Is it cheating?

I find it absolutely amazing how someone can ask for someone else's opinion (original post), then turn around and seriously degrade that person (previous post).
 
Deafbajagal, to each one's own. Important that you find a mate that is compatible with your personal beliefs. :D

For me, looking is fine - but I'd rather be treated like I'm still important in the relationship, and we'll get along beautifully! It is just human nature to 'look' - it does make a difference in how that is done, though. Some people theorize human beings are inclined to be poly in nature, although I'd personally rather to have a monogamous relationship.

It does take trust to strenghten a relationship regardless of the circumstances.. that's all it is to it.
 
deafbajagal said:
Here's another scenario.

A married (or someone who is in a serious relationship) spouse/partner has been invited by another person to have dinner with him/her. Suppose the spouse/partner is aware that they are having dinner. At the romantic dinner - expensive (more than what the spouse could afford) wine with candles and soft music. They talk in sexual overtones at the end of the conversation. There's no touching. Yet many people would call this cheating. Why? I'm just "looking" and "playing." I'd love to hear your answers on this one.
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That will lead to somethin' else by givin' a hint. It will turn each other on by thinkin' of somethin' they will might try to do somethin' together elsewhere. Tsk ...

That will probably cause a man or a woman suspicious, if that happens and it could violate either spouse's trust.
 
David said:
I find it absolutely amazing how someone can ask for someone else's opinion (original post), then turn around and seriously degrade that person (previous post).
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Read the post again. Where does it say I'm directly degrading you personally? (Rhetorical question). I'm simply responding by sharing my viewpoints on the subject matter. Anyone who knows me know I love and embrace different views...at the same time I expect them to listen and respect my views as well.

My view is not a popular one...I will get the slap of the label as being close-minded and insecure (which I do find degrading)...but I abide by my beliefs.

I do find going to strip clubs immoral. I do not see how they empower people.
 
Zaicate said:
Why are you pointing fingers at the WIFE? a husband could wrong as well. Just keep it in mind that it takes two to tango and if one continues to step on other's toe, then the said partner will wander off to admire other dancers (so to speak.)
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You can use it as oppose blame gender. pardon my thought. haha
 
I'm surprised dead-money hasn't shared his view with us. I would love to hear his opinion on this.
 
Look at it this way - why don't you go with him and have some fun as well? I brought along my gf's all the time. If he is ashamed to be seen around you, then it's definitely a sign the relationship is in trouble.
 
deafbajagal said:
Read the post again. Where does it say I'm directly degrading you personally? (Rhetorical question). I'm simply responding by sharing my viewpoints on the subject matter. Anyone who knows me know I love and embrace different views...at the same time I expect them to listen and respect my views as well.

My view is not a popular one...I will get the slap of the label as being close-minded and insecure (which I do find degrading)...but I abide by my beliefs.

I do find going to strip clubs immoral. I do not see how they empower people.
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Huh? I'm confused by the convictions of your morals as lumbingmi pointed out this, which you did not respond:

lumbingmi said:
If I recalled you in other threads correctly, you apparently to love to talk dirty, love anal sex, sex in hearse, sex during menstruation, and dont mind too much of sex. What else do u like? :hmm:
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Ironically, I know several Christian individuals that would be abhorred at the above......
 
PowerON said:
There are several reason that wife are doing wrong.

• Not horny enough
• limited sexual

There is point of view that wife would think it's cheating, because it's like open the present from woman.
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Really? Based on what? Your experience, other sources, or just pulled that from the air?

There are some couples that have a very healthy and active sex life but the husbands go to strip clubs. No correlation.
 
David said:
Seems to me that if you have a problem with your boyfriend/husband going to a strip club, then you have insecurity issues. He just wants to go and see naked women. How is that different from you fantasizing about other men?
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I agree with you. It is all about feeling secure in the relationship or trust. If one is not secure, then trust will be difficult.
 
deafbajagal said:
It is interesting that some of you are saying if a woman is saying she dislikes her spouse going to the strip club, then she has insecurity issues. I did a quick survey last year with 50 women and 50 men (spouses)...and most of the women said they didn't like it...and the men said they are just looking, so it should be okay. HOWEVER, when I asked the men how they felt about their wives going to a male stripper club of some sorts, they admitted they were uncomfortable with it. Double standards at its best.

And most of you are saying it is the woman who would have this issue...in my OP, I stated "your spouse" - however many of you jumped to the conclusion that the woman is the one who has issues with the man going. Hmph.

The "look but don't touch" concept is full of bull. Most women (I can't speak for men) won't admit that it does sting when their guys/partners look elsewhere.

Here's another scenario.

A married (or someone who is in a serious relationship) spouse/partner has been invited by another person to have dinner with him/her. Suppose the spouse/partner is aware that they are having dinner. At the romantic dinner - expensive (more than what the spouse could afford) wine with candles and soft music. They talk in sexual overtones at the end of the conversation. There's no touching. Yet many people would call this cheating. Why? I'm just "looking" and "playing." I'd love to hear your answers on this one.
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Yea, that's why I said it goes both ways. If my hubby is not comfortable with me going to strip clubs but expects to go himself, then we have a big problem but so far, no problems with that issue.
 
deafbajagal said:
I personally find that sick and morally wrong. When many married couples engage in this kind of activity, it weakens their marriages.

It is a shame I cannot share my Christain beliefs on this forum, because that would open up a wonderful discussion in here (for those of us who can handle the discussion without it going to a flame war).

It is not a matter of insecurity. It is a matter of what one person views as morally acceptable. Many strippers have sold their souls because for whatever reason, they have turned to selling their bodies. Look in their eyes...some of their eyes are so sad and full of pain. I've been to several strip clubs to interview strippers for a project. I cried at every interview.

How can a person use (even if it is just looking) another person's body for self-gratification? That is selfish and cold and wrong. Especially when many of these 18 year olds on that stage get off and do their Algebra homework because they are still in high school. It is much worse when the viewers have kids the same age as the girls and boys stripping. How can that be right? For those of you who have daughters...just think. They could be on that stage one day. Is that okay? The thought of my own daughters on that stage with people using their bodies to gratify sickens me.
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I have had friends who used to be strippers..they said they enjoyed it and made a lot of money from it. Even one used the money to put her thru college and she has a MBA. If some women or men dont mind doing it, then who are we to say that they are morally wrong? As long as they are adults and it is something that they enjoy doing?

If someone is stripping out of desperation (underage, money, sex abuse, drugs and so on) then yea, it is a different story.
 
Liza said:
Deafbajagal, to each one's own. Important that you find a mate that is compatible with your personal beliefs. :D

For me, looking is fine - but I'd rather be treated like I'm still important in the relationship, and we'll get along beautifully! It is just human nature to 'look' - it does make a difference in how that is done, though. Some people theorize human beings are inclined to be poly in nature, although I'd personally rather to have a monogamous relationship.

It does take trust to strenghten a relationship regardless of the circumstances.. that's all it is to it.
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:gpost: and that's how I see it too. I know that everyone sees this subject differently and I can respect that others may find it morally wrong or sickening as long as they respect my views.
 
Byrdie714 said:
Huh? I'm confused by the convictions of your morals as lumbingmi pointed out this, which you did not respond:



Ironically, I know several Christian individuals that would be abhorred at the above......
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The difference is that what I do behind closed doors with my significant other is sharing with him only...and it stays between us. Going to a strip club is cheating in my eyes. If anyone should be stripping, it's me on the pole with him as my exclusive audience. :naughty:
 
Grummer said:
apparently women are way dirtier than men, i cant remember where i read about it, but im some health magazines, it goes like 'looking into a woman's soul is like discovering how dirty they really are' now before yoy sprout that off to me or do some rants, have to bear this in mind, it wasnt the exact quote and also believe me I arent a liar, i did really ee this article and fully understood what I've read, its just a very obscure sort of opinion that you dont see often, whats more it was IN a very trendy GYM/health magazine (I actually read it while on the cycle machine in the gym!!) so those magazines cant be accused of sexism or anything because its a very gym/sex oriented (and not there no porn - just MAYBE ONCE A BLUEMOON, a flash of tits or pubes that's about it.)
but yah this particular article changed my outlook in quite diffuerent ways its like 'finally unerstanding that women are SEXUAL beings too they crave sex just as much and while on balance they DENY this just as much !! (dont give me this 'PMS is real' BS story. i know its real but its' not like 'for a whole 3 weeks they Never think about sex and one week they 'do' but they insist on their counts). So it is quite clear that all the while women denys, they also have a lot of leverage in culture and society about how to 'control' men , -often to THEIR (womens) own advantages to let men do the fighting while women do the picking of theiir (bed/sex)mates......

just my 2cents boy am i gonna be in trouble? *ducks* <wish there was a 'duck down' smiliey)
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What exactly did the article say? I just didn't understand, and want to make sure I do, otherwise my reply won't make sense.

A lot of that stuff in "health magazines" is pop psychology B.S. "Women being dirtier than men"....I hate to break it to ya, but neither sex is "dirtier" than the other. Society DOES do a wonderful job at creating the double standard that makes it "ok" for men to be more open about their sex lives than women. So when a 'study' finds that women are horny too (oh-emm-gee, end of the world!) people get all weird.

Anyways.
 
Hi SFShawn13,
yeah i hear ya, i did have had that crossed my mind all the time, as I study sociology (basely the Opposite of psychology!) and appreciate you saying how it creates this double standard, , but also not just 'the pop psychology' as you may have observed but also the less 'scientific' (i am ALWAYS leery of how they say "research found. or sciences says..') so i kind of do agree with what you in saying that the media are irresponsible bastards as they profit from all the dissemination and ultimately profits from it regardless of any suggestions were taken or not.

oh and sorry no i cant recall where, from but i will head off to the local gym soon and take a look around , maybe borrow it, id ask them nicely im sure they might let me, that is IF i find that particular article so i'd have it scanned and upload some of the contents, but i cant promise ok
 
Grummer said:
Hi SFShawn13,
yeah i hear ya, i did have had that crossed my mind all the time, as I study sociology (basely the Opposite of psychology!) and appreciate you saying how it creates this double standard, , but also not just 'the pop psychology' as you may have observed but also the less 'scientific' (i am ALWAYS leery of how they say "research found. or sciences says..') so i kind of do agree with what you in saying that the media are irresponsible bastards as they profit from all the dissemination and ultimately profits from it regardless of any suggestions were taken or not.

oh and sorry no i cant recall where, from but i will head off to the local gym soon and take a look around , maybe borrow it, id ask them nicely im sure they might let me, that is IF i find that particular article so i'd have it scanned and upload some of the contents, but i cant promise ok
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Cool, thanks for elaborating and snooping around for me :)
 
When I was married to my exh and I did go to strip club with my mom, sister and aunt. My exh knew about it and he let me go of course.

It is not cheating at all.

At that time my sister and aunt was also married and their husbands know about it too.
 
deafbajagal said:
The difference is that what I do behind closed doors with my significant other is sharing with him only...and it stays between us. Going to a strip club is cheating in my eyes. If anyone should be stripping, it's me on the pole with him as my exclusive audience. :naughty:
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You can always go with your significant other together to the strip club and get ideas.....:naughty:

Nothing wrong with that. :)
 
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