Dad update

DeafCaroline said:
Ocean, I've been in the exact same place as you two years ago. The difficulty swallowing, my father had that problem too. It's really difficult emotionally to watch someone go through advanced cancer and my heart goes out to you. When you get a chance, have a long private talk with your father - all the things you would have wished you had a chance to say before it was too late. It will mean a great deal to both of you.
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Thank you, Caroline. I've already taken your advice and we've had some talks. Not really heavy talks, but just being with him and light hearted banter. Right now, he's still trying to grasp what's happening and he's bouncing in and out the stages of grief, I suppose. Bouncing from anger to denial. That anger is good, because, it means he's fighting. Unfortunately, it also means he gets cranky with US, but, we just let his moods pass. Then, he goes back into this weird denial and doesn't seem to grasp the true nature of this. We are just letting him deal with this in his own way. We figure that reality will set in soon enough, so why force it? It won't do him or us any good to hasten the acceptance process for him; especially when WE are still trying to wrap our own minds around this ourselves.
 
Praying strength, comfort, wisdom, and grace for you, your dad, and your family. :hug:
 
Hang in there! We're all praying for you and your dad. :hug:
 
Dad was admitted to the hospital this evening. Surgery to insert both his port for the chemo and the feeding tube will be sometime tomorrow. Then, he will get his 1st round of chemo (low dose). Once they see how he responds to it, he will get a higher dose of chemo and that will continue on a set schedule.

Depending on how the tumors respond to the chemotherapy and how well he handles it, they may or may not do radiation. His long term survival is poor, but we still have hope.
 
We received devestating news today. Dad's pulmonary Dr doesn't think he will withstand chemotherapy and is recommending that we not pursue treatment. Instead, he recommends we bring in hospice and let Dad live out whatever time he has left in peace. In the meanwhile, the feeding tube and port was placed (he was in surgery when this news was given to us). Dad will be informed of this, and, will make the final decision regarding his treatment or lack thereof. But, we now know that he has weeks left instead of months, and, treatment won't change the prognosis. The cancer is too aggressive.

To say, we his family, are heartbroken is an understatement. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. We have yet to tell my sister's children of their GFs condition and that will be hard.

Many thanks to all who have thought about us and prayed for us thus far. Your support has meant the world to me! :hug:
 
Oceanbreeze said:
We received devestating news today. Dad's pulmonary Dr doesn't think he will withstand chemotherapy and is recommending that we not pursue treatment. Instead, he recommends we bring in hospice and let Dad live out whatever time he has left in peace. In the meanwhile, the feeding tube and port was placed (he was in surgery when this news was given to us). Dad will be informed of this, and, will make the final decision regarding his treatment or lack thereof. But, we now know that he has weeks left instead of months, and, treatment won't change the prognosis. The cancer is too aggressive.

To say, we his family, are heartbroken is an understatement. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. We have yet to tell my sister's children of their GFs condition and that will be hard.

Many thanks to all who have thought about us and prayed for us thus far. Your support has meant the world to me! :hug:
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Oh!! This is so sad. I will continue to pray for all of you. If you do the Hospice, they do have grief counselors and social workers who will be able to help you break the news to your sister's kids. We were offered that when my FIL went through Hospice. They had lined up counselors in Missouri through Hospice up there from down here. My kids didn't need it as they were already prepared.
 
Oceanbreeze said:
We received devestating news today. Dad's pulmonary Dr doesn't think he will withstand chemotherapy and is recommending that we not pursue treatment. Instead, he recommends we bring in hospice and let Dad live out whatever time he has left in peace. In the meanwhile, the feeding tube and port was placed (he was in surgery when this news was given to us). Dad will be informed of this, and, will make the final decision regarding his treatment or lack thereof. But, we now know that he has weeks left instead of months, and, treatment won't change the prognosis. The cancer is too aggressive.

To say, we his family, are heartbroken is an understatement. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. We have yet to tell my sister's children of their GFs condition and that will be hard.

Many thanks to all who have thought about us and prayed for us thus far. Your support has meant the world to me! :hug:
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I am so sorry. It is terrible and difficult time for you and your family. My prayers goes to you and your family. :grouphug:
 
Ocean, I have no words to tell you how devastated I am right there with you.
:cry:

I wish you strength and calmness in upcoming days. And your entire family.
Lots of love and hugs to you, Oceanbreeze
:hug:

Fuzzy
 
Ocean- I wish I could reach out and hug you right now. My heart and prayers are with you and your family. I hope that he is able to be comfortable in his time left on this earthly plane, and that you are able to recount the good times with him, and share your cherished memories with eachother. ILY Ocean...
 
:(

I seconded Frisky: be with him all you can have that you will have more worthy times to spend with him... Again, I am so sorry. :hug:
 
Thank you all!

Some of the info I got yesterday was miscontrued by me. He did NOT have the feeding tube placed yesterday, but he DID have the catheter placed for what would have been chemotherapy. He is having the feeding tube placed TODAY. My sister briefly talked to Dad this morning and he is aware that things have changed. In his words, "I need to talk to the Dr and make some decisions..." So, he knows or is getting the jist of things.

Meanwhile, we are under the assumption that Dad will come home on hospice in the next day or so. As stubborn as this man is, I just don't see him consenting to such grueling treatment when it won't change the outcome. At this point, the gentler thing to do may just be to bring him home and let him spend whatever time is left without the torture of chemo and such.

As for me, I'm "dealing". It has NOT sunk in yet. But, I had a talk with my sister and there is now a plan in place for how/when to tell the kids (her kids) about how grave their Grandfather's condition is.

I have a request for all of you. Please keep your loved ones close and love them as much as you can. You never know what life may throw at you. I can honestly say to you all that of all the possible ways for him to leave this world, this was NOT how I saw this playing out. Esophageal cancer is really a cruel way to leave this world. It truly is. :(
 
Oceanbreeze said:
Thank you all!

Some of the info I got yesterday was miscontrued by me. He did NOT have the feeding tube placed yesterday, but he DID have the catheter placed for what would have been chemotherapy. He is having the feeding tube placed TODAY. My sister briefly talked to Dad this morning and he is aware that things have changed. In his words, "I need to talk to the Dr and make some decisions..." So, he knows or is getting the jist of things.

Meanwhile, we are under the assumption that Dad will come home on hospice in the next day or so. As stubborn as this man is, I just don't see him consenting to such grueling treatment when it won't change the outcome. At this point, the gentler thing to do may just be to bring him home and let him spend whatever time is left without the torture of chemo and such.

As for me, I'm "dealing". It has NOT sunk in yet. But, I had a talk with my sister and there is now a plan in place for how/when to tell the kids (her kids) about how grave their Grandfather's condition is.

I have a request for all of you. Please keep your loved ones close and love them as much as you can. You never know what life may throw at you. I can honestly say to you all that of all the possible ways for him to leave this world, this was NOT how I saw this playing out. Esophageal cancer is really a cruel way to leave this world. It truly is. :(
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Cancer, no matter what kind it is, is very cruel. My thoughts are with you and I'm so glad you're making arrangements to take him home. That's exactly what we wanted to do for our father but he was far too sick to be moved. I hope you're holding up ok.

Hugs.
 
Things are literally changing second by second. Dad has decided to give chemo a try. I'm not sure if this is a good idea, but he's lucid and can make decisions. So, for right now, he's being treated. His cancer cannot be cured; nor is the prognosis any different with treatment (life expectancy is still about a month), but it's what Dad wants. He is still coming home on hospice and we will take each day as it comes.

His expected discharge from the hospital is some time in the next day or so.
 
Ocean your Dad is a fighter it looks like praying always may god be there for you give you strength to get through this ...you will have many blessing for being there for your dad...
 
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