Interesting experience last night

[rain]

but the girl was rude to go around the mother in that situation.

LOL, hold on hold on....

The logic is this....the 15 year old girl who's board had said "If you need anything, let us know!" comes into the room and realizes that one of the guests is hearing (and presumably fluent at ASL). So then the 'evil, rude' employee go 'around the mother's back!' and dares to ask the hearing guest: "Can you ask them if they want the pizza boxed up?"

You find that "rude"? Wow....

Wirelessly posted

they had written back and forth just fine UNTIL the employee figured out that i could hear. She then wanted to talk to ME instead of the mom, because it was easier for her, not easier for the mom. I made it clear that she should write, and then the mom caught my eye and we both smiled.

tell me what i should have done instead.

Employee: "Can you ask them if they want the pizza boxed up?"
FJ: "Hi, sorry, I think the mother wanted everything to be written"

At least, that's what a customer who isn't snobbish would have done. I'm not saying you had to help, nor am I saying you went against the mother's request, I said your attitude was bad and your approach was childish.

 

[faire_jour]

Wirelessly posted

so, because i said "you can write that" instead of "she wants it written" i'm childish?

and yeah, i do think she was acting out of laziness. She figured that she could stop "working" to communicate and go back to her comfort zone of speaking to a hearing person if she talked to me, and i wouldn't have it.

 

[TWA]

This is exactly what I read it to mean...... for explaining anyway. Maybe it's different and some people understood the scenerio differently because we have lived it? I have worked in customer service too and been the one laughed at by deaf families for not understanding (long before I started losing hearing) but never took it personal like this whole thread went. Yeah we all get rude customers... its life. You tell the funny stories to your friends (for instance here) without the threat of condemnation, and move forward. Because that helps us get on with life. Or at least we hope thats how it works. I do not think F_J would have intentionally been directly rude to the girl... but the girl was rude to go around the mother in that situation. She may not have known it was rude to do so, but it was pointed out and next time she think about it. Maybe? I know I did as a teen working.......

and well said.


Rain... good grief. Just give it up. *SMH*

 

[deafgal001]

Interesting thread. I wanted to chime in to ask what if Faire was just another parent who didn't know the host? Wouldn't that create an awkward feeling if the employee asked her to interpret? And isn't it rude to be spying on people to see who is hearing and who isn't?

I think it is rude that the employee did not keep the interaction between the two of them. The host made it clear in the beginning what type of communication she wanted, and they needed to stick with it. No adding or substracting unless the employee have a good reason why she can't write.

The girl is 15 years old. When it come to young kids, they need to be educated before we start rolling our eyes. Some people just don't realize. I know she should know better, but this happen way too many times so we have no choice but educate them.

Faire, I'm sorry you have to deal with explaining yourself, sometimes it is best to nod and smile and move on.

take care.

 

[rain]

haha okay, I'm done

FJ you did everything perfectly and weren't rude at all, keep telling yourself that

I suppose if you want an honest opinion, you'll take it from people who aren't your friends and who wont agree with you for the sake of agreeing with you.

Best of luck in life

 

[faire_jour]

haha okay, I'm done

FJ you did everything perfectly and weren't rude at all, keep telling yourself that

I suppose if you want an honest opinion, you'll take it from people who aren't your friends and who wont agree with you for the sake of agreeing with you.

Best of luck in life

You don't get it at all....these people HATE me!!! They are not my friends!

 

[TWA]

You don't get it at all....these people HATE me!!! They are not my friends!

We don't hate you. We just believe in tough love.

 

[Bebonang]

We don't hate you. We just believe in tough love.

That is correct. We are having a hard time trying to explain to you about our deafness and you are sooooo stubborn that you refuse to understand our deaf perspective. No, we did not hate you, but felt and still feel a little tire out when you keep insisting that you are right and we are wrong. You have not been in our shoes to know our experiences. But your topic is what you did the right thing for the Mom, but not the way you worded when you talk to the 15 years old waitress or the party host (not sure if that is her job title for the birthday party at the restaurant). So bear with us and you are still here and not give up. So we are still debating with you if you keep up with the Why? and the CIs.

 

[rain]

You don't get it at all....these people HATE me!!! They are not my friends!

lies

lies

 

[somedeafdudefromPNW]

Wirelessly posted

Read the rest of her posts.

Very seldom we don't debate; this is one of the few where the community backed her instead of disagreeing and turning the topics into full-blown spats.

 

[KristinaB]

You don't get it at all....these people HATE me!!! They are not my friends!

I don't think anyone here on AllDeaf "hates" you. We just don't always agree with your assessment on things, but as for me personally, I don't "hate" anyone. I have a lot of people that I really detest and dislike, but you are not even in that category. We just disagree on a lot of things and I have found that I agree on a few things with you.

 

[Bottesini]

You don't get it at all....these people HATE me!!! They are not my friends!

Actually, I am your friend. You made me stop crying and laugh one day when a waitress had been unbelievably creepy to me.

 

[deafskeptic]

you did do what you should have done IMO. I was thinking the employee WAS trying to take the easy way out after she found out you could hear even before you posted this. RAIN leave FJ alone on this she did the right thing here. i despise it when someone tries to bypass me and go to someone else when they get tired of dealing with me not hearing. that employee probably learned a lesson too.

Agreed. There's nothing ruder than a hearing person who tries to take over a conservation when the deaf can do it for themselves. I think FJ did the right thing here.

 

[faire_jour]

Actually, I am your friend. You made me stop crying and laugh one day when a waitress had been unbelievably creepy to me.

Ok, I would say that Bott likes me (which makes me happy ) and PFH thinks I'm interesting, but that there are plenty of people here who wish I would disappear I guess Rain hasn't read the threads where I have been told to "Shut the f*** up" and that I am "audist" and that I'm trying to ruin the Deaf community, that I don't respect Deaf people, I'm trying to control them, that I want all Deaf people to become hearing, and on and on....

 

[Frisky Feline]

hate is a strong word and a deep emotion. i don't have that kind of feeling against you, FJ.

 

[faire_jour]

hate is a strong word and a deep emotion. i don't have that kind of feeling against you, FJ.

Ok, you are right, hate was a strong word. Perhaps, general dislike would be a better term. I was just trying to point out to Rain that the idea that everyone here was my pal, and telling me the things I wanted to hear, was absurd. No one here would just ignore something I said or did that they didn't like simply becaue of "friendship".

 

[Tousi]

I think what this whole thing boils down to is: Whenever there's a situation like this one, there's a great opportunity to educate someone.....educate one person at a time......it is hard to tell if that happened here.

 

[TXgolfer]

So, my family went to a birthday party for one of my daughter's friends last night. My husband and I were the only hearing people at the party. There had been some kind of mix up with the reservation (we were at a Chucky Cheese type buisness) and they were writing back and forth, trying to figure it out. At the same time the employee said "Wait a minute, we have someone who signs..." and goes off to find that person. (We all, of course, roll our eyes because that means that someone here once learned how to fingerspell from Sesame Street) So, the mom said again, "No, let's just write and finish this".

So, we finally get everything settled and into our party room. They write on the wipe board "If you need anything, let us know". So, the party goes on, and the board works well, they get soda and pizza, kids are having a good time. About an hour later, the party host figures out I can hear :roll: She walks up to me and says "Can you ask them if they want the pizza boxed up?" and I say back "Yeah, you can write that and she'll answer you." The party host looked dumbfounded, but wrote it on the board.

The mom and I just laughed! I am sure the poor 15 year old has no idea why I wouldn't speak and make this easier for her, but if the mom had wanted me to interpret, she would have asked me (she has in the past) and really, she grew up totally oral, so if she had wanted to speak, she would have done it herself!

Communication is a 2 way street.....why would you only be willing to interpret for one direction. ie....only if the deaf person asks.

Luckily this was not my experience at NSAD

 

[kokonut]

Rain, rain go away, come again another day.

Yeah, it's raining right now.

 

[TXgolfer]

After thinking a minute.

Here is my problem with the incident.

The deaf community likes to say we are not disabled....we are a minority community. Cool I get that.

Deaf community clams ASL is just another language and should be taught in all schools like other languages. Cool, I agree.

But change this situation.....instead of deaf these people only spoke spanish and FJ speaks both. Would it be unreasonable for the english speaking 15 yo to ask FJ to translate?

Just my 2 cents here but it seems to me the world would be better off if we tried to work with each other.....both compromising rather than being quick to get our feelings hurt when things aren't done our way.