Dad update

Vorsia said:
Ocean your Dad is a fighter it looks like praying always may god be there for you give you strength to get through this ...you will have many blessing for being there for your dad...
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Thank you, Vorsia. :)
 
Oceanbreeze said:
Things are literally changing second by second. Dad has decided to give chemo a try. I'm not sure if this is a good idea, but he's lucid and can make decisions. So, for right now, he's being treated. His cancer cannot be cured; nor is the prognosis any different with treatment (life expectancy is still about a month), but it's what Dad wants. He is still coming home on hospice and we will take each day as it comes.

His expected discharge from the hospital is some time in the next day or so.
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He's still in denial. It's happening too fast for him. My father in law was the same until about the last week of his life.

I think it may make it easier for you father psychologically to cope.

I will be thinking of your family.
 
Bottesini said:
He's still in denial. It's happening too fast for him. My father in law was the same until about the last week of his life.

I think it may make it easier for you father psychologically to cope.

I will be thinking of your family.
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That's probably true, Bott. The denial is definitely there, though. Hell, even I am still in a weird denial state regarding what is happening, so I can only imagine the level of denial Dad is in. Not only that, but he is on a lot of pain medication, so lucidity is relative. But, he made a decision for 1 dose of chemo. Then, they we will bring him home. I am thinking "What good will one dose do; except make him sick?" But, it's what he wants.

Thank you, Bott.
 
Oceanbreeze said:
Thank you all!



I have a request for all of you. Please keep your loved ones close and love them as much as you can. You never know what life may throw at you. I can honestly say to you all that of all the possible ways for him to leave this world, this was NOT how I saw this playing out. Esophageal cancer is really a cruel way to leave this world. It truly is. :(
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Of course I do love my closes one right now since my mother passed away last year and premature twins 2 months ago. I look at life differently now than before. I see people come and go, I say hi to them and never know when they will be gone or me gone. Live for today, I am still in grieve so I feel for you with your dad and I remembered my dad, it was ugly dying so was my mother too last year. Horrible way to die. I just wish all of us died in sleep with no pain or illness but it did not happen for all of us. I pray your father will not suffer so much and I can not tell you what at the end of stage of life till you witnesses it. For me it was awful to see both my parents this way. God bless you and your family, hanging there and be strong.
 
I am so, SO sorry Oceanbreeze.

For what's happening now and for what's ahead :(
If I may offer one advice, it's let him have even more pain meds that he is actually Rxed. To heck with lucidity, do not let him suffer. ever.

lots of hugs

Fuzzy
 
OB, just wanted to chime in here and let you know I'm thinking of you and will be praying for you and your family.

I hope your dad does go to hospice and hope he will find a gentle support there. When my brother was dying 20 years ago, he spent the last two months or so of his life in hospice, and it was truly a blessing for everyone. He had the care he needed, and it took some of the strain off my mother, who had turned her life upside down to take care of him for about 6 months or so. Hospice workers have the experience and skills to be so gentle and supportive to the patient and to the families, as well.

You and your family are in my thoughts as you go through this difficult time.
 
Thank you all!

Just an update: He's HOME!!!! Came home on Saturday. He has decided to fight the cancer even with such a grim prognosis. The aim is NOT to cure the cancer (not curable now), but to shrink the tumor (s) and hopefully make him more comfortable. He is doing chemo ONLY, and it's on a month to month basis. He will be reassessed by PET scan after 1 mos, and, the chemo might be continued if the cancer seems to be shrinking or he can tolerate the regimen. If not, we will terminate treatment and he will go on hospice.

As for pain meds, he's on a boatload of meds. His Dr is in agreement with you, Fuzzy, and has no problem whatsoever prescribing what he needs for the pain and other side effects. I saw his actual med sheet and it's eye popping.

Will keep everyone updated as things progress
 
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yay!, Dad's home :)

I am very impressed with your Dad, Oceanbreeze.
What a feisty spirit he is!
Let's hope the chemo will shrink the tumor more than it's supposed to (fingers crossed!)
Yeah, the med combo he takes might look imposing but is very needed indeed.
Look like your dad is in good hands.

Well, may things go as best as they can for your daddy,
and gentle hugs for you Oceanbreeze

Fuzzy
 
I understand. Just wanted to let you know we are here for you.
drop in whenever you can.

:grouphug:

Fuzzy
 
Things are getting more difficult.

Dad is now suffering some side effects from the chemo; which is to be expected. To add to this, his feeding tube was placed incorrectly and the Dr wants to have it redone. However, Dad does NOT want to be readmitted to have a second placement. The Dr will be calling us back on Monday with what the next step is. On top of that, Home health dropped Dad from care citing that he's not homebound. Well, really, the only place this man goes is to the Dr and back. So, what's the stinking deal?? Anyway, apparently, it's HOW the DR wrote the orders. Long story short, Mom got it straight and he's been picked back up as of Monday.

But, it's been a long day. Mom's not dealing well and on and on... As for me, I'm ready for a hot bath and my bed, please!

That's all for now.
 
It's been awhile, OB.. feel free for an update whenever you feel like.
Thinking of you and your dad, and your whole family.

Fuzzy
 
As I said, Fuzzy, I won't be updating unless there's reason to update.

Unfortunately, things aren't great. Dad's back in the hospital with a wound infection around the feeding tube site. The tube was removed yesterday and he's undergoing antibiotic treatment. He'll be in the hospital for at least two more days. The tube site has to heal before they can reinsert it. They are planning to wait at least 7-10 days before they attempt a second reinsertion of the tube.

But, Fuzzy. I mean this ... DO NOT expect me to update even every few days. I can't.

1. Alldeaf is my lowest priority after family and close friends.
2. I'm living a nightmare and it takes all I can just to get through each day.

When I feel like it, I'll keep you all in the loop, but I can already tell you this will not end well. He has very little time left and I need to spend whatever time I have with him and with family.
 
Oceanbreeze said:
But, Fuzzy. I mean this ... DO NOT expect me to update even every few days. I can't.
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First let me tell you, I am beyond sorry at the news.
No, what you wrote doesn't look well, and gosh, when you say nightmare,
I know exactly what you mean,
and my heart is breaking for you :(

Now, please, I did not and do not expect any update unless you feel ready,
just as I stated at the beginning of my earlier post, so no, please don't feel pressured to, ever.

Just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you, even if I am not writting every single day, either.
But you and your dad are in my thoughts everyday.
Whenever you need me, I am here for you, just know that please.

:hug:

Fuzzy
 
Dad's responding to the meds they have him on. Turns out, he has periotonitis caused by a fungal infection from the feeding tube. No idea when he will be released from the hospital, but not before the end of the weekend, at least. Dr wants to make sure the wound site is healing well before she discharges him. No idea on when the PEG will be replaced. But, he's stable for now and sounds a WHOLE lot better!
 
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