do you spank your child?

[jillio]

Speaking for myself, I don't support spanking at all. My parents spanked me with a belt and all it did was create rage and fear.

According to families stories, I was a bad child. BTW, I didn't know I had ADD till I was 27. I have wondered for years if I had ADD though because when I read about those kids with it, they always reminded me of myself.

It is truly unfortunate that for a number of years, children with ADD/ADHD were labeled as problem children, and had to carry that stigma throughout their childhood, and deal with the scars that remain in adulthood.

 

[jillio]

My niece is also bipolar and my brother and my sister in law are trying to figure how to deal with that. She has missed her HS graduation because of it.

Dunno about my sister in law's family but there's no history of bipolar in my family though there's a long history of depression on both sides of my family.


I'm not bipolar myself though I did think I was bipolar for a while. Others who have worked with bipolars have told me I'm clearly not bipolar.

No one thought I had ADD because I was a rubella child when I was growing up and they thought I had brain damage because of it even though I've been tested for it and there's no sigh of brain damage via MRI or CT.

But it is possible that the rubella somehow affected the brain chemistry to create the ADD, without actually creating lesions that would show on the MRI or CT scan.

 

[deafskeptic]

But it is possible that the rubella somehow affected the brain chemistry to create the ADD, without actually creating lesions that would show on the MRI or CT scan.

I wouldn't discount that though I think it's unlikely.

However, given that stories that I've heard about some members of my family I have reason to think it's hereidity. As far as I can tell, there's no evidience of rubella causing this.

 

[Reba]

Excuse me please, I only questioned Cheri since Cheri started to compare children´s accident with child abuse as a form of abuse.

What I made a comparison over hurt by hand is the fact because Cheri said "spanking only leave a red temporary mark... "

Yes, the some partners do raise women or men because they want women or men do what they want. If they don´t do what they want then they get hurt.

Well, excuuuuuuuse me for breathing. :roll:

I still stand by my post that Cheri never said or implied anything about accepting men disciplining women like children.

Excuse me, please. I asked her in manner way either I understand her correct or not because she wrote 2 sentences together. Is my question to her misrepresenting? This is a false accusation of you. Anyway, it´s her, I am asking, not you.

Cheri's statement about shaken baby syndrome was very clear.

 

[jillio]

I wouldn't discount that though I think it's unlikely.

However, given that stories that I've heard about some members of my family I have reason to think it's hereidity. As far as I can tell, there's no evidience of rubella causing this.

You're right....unlikely. Just suggested a possibility. Its likely to be more of a heritary thing if you know of a family history.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

huh? I thought you never spanked any of your children cause you believe spanking is a form of an abuse?


Now, I'm lost

huh? I thought you know me and my posts at my thread of 2005 because you was there.

My post # 6
http://www.alldeaf.com/378884-post6.html

And then your post # 7
http://www.alldeaf.com/378888-post7.html

And my post # 44
http://www.alldeaf.com/380562-post44.html

I'm disagree to blame for not spanking turn the children into crimes but due to parents's unlove, unattention, neglection, miserable family background etc.

I remember how behave my eldest son was when he received his first spank from me. Oh dear! He become volience and wild which different from my 3 years younger son who never receive spanking from me. I never have problem with my younger son than eldest son. It took me years to deal with my eldest son to improve since no more spanking from me.
You has a right point that each children have different. That's how the tips work on me great without spanking on my children like what you said that "Dare to Discipline" work on you great.

Anyway, I spanked my oldest son before child physical send my son to therapy. It´s therapy who stopped me and gave me tips. I stopped to spank since I took therapy´s tips. I never spank my younger son after happened with my oldest son and therapy.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

According to families stories, I was a bad child. BTW, I didn't know I had ADD till I was 27. I have wondered for years if I had ADD though because when I read about those kids with it, they always reminded me of myself.

It´s sad that you learn that you had ADD when you was 27 years old. I do beleive you but... Honestly, I am total surprised to learn about this. I had the feeling that some parents neglect to focus their children´s behavior? or it could be that they didn´t know but the kindergarten or school.? Normally the Kindergarten or teacher are Expert and must have known kind of behavior the children have and would tell the parents what they suspect about children´s behavior and advised them to check with child physican for test before send them to therapies. ?

I really don´t understand.

I noticed my son´s hyperative when he was over 6 months which different as other babies, I was involved at family club. I check with Child Physican. He said that its normal and every babies are not same and then said please go to see him again few years later. I did - He confirmed my son had ADD when he was a little boy.

Speaking for myself, I don't support spanking at all. My parents spanked me with a belt and all it did was create rage and fear.

Yes I know what you mean. I am the same boot as you. It´s create fear and can´t communicate open with parents...and also step-dad as well... I can´t because I fear they might hurt me again after learn the truth from me... that´s why I rather to tell lie them to save myself.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I still stand by my post that Cheri never said or implied anything about accepting men disciplining women like children.

Excuse me, this is a false accussation of you. I never said anything to accus Cheri for saying about accept men disciplining or whatever but questioned her. This is a false statement of you.

Anyway, why didn´t you said anything to Cheri that I never said or implied anything about children´s accident as child abuse?

Anyway, spanking do not raise a child but positive of discipline.

No matter what, partners and children get hurt by their partners and parents´ hand. It does the same thing.

Cheri's statement about shaken baby syndrome was very clear.

Cheri answered to my question. What´s your problem then?

 

[Angel]

huh? I thought you know me and my posts at my thread of 2005 because you was there.

My post # 6
http://www.alldeaf.com/378884-post6.html

And then your post # 7
http://www.alldeaf.com/378888-post7.html

And my post # 44
http://www.alldeaf.com/380562-post44.html

Oh? Wow, I'm getting OLD , forgive me my dear Liebling, my memories isn't so good these days.

 

[Reba]

Excuse me, this is a false accussation of you. I never said anything to accus Cheri for saying about accept men disciplining or whatever but questioned her. This is a false statement of you.

Whatever. ADers are smart and they can read your posts and see it for themselves, no matter how you try to spin it.

Anyway, why didn´t you said anything to Cheri that I never said or implied anything about children´s accident as child abuse?

Because Cheri was right.

Anyway, spanking do not raise a child but positive of discipline.

So what do you say about the millions of adults who say they were spanked as children and grew up fine? They aren't a bunch of hateful criminal rebels.

When I was spanked as a child I didn't like it but I never hated my parents for it, never wanted to become a criminal, and didn't become a rebel. Same with Hubby, and my relatives and friends.

No matter what, partners and children get hurt by their partners and parents´ hand. It does the same thing.

That is such a bizarre analogy. Just because parents spank misbehaving children doesn't mean they abuse each other.

Cheri answered to my question. What´s your problem then?

Like you always say, "Is it forbidden?" Can't I give my opinion like anyone else? My opinion was that you made unfair implications about Cheri's posts.

She corrected you, so everything is OK now. I'm OK with that.

 

[Cheri]

Anyway, spanking do not raise a child but positive of discipline.

No matter what, partners and children get hurt by their partners and parents´ hand. It does the same thing.

I don't know where you find that information from that partners spanks their partners in the same kind of discipline as parents would discipline their child.

Adults do spanking onto each others because they like it, it's part of their fantasy activity. On the other hand it has nothing to do with this thread about children discipline. Let's please stay on topic shall we?

Anyway children being spanked does not cause serious physical harm does not include reasonable and age-appropriate spanking to the buttocks where there is no evidence of serious physical injury.

so therefore I feel that spanking is a reasonable disciplinary, not an abuse.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Oh? Wow, I'm getting OLD , forgive me my dear Liebling, my memories isn't so good these days.

Don´t worry, I do forgive you...

Yes, it´s normal that we forget sometimes... Yeah, not you but me, too... WE getting old... Yes, I do forget sometimes but it´s good when anyone fresh my memory

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Whatever. ADers are smart and they can read your posts and see it for themselves, no matter how you try to spin it.

Really? You said this yourself, not me. Question is harmless and accusation is harmful. It´s not my problem if you don´t want to see it.

Because Cheri was right.

wow, I am beginning to see that you play favoritism. It tell alot. You denied that I never say anything about children´s accident as a child abuse. I say no more further. Your post is good enough to prove yourself that you play favoritsim.

So what do you say about the millions of adults who say they were spanked as children and grew up fine? They aren't a bunch of hateful criminal rebels.

What you beleive is fine. I cannot say anything against your view because it´s your POV.

Anyway we entitle our own POV and beleive what we see, period.

When I was spanked as a child I didn't like it but I never hated my parents for it, never wanted to become a criminal, and didn't become a rebel. Same with Hubby, and my relatives and friends.

It´s okay for you but perhaps not others.

That is such a bizarre analogy. Just because parents spank misbehaving children doesn't mean they abuse each other.

This is your opinion.

Like you always say, "Is it forbidden?" Can't I give my opinion like anyone else? My opinion was that you made unfair implications about Cheri's posts.

I do not see that you made your opinion to quote my post but attacked my post to defend Cheri. If you disagree with my post toward Cheri then you are welcome to quote my post to tell me what you think INSTEAD of defend Cheri against me.

Don´t play innoncent because you OFTEN made unfair posts yourself. Quit to play innoncent to claim that you had an opinion about my post.

She corrected you, so everything is OK now. I'm OK with that.

Quit to play innoncent. You DID read Cheri´s answer to correct my question then 30 minutes later then you attacked me for her. *shake my head sadly*

Anyway, can we get move on and then go back to this topic.?

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I don't know where you find that information from that partners spanks their partners in the same kind of discipline as parents would discipline their child.

Adults do spanking onto each others because they like it, it's part of their fantasy activity. On the other hand it has nothing to do with this thread about children discipline. Let's please stay on topic shall we?

I do not made :topic: because its about spanking.

Child psychologist Theresa Whitehurst said, "When a husband does it to a wife, the very same act is considered domestic violence. And when you hit a child, what's the difference?"

ABC News: Jail Time for Spanking Kids?

Anyway children being spanked does not cause serious physical harm does not include reasonable and age-appropriate spanking to the buttocks where there is no evidence of serious physical injury.

so therefore I feel that spanking is a reasonable disciplinary, not an abuse.

This is your opinion as the same as I have mine. You beleive what you learn and I also beleive what I learn as well.

Anyway, you beleive that spanking is a reasonable disciplinary which I doesn´t. I beleive that spanking could cause damage physically, emotionally and mentally to a child. I was spanked as a child and I really didn't learn anything from it. All I learned was to fear my parents!!!

Anyway it doesn´t mean that you are wrong that´s just because we have different views to use form of discipline on our children. I know we have different mentality and grow up in different cultures what and how we see and beleive.

This link support my view.
Spanking Undermines Discipline - Loving Alternatives - by Pam Leo

 

[Cheri]

wow, I am beginning to see that you play favoritism. It tell alot. You denied that I never say anything about children´s accident as a child abuse. I say no more further. Your post is good enough to prove yourself that you play favoritism.

It has nothing to do with favoritism, You said on the previous page that "When you get hurt then is an abuse" the word 'hurt' can be misleading, children do get hurt by accidents they did upon themselves, so is that an abuse? this is what I was pointing out to you, sometimes you have to be careful how you wording out your words on a post because it can lead the confusing of others included myself.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

It has nothing to do with favoritism,

*shake my head sadly* It´s Reba, I am referring to because she is the one who attacked my post. Now I see myself that you defend Reba because Reba defended you. *shake my head sadly*

You said on the previous page that "When you get hurt then is an abuse" the word 'hurt' can be misleading,

I do not see anything that I made a misleading post and also do not see anything that we talked about children´s accident when I quoted to question GarnetTigerMom. What I questioned her is not :topic: because we talked about spanking subject.

http://www.alldeaf.com/877084-post28.html

http://www.alldeaf.com/877415-post39.html

children do get hurt by accidents they did upon themselves, so is that an abuse? this is what I was pointing out to you, sometimes you have to be careful how you wording out your words on a post because it can lead the confusing of others included myself.

You are the one who brought children´s accident up to compare with child abuse because I said "hurt" :roll: You should know the logical when GarnetTigerMom & I quoted each other and talk about only spanking, not children´s accident.

 

[Cheri]

*shake my head sadly* It´s Reba, I am referring to because she is the one who attacked my post. Now I see myself that you defend Reba because Reba defended you. *shake my head sadly*

Hun, I'm not even defending Reba, nor do I see her attacking you? I do have an opinion of my own, she was only stating the obvious. please don't take it personal.

You are the one who brought children´s accident up to compare with child abuse because I said "hurt" :roll: You should know the logical when GarnetTigerMom & I quoted each other and talk about only spanking, not children´s accident.

Instead of saying "When you get hurt then is an abuse" You should have came across with a better sentence as "When you got spanked did it hurt? if yes, then that's an abuse" see the differences? there's no point of arguing about it, not everyone sees the same as you.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I can see that you deny my post, Cheri. You know an exactly what GarnetTigerMom & I quoted each other over that subject "spanking", not children´s accident because it doesn´t relate this thread here. We do not made :topic: post, period.

It has nothing do with her opinion because she DID read your post to correct my question and 30 minutes later then attacked me that´s because she don´t like my post toward you. This is so. If she disagree something then quoted my post to debate with me in neutral way instead of defend you. This is a difference.

 

[GalaxyAngel]

~ PEACE FLAG IS HERE PLEASE... *SWING THE FLAG*

 

[Reba]

wow, I am beginning to see that you play favoritism...

Let me get this straight.

If you side with someone, that's called "support."

If I side with someone, it's called "favoritism."

If you have noticed, I often support and applaud people who make good points even though we normally don't agree. Also, there are times when some of us who normally agree will disagree. It has nothing to do with "favoritism."

What you beleive is fine. I cannot say anything against your view because it´s your POV.

Anyway we entitle our own POV and beleive what we see, period.

It's more than just my belief. Other ADers have also posted how they were spanked as children and they didn't grow up angry, rebellious and criminal.

I also believe what I see, and I don't see millions of people becoming angry, rebellious criminals just because their parents spanked them.

It´s okay for you but perhaps not others.

Take a poll, and you'll find out.

This is your opinion.

I don't think I'm the only person who finds it very insulting to imply that people who spank their children are also spouse abusers.

I do not see that you made your opinion to quote my post but attacked my post to defend Cheri. If you disagree with my post toward Cheri then you are welcome to quote my post to tell me what you think INSTEAD of defend Cheri against me.

Sister, if you think that was an attack, you haven't seen me in action.

Quit to play innoncent. You DID read Cheri´s answer to correct my question then 30 minutes later then you attacked me for her.

You have no idea when I compose my posts. I often start a reply, get interrupted or need to look up something, and then finish it later, then submit.

Anyway, can we get move on and then go back to this topic?

Go for it.