Interesting experience last night

[rain]

But change this situation.....instead of deaf these people only spoke spanish and FJ speaks both. Would it be unreasonable for the english speaking 15 yo to ask FJ to translate?

oh no no no you're crazy, you see by having an English speaking person ask someone who's bilingual to help translate is a DISGRACE TO THE SPANISH COMMUNITY. It is INSULTING to think people can't communicate via other ways. The correct thing for the bilingual person to do is to ROLL their eyes, SNICKER like a child, and RESPOND condescendingly because, ya know, that's how the world should be.

Agreed. There's nothing ruder than a hearing person who tries to take over a conservation when the deaf can do it for themselves. I think FJ did the right thing here.

How was the employee trying to "take over the conversation"?

Again people fail to see the problem I had. It's not that someone wouldn't interpret, it's the fact that they reeked of snobbishness at every opportunity.

I think what this whole thing boils down to is: Whenever there's a situation like this one, there's a great opportunity to educate someone.....educate one person at a time......it is hard to tell if that happened here.

Agreed.

An education into deaf culture as well as an education with manners.

Rain, rain go away, come again another day.

Yeah, it's raining right now.

You dont really mean that

Ok, you are right, hate was a strong word. Perhaps, general dislike would be a better term. I was just trying to point out to Rain that the idea that everyone here was my pal, and telling me the things I wanted to hear, was absurd. No one here would just ignore something I said or did that they didn't like simply becaue of "friendship".

So maybe, just maybe, the reason people would dislike you is because of your personality? hint hint

 

[faire_jour]

After thinking a minute.

Here is my problem with the incident.

The deaf community likes to say we are not disabled....we are a minority community. Cool I get that.

Deaf community clams ASL is just another language and should be taught in all schools like other languages. Cool, I agree.

But change this situation.....instead of deaf these people only spoke spanish and FJ speaks both. Would it be unreasonable for the english speaking 15 yo to ask FJ to translate?

Just my 2 cents here but it seems to me the world would be better off if we tried to work with each other.....both compromising rather than being quick to get our feelings hurt when things aren't done our way.

But they DID share a language, written English. They both used that language and could communicate using it.

 

[kokonut]

No, seriously, it's raining right now. My summer isn't over yet.

 

[faire_jour]

oh no no no you're crazy, you see by having an English speaking person ask someone who's bilingual to help translate is a DISGRACE TO THE SPANISH COMMUNITY. It is INSULTING to think people can't communicate via other ways. The correct thing for the bilingual person to do is to ROLL their eyes, SNICKER like a child, and RESPOND condescendingly because, ya know, that's how the world should be.



How was the employee trying to "take over the conversation"?

Again people fail to see the problem I had. It's not that someone wouldn't interpret, it's the fact that they reeked of snobbishness at every opportunity.



Agreed.

An education into deaf culture as well as an education with manners.



You dont really mean that



So maybe, just maybe, the reason people would dislike you is because of your personality? hint hint

The employee WAS trying to get me to take over, so they wouldn't have to communicate with the Deaf person, that is the point you are missing. They didn't want to have to deal with the "inconvience" of the Deaf family. They thought that I shoud rescue them and the Deaf person. They Deaf family is perfectly capable of reading and writing, as is the employee, why should I be involved at all? What about a child? Should they be forced to interpret if they can hear as well? Where is the line? They have a SHARED language, written English. Why not use it?

 

[rain]

But they DID share a language, written English. They both used that language and could communicate using it.

Fix your attitude, you're a child in a grown woman's body. Learn how to deal with people like a normal, sane human being would.

Again, it's not that you wouldn't interpret, it was your response/snickering/eye rolling that turns people off.

No, seriously, it's raining right now. My summer isn't over yet.

NOOOO

you were implying *I* go away and for that, we're not friends anymore

 

[rain]

The employee WAS trying to get me to take over, so they wouldn't have to communicate with the Deaf person, that is the point you are missing. They didn't want to have to deal with the "inconvience" of the Deaf family. They thought that I shoud rescue them and the Deaf person. They Deaf family is perfectly capable of reading and writing, as is the employee, why should I be involved at all? What about a child? Should they be forced to interpret if they can hear as well? Where is the line? They have a SHARED language, written English. Why not use it?

Oh give me a break, you're being ridiculous.

The employee wasn't trying to TAKE OVER, she asked if you'd interpret, it was your lame, childish attitude that you NEED to fix ASAP. Tell her "sorry, I'd love to, but the mother requested I not" - simple as that

Manners 101 <- use it

 

[TXgolfer]

But they DID share a language, written English. They both used that language and could communicate using it.

And in the spanish example they could have shown pictures of Pizza toppings and had them point...... But it was EASIER to have someone interpret.

 

[faire_jour]

Fix your attitude, you're a child in a grown woman's body. Learn how to deal with people like a normal, sane human being would.

Again, it's not that you wouldn't interpret, it was your response/snickering/eye rolling that turns people off.



NOOOO

you were implying *I* go away and for that, we're not friends anymore

"we're not friends anymore"???????????? Who here is the child??

A sane person who understands the Deaf community would NOT take over the communication for a Deaf adult. They are perfectly whole people who can communicate with hearing people and do, every single day. THAT is the point you need to learn. I am the mother to a Deaf child and I do not take over HER communications and she is only 7, why would I do to to an adult?

 

[somedeafdudefromPNW]

This is like debating over the Bible. Put 20 people in the same room, and give them one verse... and all of them will have dramatically different opinion over what those words mean. See why one cannot always rely on written anecdotes?

None of us were there in person. I can see where you are coming from rain, but since most of us have a bias of being Deaf most our lives, we're not interpreting it in a bad light since it's common for people to think one thing in their head, but say another.

 

[faire_jour]

Oh give me a break, you're being ridiculous.

The employee wasn't trying to TAKE OVER, she asked if you'd interpret, it was your lame, childish attitude that you NEED to fix ASAP. Tell her "sorry, I'd love to, but the mother requested I not" - simple as that

Manners 101 <- use it

Do you notice that almost every single Deaf person here says that I was in the right to NOT interfere? Isn't it possible that you do not understand the cultural mores at work in this situation?

 

[somedeafdudefromPNW]

Oh give me a break, you're being ridiculous.

The employee wasn't trying to TAKE OVER, she asked if you'd interpret, it was your lame, childish attitude that you NEED to fix ASAP. Tell her "sorry, I'd love to, but the mother requested I not" - simple as that

Manners 101 <- use it

The employee wasn't trying to take over. The employee was trying to get fair_joure to take rein. You don't understand how often people will belittle the Deaf and reduce them to a state of being a child and expect hearing friends to speak for us.

I know-- people did it all the time with a hearing girlfriend-- they expected her to translate everything I say, or vice versa-- and she didn't even know ASL! Employees weren't taking over in the situations I've been in; they were expecting the girlfriend to take over the situation FOR me.

 

[rain]

"we're not friends anymore"???????????? Who here is the child??

I was responding to kokonut JOKINGLY

A sane person who understands the Deaf community would NOT take over the communication for a Deaf adult. They are perfectly whole people who can communicate with hearing people and do, every single day. THAT is the point you need to learn. I am the mother to a Deaf child and I do not take over HER communications and she is only 7, why would I do to to an adult?

Don't you get it?????

I never said you had to take over...you keep trying to create this ridiculous straw-man and make it appear as if I think deaf people could not handle themselves.

I said it was your childish attitude and response to the situation that turns me off. There is a right way and a wrong way to approach everything, your condescending attitude was the WRONG way.

Don't want to interpret? okay, that's your prerogative...my point is: don't be a snob about it

This is like debating over the Bible. Put 20 people in the same room, and give them one verse... and all of them will have dramatically different opinion over what those words mean. See why one cannot always rely on written anecdotes?

None of us were there in person. I can see where you are coming from rain, but since most of us have a bias of being Deaf most our lives, we're not interpreting it in a bad light since it's common for people to think one thing in their head, but say another.

Definitely, I see what you're saying.

 

[faire_jour]

The employee wasn't trying to take over. The employee was trying to get fair_joure to take rein. You don't understand how often people will belittle the Deaf and reduce them to a state of being a child and expect hearing friends to speak for us.

I know-- people did it all the time with a hearing girlfriend-- they expected her to translate everything I say, or vice versa-- and she didn't even know ASL! Employees weren't taking over in the situations I've been in; they were expecting the girlfriend to take over the situation FOR me.

Exactly.

 

[rain]

IF ANYONE could quote me even REMOTELY implying that FJ had to interpret I will give you $100.00

That was NOT my problem with the situation, people are just hopping the bandwagon and jumping to conclusions.

 

[Tousi]

(music in the background) Rain, rain go away. Come again some other day.....

 

[kokonut]

I see nothing wrong with FJ's "attitude" in this situation. Plus, I wasn't there in person and so I cannot say conclusively but in retrospect...so what? Who gives a fig? What is remarkably humorous is to see someone make a mountain out of a molehill regarding someone's supposed "attitude" and get all worked over.

Time to lighten up and have a beer or two.

 

[faire_jour]

IF ANYONE could quote me even REMOTELY implying that FJ had to interpret I will give you $100.00

That was NOT my problem with the situation, people are just hopping the bandwagon and jumping to conclusions.

I said "You can write that down for her", if that is really your problem, I don't get it....

The employee wanted me to interpret for her to make her life easier. It has happen to me a million times. As soon as people find out I'm hearing they start referring ALL questions to me instead of the Deaf person. wasn't going to put up with it, and neither shoulld any Deaf person.

 

[rain]

okay FJ you did nothing wrong, the whole reason people end up 'hating' you has nothing to do with you (because you're flawless) and everything to do with them.

Good luck in life

I see nothing wrong with FJ's "attitude" in this situation. Plus, I wasn't there in person and so I cannot say conclusively but in retrospect...so what? Who gives a fig? What is remarkably humorous is to see someone make a mountain out of a molehill regarding someone's supposed "attitude" and get all worked over.

Time to lighten up and have a beer or two.

Well, I'm not angry (see how I responded to you).

But it's funny, we're on a discussion board, we have discussions. We make 'big deals' out of insignificant things every day, ironically people feel the need to comment negatively on the one's they're not involved with

 

[kokonut]

I said "You can write that down for her", if that is really your problem, I don't get it....

The employee wanted me to interpret for her to make her life easier. It has happen to me a million times. As soon as people find out I'm hearing they start referring ALL questions to me instead of the Deaf person. wasn't going to put up with it, and neither shoulld any Deaf person.

Right. And that person has an insecurity issue, too.

 

[Tousi]

I said "You can write that down for her", if that is really your problem, I don't get it....

The employee wanted me to interpret for her to make her life easier. It has happen to me a million times. As soon as people find out I'm hearing they start referring ALL questions to me instead of the Deaf person. wasn't going to put up with it, and neither shoulld any Deaf person.

I do the same thing(after I have opened my mouth and they try to latch on to me) except I am HoH. I politely explain and deflect and that works well.....