong for your boys. :)
 
:evil: yeah, we will hang in there.. ttrying to think to get away vacation with the boys. I have considered abt flying to Australia, new Zealand and Tasamnia.. but MONEYY!!! drats. I will just take Carribean instead....
 
downing said:
:evil: yeah, we will hang in there.. ttrying to think to get away vacation with the boys. I have considered abt flying to Australia, new Zealand and Tasamnia.. but MONEYY!!! drats. I will just take Carribean instead....
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good idea so u and boys need fun!
 
Geeze I'm so sorry to hear that Downing, :hug:....It's such a shame he had to throw away 7 years of marriage for what?....You're such a nice girl and I don't see why he had to walked out on you like that and leaving you with two small children, but I agree with the others here, you have 2 beautiful kids, and they do need you honey, hang in there girl...

I'll sure pray for you and your children, hope that things will get better for you all :(
 
sablescort said:
Legally separated is also a "cool-off" period before the divorce becomes final. It also gives the chance that both parties may change their mind about divorce.

......I'm gonna have to say this 'cause....

I got back together with the wife last weekend! It just happened when I called her to ask if I can see my daughter. She was like sure meet me at the gas station. Last Sat night I pick the kid up and talk for 15 mins before going home for the night with my daughter in tow. Next day I bring her back and talk with the wife in her car for 2 hours with the AC running due to a hot day.

Next thing I know I end up going to the hospital with the wife cuz my daugther had a visit to the doctor that morning last Tuesday. Spent the time talking what happened about things that led to the 8 months separation and the divorce filing. We took on the chance to work it out in the hospital cafeteria. After all we gotta try again for the girls' sakes.

Hope it is better the next time round for both of us and the girls....
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Yeah, Love isnt giving up ! unless you guys willing to work-out ! just give a chance... it isnt too late ! Best for children s needs...........
 
i am currently 5 months pregnant, my husband left me june 22nd, withdrew $550 dollars out of our joint account and left me 80 dollars, 59 for a doc appt and 21 for food, and as of august 1st he is going to be kicked out of the air force. we have only been married for 6 months, he hid his financial debt from me even when i asked as well as keeping his article 15 from me as well that he got while living in the barracks. his whole family has constantly bashed me and he has only told them constant lies and im in a situation right now where i wasnt able to continue working at my job for a defense contractor because i was pregnant and so i was relying solely on him for support. he blamed me for him getting a second job and the thing is he got that job back in october before we even met. he has constantly been a childish jerk and is going to be moving back to ny to run his dads business. but i am alone right now and have nothing else to do and im worried he is going to try and get custody of my little girl. anyone have any words of wisdom, by the way, im only 20 and he is 22
 
kiras_mommy said:
i am currently 5 months pregnant, my husband left me june 22nd, withdrew $550 dollars out of our joint account and left me 80 dollars, 59 for a doc appt and 21 for food, and as of august 1st he is going to be kicked out of the air force. we have only been married for 6 months, he hid his financial debt from me even when i asked as well as keeping his article 15 from me as well that he got while living in the barracks. his whole family has constantly bashed me and he has only told them constant lies and im in a situation right now where i wasnt able to continue working at my job for a defense contractor because i was pregnant and so i was relying solely on him for support. he blamed me for him getting a second job and the thing is he got that job back in october before we even met. he has constantly been a childish jerk and is going to be moving back to ny to run his dads business. but i am alone right now and have nothing else to do and im worried he is going to try and get custody of my little girl. anyone have any words of wisdom, by the way, im only 20 and he is 22
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Oh No!! I hope you get thru and Am sure that here Ader will post to help you!! GRR at your soon be ex husband !!!
 
TheXandieBoy said:
Hey, I wonder if anyone been experinced to have Legally Separated?

Well, I'm not know about it at all but heard about it.

But, i dont know if it's allowed to marry again after to having Legally Separated?
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As long as person are legally seperated.... cannot get a divorce.. then that person have to make some kind of agreement with their mate... file the divorce... then you can get a divorce....

some people do not believe in divorce due to their religions... so they can be legallly seperated... they cannot get a divorce unless they make agreement to file for a divorce..
 
kiras_mommy said:
i am currently 5 months pregnant, my husband left me june 22nd, withdrew $550 dollars out of our joint account and left me 80 dollars, 59 for a doc appt and 21 for food, and as of august 1st he is going to be kicked out of the air force. we have only been married for 6 months, he hid his financial debt from me even when i asked as well as keeping his article 15 from me as well that he got while living in the barracks. his whole family has constantly bashed me and he has only told them constant lies and im in a situation right now where i wasnt able to continue working at my job for a defense contractor because i was pregnant and so i was relying solely on him for support. he blamed me for him getting a second job and the thing is he got that job back in october before we even met. he has constantly been a childish jerk and is going to be moving back to ny to run his dads business. but i am alone right now and have nothing else to do and im worried he is going to try and get custody of my little girl. anyone have any words of wisdom, by the way, im only 20 and he is 22
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Seek a help... you can try Legal Aid.. if you cannot afford to pay a lawyer...
 
Phillips said:
Oh No!! I hope you get thru and Am sure that here Ader will post to help you!! GRR at your soon be ex husband !!!
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thank you so much. ive been going through a rough time, ive had my parents to help and the rest of my extended family on my side, and my brother and his wife. its sad that when my dad was asked for my hand in marriage he made my soon to be ex husband promise that he would take care of me due to the fact a year almost 2 years ago i was diagnosed with hypothyroidism while is was in navy boot camp and was separated due to that whilst in basic. i have to see my specialist every 6 weeks now that i am pregnant. ive gone to doctors appts and they had asked why my blood pressure was so high, then they figured it was due to stress because my husband couldnt control his spending and every time i turned around money was missing from the account. he has proceeded to tell me that i am going to be a bad mother and that my daughter doesnt deserve to live with me, but in the state of virginia the only way the father would get custody is if the mother was found incompetent and was basically a crack whore/drug addict, which im neither. i have too much to look forward to in life and i wouldnt mess it up for something as stupid as drugs. the other situation i currently have is that my ex-fiance' and i have been talking and he knows about everything that has been happening. he has told me that he wants to be there to help me take care of Kira, my daughter, once she is here. he says he wants to be a father figure to her and for her to know that she is truly loved by someone other than her dead beat dad. does anyone have any advice on what i should do about being with my ex-fiance'? (we were engaged for 2 years when we split)
 
I just got separated from my hubby. It is hard to believe that it didnt work out for both of us. it was fun while it lasted.... I know I will not get married ever again. i realized alot said it is only a piece of paper yet it left my heart in million pieces. jeez what a jerk!
 
In AR Legal Seperation costs as much as a uncontested divorce - but as posted earlier - you have to finalize the divorce before you can officially move on.

FC - first thing you need to do is to a lawyers office, tell them you wish to file a divorce petition to be served to your husband - usually within 24-48 hours. He has the option to contest it or not.

They will have 2-3 sessions with you and will cover things such as children, child support, any property you have bought since the marriage (such as vehicles, land, and or houses and in some cases, livestock as well) They will ask if there are any outstanding debts from either party or if there are any joint debts as well as any joint accounts, stocks, portfolios, etc. How much cash each party has immediately available to them and if either party is receiving or will be receiving any social benefits such as WIC , Food Stamps, ARKids 1st, Medicaid, Medicare, SSI, SSDI, etc. Also the lawyer will want to know if you are capable of sustaining yourself and your children, meaning can you hold down a job? Here in AR Deafness can get you by in most rural areas where the job market is small and you may not be able find a job that doesnt require you to hear, based on your transportation, locations, education, and skills. If you have been married for 10 years or more your husband may be required to pay you a set amount each month for living expenses meaning you should be able to maintain the same quality of living as you did while living together.

Within 6-8 weeks a court date is set, and the judge will grant the divorce.

Also put in the state paper as well as your local paper that you are no longer responsbile for any debts other than your own. Once the divorce is actually finalized the county will run a piece for usually 1-3 days that you and your husband have been granted divorce in state of Arkansas and a bunch of other legal gobble-dee-gook.

I got lucky and got an uncontested divorce, it was said done and over with in about 3 months.
 
If you have enough information regarding his behavior, then you should be able to keep your kid.

As for you being pregnant, don't let that stop you from getting a job. There are plenty of jobs out there that you can work at. :)
 
Freaky Cat said:
I just got separated from my hubby. It is hard to believe that it didnt work out for both of us. it was fun while it lasted.... I know I will not get married ever again. i realized alot said it is only a piece of paper yet it left my heart in million pieces. jeez what a jerk!
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Oh dear... I'm very sorry to hear about this.. You both get married few months ago. What a sad because I thought you both are wonderful couple and have same belief.


Oh my dear... I hope everything goes well for you and your son... If you really love him then save your marriage with him.. try to make your marriage work... What do you think of this?
 
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