Is It Appropriate To .....

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Interesting link: Enjoy! ;)


Whether you're planning a wedding, or attending one, gift-giving plays an important role in the "big day." Here are some guidelines to help answer some questions on this part of the wedding process.

For the wedding guest

Wedding tips, marriage advice So you've been invited to a wedding? Are you wondering what to do about the somewhat obligatory gift? Most brides and grooms have registered their gift wish list with a local department or specialty store. Does this mean you must select from this list? Not necessarily. While it is nice to help the couple complete their flatware selection or informal place settings, remember that a unique gift can be just as welcomed. With the convenience of shopping online, you can now purchase, gift wrap, enclose a personalized gift card and ship a gift to the couple without leaving your home or office.

Some things to keep in mind:

* Do not take a gift to the reception. You cannot be guaranteed that the bride and groom will ever see the gift, as there is generally no security at the reception (with the possible exception being if the reception is at the home of the couple or a family member). Gifts can easily be damaged or misplaced. Remember, the last thing on the couple's mind that night will be gathering up gifts. It could easily be left behind.
* Send the gift to the address on the registry or the RSVP address on the wedding invitation.
* Etiquette says that it is a nice gesture to send a gift whether or not you plan on attending.

Who should receive a gift?

The Bride and Groom - One of the oldest wedding-gift traditions is the exchange of gifts between the bride and the groom. While this custom is followed by many couples, it is not mandatory. But why not give each other something that reflects your commitment? It's best to find something that is lasting, and if appropriate, engrave it with each of your initials and your wedding date. Ideas: A picture frame, a poem, an elegant desk clock, a collectible, jewelry.



Wedding gifts
 
RebelGirl said:
wow.. this has gone too far. Reba, you're basically thinking we must follow the rules of the etiquettes...
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I think I've said several times in this thread that no one must follow the rules.

Maybe that's the way things were back then...
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Back when? This morning? I got those links today, from current wedding websites. They aren't from 100 or even 10 years ago. They're from NOW, today.

...What Rules are you talking about? *looking around* The first time in my life, I've actually heard of "the rules of the etiquettes" but who cares about the rules?
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Civilized people who respect one another. I'm sorry that you haven't yet been exposed to them. You can find the rules in books or on websites. It's not hard. Etiquette rules were established to avoid all these conflicts like we're having today.

You'd think that's what we're suppose to do but nowadays its not like that anymore.
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That's why there is so much chaos and confusion.

I do know that when given an invitation, there's no "gimmicks or wannas". As for a wedding, she's got to give out more than 100 invitations and felt that it would be more appropriate to ask for "money" than gifts so they could go on a honeymoon. Not that she was going to ask for money, she's just asking not to give gifts but to pitch in some so they can go on a honeymoon. I would think its appropriate to announce no gifts given but to give "money" to them for their trip. that would be their wish, wouldn't it?
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I don't want to get into anyone's specific wedding plans. That's not my business.

In general, honeymoon trips are arranged and budgeted by the groom long before the wedding, so practically speaking, I don't know how wedding gifts could help with that anyway. :dunno:

I mean come on, there's no rules in the 2000's. Seriously.. its the book of rules.. and that's old.
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I'm afraid you've been sadly misinformed.
 
RebelGirl said:
wow.. this has gone too far. Reba, you're basically thinking we must follow the rules of the etiquettes.. Maybe that's the way things were back then but What Rules are you talking about? *looking around* The first time in my life, I've actually heard of "the rules of the etiquettes" but who cares about the rules? You'd think that's what we're suppose to do but nowadays its not like that anymore. I do know that when given an invitation, there's no "gimmicks or wannas". As for a wedding, she's got to give out more than 100 invitations and felt that it would be more appropriate to ask for "money" than gifts so they could go on a honeymoon. Not that she was going to ask for money, she's just asking not to give gifts but to pitch in some so they can go on a honeymoon. I would think its appropriate to announce no gifts given but to give "money" to them for their trip. that would be their wish, wouldn't it?

I mean come on, there's no rules in the 2000's. Seriously.. its the book of rules.. and that's old.


I agree that we should do it more appropriate by inviting them to come but to put down no gifts but money can be offered for their honeymoon.

CAN BE OFFERED.. its not a must. its just for those who's actually going to SPEND their money on a gift.. instead she just asked for money to be given. so I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Most of the time people do ask what they want or need.

Nowadays, there are sooo many items, technologies, electronics, accessories, etc that just about everyone has! She just reccommended to have money than any of the gifts.


I just got married and I asked not to give us any gifts but money also.. and they all understood because we want to go on a honeymoon and we have everything we need at home. We really don't need anything else.. so instead we got money.
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See She have good points. I agree with her.
 
Cheri said:
... Don't you want those couples to treasure and cherish the gifts you got them? showing your thoughts, your caring, and your respect. I would want someone to like my gift that I gave to them, because it's something they will treasure for years and years ahead....
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I'm a little puzzled. How does one "treasure and cherish" cash "for years and years ahead"?
 
More interesting links: Nofity the wedding guests about wedding couple's wishing list

What's the best way to inform all of our guests?”

Never fear, your guests want to know where you’re registered at and what you want and need. This is very helpful to them and generally welcomed. However, etiquette said in the past that you aren’t supposed to tell anyone! What a dilemma: You're registered, the guests want to now where and what items, and you aren’t supposed to tell anybody! Who said life was going to be easy? Initially guests would call relatives or friends of the engaged couple (if they knew how to reach them), hoping someone was present during registering or “overheard” where, and could discreetly pass this secret information on. To help get the word out, someone later decided it would be okay to put the registry info in with the shower invitation. Once this became acceptable, stores started handing out cards to stuff in the envelope with the shower invitation that told where the couple was registered. The problem in some cases was that this led to invitees getting a shower invitation “bulging” with cards from the various stores. Wouldn't you agree this is kind of tacky? Another problem is not everyone is invited to the shower, especially most out-of-town guests. Nor is it considered etiquette to place a stack of store cards in with the wedding invitation (although for second weddings and post wedding celebrations it is said to be okay). Don’t despair, there is a solution. The main purpose of this website is to help solve all these potential problems, instead of making more. By creating your free personal Wedding Announcement Page many things are solved at once. First, you will now have a lovely web page for all your guests to see. Here you can share how you two met, include a picture of the happy couple for all to see, and any other wedding information or last minute announcements. Then you will create an informative list of all the stores you’ve registered at (or other ideas), not an endless list of each item you registered for. This will give your invited guests a nice place to visit where you can share with them what they want to know in a very nice way, plus, you will always be able to make changes, update your stores and ideas list, or add any last minute details to your page whenever you wish. In addition, we will provide you with what’s necessary to print or obtain an acceptable card to be included with both the shower and wedding invitations.
 
Reba said:
I'm a little puzzled. How does one "treasure and cherish" cash "for years and years ahead"?
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Cash would go to their wishing goal list, if it's honeymoon or a brand new house, it's still a something they can treasure and cherish knowing you help made their dreams come true. ;)
 
Rebelgirl said:
you're basically thinking we must follow the rules of the etiquettes..
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No, You don't required to, because that is an old fashion way, this is 2007 a brand new year, a brand new change. I don't even follow etiquettes, how would guests know what you want? I rather to do it my way, give the couple what they want, their wish goals, even if it's money forward a dream, I shall help them with that dream. ;)
 
I didn't know there was an expiration date on good manners.
 
AngelWolf said:
Well, to me, not matter!!!! Really, that word "proper (sp?)" has bothered me so often that I can't stand it!! Just that, I can't understand why must formal for everything like those stars and Bush alike...etc... made me puzzles lately cuz why formal??? I mean, I have noticed a lot of ppl hate wearing formal but have to for that stupid thing.... Myself, I HATE FORMAL!!! I simple like to be more casual or more comfortable wearing that can make u ease... more relax and have fun (not that kind of wild one, no way, lol.. I don't appprove for that reason but formal??? Sheexh...) I am very sorry but I am not that kind for that sort of things which was so damn uncomfortable to wear things like that!! I love only causal anything that make u more comfortable, PEROID!!!!!!!! That is important that stupid formal!! So what Angel wants to know if it was bad manner or good manner abt what she like to have ONLY MONEY, that is her choice!!! To me I would rather take money than nothing at all!! Cuz some ppl been giving away some same items all the time that I have seen over my cousins' weddings as well as my friends......same thing all the time so best MONEY what is worth better than having two or 4 the same items, if u know my meaning....

That how I felt abt "formal and manner" I am very good manner and well respect but that bsides well point (not that way in english, I thinik??? sorry bad English!) but that is who I am and always been that way! I respect to no matter what they ask for or whatever! Sighs I am sorry but just that I am angry of having hearing abt formal drove me nuts!! I really hate it! Pls forgive me!! Do what u want is fine and that is prefect idea, Angel!!! That is ur life and that is ur wedding that is ur deciceion! sp? Sorry, my bad and stupid and dumb speller! :giggle:

Pls do not listen to me with my vent! But do what the best for u, honey... u have a right to ask.........BECAUSE TODAY IS DIFFERENT AND EVERYONE HAVE BEEN INGORE EVERYTHING THAT WAS RULE BY WHATEVER THAT IS!! We too have that same thing but also my bro and his wife was in common in law for more than 11 yrs so finally they called themselves as married under the God's Eye or something what mom told me lol.... so that was just simple one!! JUST SIMPLE.....FREEDOME, honey... that is what we are for... cuz that is our life.... sighs... things dont make like use to be.... I prefer just be common in law more frexable than sorry!! CUZ OF STUPID MONEY for diovrce whatever that damn spell!

Shheesh, pls forgive me... I am now stopping.... :( me thinkg I am :hyper: somehow!! :giggle: sorry!

Mods, if u think that is too.... umm whtever that word for it, u have a right to remove this post ok? Thanks!
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I am sorry and pardon me for saying that..

:cough: are you talking about s.. dress for bridal? AngelWolf huh? heh
 
Phfttt to PurrMeow!

PurrMeow said:
I am sorry and pardon me for saying that..

:cough: are you talking about s.. dress for bridal? AngelWolf huh? heh
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Very funny!! NO! u bad! :lol: But then could go without clothes then, eh??? haha
 
Defee said:
Yaay! I knew i read that somewhere! i think Roadrunner said
that somewhere that he wanted to take Angel to Hawaii
for their honeymoon too!
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Yeah, there's another thread about her wantin' to go to Hawaii as well. She mentioned that she wishes to go to Hawaii on her honeymoon after weddin'. Not just what DreamDeaf posted about " Game " thread. From what I recalled that Angel have always wanted to go to Hawaii since she was a child. That was one of her dreams.
 
CyberRed said:
Yeah, there's another thread about her wantin' to go to Hawaii as well. She mentioned that she wishes to go to Hawaii on her honeymoon after weddin'. Not just what DreamDeaf posted about " Game " thread. From what I recalled that Angel have always wanted to go to Hawaii since she was a child. That was one of her dreams.
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So, If we do get any money from the wedding then we can do whatever we want with it whether it toward the honeymoon or etc .:roll:
 
OK.. I can see where everyone is coming from here..

every country has their own customs.. whenther it be germany, the US, wherever.. And every country has separate rules of good manners.

Angel.. if you want money as gifts for your wedding, that's up to you.

Yes, there are rules of good manners, but ultimately.. it's up to the Bride and Groom how they want to do their wedding. Some people think it's rude to put "please give money instead of gifts" on an invitation.. and others may think it's rude to give money at a wedding... That's the person's personal opinion... Frankly, If the bride and groom don't have a registry, and they prefer cash, it's their choice.

And We're not going to change their minds... Who cares how they spend the money, it's a gift to them.

SO... Angel.. Do whatever you feel is right. it's your wedding, not ours.. We can give you an opinion, but the final decision is ultimately yours.
 
LuciaDisturbed said:
This is America, Liebling. Not Germany. Not Europe.
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For your information, I work together with Americans everyday for over 21 years.

A lot of Americans copy European custom because they are open mind to see sense what right or wrong. I see myself in this thread here that I'm not alone who consider bad manner and rude to attend special occassion without something in their hands. :)
 
Angel said:
I find Liebling's post very interesting, and I'm learning a lot about her country ,alot of you had said pretty much all you want, so I'm allow Liebling to have her say in this too....
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:ty: :hug:

I would like to share more about European custom but it's "off topic" thread... I will create a new thread to learn to understand where Americans come from as the same Americans will understand where Europeans come from as well. I will use your title but something different... perhap part II... It's not about wedding but general...
 
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