How do you cope with Separation/Divorce?

Jeepgirl,

Hang there!, You have to be strong and be there because you have a daughter. Your daughter needs you the most around "MOTHER". Don't let your guy get you down more or upside down.. Just ignore him all the way and think about your bright future where will come good deeds stored for you.
I know you can do it... *wink*

This guy is stupid and amusing for nothing wasted being no love for you a year.. Wha.. heck is that? Not worth..

Take your time until right time find RIGHT GUY in your life one day.
Who love you and understanding. Whoever guy have experience like you.. would be suitable match loving "TLC"

Wishes you have a wonderful and think positive bright side.
Hugs~
 
deafbajagal said:
I think all of us girls should get together for some serious ice cream overloaded with calories that would make Jenny Craig scream and watch sappy movies while bitch about men who are no-good-for-nothing jerks. That always makes me feel better.
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Gemma said:
Can I bring my bottle of wine? Wine is perfect for whiners! :) :giggle:
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That definitely sounds good! I'll bring the beer too. Heck, Let's paint the town red! :lol:
 
TweetyBird said:
JeepGirl,
i was there for u when u need talk me on pager, i always listen u and remmy i told u that u need be strong for u and ur daughter, ur daughter need u MOST more than men do! i know u need him back but seem to me that he not come back to u.. so u need stand up urself and be strong woman i know u are! so u can be WIN and beat Chris that u not weak anymore and u will be strong lady.. trust me.. :)
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I know you were there for me! I really do appreciate it! I honestly don't want him back now. he did ask me last thursday that he wanted to meet me somewhere and have a talk. and I said no. then thursday afternoon, i finally told him I'd meet him. well, I waited and he didn't show. well, i'm doing much better and i'm having fun now actually. :)
 
Well, its been a few days now since I haven't posted.

Lets see where I can begin..


Last Wednesday, I had counseling, it was okay. just my first time and it was alittle awkward.
Thursday, went to a family doctor. she put me on some meds. boy, that night I slept like a baby! felt so good!

However, Thursday morning, Chris texted me all day long wanting me to meet him somewhere so I thought I should. So I waited for him and he never showed. I asked him why he did that. he said he got scared. then I said what was this all about anyways. He said he wanted a chance. then i said no. its over between us. he said why? I said it would have been different if you hadn't run off with another woman, I would give it a go. but you did run off with another woman.. no thanks. he got all upset and really wanted to tell me everything. then i said there will be no more meeting. that was the end of it. didn't hear from him over the weekend.

over the weekend, I had an awesome time! it was like wow! I'm free to do what i want and partied like a teenager.. lol seriously, i'm kidding about the partying.. but I hung out with my friends at a bar and watched a football game then went over to a friends house and watched UFC fighting. it was really nice and relaxing. then Sunday i stayed home and helped my roommate move all of her stuff in from a storage. it sure was a nice feeling and very relaxing. that tells you guys, i'm doing better! i still got a long way to go.. going thru process of the divorce and stuff. that i'm not looking forward to.



thank you all for the support.. I couldn't answer everyone's post since I got behind.

oh.. Lieb... Jaci is taking it pretty hard but we're working on it together. what hurts her the most is he doesn't text her everyday. she wants to hear from him everyday and he just doesn't do that. that's what bothers her the most. but we're working on it.
 
Jeepgirl i am glad that you are doing great i am happy that you are feeling better smile
hugs
 
wow, I'm not surprised about Chris like what I said at earlier that he don't understand the difference between "in love with you" and "love you" and suspect that he still have some feeling for you when he tried to aviod you at your friend's wedding.

Accord your description about him sound that he is a coward... (Please accept my apology if those word "coward", I use about him is an offend to you). It look like that he realized that it's sex, not love when he was with another woman as he escaped from problems and family...

wow, you stood up... He learn his lesson after what he treat you badly like that... It's good that you don't make him easy..... As what he said that he want to tell you everything but he should say this to you an early instead of last Thursday...

I'm glad that you positive your life and what you doing is great...

I'm sorry to know about Jaci :(. It's unfair what and how he did to Jaci because Jaci know him and love him as her own father... :(
 
Liebling:-))) said:
wow, I'm not surprised about Chris like what I said at earlier that he don't understand the difference between "in love with you" and "love you" and suspect that he still have some feeling for you when he tried to aviod you at your friend's wedding.

Accord your description about him sound that he is a coward... (Please accept my apology if those word "coward", I use about him is an offend to you). It look like that he realized that it's sex, not love when he was with another woman as he escaped from problems and family...

wow, you stood up... He learn his lesson after what he treat you badly like that... It's good that you don't make him easy..... As what he said that he want to tell you everything but he should say this to you an early instead of last Thursday...

I'm glad that you positive your life and what you doing is great...

I'm sorry to know about Jaci :(. It's unfair what and how he did to Jaci because Jaci know him and love him as her own father... :(
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You're right, he's a coward. that's all i can say.


jaci does love him and misses him alot. we just gotta do it together to make it work and do what's best for her.
 
Jeepgirl.. good to know ya and Jaci are doing well and working on things to make it all better a bit more... keep it up and do remmy, we can give ya support and let us know if ya need anything, even some chatting to keep company and more.. I'm sure ya will know what to do...
 
Glad that you doing GREAT and have FUN on ur own as long make you forget abt ur ex hubby ;) and wish you come to my homestate so we can hang out as single club! :giggle: jk
 
I'm glad to see that things are slowly improving for you. Just take it one day at a time! :)
 
JeepGirl said:
However, Thursday morning, Chris texted me all day long wanting me to meet him somewhere so I thought I should. So I waited for him and he never showed. I asked him why he did that. he said he got scared. then I said what was this all about anyways. He said he wanted a chance. then i said no. its over between us. he said why? I said it would have been different if you hadn't run off with another woman, I would give it a go. but you did run off with another woman.. no thanks. he got all upset and really wanted to tell me everything. then i said there will be no more meeting. that was the end of it. didn't hear from him over the weekend.
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Kudos to you girl!! :hug: I would have done the same as you if I was in that position. What he did was beyond unforgiving, there's no way you could forget what he did to you, because there's no way I could. Once a cheater will always be a cheater--this is what I believe. ;)

Chris should have kept his pants on and wait before jumping into another relationship quick. What a dumb move he made.
 
Cheri said:
Kudos to you girl!! :hug: I would have done the same as you if I was in that position. What he did was beyond unforgiving, there's no way you could forget what he did to you, because there's no way I could. Once a cheater will always be a cheater--this is what I believe. ;)

Chris should have kept his pants on and wait before jumping into another relationship quick. What a dumb move he made.
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I know. he's a coward :(
 
last Week wasn't a good week for me. So much went on and now I'm just trying to do one day at a time.

I'll just have to get back on that later.
 
Ive been through a divorce myself but I had to be the one to put my foot down and say enough was enough.

the marriage was hell from the get go. my ex was lying to me about everything from day 1. It got down to the point that he quit paying the utilities and tried to convince me that my own mother had them turned off to spite him. For 6 months we had only electricity. We had no gas for the stove and no hot water. Everynight I had to take myself and my DD to my parents house to get us a bath and do laundry. Cooking was out of the question and because I was left to pay all of the other expenses such as the cell phones, day care, gas for the vehicles, formula, diapers, and whatnot for my DD on my $300/wk pay at the poultry processor I wasn't eating properly simply because there was no money left for food. I would end up having to pay for him a meal everynight because his check was being garnished or he wouldn't keep a job. There were times I would end up going 2-3 days without a meal.

Then I reached a point that I could not take it anymore. I ended up ingesting an entire bottle of Tylenol PM at once, the next day I found myself in the hospital and within one point of needing a blood transfusion as everything was shutting down. I spent a week in the hospital. Instead of my ex taking the time to take care of my daughter while I recovered, I was hooked up to IV pumps and still having to do all of the mom duties. I recall that I had my daughter in one arm, pushed the IV pump around the room with my foot and was using the other arm to make her a bottle in the sink in the room using the hot water. The male nurse who was a co-worker of my ex at that time saw me and his jaw dropped in disbelief, next thing I know he was down the hall in the lab giving my ex a chewing. And instead of my ex taking my DD home with him when he got off work, no, he lied and said he was going to work an extra shift while I was in the hospital, when he was really going to another woman's house everynight during my stay while he could get away with it.

Finally about 4 months later my ex was arrested for filing a false police report and ended up in jail and tried to tell me that it was a mix up. I talked to the local authorities and turns out my ex had a criminal record dating back to 1999 and this was 2003-2004! I had no idea. I went to visit him one last and final time at the jailhouse and I flat out told him that when he gets out, don't come home. I went back home and I stayed with my parents for a couple of days as we didnt have any gas at the house for heating and I was going to get the utilities changed into my name. I called the electric company and the lady said - 'Honey, the utilities are already in your name!" I was like WTF?!?!?! I was at work and come to find out my ex-husband had bootlegged the electricity from September 2003 all the way to February 2004! The only reason they never came to shut it off is because the local guy that does that knew there was an infant in the home and he told his bosses and they said to just wait until warmer weather gets here then cut them off. They had been keeping tabs on how much we had used and I was left with a $2,500 light bill I could not pay. I spent 3-4 hours on the phone trying to get them to waive it given the circumstances as my ex had obviously stole my SSN to get the electricity turned on in my name without my permission. They finally told me that they would waive the $2,500 as long as I did not return to that address, so basically I lost my house because of a $2,500 electric bill my ex had run up and left me to pay (which I couldn't).

I finally got the money to get the divorce official that summer and in October 11 2004 I became a single mother. I have never received not one child support payment and my ex has never bothered to send my DD anything from him personally.

I became extremely depressed after my divorce and went deep into alcohol abuse and sleeping around. Then finally one day I just got up and I decided I wanted more. I went back to work full time in 2007 and now I feel like that at least Im on the right path to something good. Ive been able to return to school with a stroke of luck, but I still have a lot to accomplish.

Even though it has been nearly 5 years since the divorce, I still find it hard to find myself as lovable because every guy Ive been with since has been a loser, almost like its my destiny to be a single parent forever. Some days are worse than others.

You would think that I would have found some friends here locally to bond with over, but that isnt true. Ive turned gay because of my failed relationships with men and Im realizing that I tend to draw closer to women than men. Seems like every man Ive been with has been abusive in some way or has simply used me for his own gain or personal pleasure.

Even though I am in a 'couples' sunday school class at church, I get very little benefit from it, and I feel that I would not fit appropriately with the college and career class as it is geared towards recent high school grads.

We all as a human race desire to have a family whether it is a traditional family or a non-traditional family. We just have that desire and need to be surrounded by people who love and support us unconditionally and make us feel beautiful inside. Some of us have that and some of us don't.

For those of us that don't we need a :grouphug: and someone to tell us we're beautiful.

"If all the world were perfect, I would only want to see your scars." - Darren Hayes, 'So Beautiful' 2005 Columbia Records
 
JeepGirl said:
last Week wasn't a good week for me. So much went on and now I'm just trying to do one day at a time.

I'll just have to get back on that later.
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Come up to Ohio; we'll go out and get drunk, then you would say "Chris who?" How about it? :mrgreen:
 
Damn Dixie! what a quite story there, it reminds me so much of my ex who's the father of my son. He's more like that in every way. Who needs a bum. You did the right thing. :hug:
 
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