How do you cope with Separation/Divorce?

Hey JeepGirl i know it's not easy for you right now but but i m glad that you are still little time move on and forget abt soon be ex hubby..but He is one huge make mistake leave you like that since He is don't love you anymore. It's betta for you let him go.. and important be there for ur daughte when she need you around :) and i m sure everythings will smooth as ok for you and take time till you will feel great in ur life ;) :hug:
 
LovelyBlkGal said:
Hey JeepGirl i know it's not easy for you right now but but i m glad that you are still little time move on and forget abt soon be ex hubby..but He is one huge make mistake leave you like that since He is don't love you anymore. It's betta for you let him go.. and important be there for ur daughte when she need you around :) and i m sure everythings will smooth as ok for you and take time till you will feel great in ur life ;) :hug:
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Thank you, LBG. :) :hug:
 
JeepGirl said:
I know this can be too personal to talk about it but I'd very much would appreciate to have alittle advice. I was married before and I didn't love him like I should've. so it was an easy way out. this is my 2nd marriage and we've been together 8 years. My husband finally said he's leaving. I said why? he said because enough is enough. We argue alot due to not wanting to understand each other's feelings. I tried to understand him but everytime he tried to talk about it, its always something I've done wrong. when I talk to him about my feelings, I would say I would appreciate it you help me clean the house and that I'm working full time too and I feel like i have to do everything, work, take care of my daughter, clean the house, feed the animals, do errands.. so on. he gets offended. things like that has blown out of proportion and became a big deal. I'm not saying its all his fault.. I have my faults in this. anyhow... We were very much in love all the way. at least i thought he was. then finally he said he didn't love me that way anymore, and has been feeling that way since a couple of months. I was shocked and my first thought was he's seeing someone else. Well, a week went by, I of course begged him to come home, begged him to talk to me and so on. He never came. 2nd week went by, I was getting better, starting to accept that he's not coming back. then last night, I went to a wedding. there he was. how he looked, he was so handsome. then it all came back to missing him more. so i asked him how he was feeling.. he said he didn't love me anymore and walked away. He was out there having a blast and flirting. I was standing there drinking beer after another and to find i became really drunk. well, i left.


here i am.. i'm miserable.. weak at the moment, sad, mad, feel like going crazy. What or How do you make yourself feel better? How do you move on? I'm desperate! help?
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It's hard. Even knowing millions have been where you are does not help.

For me I rely on God as much as I can. If this is not possible, you need to be around friends as much as possible. If this is not possible, you need to get counceling. You can not and should not go at it alone.

The good news: eventually things get better!
 
It's hard. I know personally. I was married, but in the end I was the one who left. As I look back on it all I wonder why I even got married. It wasn't my idea, it was his, and in the end, he was lieing to me everyday of our marriage. It's a very hurtful situation when you thought you had something and it's over. It huruts, and in the end, you really have no choice but to just move on.

Getting divorced is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. In January I was diganosed with such severe hearing loss that I needed hearing aids, in March I got them, in April I was laid off, in June I left my husband, in August I lost so much hearing in my right ear I only can wear one hearing aid. It's hard, it's really hard. It's life though, and in the end, the pain will fade, life goes on and you have to keep going to make it through it all.
 
IndieVisible said:
It's hard. Even knowing millions have been where you are does not help.

For me I rely on God as much as I can. If this is not possible, you need to be around friends as much as possible. If this is not possible, you need to get counceling. You can not and should not go at it alone.

The good news: eventually things get better!
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I've done all except for counseling.. tomorrow, I'm calling one and definitely getting help. I've hit rock bottom! I'm the person that lets myself get down so easily and I fall into the black hole and its hard getting back up. I did this before and that terrifies me. I do not want to fall into that hole! So I'm getting counseling and I'm going to get better. Maybe not now but I will. thank you for posting.
 
Makesupwords said:
It's hard. I know personally. I was married, but in the end I was the one who left. As I look back on it all I wonder why I even got married. It wasn't my idea, it was his, and in the end, he was lieing to me everyday of our marriage. It's a very hurtful situation when you thought you had something and it's over. It huruts, and in the end, you really have no choice but to just move on.

Getting divorced is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. In January I was diganosed with such severe hearing loss that I needed hearing aids, in March I got them, in April I was laid off, in June I left my husband, in August I lost so much hearing in my right ear I only can wear one hearing aid. It's hard, it's really hard. It's life though, and in the end, the pain will fade, life goes on and you have to keep going to make it through it all.
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I've been with him 6 and a half years before we got married. I refused to get married before because I couldn't and wasn't ready. sure enough, the marriage didn't last. I should have just stayed UNmarried. That's just a sign for me that I will not get married again.

I actually thought we were "in love" throughout all these years. We've always done everything together. Well, i guessed it wrong. I was blind.

I feel your pain. I can imagine its a struggle for you. I hope you're doing well.


I've been thru the same kind of struggle especially with my self esteem. My mom died in 2005. She was my bestfriend. My uncle was in a motorcycle wreck and was in ICU for 3 months 3 months later after my mom died. then 2 months later my friend died in his car delivering pizzas, the next day my other friend died from heart failure (her roommate found her dead while she was on the computer) then in 2006 my great grandmother died in Feb. then the year went back to "normal" I was coping with deaths and doing better. then in 2007, 2 weeks before xmas, a woman walked out in front of me while I was driving and hit and killed her. I couldn't work for 2 weeks. That took me a long time to recover and to accept that it was not my fault. I blamed myself for months! I just couldn't forgive. Now this. its a roller coaster with emotions. all this has just made me feel like I'm such a curse. I didn't deserve to be here on this earth. so on. So now i'm going to get counseling. Its time. Then maybe I'll start to confide in myself and knowing I can love myself again.
 
JeepGirl said:
I've done all except for counseling.. tomorrow, I'm calling one and definitely getting help. I've hit rock bottom! I'm the person that lets myself get down so easily and I fall into the black hole and its hard getting back up. I did this before and that terrifies me. I do not want to fall into that hole! So I'm getting counseling and I'm going to get better. Maybe not now but I will. thank you for posting.
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Hang in there! It will get better and you will find some one new!

Feelings come and go. Like the weather, or a storm. We can't let our feelings get the best of us, but some times they do.

I've been where you are at, and know the degree of pain you must feel. For me I felt I was all alone. My wife left me for another guy. We all worked together too. It was hell. But in my case some thing happened to me that made even that pale in comparison. I will share it with you.

Before my wife left me, our only son who was 14 years old died in a drowning accident. There is no greater pain I can assure you. I was in shock and a zombie for years. So when my wife left me for another guy less then a year after that, it was not a big deal. It was, but I had no more tears left.

I battled depression for the next 2 years even becoming suicidal! I know the feeling.

Now my story is different then yours yes, but the feelings are the same no? The pain, the sorry, the guilt, shame, loneliness, despair, hopelessness?

You will get better! But those feelings you feel, remember they come and they go, just like the weather! be strong, it can be a long cold winter, but you will make it! What kept me going is I kept thinking some where out there is a person I will meet and we will be happy. We have not met yet, but we will. You will too! If I can get throw my struggle, so can you!
 
IndieVisible said:
Hang in there! It will get better and you will find some one new!

Feelings come and go. Like the weather, or a storm. We can't let our feelings get the best of us, but some times they do.

I've been where you are at, and know the degree of pain you must feel. For me I felt I was all alone. My wife left me for another guy. We all worked together too. It was hell. But in my case some thing happened to me that made even that pale in comparison. I will share it with you.

Before my wife left me, our only son who was 14 years old died in a drowning accident. There is no greater pain I can assure you. I was in shock and a zombie for years. So when my wife left me for another guy less then a year after that, it was not a big deal. It was, but I had no more tears left.

I battled depression for the next 2 years even becoming suicidal! I know the feeling.

Now my story is different then yours yes, but the feelings are the same no? The pain, the sorry, the guilt, shame, loneliness, despair, hopelessness?

You will get better! But those feelings you feel, remember they come and they go, just like the weather! be strong, it can be a long cold winter, but you will make it! What kept me going is I kept thinking some where out there is a person I will meet and we will be happy. We have not met yet, but we will. You will too! If I can get throw my struggle, so can you!
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first of all, I'm very sorry about your son. I can't imagine. I can't feel that kind of pain. I have an 11 year old daughter and she's my only child. I can't even imagine what you're going thru.

I'm glad you understand what i'm going thru. I know alot of people do too. You're right, it makes perfect sense.. its like the weather. this whole world is confusing.
 
well, Its OFFICIAL......


chris admitted to me that he has a girlfriend and the girl he's dating is the one I knew he liked. I suspected that for a while and I was right. so there. He definitely had an affair.

how cool is that!?

sucks:(
 
JeepGirl said:
well, Its OFFICIAL......


chris admitted to me that he has a girlfriend and the girl he's dating is the one I knew he liked. I suspected that for a while and I was right. so there. He definitely had an affair.

how cool is that!?

sucks:(
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Oh wow, I'm sorry you had to find out about this even though your gut feeling told you otherwise.

As for coping the separation, divorce and the breakup - The process itself is never easy. As others said, In time it will heal only if you allow it to. Your heart may be broken but your spirit isn't.
 
Jolie77 said:
Oh wow, I'm sorry you had to find out about this even though your gut feeling told you otherwise.

As for coping the separation, divorce and the breakup - The process itself is never easy. As others said, In time it will heal only if you allow it to. Your heart may be broken but your spirit isn't.
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Thanks, Jo. you're right, my spirit isn't broken.
 
That's good comment, Jojo. I couldn't have said it better. JG, I'm so sorry that your husband is having affair:( My ex husband had affair too and I found this out about two weeks after we separated. This thread is about you, so I won't make a long story about mine. I truly feel for you, JG. Take your time for your heart to heal. Is there a hobby that you had been postponing in last couple of years? Perhaps taking on that hobby will be a good therapy for you?
 
JeepGirl said:
well, Its OFFICIAL......


chris admitted to me that he has a girlfriend and the girl he's dating is the one I knew he liked. I suspected that for a while and I was right. so there. He definitely had an affair.

how cool is that!?

sucks:(
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no it is not cool OMG
i am sorry :hug: i had this suspection myself too at same time you did you not alone :)
just hang in there jeepgirl ok i am here for you remember just pm me or anything ok.

don't let him break your spirit smile keep your spirits up.
 
JeepGirl said:
well, Its OFFICIAL......


chris admitted to me that he has a girlfriend and the girl he's dating is the one I knew he liked. I suspected that for a while and I was right. so there. He definitely had an affair.

how cool is that!?

sucks:(
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:hug: Jeepgirl, I can feel your pain its not cool. Its just a season it will pass as time goes on. Hang in there girl!
 
JeepGirl said:
well, Its OFFICIAL......


chris admitted to me that he has a girlfriend and the girl he's dating is the one I knew he liked. I suspected that for a while and I was right. so there. He definitely had an affair.

how cool is that!?

sucks:(
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Remember Ivanna Trump's motto, "Don't get mad, GET EVERYTHING."

Also since he has been having an affair--I would get tested for any STD's and such. And if it comes back positive--you can have him arrested for transmitting communicable diseases. :)

And then--he would have to be Bubba's bit** in the Big House. :)
 
Exactly what I went thru with the split from my ex hubby. I had a strong gut feeling that he was cheating on me hence the reason for surprise announcement of wanting a divorce out of the blue. I kept begging him for the next 3 months to be honest with me...he kept saying no, he wasnt seeing anyone but my gut feeling kept telling me that I was right. At a party, the girl that he was seeing confronted me and told me that they had been seeing each other for a month before he told me he wanted to split up and that I needed to stop trying to work on my marriage. She was my friend so my jaw went :jaw: Now u know why I wanted to kill someone. It was the ultimate betrayed from both of them..him for lying to me for 3 months and her who was supposed to be my friend.

Women, ALWAYS listen to your gut feelings about your men cuz usually they would be right on the spot!

I am so sorry that it has come to this point, Jeepgirl. Yea, it sucks...really really sucks, doesnt it? Only time would heal the pain.

As for never getting married agian, I said the same thing and look at where I am ..married again. LOL!

Hang in there...dont despair. Life should only get better after you have hit your lowest point.
 
Peachy Lady said:
That's good comment, Jojo. I couldn't have said it better. JG, I'm so sorry that your husband is having affair:( My ex husband had affair too and I found this out about two weeks after we separated. This thread is about you, so I won't make a long story about mine. I truly feel for you, JG. Take your time for your heart to heal. Is there a hobby that you had been postponing in last couple of years? Perhaps taking on that hobby will be a good therapy for you?
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Yes, I have always wanted to fix my photo albums. i have a box full of pictures from the last 8 years that I needed to fix up. I also want to start running. I'm considering doing that soon! I can't believe i put my life on hold for him. :roll:
 
moonflower said:
no it is not cool OMG
i am sorry :hug: i had this suspection myself too at same time you did you not alone :)
just hang in there jeepgirl ok i am here for you remember just pm me or anything ok.

don't let him break your spirit smile keep your spirits up.
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thank you moonflower.
 
Byrdie714 said:
Remember Ivanna Trump's motto, "Don't get mad, GET EVERYTHING."

Also since he has been having an affair--I would get tested for any STD's and such. And if it comes back positive--you can have him arrested for transmitting communicable diseases. :)

And then--he would have to be Bubba's bit** in the Big House. :)
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I'm working on that.. getting tested... i don't think that would be necessary because there wasn't any (sex) in the last 2 and a half months. but yeah.. to be on the safe side, I should.
 
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